RENEGADE FIRE

by Jaxson Kidman

  “She’s back in town…”

  chapter four

  (willow)

  *NOW*

  I hated that Grammie was sick. I had done my best flying back and forth from Georgia to Bishop to visit her when I could but it got to be too much. So I quit my job, cashed in everything I could, and moved back to Bishop. I swore I’d never return to that damn town. And of all times, right during autumn. Walking down the street to Grammie’s house, the leaves falling and crunching under my feet, that was like the soundtrack to my life and my broken heart.

  The Alzheimer’s came out of nowhere and hit her hard. The worst was last week when she set her kitchen on fire. That’s when my cousin Deb called and said we had to come up with a plan. Deb lived in Florida and couldn’t afford to miss any more work. The only real choice was to sell the house and get Grammie the best care possible. That was going to take some time, something Deb really didn’t have. She had a husband, two kids, and worked as an attorney. I slung food around tables for a living, the career waitress so it didn’t matter if I had to up and leave a place. Plus, Grammie and I had gone back years and years. I owed it to her to help as much as I could.

  So I was back in Bishop and it was terrible. Last time I saw Grammie was a month ago. She wasn’t all that bad. But that month changed everything. I cried my eyes out for hours when I got to town. The emotion of the town and knowing the last piece of my childhood was slipping away just killed me.

  I drank coffee with Deb, looked at pictures, and cried some more.

  That’s when Deb told me to go out for a drink. She was going to be in town for another day or two and I needed to gather myself up so I could adjust. As luck would have it, Deb and I had a mutual friend in Claire, who never left Bishop. Claire was free and I was set to get a drink and settle back in.

  So I drove to the little bar a few miles away. I remember when I was younger, right after turning eighteen, sitting out back, waiting for a chance to sneak in and steal a beer or two. Life was so easy then.

  I hadn’t seen Claire in a year.

  We hugged and sat at the bar. It was like we didn’t miss a beat.

  “Bobby still works at the garage. Long hours, decent pay, but he loves it. I can’t complain.”

  “How are the boys?” I asked.

  “First grade and pre-k.”

  “Wow. Time is flying.”

  “It’s always flying,” Claire said. “Hey. I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I had no idea it was that bad. I’ve heard things but you know how this town is. Everyone talks. If I knew…”

  “It’s fine,” I said. “I didn’t know it was that bad until the fire.”

  “I heard about that too,” Claire said. “Everything okay inside the house?”

  “Yeah. Just needed a new stove. She tried cooking something and forgot about it. She tried to go to bed! She was upstairs when the smoke alarm was going off. If Deb hadn’t been in town…”

  I started to choke up a little.

  I grabbed a napkin and took a breath.

  Claire rubbed my back. “Sorry, sweetie. It’s a fuck of a disease. Bobby’s Great Aunt Millie went through it. It’s not pretty. But at least you’re back in town. We can see each other a lot more than once a year.”

  “Yeah, right,” I said.

  “If you need a job I can talk to Ron,” Claire said. “I still cover some weekend shifts at his restaurant. He’d hire you in a second.”

  “Maybe I’ll do that,” I said. “Thanks.”

  We shoved the emotional shit about life to the side and enjoyed a glass of wine. The bar was packed with the usual guys, including what looked like a few rough and tough guys playing pool. They were in leather jackets, everything black.

  I had heard rumors a long time ago…

  “Is that the gang?” I whispered to Claire.

  Claire laughed. “First, you don’t have to whisper. Second, they’re a motorcycle club. Third, yes, it’s them.”

  “Remember when we were young and they were like monsters to us?”

  “They’re important to the town,” Claire said. “You know Bobby had a chance to get with them.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. He helps them sometimes. If they get a car they can’t fix or something. Or they need a bigger tow truck. A couple of the guys - Jace and, uh, Ryan - went out with Bobby a few times. They mentioned about Bobby joining but Bobby said no.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s a motorcycle club,” Claire said. “They’re at war with everyone. Guys get hurt. Shot. Beat up. They go to jail.”

  “So it’s a bunch of crime stuff?” I asked.

  “I don’t know what they actually do. But I know this… when they’re around, everyone feels safer. We had a few times where crime started to spike and they stepped in and eased it out. Last year there was a rumor about some big rich guy coming into town to start buying up properties to put in stores.”

  “Is that bad?” I asked.

  “Bad for anyone who owns their own place,” Claire said. “Too much development in a town like this kills it. So the MC did something.”

  “Such as?”

  “I don’t know,” Claire said. “The guy took his offer off the table and that was that.”

  I looked over at them.

  They were big men, covered in tattoos, smoking, drinking, making noise. Nothing about them seemed to be protective or political enough to chase away someone wanting to build in Bishop.

  “Hey, want to hear a good one?” Claire asked.

  “Yeah, sure,” I said.

  “Remember that asshole who used to pick on you all the time? Gage?”

  Just hearing his name was like a dagger to my heart. I’d be a total liar if I didn’t admit that I had been thinking about him from the second I came to town. I wasn’t sure if he actually stayed put in Bishop. And if he did…”

  “Do you remember Gage?” Claire asked.

