Chase the Wind

by Cindy Holby - Wind 01 - Chase the Wind

  Chase knelt beside the pallet and laid his hand on Jenny’s cheek. Her eyelids fluttered open, the sapphire-blue eyes full of fear before they focused on Chase. “Am I dreaming?” she asked hesitantly.

  “No, you’re safe.” The words sounded real, but she had heard them before and then had realized they were lies when she saw the gentle, regal face of Chase dissolve into the harsh countenance of Mason as he pounded and pawed her body until she had wished desperately for death to take her away. Maybe if she slipped back into sleep, she would once again be held tightly in Chase’s arms, her hand feeling the pounding of his heart beneath the smooth skin of his chest. She closed her eyes, willing the bliss to overcome her again. “Jenny.” The voice was insistent but soft. “Jenny, you need to eat something.”

  Stay in your dreams where it’s safe, the voice inside her said, and she obeyed.

  It was the quiet that finally woke her. The peaceful stillness of the night had settled over the campsite, giving all who were in their bedrolls around the fire the rest they needed. Jenny’s eyes flew open, her brain trying desperately to orient itself. She became conscious of a wall to her left, but her arm was strapped down to her chest so she could not reach out and touch it. She shifted her head and saw that the wall was Jamie, lying on his side, facing her. Her eyes had become accustomed to the soft glow of the fire, and she realized that his face was covered with grime and soot, with a bit of blood mixed in. She wondered briefly where the blood had come from, he didn’t seem to be wounded anywhere. A slight movement caught her attention, and she turned the other way to find Chase facing her, his body lying between her and the fire. His face was a sharp contrast of light and dark, his high cheekbones catching the firelight. She was safe, she realized, away from the ranch and the horror that it had held for her. “Thank you, God,” she repeated over and over, grateful that she was alive. She tried to remember what had happened. She remembered the shots being fired, the look on Cat’s face, then Jamie’s when they found her. She looked at Chase, remembering his agonized calls as he was held away from her. “I couldn’t stand to see the look in your eyes,” she whispered.

  Jason had fixed her arm—she remembered the pain as he maneuvered it into place. Blessedly, that pain was gone, except for a dull ache. Her ankle was throbbing, and she wondered where her boots were. She knew she couldn’t walk, so it really didn’t matter except that they were comfortable and she hated to lose them. The pain between her legs had diminished, just leaving her feeling raw; she didn’t want to think about that.

  Jamie had placed her in Chase’s arms. She remembered the trembling she’d felt when he had hugged her, as if he was afraid she would break. Then the sight of Randolph Mason loomed up before her, his bleeding body exposed to all. You deserve worse, she had thought as she looked at him, and then his words had hit her.

  “It will be my face she sees when she closes her eyes.” Jenny shut her eyes, hoping to shut him out.

  And it will be his brand Chase sees when he looks at me, she realized. She squeezed her lids tightly, knowing she didn’t have the strength to cry. How can he love me when he’ll know, every time he looks at me, that Mason had me, that he had me first. Her mind was racing as she imagined the rejection, the hurt in his beautiful dark eyes. Jenny brought her clenched fist up to her mouth, biting it to keep from crying out and disturbing the sleep of the two who protected her.

  Chase stirred, disturbed by a dream. He rolled on his back and began talking in his sleep, the words slurred and running together, his face agitated, his brow drawn down in a frown. Jenny ran her hand across his forehead, and he quieted instantly, his face clear and peaceful once again. His blanket had fallen away, and she reached to pull it up, but a spark caught her eye.

  Beside him on his pallet was his knife—her father’s knife; he always slept with it next to him, relying more on it than the gun he wore. Jenny eased it off the blanket, holding her breath as she pulled it away from his side. When she had it in her hand, she sat up, using her left hand, which was strapped to her chest, to pull the knife out of its sheath. She looked at the fire. It was well banked, more coals than flames, ready to be blown into life again when morning came.

