Remember Me

by Roxanne Tully

  She set her glass down and turned back, pushing herself further into him. Placing her hands on his chest, she leaned in for a long kiss that she wanted to savor. Pushing aside her fear of losing him, she broke away and looked up at him. “It’s been a long day. I think I’m going to shower and go to bed.” She smiled to herself and turned to walk up the stairs, leaving him alone in the living room. Her not so subtle way of giving him a taste of his own medicine.

  Their master bathroom was heaven. And though her escape had different intentions, a shower did sound pleasantly needed. The pearl white tiles dulled as the steam spread through the spacious room. The mirror fogged just before she stepped behind the wide glass frame onto the ridged porcelain surface. The hot water barely scorched her skin.

  Yes, this was what she needed.

  It was, after all, a long emotional day and perhaps Matt would leave her to end her evening in solidarity, but somehow, the longing in his eyes just before she turned away, made her doubt it was the last she’d see of him that night. Surely, he’d be back, when she was through, emerging out into the cool bedroom in her bathrobe. The same one he’d once painfully placed around her shoulders when she’d pursued him.

  Perhaps she’d play the same game.

  Or perhaps she shouldn’t. Time was not her friend. Not with the fleeting memories she’d been having. Though unclear, the visions of the past were still flashing into her mind.

  Submerging her hair into her personal waterfall, she closed her eyes. The pressure against the back of her neck somehow releasing an incredible amount of stress. With the now perfectly warm water filling her ears, she opened her eyes and mouth to fill the rest of her senses.

  A dark figure behind the steamed glass appeared. He warned her with a tap on the glass before stepping in. The same desire was in his eyes, only now with a hint of humor behind them.

  He crossed the short distance to her, placing his warm hands on her waist, he pushed her lightly against the wall.

  “Your game won’t work on me,” he insisted.

  “Don’t be so sure of that.”

  “Maybe I let you win,” he murmured before crushing his lips over hers. He pushed her wet hair behind her and traced his fingers down her neck, between her breasts and then down to her navel. He paused to tickle her there, making her squirm into him and before she realized it, his hand reached her pelvic bone, making her jump slightly.

  It wasn’t enough. She needed more of him. She was desperate for more. She began to slide down when he pulled her back up and pinned her back to the wall.

  He gave her a tempered smile before sliding himself down her torso, slowly licking her. His lips and tongue teased her relentlessly, until his tongue finally delved deeper. Her hands reached out but found nothing to grab as she melted. They landed back on the top of his head. Her fingers digging into his skull. How was it even possible to feel this good? She cried out and started to shake, which only made him move faster and stronger, until she climaxed and melted into his arms.

  He stood, turning the knob to shut off the water. Her eyes flew open. He was barely wet, and she hadn’t had the chance to use soap before he started drying her off. He wrapped the towel around her and carried her back into their bedroom. She glanced at the bed that he’d already turned down for them. Their unfinished wine glasses sat on the night table. And the main lights were turned down, leaving only the dimmed pin-up wall lamps on either side of the bed.

  He pulled the towel over her shoulders and shuffled her wet hair. She laughed and fell into him, losing her balance. He chuckled along with her and pulled her onto the bed.

  “I wasn’t done with my shower.”

  “And you won’t be getting much sleep either.”

  “You’re going to be very disappointed in about twenty minutes,” she joked.

  He seemed lost in her laugh for a moment before kissing and guiding her farther onto the bed. She slid a hand onto his bare chest and one over his back, pulling him closer. She felt him harden instantly as he glided over her. His body was smooth, or maybe it was his touch that was so gentle. He didn’t take the time to take her in the way she had him. But then, a married couple who know each other well unclothed, might rarely do that anymore.

  “You are beautiful,” he reassured, leaning back just enough to look into her eyes when he said it.

  “Stop stalling,” She pulled him back down to her.