  “Yeah, I remember him,” I said.

  “He’s in that club,” Claire said.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Yeah. He’s really important to the club.”

  I opened my mouth but didn’t want to sound too surprised. “Well, I guess that makes sense. He was a bully all my life so why not end up like that?”

  “You know what they say when a boy bullies you…”

  We both laughed even though mine was a forced laugh.

  We sat for another good two hours just talking about life. It felt good to just let go for a little bit and talk to Claire. I had to trade wine for water so I could drive home without getting into trouble.

  When I realized how late it was, I stood up to give Deb a call.

  “I need to check on Grammie.”

  “That’s so cute you call her Grammie,” Claire said.

  “Well, I’m not going to call her Marjorie,” I said.

  “Should we just call it a night?” Claire asked.

  I could tell she was being courteous to me. Her eyes begged to stay out longer.

  I shook my head. “Let me just check with Deb. I’m sure we’re fine.”

  I stepped away to make the call. When I’d return, my life would forever change.

  I should have just called it a night.

  chapter five

  (willow)

  *THEN*

  We stood under the bleachers where the local football team would take the field every Friday, giving the town something to do. For me and my friends, it was a chance to meet up with guys, hold hands, kiss under the bleachers, and if things got hotter, we could take a walk in the woods and see what would happen.

  It wasn’t football season though as I stood there with Gage, kissing him, our tongues enraged in a wild battle. The hottest kiss of my life. The guy that had been bullying me for all those years and he was finally kissing me. All those times Grammie told me that when a boy bullies you it means he likes you… it made sense right then.

>   He was so cool in his black t-shirt, his muscles pouring from the sleeves, the scruff on his face, and the way his blue eyes and black hair made him look so devilishly delicious. I had heard stories around town about him. How crazy he was. How many women he slept with. And now his sights were on me.

  The kiss broke and Gage put a hand to one of the legs of the bleachers and stared down at me.

  “How long have you wanted that to happen?”

  I was breathless, my lips puckering and making a popping sound for a few seconds. I had nothing. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. I was nineteen and that was the first time in my life I felt like I had been really kissed. Sure, I wasn’t a stranger to guys and fooling around, but this was Gage.

  “What was that about?” I asked, regaining some sense on consciousness.

  Gage shrugged his shoulders. “I felt like kissing you.”

  “That’s why you said to meet you here? I thought something serious was wrong.”

  “Look, I know you’ve had some rough things going on,” Gage said. “I just wanted to check on you before you left.”

  I sighed.

  Shit.

  I was leaving Bishop. I was going to meet up with a friend down in Georgia and start over. Grammie was my best supporter of the idea, telling me I needed to shed the town. She was okay on her own and I had been working lots of hours to save up money to make the move. The plan was to get settled and go to nursing school.

  I stared at Gage and for a split second I considered changing everything.

  For him? For real?

  I knew the truth about Gage when nobody else did. What he went through. How he lived. So the picking on me stuff was just his call for attention. It was cute. I didn’t get much attention from guys. I was considered poor and dirty, no matter how hard I tried to be clean. It wasn’t a shower thing though. It was a judgment thing. An appearance of the house where I had grown up. All that dumb stuff that lingered from high school. But that was my own fault for lingering after high school.

  No more though.

  “Why now, Gage?” I asked. “You tortured me for years.”

  “Ah, come on,” he said with a sexy grin. “It wasn’t all that bad. I was just fucking around.”

  “You stepped on my sand castle.”

  “I did?”

  “Yeah! And you broke my toes. You called me names. You put gum in my hair and I had to get a bad haircut. You called me metal mouth when I had braces. You…”

  Gage grabbed me again and kissed me again. His hand at my lower back, sending warm pulses down through my legs and up between my legs.

  God did he know how to kiss a woman.

  I broke the kiss and shoved him back. “Why are you doing this?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m… I’m going to miss you. I wanted to tell you you were making the right decision by leaving. This town has nothing for us.”

  I was in shock. “So what are you going to do?”

  “Stay here,” he said. “It’s in my blood.”

  I touched Gage’s arm. “You don’t have to stay here. You can do anything, Gage. Don’t let your past…”

  He ripped his arm away. “Hey. Don’t fucking telling me what to do, okay? Just pack your shit and get out of here. Don’t be stupid.”

  “Don’t get mean…”

  “Whatever,” Gage snapped. “Hope you enjoyed your fucking kiss. That was a pity kiss by the way. Everyone says you don’t put out. That’s why Jake cheated on you.”

  I gasped.

  I had been with Jake for six months and was falling for him. We had sex quite a bit, not that it was anyone’s business. But Jake cheated on me and got caught. And now it was somehow my fault or something?

  “You’re an asshole,” I said. “A dirty asshole. You’re nothing but a bully. A stupid bully. You pick on me because you hate yourself.”

  “Whatever,” Gage said. “Talk all you want, Willow. Good luck with the rest of your life.”

  Gage turned and walked away.

  “Fuck yourself!” I screamed.

