Chase the Wind

by Cindy Holby - Wind 01 - Chase the Wind

  “But it matters to me.”

  Jamie reached out and pulled her next to him, wrapping his long arms around her in a circle that held her tightly.

  “Jenny, if you let this keep the two of you apart, then Mason has won, and I won’t let what you did to save me ruin the rest of your life. I’m not worth it.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “I mean it, because if you are not going to marry Chase, then I wish you had just let them burn me that day, because I love the two of you more than anything in this world, and I want you to be happy. How could I live knowing that because of me, you aren’t?”

  “But it’s not because of you. It’s because of Mason.” Jenny’s voice began to tighten as she tried not to cry.

  “So you’re going to let him win. I can’t believe that you, of all people, would let him beat you like that. What happened to my incredibly stubborn sister who wouldn’t give up, no matter what?”

  Jenny pushed away from his embrace. “I’m not going to win this argument, am I?”

  “No.” Jamie grinned at her. “Both of your answers are wrong. I’m right, and if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll enjoy being right for a while.” Jenny wiped some tears away, then smacked his arm. Jamie tugged on her braid, then pulled her back again for a hug. “So let’s see what kind of food Grace put in that sack and then we’ll go back and check out the cabin, okay?” Jenny nodded and Jamie whistled his horse over to grab the sack looped over the saddle horn. They snacked on cornbread and apples and enjoyed the warmth of the day for a while.

  “So what about you and Grace?” Jenny asked when they were on their way back.

  “There isn’t a me and Grace anymore.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since I broke my leg. It kind of changed things between us. It just wasn’t right after that.”

  “Oh.” Jenny looked over at his handsome face, the scar white against the bronze of his skin.

  “Don’t worry about me, I’ll find someone.” Jamie grinned at her. “Zane said he’ll fix me up.”

  Jenny rolled her eyes. “I’m sure he knows some wonderful ladies.”

  “Ladies of the evening, you mean.”

  “I’m not sure you could actually call them ladies.”

  “I don’t think they care what you call them, as long as you pay them.” They erupted into laughter that carried them the rest of the way back.

  Jamie stopped his horse in front of the cabin, grinning encouragingly at Jenny as she reined in beside him. They heard voices inside and stepped through the door to find Jason talking with Chase about the changes in the cabin. Chase was leaning against a wall, with his thumbs hooked into the top of his pants. There was a wide streak of dirt across his bare chest and down one cheek. He looked up when Jamie’s frame filled the door of the one-room cabin, then a smile lit his face as Jenny stepped in behind him. Jason turned and lifted an eyebrow in surprise as Jenny shyly stood in the doorway.

  “I was just telling Chase that the place hasn’t looked this good in the past thirty years.” Jason motioned towards the stone fireplace that filled one wall. “You’ll never lack for warmth when you have this going. I remember my first winter here—I thought I would freeze to death, but I stayed very warm in here, even brought my horse in to stay with me.”

  “Looks like it would have been a bit crowded for that,” Jamie commented.

  “Jason’s horse probably wasn’t much bigger than you.” Jenny jabbed an elbow in his side to move him out of her way. Chase’s eyes began to glow like coals as she came into the center of the room, while Jamie pretended to be sorely injured from Jenny’s elbow.

  “Well,” Jason began, “I haven’t had a look at those mares lately. How ‘bout we go check them out, Jamie?”

  “Sounds good to me. It’s a bit too crowded in here for my taste.” Jamie grinned mischievously at Chase before he turned and left, followed by Jason, who gave Jenny’s arm a gentle squeeze on his way out.

  “Well, what do you think?” Chase asked when they were alone. Jenny looked around the empty room. It was large enough for two to live comfortably. One wall was taken up by the stone fireplace, with a corner cupboard built in beside it. On either side of the door were windows, and another window was situated opposite the fireplace wall. The back wall was solid, except for a small door that led to a privy that had been filled in years before.

  “I guess it could use some furniture,” Jenny said as she turned around in the center of the room.

