Remember Me

by Roxanne Tully

  Matt immediately pulled over to an empty space that clearly signaled NO PARKING. He glanced in the rearview mirror, put the break on and leaned over her. Concern and panic all over his face. “Are you alright?”

  She flushed with embarrassment. “Oh, um…yes. I’m sorry. It was just the road. I don’t know why that scared me.”

  Matt sighed and glanced outside the windshield. “No. I’m sorry. I should have warned you about the road.” He straightened after a short moment and proceeded slowly down the road, then parking again just before the intersection of a paved main street. It appeared that only the side streets were cobblestoned. Matt quickly glanced at her before jumping out and coming around the front of the vehicle to open her door.

  “Thank you.” She took his hand. She didn’t trust herself on the uneven street. His hand felt warm and right underneath hers.

  “Come on.” He nodded up the road. “We’re going this way.” The street held an array of stores, all very different but somehow belonging in this charming town.

  “Where are we?”

  “Landon’s Point. It’s the collection of shops by the water and your favorite place to visit—when we’re at my parents’ beach house, at least.”

  They continued down the street and Liz couldn’t keep her eyes from drifting to every person passing them. Hoping that a familiar face might trigger something. Dr. Tai said that sometimes seeing someone or something that came across your life once can bring on a memory. He compared it to having a full-length dream the same night you heard a quick mention of something. A few headless mannequins were dressed behind store windows. One wore a dark sequined dress, with tasseled sleeves and skirt hem. Liz scrunched her nose and sincerely hoped this wasn’t her style.

  “Is this something I would wear?” she asked, cringing her face.

  Matt chuckled. “No,” he reassured. Then took her hand and pulled her to the next window. “This is something you would wear.”

  He pointed to another mannequin wearing a button-down white blouse with gold pearl-like buttons, and a blue mini skirt with a gold zip. It was elegant with just the right amount of color.

  A few minutes later Matt stopped at a small eatery, with two wide open double wooden doors. The doors allowed just enough room for a square table for two to fit in between each one.

  “I’m sure you’re sick of hospital food, so I thought we’d eat here. You’ll love this place.”

  Liz wondered if Matt meant that she did love this place when they’d come here, but was being sensitive to her condition. “Okay.” Was all she replied.

  Matt held Liz’s hand and addressed the girl at the podium. “Two please.”

  “Of course, right this way.” The slim dark-haired hostess grabbed two menus from her station and walked them to one of the outdoor tables.

  “So what do I like?” she asked after scanning a few options on the menu.

  He didn’t take his eyes off the menu and shrugged. “How would I know, I just met you.”

  Liz’s eyes widened and felt her face flushed before registering the huge grin and wink that peeked from behind his menu. She relaxed and laughed. Then wondered if he was going to make any more jokes like that.

  He gave a short laugh and tossed both their menus on the table and signaled the waitress. He leaned in close. The table was so small that she could smell his minty breath when he spoke. “I wasn’t really looking at the menu,” he whispered. “We usually get the same things here.” He pulled back, winked at her again and ordered.

  * * *

  Hours later, after the sun had set, they drove for some time in what was a relatively quiet ride. Liz could have sworn she’d noticed a few extra turns. Which made her wonder if the day out on the town was because Matt was just as nervous taking her home as she was to go there. He slowed and pulled into a quaint development with cookie-cutter low rise buildings lined up along the reserved street. Matt occupied one of two empty parking spots with the SUV. He breathed deep and glanced at her before jumping out.

  Matt told her they lived on the highest floor of the four-story complex. There were only two units on that floor, and they were both large duplexes.

  The elevator doors on the fourth floor opened to an opulently lit corridor that was covered in glossy marble-like walls. The light in the hall wasn’t harsh, but bright. There were two large double doors on the opposite side of the elevator and two evenly sized chandeliers hung from the tall ceiling. Liz stepped out of the elevator and paused. She waited to see if she would go on autopilot and approach the right door.