  If only I could walk, she thought, knowing there was no way she could raise herself up with only one arm and one leg functioning. She eased down her blanket, scooting along on her bottom, awkwardly unbalanced, checking after each movement to make sure she hadn’t woken Chase or Jamie, who was now on his back snoring away. The sound he was making would either cover her movements or wake the dead, she wasn’t sure which. When she reached the end of Chase’s long legs, she managed to get up on her knees and crawled with the knife held tightly in her hand. She needed to get the blade into the fire, it was just ahead, and she shifted the knife to her good hand and reached out to lay it on the coals.

  Before she could do so, the knife went flying out of her hand, landing behind her, point stuck in the earth, the blade quivering. Her hand stung from the impact, and she pulled it to her, rubbing it with the bound hand as she slumped into a sitting position. She looked up to see Chase kneeling before her, his eyes shooting silver sparks as he looked down at her shocked face.

  “What are you doing?” His voice was low and even, as if talking to a wild animal. Jenny pushed her untidy braid over her shoulder as she looked at him with wide, scared eyes. She looked over at the knife that was planted in the ground, the blade taking on a copper cast from the glow of the coals. Chase reached around her and returned the blade to its sheath, firmly, daring her to try to take it again. He turned where he knelt and placed it under his blanket and then turned back to Jenny. Chase saw Jason’s eyes on them from across the fire, but luckily no one else was awake. Chase placed his hands on Jenny’s arms and pulled her to him. “I love you,” he whispered against her hair. Jenny nodded and let him hold her, to drained to do anything else. She felt like a rag doll in his arms, and just rested there, accepting his arms around her but not responding in any way. Chase slid his arms under her and laid her on his blanket, then wrapped his arms tightly around her as he pulled the filthy quilt over them. Jenny shut her eyes and fell into a troubled sleep, but it was a long time before Chase slept, the image of her leaning over the fire with the knife in her hand still haunted him.

  Chase said nothing about the incident with the knife when they awakened the next morning. Jenny did as she was told, letting Jamie carry her to a private place where Cat could help her with her morning routine. Cat was sympathetic without being morose and even managed to get a smile out of Jenny, which quickly ended when her lip split and started bleeding. Jamie handed her over to Chase when they were ready to leave. Jenny knew better than to argue by the look on Chase’s face, so she just laid her head on his shoulder and relaxed for the ride.

  Later that morning a fever overtook her and they debated whether they should search the nearest town for a doctor, but Jenny roused enough to say she wanted to go home, so they pressed on. Her temperature continued to rise, eventually soaking the two of them with her sweat. The night was spent trying to cool her down while listening to her ravings about Mason, which sent Jamie off into the darkness, unable to stand it any longer. She quieted towards morning and settled down into a deep sleep; she didn’t even stir when they broke camp in the morning.

  Chase had spent the night sitting by her side and making a sled for her to ride in behind her horse. He placed her on it, wrapped in the quilt when it was time to leave. Except for a few soft murmurs, she could have been dead. They hoped to make it home by nightfall, so Zane and Jake were sent ahead to prepare Grace and have the doctor waiting when they arrived. It was a haggard group that rode into the yard late that night, their worry over Jenny showing clearly on their faces.

  Grace was waiting, a bed ready in her cabin where Jenny was placed by Chase, who looked at the doctor with a face full of worry, great dark circles under his eyes.

  “I don’t think she moved all day,” he said as the doctor bent to examine her.
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  “She’s feverish,” the doctor said, and the group watching from the doorway rolled their eyes at that revelation. The doctor looked around at the worried faces and decided that they needed to go and leave him to his work. He cleared the room except for Grace and Cat, who stripped Jenny of her clothes and gave her a much-needed bath when the doctor was through.

  When they had Jenny settled in a clean nightgown and under warm blankets, the doctor left with instructions to send for him if there was any change. Grace gathered up the bundle of torn clothes and the filthy quilt and carried them to the kitchen, where everyone was gathered around the table. Chase went in to Jenny as soon as Grace came out.