  “Yes, Jason and I were just talking about that. He seems to think he can scrounge some up from somewhere.”

  “Whatever he scrounges from his house will be much too elegant for this.” Jenny laughed as she imagined an elegant cherry table sitting in a corner of the cabin.

  “Would you rather live in a house like Jason’s?” Chase looked out the window as he asked, suddenly afraid of what her answer might be.

  “I was never comfortable in that house, as fine as it is. That’s why I haven’t moved back up there since . . . since we got back.” Chase turned to look at her again, a spark igniting inside as he saw Jenny standing before him, her nose and cheeks pink from the sun, her braid a bit untidy from her ride.

  “Would you be comfortable here?”

  “I’d live in a tent, as long as you were there, too.”

  Chase felt his heart flip-flop in his chest and he took a step forward. Easy, he thought, don’t scare her, but he couldn’t stop himself from taking another step, then another, until he was standing right in front of her. A set of wide sapphire-blue eyes looked up at him, eyes brimming with her soul, offering up everything to him in one unguarded moment. “Jenny,” he whispered, and she was in his arms.

  Chase couldn’t hold her tight enough. He had been holding himself back for so long, and suddenly here she was, trembling in his arms. He wrapped his hands in her hair. She raised her face, her lips slightly parted. He couldn’t help himself, he lowered his mouth to hers, trying to hold back, desperate not to scare her, but desperate at the same time to have her. His kiss was tentative, searching, exploring. She did not resist, so he pressed on, his hand holding the back of her head, the other moving down her spine, pressing against her, holding her solidly against him, and she answered him, a slight gasp escaping as her lips parted further and his tongue moved inside. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t stop, he could feel himself growing hard against her thighs, and she still did not move away. Her hands moved over the bare skin of his back, kneading the muscles as she tried to find a hold on his smooth flesh, her hands tangling in his hair as she stroked the length of his spine.

  He finally pulled away, dragging in air as he tilted his forehead against hers. His hands held her face as he sought to restore balance to his spinning world.

  “Do you still want me?” she asked, her eyes downcast as she leaned against him.

  “What do you think?” He moved his hands down her back and pushed her body against his.

  “I know you want me,”—Jenny pushed him away, seeing the playful light in his eyes—”but do you want me like before?”

  “I never stopped. I just wanted you to be sure.”

  Jenny put her hands up to his lips to stop him. “Then you need to know what you are getting.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You need to know about Mason.”

  “You don’t need to tell—”

  Her fingers touched his lips again, and she stepped back and began to unbutton her shirt. “I want you to know, and if you can’t stand it, I’ll understand. I’ll leave and I won’t blame you.”

  “Jenny—”

  “Stay there, please.” Jenny pulled her shirt open and pulled down the top of her camisole, turning her head away as she did so. She heard his sharp intake of breath, felt him step closer, willed herself not to tremble as he looked at the scar, still red and angry against the soft gold of her skin.

  “That son of a bitch.” His words were low and angry, and Jenny felt a chill go up
her spine. “He died too easy.” His voice broke on the words, and she turned to look at him, her hand still holding the fabric of the camisole. His eyes were smoldering, and she saw once again the image of Mason hanging on the fence, and wondered what it had been like for him to see death in Chase’s flinty gaze, to know that it was coming. She hoped it was pure hell; she wished she could have watched.

  Chase took her hand down and eased the fabric back into place, his fingertips barely brushing the skin as he covered the scar; the welt showed though the fine fabric. Jenny’s eyes were moist as she looked at him. Her fear, her secret and her soul were laid bare before him.

  “I love you.” He was screaming with rage inside, but he had to hold it in, he would not frighten her with it. “I love you, Jenny. I want you with me, forever.” His hand caressed her cheek, but it ached to hold his knife, to feel Mason squirm beneath it. She melted against him, tears of relief bursting forth, soaking the skin of his chest, running through the dirt that streaked that broad expanse. He held her as she cried, and his rage dissolved, becoming nothing as she grieved against him for the part of her that was gone forever. “We’ll be fine, Jenny. I promise, as long as we’re together, we’ll be fine.”