  Nothing.

  She felt a hand on her lower back just before he slipped beside her to guide her to the double doors on the far right.

  Seconds later Matt flicked on the lights to reveal a first glance at their home. The apartment was long rather than lofty. It stretched and extended on both ends of the living room, which was furnished with contemporary furniture. An ash-gray, tufted sofa and matching chair sat against the far left of the living room, with endless amounts of white throw pillows evenly dispersed. A burnt orange throw rested on the side of the chair. There was no television. Just a coffee table, a glossy grand piano on the far right and french doors opposite the entry door.

  She stepped in to see what the french doors led to and then suddenly stopped and stared at the shiny hardwood floor.

  “Umm…do I take my shoes off?”

  “Usually,” he answered. He placed his keys in a small vintage-looking silver bowl that was placed on a blue-painted side table by the front door. A gold accented mirror was placed directly over it. Liz considered it to be an odd choice of decorating, she guessed she had once made.

  He followed her to the double doors that Liz was curious about. She pulled back the sheer white curtains and peeked through, but only saw pitch blackness and her reflection.

  “The balcony,” he stated. “It’s not big, but it’s a peaceful view of the back of the development. There’s a lot of trees and land back there, which is why you won’t see any streetlights, but I heard that might change over the next few years.”

  Matt showed her the kitchen, which is where the left side of the living room extended to, following a small hallway. There was a large island and enormous cabinet space. She assumed the right side led to a den of some sort but was too tired to keep touring.

  There was a short stairwell that led to the units’ bedrooms and baths. They creaked slightly as they climbed.

  Matt stepped in front of her and reached for the first door on the left. Liz stepped in to take in the room’s décor. Silver drapes hung from under a fairly high ceiling and covering the tall double-paned windows. The walls were primarily a light tint of gray other than the darker shade that covered the wall opposite the bed. Against the wall, was a small white loveseat with a pale blue throw and ivory pillow. Finally, across from the love seat, was a king-sized bed with a large gray tufted headboard. A dark gray comforter lay folded down partially to reveal pale blue cotton sheets. Until now, Liz was dreading being in this room. But at that moment, it felt cozy and homey. She was starting to feel less out of place.

  She noticed Matt had given her some time to take in the room. “This is our bedroom?” she asked, almost as if it was a statement.

  “Yes, I had Gladys, that’s our cleaning lady, freshen up the sheets and clean up in here so you’d be comfortable.”

  “Thank you. It’s really lovely.”

  “I should hope so, you decorated.” He gave a half smile.

  She looked away and to the bed. Suddenly feeling very nervous.

  “If you need anything, I’ll just be in the next room.”

  Her brows snapped together. “Next room?”

  He pulled himself away from the side of the door and approached her. His voice lower. “Yeah, I just want you to be comfortable. But please come get me if you need anything.” He placed his hands over her shoulders.

  “Thank you.” Although she was grateful for his hospitality, and slightly relieved fro
m the pressure she was feeling a few moments ago, she couldn’t help but admit her disappointment.

  He gave her a small smile. “Good night,” he said, before dimming her light slightly and disappearing into the dark hallway.

  Chapter 13

  MATT

  The smoky aroma of coffee filled the kitchen. Matt didn’t care for coffee too much, but Liz couldn’t get through a morning without one. With the spacious kitchen and abundant cabinet space, Liz had reserved one for different types of coffee. Smooth, hard, Columbian, French Roast, it was always there and somehow constantly running low. He poured about half a cup for himself, tossed in one cube of sugar and pulled out a spoon from the drawer. The clinking of the metallic utensil triggered an image.

  Liz standing behind the counter at his parent’s beach house. She stirs her coffee lightly and dazes into the cup. Her eyes red and distant. She avoids his stare.

  Matt shook the image from his head as Liz walked into the kitchen.