  “Caleb, take this mess out and burn it,” she said as she dropped the mess into his arms.

  “No!” Jamie shouted, startling them all. Jamie snatched the quilt from Caleb’s hands. “This was our mother’s.” The look on his face was desperate as he pulled the quilt against his chest. He looked at Grace, his eyes full of despair.

  Grace looked up into the deep blue of his eyes and gently took the quilt from his hands. “I’ll wash it tomorrow and then I’ll put it on Jenny’s bed, I promise.”

  Jamie shoved his hair back out of his eyes and nodded wearily. His head fell forward as he fought the waves of anguish that threatened to overtake him. Grace took his arm and led him to the door. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll fix you something to eat.” Jamie let her lead him out the door, too tired to argue about anything. “The rest of you go on too. You’re not doing anybody any good sitting around here.” There was the scraping of chairs and the shuffling of feet as the group obeyed her commands.

  Grace followed Jason out on the porch after everyone had left and leaned against the door frame.

  “What do you think?” he asked as he looked up at the stars peeping out in the night sky.

  Grace sighed and pulled her shawl close against the chill of the night air. “I think she’s lucky to be alive, but she doesn’t know it yet.” She walked over to him. “Did you see what that animal did to her?”

  “Yes.” Jason scrubbed a hand over his face. “And when I’m able, I’ll tell you what Chase did to that animal.”

  The sounds of the night filled the silence that came between them. “Do you think she’ll recover?” Jason asked after a while.

  “That depends.”

  “On what?”

  “On whether or not that bastard got her pregnant.” Grace’s voice broke on the words, and she held her hand to her mouth, determined not to cry. Jason looked at her in shock, he had not had time to think about the long-term consequences in the rush to get Jenny home.

  “How long?”

  “I don’t know, three weeks, a month. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

  Jason reached out and squeezed Grace’s hand as he stepped off the porch. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Grace pulled her shawl up around her chin as she watched Jason disappear into the darkness. It was still late summer, but the air held the promise of a cool autumn, which meant a harsh winter would follow. Jamie came around the cabin, his hair dripping from his hasty shower. Grace was eye level with him as he walked up to where she was standing on the porch. He wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head against her breast, something he’d never dared do out in the open before. Grace wrapped her arms around him and felt the trembling in his shoulders. “She saved my life,” he said against her chest. A sob tore at him, and he fought to hold it in.

  “She will be all right,” Grace soothed him.

  Jamie shook his head against her. “How can she be?”

  “Because she’s strong, and we love her.” Grace gently pulled his face up so she could look into his eyes. His dark lashes were wet with tears, and he tried to blink them away, but they fell to his cheek. Grace rubbed them away with her fingertips. “You need to be strong now, she needs to know that you’re here for her. Go sit with her and talk to her. Let her know that you need her to get better.”

  “She might not, just to make me mad.”

  “So make her mad enough to get better just to spite you.” Jamie managed a slight grin at the thought.

  Chase was half asleep in a chair when Grace and Jamie came in. Jenny’s hand was lying lightly in his on top of the blanket. He was instantly alert, a lethal look on his face until he realized there was no threat at hand. Grace laid a calming hand on his shoulder. “Chase, go get cleaned up, get some rest. You’ll not do Jenny any good like this.”

  “I can’t leave her.”

  “We’ll take care of her, now go on.” Chase did not move. “If you want, you can sleep here on the floor. Just get cleaned up first. I could smell all of you coming hours before you got here.” There was a flash of humor in his eyes as he rose to obey.

  “I’ll be back with my blankets,” he promised as he left.