  “We will?” she squeaked against his chest. Chase laughed because she sounded so funny, and he knew that he was soaking wet from her tears.

  “Oh, Jenny.” He pulled her against him, picking her up off her feet. “Marry me now, and we’ll have dozens of babies and send them all to pester their Uncle Jamie so we can make more.”

  The word babies hit Jenny like a bucket of cold water. Her mind went back and began counting days.

  “Jenny?”

  “Oh, God,” she said, her face going white. Time, how much time? Her mind whirled as Chase’s dark eyes filled with concern. Not enough, her mind answered.

  “Jenny, what is it?”

  “I have to go,” she sobbed. She pushed his hands away as he tried to stop her. “Please, I have to go.” She ran out of the cabin to her horse, which was still standing outside.

  “Jenny!” Chase was on the stoop as she mounted, the horse already in motion as she swung into the saddle with the same fluid motion that came naturally to Jamie and Chase. Chase spun around and punched the wall, hitting a board that needed replacing; the wood splintered around his hand, piercing the skin in many places.

  Grace had heard Chase calling, had seen Jenny’s flight from the ranch, and came running when she saw Chase holding one hand in the other, blood trickling from the wounds.

  “What happened?” she asked as she wrapped her apron around his hand.

  “I don’t know.” He ran his other hand through his hair. “I thought everything was fine . . . she was happy . . . she wasn’t scared, and suddenly she just bolted.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told her I loved her, I wanted to marry her and make babies.”

  “Oh, Chase.”

  Chase looked at her in exasperation, and Grace pulled him down beside her on the stoop. She pulled her apron away and placed his hand firmly in her lap and began to work on a splinter.

  “What did I say that was so wrong? I thought everything was out now. She showed me what Mason did, and I told her it didn’t matter, that I loved her.” Grace held the splinter up and flicked it into the yard. “Grace?”

  Grace pulled -his hand firmly in hers, holding on to it tightly. “Chase, what if Jenny is pregnant?”

  His dark eyes grew wide, and he looked off in the direction Jenny had gone. “Is she?”

  “I don’t know, and from what just happened, I don’t think she knows either. It’s been almost three weeks since it happened, but I don’t know what her cycle is like. It’s not something we discuss.” Grace kept her tight hold on his hand, knowing he could pull away at any time but hoping he wouldn’t. “What if she is?”

  “I love her. I’ve always loved her, since the first time I saw her.”

  “Do you love her enough?”

  “Yes.” He did not hesitate, did not stop to think. His heart spoke for him. “Yes, I love her.”

  “Go find her and tell her before she does something foolish.”

  Chase snatched up his shirt and started for the barn, but before he had gone ten steps, Jenny came riding into the valley. She reined up in front of the cabin and waited as Chase walked to her horse.

  “Jamie was right—I always try to run away from my problems. The trouble is, no matter how far I run, I’ll never be able to leave this one behind.” The tears were gone, replaced by a steely resolve in the depths of her eyes. “I won’t let him win,” she said simply. Chase reached up, and she let him take her from the saddle, sliding down the length of him to be encircled in his arms.

  “Do you know for sure?”

  “No, not yet,”

  “Then we’ll take it as it comes.” Chase placed his hands on Jenny’s face, turning her eyes up to meet his own, showing her that there was nothing to fear.

  Five days later, they had the answer to their question. Jenny bolted out of the cabin that morning, heading straight for the barn to saddle her horse. Chase and Jamie were out checking the herd, which had been taken to the winter pasture a few weeks earlier. Her joy was contagious when she had discovered that there were no more problems to stand in their way, that she and Chase could now plan to have the life they had wanted before, without the complications that Randolph Mason had wished on them. She covered the ground quickly, letting her horse have his head, enjoying the sweet smell of the day, the clear blue of the sky and the glorious colors that covered the mountains beyond. She finally spied a russet head towering above a sea of sweet grass, and close beside it a darker head, both bent at some task.

