Chase the Wind

by Cindy Holby - Wind 01 - Chase the Wind

  “How bad?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

  “I don’t know; we won’t until they take the bandages off.”

  “Where’s Momma?” he asked. His eyes were totally focused now and were searching the room. “Dad?” he asked, his voice cracking on the word. Jenny squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head again. “Jenny, where are they?”

  “They died—they were murdered.”

  “What?” His eyes went wide, full of disbelief. Jenny sobbed. “They’re dead?” he asked, not believing her.

  “Yes,” she cried, “Yes.” She lowered her head to her chest and tried to wipe the tears away. Jamie looked up at the ceiling and ran his good hand through his hair. He reached out his arm to Jenny and pulled her down to him. He turned his face into her hair. He couldn’t stop the tears that were coming; he hadn’t even felt them come. They were just there, running down his face.

  “Where are we?” he finally asked when he felt Jenny’s shuddering sobs subside.

  “They sent us to an orphanage in St. Jo where you could be cared for.”

  “Who sent us?”

  “The town.”

  “I don’t understand, Jenny. What happened?” Jamie’s voice was weak and wavering as he struggled to make sense of their situation. Jenny raised herself from his chest and pushed his hair back off his forehead. His dark-lashed eyes were enormous in his gaunt, pale face.

  “I don’t understand it either,” she said soothingly. “When you feel better, we’ll talk about it.”

  Jamie wearily closed his eyes and nodded his consent. The morphine was still in his system and he wasn’t strong enough to fight it. Jenny stayed by his side, smoothing the ragged ends of his hair until she felt the steady breathing that meant he was asleep.

  Jenny knew that she was being watched long before Jamie returned to the sleep he so desperately needed. When she was sure that he was sleeping soundly, she turned to find Sister Mary Frances standing in the doorway.

  The woman shared a smile with Jenny and motioned for her to come nearer. Jenny checked on Jamie one more time and went over to the woman.

  “Would you walk with me for a bit?” she asked Jenny, who nodded and followed the nun outside.

  The mission was located a few miles outside of town, in the middle of a rolling field. The place was totally self-sufficient with a huge garden and a barn full of livestock. Jenny listened quietly as they walked around the grounds and the nun explained life at the mission. When they came to a small orchard of apple trees, Sister Mary Frances asked Jenny to take a seat on a bench under one of the bloom-filled branches. Jenny sat and patiently waited while the nun prepared herself.

  “You and your brother have been through a great ordeal in the past week. I know you didn’t ask to be sent here, but here you are, and here is where you will stay until you are adopted or of an age to leave.” She hadn’t yet said anything that Jenny didn’t know already. “I have seen a great bond between you and Jamie.”

  “Yes,” Jenny replied when the sister seemed to be waiting for an answer.

  “I have seen his wounds. He will have scars, bad scars, and it will be a great struggle for him to adjust.”

  “I will help him,” Jenny said firmly.

  “I’m sure you will.” The sister smiled at her determination. “But what about your scars?”

  “I don’t have any.”

  “Some scars are on the inside. You are scarred because of what you have seen.”

  “You don’t know what I saw.” Jenny raised her chin a notch. She didn’t know this nun, and she knew that she wasn’t ready to share her feelings with her.

  “I know you saw your parents murdered, and your brother severely burned. I know that is more than any child of your age should see.”

  “I don’t feel much like a child anymore.” Jenny stood up. “I haven’t eaten all day. Would it be possible for me to get some supper?” The nun carefully looked at the set of her shoulders and the grim lines on her face.

  “Of course, we’ll go find you something now.” Jenny took off at a rapid pace for the mission, challenging the sister to keep up with her long-legged stride, but the nun fell in beside her, matching her step for step. “You will be expected to earn your keep here. All of the children contribute to the running of the mission.”

  “We’re not afraid of hard work; we’ve done it all our lives.” Jenny kept her eyes straight ahead as they walked back to the mission.