  “Hi.” Her voice was flat and her features couldn’t be read.

  “Good morning.” He managed to smile. Although he deathly missed hers. He pulled away from the counter. “Uh…I made coffee.”

  “Okay.” She glanced at the second mug sitting by the machine.

  He poured her a steamy cup and she took it.

  “How did you sleep?” A question she had to guess he’d ask.

  “It was very comfortable. Thank you.” She glanced around uneasily. “But you know I can stay in the guest room if you’d prefer to sleep in your own bed.” She shrugged. “I mean it doesn’t make a difference to me.”

  He couldn’t understand why, but her words hurt him. As if she didn’t even want to try. He shook it off. “I think it would be good for you to sleep in your bedroom. You don’t have to think of it as our room. At least not yet,” he added.

  “Thank you.” She nodded once. But the look on her face suggested she was simply being polite.

  She’s probably wondering why you don’t want to sleep with her.

  The sour look on her face cut into his thoughts.

  “Ugh. Coffee must be your thing,” she grimaced, pouring the rest out into the sink. “Do you have any tea?”

  He didn’t correct her. It wasn’t his mission to point out the differences between his Liz and post-accident Liz. Contrary to what the doctor had told him, he thought it’d be too soon to start guiding her to who she is and what she liked. If she preferred tea, she’d be getting tea.

  He carried their breakfast to the balcony, where, although small, fit a round table and two chairs comfortably. They didn’t have many plants out there since most of their view was a forest of trees, plants and grass. Instead, they filled the space with pottery and a few outdoor fixtures.

  “So how did we meet?” she asked after a few small bites of her eggs. She tried to sound casual, but Matt could tell she was curious about their relationship, and how it began. And if he had to guess, why they were married.

  Matt glanced at her and then put his fork down, reaching for his mug. They used to love telling the story of how they met to anyone who asked. About a week ago, it had become a story he almost wished had never happened.

  Almost, he admitted.

  He searched for a short and simple answer, or something that would satisfy her perfectly justified need for one. He couldn’t bring himself to go into the endless details that made up who they were together and why they fell in love.

  “We met in grad school,” he said quickly, gazing out into the distance past the high green trees. “We lived in the same apartment complex, which was basically a dorm for rent.” He turned to her with a tilt of his head and a raised eyebrow. “You and I happened to bump into each other one too many times, and…here we are.”

  She watched him, unaffected. He knew she was waiting for more.

  He didn’t know why he dulled it down for her. If he had told the entire story, she would know that seeing her in the building time and time again nearly made his heart stop. That her smile was breathtaking from the first time he saw it to way past the day of their wedding. He wouldn’t have admitted to himself at the time, but the only reason he went to the dorms’ bonfires was because Liz would usually be there. He had always been there for her as a friend and never pushed. Mainly because her dating life was a revolving door and he didn’t want to end up being another number. One night, she knocked on his door during a rainstorm because she was locked out and asked if she could stay until her roommate, Lauren, got home. They stayed up most of the night having a few beers and talking. He still remembered it as one of the best nights of his life.

  What made it more unforgettable, was days later when he saw Lauren reach for a key under their welcome rug. He mentioned it was a good idea that they do that now, and Lauren shrugged and said it was the reason they got that welcome mat when they moved in. They had always kept a spare there. He smiled to himself as he remembered the look on Liz’s face when he asked her about that. The reddest cheeks he’d ever seen on anyone. He had laughed lightly and kissed her, for their first real, deep kiss. Sweet, innocent, nothing like what would have happened years to follow.

  He glanced at her and shifted uncomfortably. “My brother stayed there too.” His eyes burned with anger. He wasn’t sure why he added that. It was all he could think of to keep the story casual and not emotional. His plan failed.

  “Are you two close?”

  He really wished she hadn’t asked that. “No.”

  She watched him. “I’m sorry. Can I ask why?”