  “Bring mine, too,” Jamie asked. Chase nodded in agreement as he left.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jenny was in hell, she had to be, because it was so hot. She was burning up, but she wouldn’t let go of the blanket that she held tightly against her, because she did not want anyone to see her shame. Randolph Mason was there also, a sure indication that it must be hell, and he was tormenting her, trying to pull the blanket away so everyone could see his mark. She slapped his hands away just to find them on her again, pulling at her, constantly snatching at her, taking handfuls of hair, skin and blanket every time she pushed him away. Just leave me alone, she cried in her mind. Please, just leave me alone. But he only laughed, the same laugh she had heard the night her parents died, the same laugh he had used as he pounded her without mercy in her parents’ bed. “Just let me die,” she sobbed, but she must already be dead, because she was in hell.

  Grace wrung out the cloth that covered Jenny’s forehead. The cool cloths were drying almost as soon as she put them on, and Jenny’s restless movements made it hard to keep them in place. “Let me die,” Jenny said. Grace had to put her ear against Jenny’s mouth to hear, her voice was so weak.

  “No, we won’t let you die,” Grace said into Jenny’s burning hot ear. Grace felt Chase standing beside her, the dim light of the lantern dancing on his wide bare chest and making his face disappear into the darkness.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “She’s dreaming.”

  Chase sat on the edge of the bed and picked up Jenny’s hand. It fluttered against his like a baby bird, too weak to make it on its own. He brought the hand to his lips and laid his other hand against her cheek. “Jenny?” he said softly. “I’m here, you’re not alone anymore.” She turned her face into his hand. It was almost as if she was breathing it in, then she turned away from it, fighting once again with the demons that only she could see.

  “I hear you Chase, but I can’t find you.” In her mind she was screaming, but the words came out a whisper. Mason wouldn’t let her find him; he kept pulling her back into the furnace that was burning her alive.

  “Jenny, I love you,” Chase said.

  “Y can’t, don’t you see? You won’t want to,” Jenny cried as she slid into the heat.

  “Keep talking to her so she can find her way back,” Grace said as she placed a cool cloth on her forehead.

  “Jenny!” Chase was calling her, she could hear him but she couldn’t answer, because she didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, so she stayed in hell, holding the blanket close and begging Mason to leave her alone.

  “Maybe we should take the blanket off, she’s so hot,” Chase suggested.

  Grace smoothed the blanket over Jenny’s chest, noting the death grip that her hands had on it. “I don’t think it would help.”

  Jenny kept on fighting Mason, even though she was so very tired. The light was too bright, it was burning through her eyelids, she needed to turn away, but even thinking about moving her head made her cringe. She just didn’t have the energy. Block it out, Jenny thought and managed to raise her hand and cover her eyes. She felt the st
rong, gentle touch of another hand as it smoothed back her unruly hair, and her eyelids fluttered.

  “Welcome back,” said a deep voice, as smooth as velvet. The light was shining in the window behind his head, but she knew it was Chase, because her heart jumped when he spoke to her. Jenny made a face at the light and she heard his laughter, and then the room was dark again. “Is that better?” he asked as he pulled her hand down.

  Chase’s face was etched with worry, but a slight smile touched it as he realized that the worst was over. Jenny had beaten the fever that had consumed her for the past several days. She was weak, however, that was obvious just by looking at her. The hand that had covered her face was almost transparent, and her skin had lost its golden glow. A few days in the sun and a few good meals should get her healthy again, he mused, but he was saddened when she turned away from him.

  Chase had thrown her mother’s quilt over the window. It framed him perfectly as he stood by the side of the bed, looking wonderful. Jenny wanted so much to feel his arms around her. She still remembered how he had held her in front of him on his horse, but it was best to put such memories behind her, best for the both of them. Her ordeal had affected him, she could tell by the lines around his eyes, and there was a sadness there also. She recognized it from when they had first met, when his mother had been killed. She had to turn away before he could see inside her. She knew that he could look into her eyes and know everything, and she couldn’t stand it. He must never know what Mason had done to her, how he had branded her. It was better to let him think she did not want him because she was afraid to be with him, than to have him turn away from her in disgust.