  “I’m afraid we don’t have any girls your age here. They are all younger than you.”

  “That’s okay, I’ve never had much use for other girls anyway.”

  “There are a few boys your age,” the sister continued as if she hadn’t heard Jenny. “It will be nice to have some new students in our school. They always add a new perspective to things.”

  “We learned more from what our parents taught us at home than we ever did in school,” Jenny told the nun.

  “Then your knowledge will definitely be an asset to our classroom,” the nun assured her. Jenny felt as if she were talking to a wall. Apparently, the woman didn’t understand that as soon as Jamie was better, they were going to leave. Then, Jenny realized she hadn’t known that herself until just this minute.

  They came to the main building, and the sister led her to a huge room filled with tables and benches. “This is the girls’ table, here; boys eat over there,” the nun said. Jenny felt that this separation was a foolish notion, but she kept that opinion to herself for the moment. She took a seat at the girls’ table, and the sister soon returned with a plate for her. The food was bland, but Jenny was starving, and she attacked it with gusto. “Beginning tomorrow, you will follow a set schedule.”

  Jenny felt the walls close in on her as the nun went over the schedule with her. Visions of long summer evenings filled her head—wading in the creek with Jamie, chasing frogs and lizards, lying on the knoll watching the stars come out, counting the Sailing ones as they shot across the sky, catching fireflies with Gray Horse’s children, racing horses across the plains under a full moon, settling into bed, listening to the crickets and the soft laughter of her mother drifting up from the room below. There was no room for any of this in the schedule the sister had just given her. Where was the joy of childhood in this place? It suddenly dawned on Jenny that although she had seen children about, she hadn’t heard one yet. The little girls who had been washing up while she had slept had talked in quiet whispers, and those she had seen around the place scurried about like scared rabbits. Come to think of it, the nuns acted timid, too, except for Sister Mary Frances, who was now sitting across from her with a serene expression on her lovely face. She was beautiful, Jenny realized, older than her mother, not quite as old as Elizabeth had been. Her face was worn but unlined. Jenny recognized something in her eyes, something she had seen recently in her own, but she wasn’t sure what it was. She suddenly realized that she was very tired.

  “Could I see Jamie again before I go to bed?” she asked meekly. The sister couldn’t hide her surprise at receiving such a mild request from the brassy girl she had talked to earlier.

  “Yes, that would be fine.” She rose from the table. “We’ll make sure to allow time for that in your schedule.” Jenny smiled gratefully at the nun and followed her back to her brother’s bed. He was still asleep, and she tenderly swept back his hair and kissed his forehead before making her way back to her cot in the girls’ dormitory.

  Jenny was awakened early the next morning by a gentle nudge on her shoulder. She heard a bell tolling, counted six peals of the giant instrument before it echoed off into silence. A nun was in the room supervising the smaller girls as they washed their faces, combed their hair and struggled into their clothing in the dimly lit room. Jenny quickly dressed in her customary uniform—Jamie’s hand-me-down shirt and pants—and quickly brushed her hair into a single braid falling down her back. She splashed some cold water from the basin on her face and had started down the hall towards the wing Jamie was housed in wh
en the nun grabbed her arm.

  “Devotions are this way,” she said quietly. The younger girls were lined up in the hallway, waiting to be led to the chapel, and Jenny had no choice but to fall into line and follow along. The way was dimly lit, and the only sound was the echo of footsteps in the early morning air. They soon came to a chapel, and Jenny slid into the end of the pew that was shown to her by a frowning nun. A number of boys came in behind the girls, ranging in age from around six to sixteen. They were seated opposite the aisle from the girls, and it didn’t take Jenny long to realize that the sexes were always strictly segregated at the orphanage. There was a large boy sitting in the back and a small, wiry one next to him who seemed to be close to her age. She noticed the large boy giving her the once-over while the wiry one made comments into his ear. He was rewarded with a poke of a stick held by a nun, and they both turned their eyes forward, the large one rolling his eyes occasionally towards Jenny. She dismissed him from her mind and turned her attention to the goings-on in the front of the chapel.