  He turned to her coldly. Then caught himself and forced a grin. “Let’s just say he borrowed something without asking.” It made him sick labeling her as the something.

  “Oh.” She sat back. “That doesn’t sound so bad. Whatever it was, must have been recent.”

  He stared deeper into the distance, desperately avoiding her questioning stare. The flames still burning his chest.

  “I like him,” she remarked after a short silent moment, nodding slightly as if in approval. She was unknowingly throwing wood into the fire he was trying desperately to put out. One silent breath at a time.

  Matt stood abruptly and ran his fingers through his hair. He paced and let out a breath. “Are you okay? Do you need anything else? I’m going to head to work.”

  “Oh, what do you do?” He couldn’t tell if her avoiding his urgency was intentional.

  Of course, it isn’t, Matt told himself. For Liz, it was the simplest question anyone could ask. For him, it felt strange and surreal that a woman he’d known for over six years was asking what he did for a living. “I run the Arts and Science department at the State University.”

  Liz’s eyes widened. “Oh.” Then suddenly frowned and jumped. “Oh, should I be going to work too?”

  He smiled and relaxed. “No. You’re safe. You’re an elementary school teacher. It’s the middle of July. You’re not due back for a while, hopefully by then…” he trailed off.

  Liz sat back down, disappointed and looked up at him. “I’ll remember the basics of second grade?” she finished, with one lifted eyebrow.

  “Yeah, but there’ll be more to it than that.” He watched her sip her tea for a short moment. “I left my office and cell number for you. Call if you need anything. You can text me anytime too.” He also left numbers for the hospital, Dr. Tai and her brother. Although he debated about that last one for a while. Perhaps he’d call Marcus later and continue their chat that was cut short at the hospital.

  Liz blinked in acknowledgment at the numbers but didn’t say anything. She watched him without a trace of emotion on her face as he struggled internally to leave.

  “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He gave her a tentative smile and walked back into the apartment, leaving her to her mysterious thoughts on the balcony.

  He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth for letting an innocent remark get to him. The truth was he could have taken another day to stay home with her, and had intended on it. Spend al
l the necessary time to help her remember anything, talk to her and let her get to know him. Instead, he let himself get angry at an innocent woman and leave her to fend for herself in a strange place.

  He let out an uneasy breath. But did temporarily forgetting your mistakes make you innocent?

  He grabbed his keys and pulled open the door. He couldn’t risk her coming back in and letting her see this dark side of him that he felt starting to resurface.

  Chapter 14

  LIZ

  Liz shut the last album she could find on the bookshelf in the den. A charmingly decorated yet dark room, which she found strange for an area intended for reading and working. Two dark cherry bookshelves covered an entire wall and part of another wall. There was a dark wooden coffee table that was set between two green arm chairs. At the far end of the room was a busy desk and ivory leather chair. She walked over to the window and reached the record player beside it. She peeked in to look at the title. Not that it mattered, she wouldn’t have recognized any of them. She played what was already in the record player. A free-flowing piano dueling with a muted trumpet started. Jazz.

  She turned back to stare at the array of photo albums she had gone through in the past few hours. Photographic proofs which had not only triggered nothing but left her disappointed. This should have been all the evidence she needed to know that this man was who he claimed to be. But for some odd reason, it didn’t satisfy her doubt. Or maybe the disappointment was that she hoped not to find any proof at all. And the reason she hadn’t got her memory back was because there was nothing from her past life to trigger it.

  After the way Matt had left her hours ago, she was convinced that she was being deceived. Perhaps not entirely. But something surely didn’t feel right. You didn’t need to have all your memories in place to see the man practically jump out of his skin to get away from you. His rejection of her at the hospital could be understood. The door was, after all, free for any medical professional on that floor to walk in. She could even look past, be grateful in fact, for him insisting on sleeping in a different room until she felt more comfortable. But Matt abandoning her hours ago, made her feel like he was more of a caregiver rather than her husband.