RENEGADE FIRE

by Jaxson Kidman

  He said I was a bitch.

  Later that night, when his parents came home, they fought really loud. I saw Gage outside, sitting on the porch, fingers in his ears. I felt guilty then for leaving him.

  “Say something to her,” Grammie said.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered.

  I was still trying to understand what it meant to be dead. Or that at least my Mama was dead. I guess it would get easier with time.

  “It’s okay,” Grammie said. “This is hard. But I believe she’s happier now. She’s at peace now, Willow. I hope you understand that someday.”

  I looked up at Grammie. “Can we go now?”

  “Sure.”

  We went to the car and Grammie took me for ice cream. We then went to the beer store where she bought her favorite beer. She only did that when we went to the cemetery. She would drink a few and then leave the rest for company or just dump them out and throw them away.

  On the ride back home, I blurted out a question. “Why is Gage a jerk?”

  Grammie laughed. “Most guys are, Willow.”

  “But he’s a big jerk. To me.”

  “I think Gage is just confused. You hear his life through those windows.”

  “Why is he mean to me?”

  “Maybe he doesn’t know what it’s like to be nice.”

  “So what do I do?”

  Grammie parked the car in front of our house. She turned toward me. “Willow, if Gage ever really hurts you, I want to know. But I’m sure he’s just looking for your attention. For all you know you might like him someday. You might end up with him! I’ve seen it before.”

  “Me? Gage? Ew.”

  I looked out the window, trying to hide my blushing cheeks and smile.

  Me? Gage? Together? That was a fantasy.

  chapter twenty-one

  (willow)

  *NOW*

  I sat on the steps of the deck and watched Gage walk toward me. I was half tempted to ask him if he had any of those cigarettes with him. But again he didn’t stink like smoke. He got to the bottom of the steps and leaned forward, kissing my head.

  “What do you need from me?” he asked.

  I had suddenly become settled in Bishop. And that consisted of dealing with Grammie during the day and dealing with Gage during the night. He always asked me the same question: what do you need from me?

  That alone was a comfort.

  Just having him near me.

  I looked up at him and against the light on the deck I saw that his face looked messed up.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Tell me. That’s what I need to hear.”

  Gage laughed. “Fair enough, babe. Had to take apart a motorcycle and a wrench got me in the face.”

  “Is that what you tell the cops?” I asked.

  “Smart ass,” he said.

  “Come on, tell me.”

  “Okay,” Gage said. “That night in the bar… that fight I had. That was Johnny Mac from school. He’s connected and our crews don’t see eye to eye. So we had to handle a little business. They like to rob things and they wanted to go after something in town. So we had to have an Irish meeting.”

  “Irish meeting?” I asked.

  Gage pointed to his eye. “A fight, babe. We had to work things out, okay?”

  “Did you work things out?”

  “I’m still standing.”

  “So that’s what you do?”

  “What’s that?”

  “You fight people and make money?”

  “In a way,” he said. “What’s it matter to you?”

  “I’m just curious,” I said. “I want to make sure I don’t end up in trouble.”

  Gage touched my cheek and smiled. “I’m standing in front of you. You’re already in trouble.”

  God, that was so sexy to hear.

  “How does this all end up working with us?” I asked.

  “However you want. Now tell me why I’m here.”

  “She had an appointment today. It didn’t go so well.”

  “Damn, babe. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. It’s progressing fast. Really fast.”

  “So what’s the plan?”

  “I don’t know. I have to call Deb and talk.”

  “What can I do?”

  “Just stand there,” I said. I stared Gage up and down. Fuck, he was really hot. And he knew it too. “So you’re here… instead of being with any woman out there.”

  “And why does that matter to you?”

  “Are you here to make up for everything you did to me?”

  “If eating your pussy makes up for putting gum in your hair, then yes.”

  “You’re gross.”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “I hate you, Gage. I’ve hated you for years. And Grammie was always the one that saved you.”

  “Saved me?” he asked.

  “She always told me about you. To stick it out. To be your friend. Because you needed me. I always wondered what would happen between us.”

  “Now you know.”

  “Is this serious?” I asked.

  “Define serious,” Gage said. “Because as far as I know, I’m your booty call, babe. You text me, I come over, I fuck you, then I leave.”

  “You spent the night the first time.”

  “Yeah, that played out well as I pretended to be a fucking plumber.”

  I laughed. “Your face…”

  “Your face was priceless,” he cut in.

  “You know, of all things she can’t remember, Grammie keeps asking how the sink is doing. I think somehow she remembers you from before the fake plumber thing. It’s weird how her mind works.”

  “Do you want to keep talking about it?”

  I could see there was a sense of genuine care in Gage’s eyes. Part of me did want to talk more. To confess everything I had in my heart to Gage. But he wasn’t there for that. He was there for business.

  “No,” I said.

  “Then what do you want to do, babe?”

  Gage had kicked up a fire in me. So I said what was on my mind.

  “I want to suck your cock.”