  Father Clarence entered through a side door and began a series of rising and kneeling with what Jenny assumed was prayer in between, but she really couldn’t follow the sing-song sound of the words. All of the children quickly knelt and rose as if on cue, and Jenny’s awkward attempts to follow were greeted by a snicker from the large boy and his wiry friend. After what seemed like an eternity, the devotional time was over. Father Clarence was making his way down the aisle towards the back with Sister Mary Frances following behind. He stopped short when he got to Jenny’s pew, and a look of horror came over his face as he took in her clothing. The look of horror became one of rage, and Jenny actually felt herself shrinking in the man’s presence. Sister Mary Frances laid her hand on the priest’s arm and whispered in his ear, and the man turned on his heel and left. The sister held her hand out to Jenny and led her out of the chapel while the snickers of the two boys in the back rang in her ears.

  “You must dress like a young lady now that you are here,” the nun said to Jenny as they made their way down the hall.

  Jenny looked down at the clothing she had worn most of her days. “This is all I really have, except for the dress I was wearing yesterday. What’s wrong with what I have on? It’s what I always wear.”

  “It is unsuitable for a young lady to show her figure in such an unbecoming way. It will lead to sinful thoughts.”

  “I always thought it was more practical to dress this way,” Jenny retorted. The nun stopped and looked at her.

  “You’re not at home anymore; things are different here. You will have to learn to follow the rules if you are going to survive.” Jenny looked at the nun and saw the very serious expression on her face.

  “Survive what?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  “I’ll let you see your brother for a few minutes while I find you some clothes,” she said and took off down the hall. Jenny watched as she walked away, then fell into step behind her, determined that as soon as Jamie was better, they would be gone.

  Jamie was awake when she reached his room. He was turned away from the door, the bandaged side of his face showing white against the russet of his hair. Jenny walked around to where she could see him face to face.

  “Hey,” she said softly.

  “Hey,” he answered, his eyes barely moving. Jenny knelt down and folded her arms on the side of the bed. Jamie rubbed the surface of her bandaged arm, wincing as the damaged skin on his arm stretched.

  “Does it hurt much?” he asked.

  “Sometimes. I haven’t really thought about it.”

  “How did it happen?”

  “I fell out of the loft.”

  He managed a small smile at the thought of her tumbling out of the loft. Jenny noticed it and felt a leap in her heart as she returned it.

  “It seemed the quickest way down at the time,” she added, her lips turning up into a grin. Jamie tried to grin back, but the movement was painful and it ended as quickly as it had appeared.

  “I remember,” he said after a while.

  “What?”

  “Being on fire.”

  Jenny closed her eyes as the memories of his screams once again rang in her ears. “Don’t think about it. It’s over now,” she finally managed to say. She heard Sister Mary Frances enter the room and saw that she was holding up a skirt. “It seems that I don’t have the proper wardrobe for mission life,” she explained to Jamie as she took the skirt.

  “So what else is new?” Jenny stuck her tongue out at her brother as she quickly shed her pants and stepped into the skirt. It was a bit big around the waist, and only hit her at mid-calf, but the nun decided it was more presentable than what she had been wearing.

  “You must go on to breakfast and school,” the nun instructed her. “You won’t be assigned any chores until your arm has healed, so I have gotten permission to have you help here in the infirmary.” Jenny smiled gratefully at the nun. “Go on now. Come back here as soon as you are done with school.”

  Jenny gave her brother a quick kiss and ran off to breakfast, slowing her pace to a walk when a nun chastised her for making too much noise.

  Jenny ate a silent breakfast with the rest of the orphans, noticing that Father Clarence stared over his glasses at anyone who happened to make the slightest noise. Jenny wondered why the man had been put in charge of an orphanage when he so obviously hated children. She caught the large boy she’d noticed at devotions spying on her; and his wiry little friend was also looking her way. After breakfast she was led to a classroom where she was one of four students. The two who had been watching her were there along with another boy who was seated as far away from them as he could get.