  He kissed her chest, then her stomach, continuing to tease her as if they had all the time in the world to be with each other. She closed her eyes at that thought. Her heart ached again, but only for a fleeting second before Matt wrapped a hand around the back of her neck.

  “What is it?” his eyes sensual yet concerned.

  I’m going to miss you when she comes back.

  She shook her head and gave a small smile. Her thoughts wouldn’t make any sense to anyone but her. And there was no point in sharing. She knew he wasn’t convinced.

  After a brief moment of searching her eyes, he kissed her forehead lightly. “You’d tell me?”

  Liz only nodded and let out a breath, releasing the negative energy that crept into her mind during such a wonderful moment. “I want all of you.”

  He grinned and slid his hands down her skin around her lower back, then lifting her into him. She was wet and waiting. Her back arched towards him just before he pushed inside her, releasing a moan from her throat. Her head sinked deeper into the pillow with every thrust. She enjoyed every inch of him touching her. Savored it. She didn’t let her mind wander to the when again’s and what if next times. Liz let herself stay in the moment. Embracing the thickness of him inside her, loving the way his lower torso rubbed against hers. He sped up his rhythm, vigorously sending her into another intense rapture bursting within her.

  Chapter 31

  MATT

  Matt watched her breathing slow to a steady, silent pace and knew she was asleep, her head still tucked under his shoulder. It wasn’t likely that he’d fall into a peaceful slumber beside her that night. His heart still raced with excitement and now guilt. He wanted her. Too much. He needed her. He needed her without the question of what this meant; forgiveness or empty desire.

  He turned away from the woman—the stranger lying next to him. He missed Lizzy more than he ever imagined. If only for a moment, she could come back to him. Wake up remembering everything and still find herself in the comfort and safety of his arms.

  Would that be enough for her to trust that it was okay to come back? That he won’t hurt or abandon her. Never again. If this cruel disease of the human mind would just give him one minute with her. Sixty seconds would surely be enough time to prove to her that it was safe.

  He would hold her close and tell her that nothing else mattered. That their world she thought was falling apart was only going through a small test. He’d tell her that as long as they were together, they’d overcome anything.

  Nothing mattered.

  But didn’t it? How long would that moment last before his anger started rushing back like an aftershock, and he’d be back to the rage and resentment that pushed her right into those headlights. Throwing harsh words that he’d never imagined at the woman he trusted more than anyone.

  So far, her memory loss, the fact that she’d been as innocent as the first day they met, had been the reason he’d been able to stay so collected. That he’d been able to love her and hold her without the stinging awareness of her betrayal.

  She was without a doubt, innocent, and therefore not Liz. Liz wasn’t innocent. She deceived him.

  With the doubt now fresh in his mind, his arm jerked from underneath her.

  Get it together.

  He saw her shift and frown. Then her eyes opened.

  Dammit.

  “I’m sorry,” she propped herself up a little, “I must have been suffocating you.”

  “No, you could never.” He looked down at her from his upright position and forced a smile. “I just needed to sit up for a minute. That�
�s all.” He bent down and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

  She didn’t seem to believe him. There was either uncertainty in her eyes or hesitation. As if she wanted to ask something, but decided against it.

  She reluctantly laid back down. “You don’t have to be sorry,” she yawned, “I do.”

  “What?”

  She was half asleep at this point. “I’ve been difficult, and you’ve been patient. Not pushing me. You’re just letting me be me.” She smiled softly; her eyes closed. “I don’t know what the doctor ordered but I know I’m in good hands.”

  …The downfall of not doing so could be very dangerous and lead to serious mental setbacks if her memories start flooding back negatively before she’s ready.

  The end of Dr. Tai’s voicemail replayed in Matt’s head. “I’d never do anything to hurt you, Lizzy,” he promised. Hoping it went further than her ears. He needed his wife to hear them too.