  I thought I had surprised Gage, but I wasn’t sure I could make that happen. He grabbed his jeans and tore them open. Talk about confidence, right? He dropped his jeans and boxers down to his knees and let his thick cock just hang there. He grabbed his heavy root and started to stroke. Each time his hand came forward and pulled back, his dick got bigger and bigger.

  My mouth was watering as I leaned forward, going down a step so I was eye level with him.

  I couldn’t believe the sexual appetite Gage had found in me.

  He let his cock go and it stood tall, pointing right at me. I put my hand under his shaft and tried to squeeze. He was so thick though. Gently, I placed my lips to the tip of his cock and I kissed. As though I was worshipping his cock and what it had been doing for me. It was better than booze and more addicting than a drug. I was at the point where I needed Gage every night.

  My lips parted and I came forward, taking the full head of his cock into my mouth. I groaned as I tried to move more on him but my mouth wasn’t exactly big enough, not to mention my heart racing. I pulled back, sliding my lips against the ridge on his cock. Gage let out a hiss and put his hand to my head.

  “Right there, babe,” he growled.

  He thrust forward at me, testing me instantly. I had no breath, my mouth full, and I grabbed at his legs. The muscles in his legs were like steel. Forget tree trunks, these were heavy pillars.

  “You’re doing great,” Gage said.

  He slowly inched back and out of my mouth completely.

  I took a second to catch my breath. My jaw was already sore but that was okay. I wanted more. So I went right back to work. I came at him with fury, taking him into my mouth, sucking at him, groaning, my hand pumping at the bottom of his sha
ft. He tasted so fucking good. I loved the way his fingers gently dug into the back of my head, always wanting to test me more.

  At one point I had to look up and realize that I was pleasuring the guy that used to pick on me. The guy that had made me cry so many times. The guy who had given me my first crush and the guy who drove my heart crazy.

  I stayed with Gage, moving both my hands to his cock. I held him with both hands and my mouth still more than full. It felt so good to pleasure him. He tasted hard and delicious. The noises he made - grunts and hisses - echoed out into the night. We were in a position to get caught and that made it all even hotter.

  I pulled away from him to catch my breath and ran my hands up the length of his cock. I swirled my hands around and along the head of his cock. I felt the wetness on his cock from my mouth and it made me throb between my thighs.

  When I moved at him again, Gage stopped me.

  “No, babe,” he said. “That’s enough for now. I’m here for you.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  Gage leaned down and grabbed me. He hoisted me up to the top of the deck and he started to climb up the steps. He then grabbed at my pants and offered me the sexiest and sly smile I’d ever seen in my life.

  “Babe, I’m here for one reason… to fuck you.”

  chapter twenty-two

  (gage)

  *NOW*

  I wasn’t going to bother taking her into the house. I wanted to fuck her right there on the deck. And that’s exactly what I did.

  I lowered my knees down to the top of the deck and eased forward, pressing my cock against Willow’s pussy. I watched her hesitate, ready to take me but knowing it was going to be a tight squeeze for a little while. She grabbed at my leather cut, clutching tight.

  “Fuck, babe,” I growled as I thrust, opening her. “You’re so tight.”

  She let out a groan as I plunged the rest of my cock into her.

  Enough messing around.

  I was there for a specific reason.

  Goddamn, I wanted to hear about her day though. About her grandmother. About her fucking life. I wanted her to give it all to me so I could hold it and keep her safe.

  But Willow didn’t want that from me. I was the guy that damn near tortured her for years and chased her away.

  So now all I could offer was my cock.

  And I gave it to her. Hard. Fast.

  I made fists and put them to the deck. I hovered over her beautiful body, staring down at the smoothness of her belly button that gave way to her mound and pussy. When I pulled out of her, her labia clung to my shaft. I fucked forward, opening her again and again, feeling her sheathing me dangerously tight.

  In a minute I felt like I was going to explode. My balls were twisted tight and ready to go. But I had to hold off for Willow. Her back started to rub hard against the deck. I watched her face twist in pleasure and pain.

  I had no choice but to pull out of her.

  Her feet dropped to the first step, her legs open, the luscious pink color of her slit making my mouth hungry again.

  “Hold on,” I said as I reached for the chairs.

  My pants were down around my ankles. My cock was thick and throbbing, gently bouncing as the steel pole it was. I grabbed the cushions off two of the chairs and put them on the deck. I couldn’t believe I gave a shit enough to do this for Willow. I scooped Willow up and put her on the cushions.

  “There, babe,” I whispered.

  I lowered my body down to hers. Our lips flirted, led by Willow trying to kiss me.

  I thrust into her again, going as deep as I could. Her mouth opened with a whimper. That’s when I kissed her.

  I never kissed someone during sex. It just wasn't my thing to do. Fucking was about me coming. About me getting some goddamn relief in my fucked up world of the Bitter Aces MC.

  When I fucked Willow though, it was about her. Her chance at relief.