  When the teacher began, Jenny realized that her education was way beyond what the class was working on. She dutifully did her work and waited while the others struggled with theirs. One boy, Marcus, seemed to be bright and finished right behind Jenny. The other two seemed to be more interested in ways they could aggravate Marcus rather than learning anything. The sister just went on with her lesson plan; she was either unaware of the shenanigans of the two or unable to stop them, so she just ignored them. Jenny decided that ignoring them was her best defense also, even when she felt a wad of paper hit the back of her head, followed by a snicker.

  “I hear you’ve got a brother in the infirmary,” the large boy said as he came up behind her when they were going to the dining room. “I heard he was burned up and doesn’t have any skin left on him.” Jenny stopped and turned, her right hand balled into a fist Surprised, the boy stopped so suddenly, the wiry one ran into him.

  “It only shows your ignorance when you talk of something you know nothing about,” Jenny hissed, her wide blue eyes mere slits in her face. The teacher, who had been walking in front of them, cleared her throat, stopping the large boy from pressing his attack. Jenny fell into step with Marcus as they made their way to the dining hall.

  “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone stand up to Logan,” Marcus whispered to her when they were a few steps ahead. He stole a look over his shoulder to make sure that the other two couldn’t hear him.

  “He’s just a big bully.”

  “Yes, and he gets away with it, too.”

  “Jamie will fix that when he’s better.”

  “Is he your brother?”

  “Yes, he’s my twin.”

  “I have a sister here. She’s six. Our parents were killed in an Indian attack when she was just a baby. My dad was a doctor.” Jenny looked at the boy as he gave her his entire history in one burst. He had sandy brown hair and kind brown eyes. She had seen a little girl who resembled him and decided to watch out for her.

  “Do you ever get to talk to your sister?”

  “I see her after school, and on Sundays we play together sometimes.” His voice trailed off as they reached the dining hall. They all ate lunch as silently as breakfast, then were allowed to go outside for some exercise, as Father Clarence called it. A ball was foun
d, and the smaller children went chasing after it. Logan and his wiry little friend, Joe, disappeared around a comer of the building. Jenny and Marcus sat down on the bench in the orchard, and Marcus told her about life in the mission, after Jenny briefly explained what had brought her there. A cute little girl with brown curls came running up, and Marcus introduced her as his sister Mary. He gave her a hug and she went back to her little group of friends. All too quickly they were summoned back to their classrooms.

  After what seemed an eternity, class was dismissed for the day. Jenny flew out the door and arrived at the infirmary to find Jamie sitting up in bed. He had been bathed, his hair washed and the ragged, burned ends trimmed.

  “We were waiting for you,” Sister Mary Frances said. “Your brother needs some help with his meal.” There was a tray holding a bowl of soup on the bedside table. Jenny sat down on the edge of the bed and placed the tray on her lap.

  “I can’t even manage a spoon right now.” Jamie was clearly disappointed in himself.

  “It’s because you’ve been flat on your back for a week. You’ll get your strength back soon enough, or at least you’d better.”

  “Why is that?” Jamie asked as Jenny raised the spoon to his mouth. Jenny looked around and saw that they had been left alone.

  “There’s someone here who needs to be taught a lesson, and you’re the only one big enough to do it.” She briefly told him about Logan, leaving out his remarks about Jamie.

  “It will be a while before I’ll be able to whip anything bigger than a kitten.” Jenny set the spoon down at his remark.

  “Oh, Jamie, I forgot about the kittens.”

  “What’s happened to our home?”

  “It’s going up for auction. There was still a mortgage on the property—I guess Dad borrowed against the land to build the house and barn. Gray Horse has the stock. He’s taking care of it until we can go back.”

  “Storm?”

  “I don’t know, he ran off. He went crazy when Dad was shot.” Jamie stopped her hand, which held another spoonful of soup.