  Gage threw the middle finger.

  That was the last time I saw him.

  Until years later… in a bar…

  chapter six

  (gage)

  *NOW*

  Gunner handed me the bottle but I didn’t drink from it. I finished off my last beer an hour ago and just sat outside, staring at the dark sky. I had no reason to keep the night going in the clubhouse. Not with what I found out.

  Willow’s back in town.

  Anyone who knew me knew that I was a prick to her when we were younger. Just my way of letting off some steam and, shit, having a thing for her but never pursuing it. More than that, it was because of her that I ended up wearing the cut. See, I had this thing in my mind that we’d eventually end up hooking up. I’d finally get to fuck her senseless and that would lead to something more powerful. Then I got wind she was splitting to Georgia. There was no way in hell I was going to stop that. A chance to get out of Bishop? At that time the town was a pit. Nothing to do but cause trouble. The MC was up and running but nothing like it was today. There were tons of problems in Bishop, all of which smoothed themselves over once Sid finally took the gavel and started to lay down his version of the law.

  That’s where I came into play.

  “You know her grandmother is sick, right?”

  “I heard,” I said. “I knew she visited here and there. But coming back to live? That’s a whole new ballgame, man. She shouldn’t have done that. Fuck.”

  “What’s it matter to you?”

  “It doesn’t,” I said. “Fuck it. I hope she knows what she’s doing.” I stood up from the table, staring at my motorcycle. “We did good tonight, brother. Taking care of business.”

  “That’s what we do best,” Gunner said.

  “Go back inside. Find something to fuck.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “For a drink,” I said. “I need to be alone. I’m all worked up.”

  “Stay here, man,” Gunner said.

  I looked back at Gunner. I didn’t need to defend my actions. He knew that. Gunner put his hands up, giving up on the argument.

  I was sober enough to ride but drunk on memories. I didn’t want to be in the clubhouse and deal with the bullshit. Tossing darts, shooting pool, dumb bets, stiff drinks, naked women, and eventually someone mouthing off and a fight breaking out.

  My plan was to hit the local bar, grab a beer, chase away Willow’s memory, and then head to my apartment for some sleep.

  There was this one thing about my plans though…

  They always got fucked up.

  chapter seven

  (gage)

  *THEN*

  What the fuck was I thinking?

  I really had no idea why I told Willow to meet me under the bleachers. Shit, part of me wanted to finally fuck her. I wanted to keep her hidden, my dirty secret, and devour her sweet body and innocence until it was okay to be seen with her.

  Okay to be seen with her?

  That shit was just wrong. We both grew up poor, living across the street from one another. Some days we were buddies, most days I was a total asshole to her. That was only because I didn’t know how to act around her. I had nothing to offer her. Not with my parents always fighting. Mom and Dad throwing ashtrays at each other, trying to outdo one another. Fuck it would get so bad the cops would show up and they’d have to decide who would go to jail so I didn’t get taken away. They never wanted to lose me but they never really took care of me. That was the worst mind fuck of all.

  And I projected that shit onto Willow. Maybe I wanted her to feel some of my pain. Maybe I wanted her to comfort me. Whatever it was, I sucked at doing it.

  Just like when I kissed her. I hadn’t planned on kissing her like that, but I thought it was our last chance to be together. So I went for it. Then I snapped again and lost my shit.

 
Sipping whiskey did no good once I was standing in a parking lot filled with motorcycles. The place was my future. I knew how to fix shit and I knew how to cause trouble. That’s what they did around the motorcycle club in town. I wanted in. I wanted to make a statement. I wanted to project my anger to the entire fucking town of Bishop.

  I walked up to the office door and tapped on the glass. The sign read CLOSED but I threw it the middle finger (just like I had done to Willow) and stepped back, ready to raise my own hell.

  I put my arm back to launch the bottle when someone grabbed my wrist and twisted. I dropped the bottle but it didn’t break. Spinning around, I threw a punch, hitting who I’d later find out was the President of the Bitter Aces right in the mouth. He then made a hammer fist and came down on the bridge of my nose, shattering it. I dropped, eyes full of tears, and he reached down and grabbed my shirt.

  “Breaking my fucking window, asshole?” he growled.

  “Yeah, I fucking am,” I said. My nose throbbed and bled everywhere. “What are you going to do about it?”

  Sid grinned at me and pulled me to my feet.

  We stared each other down before he had two of his prospects drag me out to the street and beat me up good. The next day I woke up to find a letter in my mailbox, handwritten by Sid, telling me to meet him at midnight.

  I did.

  From there, it took me less than a year to rise up through the ranks of the Bitter Aces MC and sit to Sid’s right, his second most trusted member behind the VP.

  And the second the leather cut grazed my shoulders, I was done with the past. Nothing mattered more than the future of the MC and what we were going to accomplish.

  Nothing would ever change that… NOTHING…

  chapter eight

  (gage)

  *NOW*

  All I knew was this - she wasn’t at the bar when I got there. Somewhere between me grabbing a seat and pounding half a beer in one good gulp, she appeared.