  And… goddamn… her body…

  I sped up again, pressing my chest against hers. My hands traveled down her shirt until it ended and I felt her warm skin. I kept going, cupping around to her ass, holding her tight. I pumped with everything I had to offer Willow. My lips and tongue sampled the sweetness of her neck. I buried my nose into her hair and inhaled the smell of the day’s sweat and her shampoo.

  Willow reached around and scratched at my ass.

  “Oh, shit,” she groaned.

  I felt a gush of warm wetness and a pulse against my cock that made me groan as I bucked forward, plowing through it. She was coming like crazy, spilling everywhere. Her mouth clamped to my ear as she groaned over and over. Finally, she kissed my neck and started to bite at me until she got my mouth.

  I already normally don’t kiss while fucking.

  I definitely never kissed while coming.

  Willow shattered all my fucking rules though.

  I felt the intense urge pull up through my balls. My cock throbbed as I sank deep into her, letting go. My cum splattered all over the insides of her body. I kept thrusting, loving the feel of her hips rocking, trying to make room for me and my cum.

  I pulled away from the kiss but I kept our noses touching. There was a deadly stare between us. Something really fucking scary. In that moment I wanted to pull out and run the fuck away. Willow could do better than me. She could find someone normal and have that normal bullshit life.

  But her hands held at my ass, digging, wanting me to keep pumping at her.

  So I stayed there, slowly fucking her until long after I was done coming.

  We kissed on and off. Sometimes we smiled.

  We didn’t speak a word.

  Shit, I had no fucking clue what to even say.

  Willow threw her arms around me and I lifted her up as we hugged. I felt the resistance in her hug, knowing she didn’t want me to go. But I couldn’t stay the night. Not again.

  My hands touched her sides as her shirt pulled up.

  The hug lasted longer than any normal hug should have lasted.

  When we broke away I realized Willow was crying.

  I grabbed her by her shoulders. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

  She looked at me. “Everything. Everything is wrong, Gage.”

  “Tell me.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not your problem. Thank you for coming over. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you.”

  “I’m still standing here, Willow. What do you want? You want to go back in time and talk? Let’s do that. You need to cry because of your grandmother. Cry. Do it.”

  Willow stared at me. I waited for her to say something. To say anything to me.

  She touched my chest. Her hands were shaking.

  There was so much waiting between us.

  Say it, babe. Say what you need to say to me.

  “I have to go,” she whispered. “I have to check on Grammie.”

  She inched away and I dropped my hands.

  I felt my heart twisting. I felt rage. I felt anger. I felt guilt.

  I was a second away from throwing the finger and saying fuck this to everything with Willow.

  Instead, an idea came to my mind and went straight to my lips.

  “Go out with me,” I said to her.

  “What?” she stopped.

  “Go out on a date with me. Just you and me. One date.”

  “Not a chance,” Willow said.

  She turned and ran to the deck. She walked right over the cushions where I had been fucking her. The deck door opened, shut, and she turned off the lights.

  Maybe that was for the better.

  Keep our distance.

  Let the past be the past and let the future be open.

  The only problem?

  I was too stubborn to let her go twice.

  chapter twenty-three

  (willow)

  *NOW*

  I looked at Deb on the laptop screen. We each lifted our mugs of coffee
and started to giggle. This was what technology gave us.

  “How is she?” Deb asked.

  “Watching her shows,” I said.

  “I hear you!” Grammie called from the living room. “Is that plumber here again?”

  “Plumber?” Deb asked.

  My face heated. “Nothing.” I turned and said to Grammie, “Do you want to talk to Deb?”

  Grammie turned her head. “What are you doing, Mary? I thought I told you…”

  I grabbed the laptop and stood up. “Let’s go for a walk.” I looked at Deb’s face on the screen and swallowed hard. “Give me a second.”

  I went outside and shut the door. I put the laptop on the table and sat down. I sat on the cushion where Gage and I had been together. It still made my stomach flutter a little thinking of him making a bed for me to be on when he pleasured me.

  That was a week ago.

  I’d seen Gage twice since then but we kept our clothes on. He came by to check on me and Grammie. I had wanted so badly to just go after him. Tackle him down. Beg him to stay. Maybe go out on that date he asked me about.

  “You look lost,” Deb said.

  “I am lost,” I said. “I never thought it would be like this. Everyday seems…”

  Deb nodded. “I know. I’m so sorry Willow.”

  “You were right, Deb. About getting extra help. She keeps taking the stairs. She gets angry a lot. She really thinks I’m her dead friend, Mary.”

  “She did that to me too,” Deb said. “She keeps the obituary…”

  “In the drawer,” I said. “How come she could remember that? She’s knows things…”

  “But not others,” Deb cut in. “Willow, I went through this with so many doctors. It’s just the nature of the disease. It’s so hard to see and deal with.”

  I felt the tears build up in my eyes. “I’m just…”

  “We have to make a decision. Before anything happens to her. Locking her in her room isn’t safe. You sleeping on the couch isn’t good either. She can still walk right by. Having the steps is a danger.”

  “I know!” I yelled. “She did so much for me. I thought I’d come here and… fix things.”