  * * *

  At 7:00 am the next morning—Sunday morning—Matt found himself staring out the window in their kitchen. Fresh, hot coffee pouring down his throat. It was something he’d find Lizzy doing on weekends when she couldn’t sleep in.

  Perhaps sleeping wasn’t his problem. Perhaps it was who he was sleeping with. And how unfair it was. Truthfully, it was unfair to all three of them.

  To his missing wife, his Lizzy, who was being kept away somewhere until he did all the right things, in the right order and at the right pace to bring her back. Exactly how the doctor ordered.

  It was unfair to the woman Liz sent in her place, who lay upstairs in their bed at that very moment, innocent to the deception. Confused with his mixed emotions of care, love and resentment. He should have been fair to her from the start. And what happened a few short hours ago was a mistake.

  But mostly—at least at the very moment—unfair to him. How could life throw him this cruel curve and then not even give him a day to deal with it? Why did he have to be forced to put his anger and hurt aside? It was too soon to test his love. And downright unfair.

  The doorbell rang, interrupting his thoughts. Matt frowned, glancing up at the time display on the oven. He pulled open the door to find Ben on the other side of the frame. His look was tentative and unapproving. Matt glared at him, waiting.

  “Is Liz around?”

  “She’s asleep,” Matt said flatly.

  Ben glanced inside and quickly licked his lips. “Can we talk?”

  Matt sighed. He knew this wasn’t good, but something told him his brother wasn’t going away. Matt glanced upstairs before stepping out of the apartment and closing the front door behind him. He stood there—arms crossed, waiting.

  “You can’t go on like this,” Ben breathed.

  Matt glared at his brother. Not bothering to ask why he thought this had anything to do with him. Or why he of all people thought he was in any place to give advice. He was just as much to blame for Liz’s situation as Matt was. Matt threw his arms in the air and tried to keep his voice down. “What am I supposed to do? Tell her what happened between the two of you and that I’d just found out about it? That I decided I couldn’t live with it, so she’s on her own?”

  “No, of course not. But you can’t lead her on either,” Ben insisted.

  “Stay out of it,” Matt hissed.

  “And you’re not doing much to make her remember,” Ben went on, ignoring Matt’s threat. “That hypnosis stunt was...” he paused, looking up at Matt. “You’re not sleeping with her, are you?

  Matt glanced away.

  “Matt!”

  But before Matt had a chance to shoot him another warning look, Ben held up his hands. “Look, I’m not going to tell you that you should wait until you resolve your issues, but if you still plan on giving up on your marriage then you can’t do that.” Ben flashed a disgusted look. “It’s just wrong.”

  “Don’t talk to me about morals.”

  “I’m not saying that what we did was okay, and keeping it from you was unjustifiable, but what’s going to happen when she gets her memory back, and asks you what that all meant?”

  Matt was getting frustrated and angrier by the second. But he couldn’t risk Liz overhearing. Frustration building and annoyance at his brothers’ sense.

  “You do realize this is the same woman, right? Liz isn’t just going to come back to us and forget the last few weeks,” Ben pointed out.

  Matt stayed silent. He should throw him out, punch him, anything—but a part of him locked in the burning outrage because he knew, bone deep, he needed to hear this. He knew it, but he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to follow doctors’ orders; taking her to familiar places, under no pressure, talking with her, answering her questions, showing her objects of meaning. Everything she’d been begging him for, but he selfishly avoided.

  Telling her that she picked out the right mug would help too. When you tell them that they are headed in the right direction, it builds confidence and open mindedness. It triggers a possibility for them, instead of fear of never recalling a single memory. If only to himself, he’d admit it.

  He wasn’t ready to face Lizzy.

  “Get out.”

  Ben sighed. “Fine. But she’s going to get her memory back. And when she finds out that you’ve been holding her back because of selfish reasons, this decision you made to end your marriage might no longer be yours to make.”