  They had just freed a cow from a gopher hole when she rode up. The cow had stepped in the hole, and the ground around it had caved in, taking both of her forelegs down and leaving her dangling half in and half out. She wasn’t hurt, just unable to get any leverage until Chase and Jamie dragged her back enough to get her feet underneath her. She ran off with a loud bawl of hurt feelings and embarrassment and joined the rest of the herd. Jamie and Chase were laughing over the cow’s antics as they stomped the side of the hole to make sure it wouldn’t cause any more problems. They heard Jenny’s horse and looked at each other questioningly as she came flying up, then stopped so suddenly that her horse nearly sat down. She vaulted off and hit Chase squarely in the chest, so he toppled over and hit the ground with a solid “ooof,” with Jenny on top of him.

  “I’m not pregnant.” She was smiling down at him, her hair a golden cloud around them. Chase was speechless for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her, laughing for pure joy.

  “Would someone mind telling me what’s going on?” Jamie demanded.

  “I’m not pregnant.”

  “Well I should hope not. You’re not even married yet. Oh . . . oh, I see.” He began to stumble over the words and then his wide grin split his face. “Well, congratulations, I think.” Jenny’s laughter bubbled up from within, and she laid her head on Chase’s chest as they were both consumed with mirth. Jamie stood watching them for a minute, scratching his head, then just walked away.

  “As much as I’m enjoying this,” Chase said after their laughter had subsided and they had shared a long lazy kiss, “I do need to get back to work.”

  Jenny did not seem inclined to move. She was enjoying the view of his regal face; he was totally relaxed for once, at peace with the world around him. His eyes were dark slits against the sun, his silky hair spread out around him on the grass, and his mouth wore a contented smile. He put his arms under his head when he saw Jenny wasn’t budging and he decided to enjoy the moment. Jenny picked a blade of grass and tickled his ears with it, then began to torture his nose, while Chase tried to keep a straight face. He finally gave up and got his revenge by tickling her stomach, throwing her off in a single movement and pinning her beneath him. Her joy was overflowing, her laughter rang out over the grass until Jamie came
stomping back, complaining about having to do all the work. Chase led her to her horse and helped her mount after another long kiss, then went back to help Jamie fill in the hole. Jenny turned her horse to go and noticed that Chase had left his gun belt and knife looped over his saddle horn. She snatched the knife from its sheath as she rode by, knowing that by the time he realized it was gone, the deed would be done.

  Grace’s cabin was empty when she got back. The fire in the stove had been banked, and Jenny threw a few pieces of kindling in to get the flames going. When the fire had kicked up, she laid the blade in the coals, and unbuttoned her shirt. There was a wooden spoon on the counter. She tested the strength of if by striking it against the counter, and then satisfied, put it in her mouth, placing the handle firmly between her teeth. The blade of the knife was glowing red when she pulled it from the flames, and she took a deep breath as she pulled her camisole down away from the R M that was scrawled across her left breast. She laid the hot metal of the blade over the scar, obliterating the detested initials as it burned her skin. The pain made her stagger back, and she bit down hard on the spoon, crashing against a chair and falling backwards on the floor of the cabin, the blade still gripped in her hand. Tears stung her eyes as her nerve endings screamed, and blood began to seep down her breast. She spit the spoon out, the handle mangled by her teeth, and drew in a long, ragged breath. Jenny heard Grace’s light footsteps on the porch and tried to sit up, but only succeeded in knocking the chair over.

  Grace opened the door of the cabin and was immediately assaulted by the smell of burning flesh. “Oh my God, Jenny, what happened?” She was on the floor next to her at once, but Jenny pushed her away and scooted back until she was sitting against the wall. “What did you do?”

  “Is it gone?” Jenny asked, afraid to look.

  Grace looked at her with shocked eyes, her mouth agape as the reality of what Jenny had done hit her. Chase’s knife was still gripped tightly in her hand, and Grace gently pried her fingers from the handle before she could do any more damage.