  Chapter 32

  LIZ

  The car door opened for Liz as soon as they pulled up to the circular driveway of the venue. Her long black dress fit well with the formally attired crowd by the main entrance. Liz eyed and admired the lavish entrance. She wondered if they came to these types of events often.

  Matt appeared at her side before her foot hit the ground and held out his forearm, giving her his half grin that calmed her nerves, and was no doubt part of his charm when they met. She took his arm and let him lead her toward the open mahogany doors. Her husband leaned into her subtly.

  “Don’t worry, we don’t do these types of things often, this is more of an annual event.”

  “I’m glad Megan helped me pick out a dress.”

  “I’m glad that everything in your closet is new to you, or you would have insisted on going shopping for this.”

  Something about his reference to the event, for this, seemed resentful.

  “You don’t sound like you want to be here.”

  He glanced at her and lifted an eyebrow. “You’re very perceptive,” he paused. “I’m just very protective, I suppose. I don’t like you to be around people you don’t know...or trust.”

  She smiled, relieved that he hadn’t tried to lie again when she called him out on his feelings. She tugged his arm close. “I’m not only perceptive with you, you know.” She raised an eyebrow at him and turned to the crowd. “I like to think I could peg the ones I can trust.” She glanced at him and shrugged. “Besides, I have a game I’d like to try.”

  “It wouldn’t be out of character for you.”

  Liz frowned at the comment.

  What she knew of the event was that it was political. Less than a gala, but more than just a party. Supporting the local district’s politicians was apparently something his parents were religious about. And therefore, Matt and Ben had to participate. Matt had said the plates cost a good portion of his last paycheck.

  Liz continued her analysis. If they were here for the district where Matt and Ben had gone to school, there would be mutual friends here. Possibly friends they only connected with on such occasions. Therefore, not close friendships, but not entirely lost. Just as she was about to proudly state her assessment to her husband, a tall dark-haired woman, who appeared to be in her early thirties, raced over to them.

  “Lizzy! You’re alive,” she exclaimed.

  “Oh boy,” Matt murmured.

  “I got this,” Liz muttered through her teeth.

  Matt looked at her surprised. “What?”

  “What’s her name?”

  �
�Angel.”

  “An— Really?” She glanced up at him then shrugged as the woman finally reached them.

  “Angel! Where’ve you been?” Liz exclaimed.

  “Me? I’ve been calling you for weeks. Someone told me you hit your head in an accident?” The woman was exactly as she’d expected, upfront and vocal.

  “No permanent damage.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. Liz believed her memories would be coming back. “I’ve been swamped with...lesson plans for the coming year. And we’re renovating the kitchen, so of course I could never hear or find my phone. Anyway, how’ve you been? I know you have news.” Liz insisted.

  Somehow the woman appeared to be the type of person that typically talked about herself and always had “news” or gossip of some kind. Maybe it was Liz’s strange sense of telling a personality or just her memory giving her an ounce.

  “You know I do.” Angel went on a brief summary of a guy named Frank from the office and how she was getting closer to getting to know him better. Although Angel’s words faded to mumbling in the background as Liz glanced at Matt’s amused face. Somehow, it didn’t sound like Angel was close to anything with regard to this Frank.

  “I’m coming over for wine next week, we’ll catch up,” Liz offered, before pulling Matt in the other direction with her.

  “I’ll come to you—want to see that new kitchen,” Angel called.

  “So, you want to get our kitchen redone huh?” Matt concluded after they were a safe distance away.

  “What? No, that was just a—”

  Matt shook his head, pointing a finger at her. “No, no, that didn’t come from nowhere. Why would that be the first thing you thought of?”

  Liz shrugged. “Maybe we could look into refreshing it a bit.”

  “Well we have to now!” He nodded his head back towards where Angel now stood, talking an earful to someone else.

  A short gentleman dressed in a sharp black suit with a white shirt and black bowtie, approached them holding a tray of tall champagne-filled flutes. Matt let go of Liz’s arm for a moment to grab two glasses and nod at the server.