Unliving Love

by Jason A Grimm

  Chapter 3

  This Old House

  Mike was brought back to reality by the honk of the horn from the car behind him. The red light had apparently turned green during his little daydream. He cleared his head and began to drive again. He was hoping that in the ten minutes he had left on his drive he wouldn’t have any more crazy flashbacks.

  You’d think I was a war vet… He thought as he rearranged himself in his seat. He kept his eyes firmly on the road doing his best to not have anything else trigger another memory.

  As he drove he passed a couple places that he couldn’t help but see that triggered a thought or two but none as strong as the empty field. One was a small convenience store that was where a lot of the kids in the neighborhood would go get candy and comics. One afternoon Wes, Mike and Tony a mutual friend of theirs thought it would be a good idea to do a bit of shoplifting. It wasn’t because they didn’t have money; on the contrary, Wes always had money on him. His family was well off. They just decided that it would be exciting. Their target of choice was an eight foot long beef stick that was dubbed The Beef Lassooo. They went in there to do their thing and all was going well till on the way out Tony asked if they managed to get anything which was ok but when he proceeded to say that he couldn’t because the store clerk was watching him. This of course caught the ear of one of the clerks and when she told them to stop, they took off. The clerk chased them but they ducked behind the dumpster before she made it around the corner and since she couldn’t see where they went she didn’t give chase beyond that point. They had survived the incident without a mark on their records and they were up eight feet of delicious beef snack. Life was good that day.

  The next spot was the bowling alley. For some reason it made him think of a random double date they had gone on. Nothing special happened; it wasn’t the start of a huge relationship for either of them. It was just a normal teenage double date, but it stood out to him for some reason.

  All that went away as he hit his block in his old neighborhood. He hadn’t been back in years and seeing his house gave him a nice warm feeling deep in his gut. He loved it at his school, all his friends were there, and he was treated like a super star but he still couldn’t help but think of how good it was to be home. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be at Wes’s house so he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to visit with his family before he had to drive back to school. Even though it somewhat pained him, he kept driving and passed his old house. A right turn and half a block later he was at his destination.

  He was in shock as he pulled up in front of Wes’s house. Last time he had seen it, it had been a run down, abandoned, wreck of a house. He had told Wes he was an idiot for buying it and it had actually been the climax of an argument that had ended their friendship. Now though it was beautiful. It was fully restored and looked like it was from another era in time. How did he afford all this? He thought to himself.

  He pulled his car in the drive way turned off the ignition, got out of the car, and began to walk up to the house. The lawn was freshly mowed and the plants that lined the large covered wrap around porch were well tended. He made his way to the back, opened the gate, and walked in to the fenced in back yard. In the back corner sat a large gazebo surrounded by large green, well-trimmed bushes.

  This looks like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine or an issue of Lawn and Garden. He thought to himself as he made his way towards the gazebo and sat down on the swing that sat beside it. He just stared out at the huge three story house, absolutely amazed at how much Wes had done with it. He figured he had some time till Wes’s parents got there, the line of people waiting to offer their final condolences was pretty long. He began to swing on the swing taking in the completely remodeled house. It must have cost a fortune to do this. He thought to himself as his gaze made its way towards the top of the house. He noticed that the attic window was stained glass. He couldn’t make out exactly what the image was because it wasn’t a large window but it appeared to look like a man and a woman. He stood up and walked towards the house and image became clearer with every step until finally he noticed that the guy in the window looked very similar to Wes. Mike smiled and shook his head then made his way around to the other side of the house but couldn’t get through the locked gate on that side so he back tracked and made his way back around to the front. When he made it to the front of the house he sat on the front porch and waited. After about twenty minutes Wes’s parents were pulling up. He was actually surprised at the quickness of their arrival. He thought it would’ve been much longer than it had. He stood up and made his way towards the street.

  Wes’s parents didn’t pull in the drive way, they parked on the road and only Wes’s mother got out of the car. His father didn’t even shut the car off and it was easy to tell from his face how much he hated being near the house so Mike knew it wasn’t going to be a long visit. When she got out she was carrying two large manila envelopes.

  “Hello Mrs. Joyner.”

  “Hello Mike.” She walked to him and gave him a big hug. “It’s so nice to see you. It’s been too long you know.”

  “I know, I have a lot going on up there with football and training.” He tried to change subjects he started to get a guilty feeling in his gut. “I didn’t expect you to be so soon. I figured it would have taken longer before you got out.”

  “Yeah I’m surprised too. I think some people just got tired of standing around so they left.” She began to walk towards the house.

  Mike turned and followed her.

  “This is your last year of school right?” She stopped about a foot from the porch and began to stare at the house.

  “Actually I graduated last year but I’m playing football this year since I was redshirted as a freshman. I wasn’t going to celebrate graduating till after football this year then Jen and I could celebrate together.”

  “I never did quite understand that.” She smiled at him. “I never did get in to football. We watched your games when they were on TV but I have to admit I hadn’t the slightest clue as to what was going on. I just knew that when Wes and Steve were cheering it was a good thing.”

  Mike let out a slight chuckle. “I was redshirted my freshman year. That means that I couldn’t play that year but it gives me an extra year of eligibility. Think of it as like a deferred payment. You don’t have to pay this month but they add a payment on to the end of the lease.”

  “That actually made sense.” She smiled.

  “Thought I’d try to put it in terms you’d understand. I figured that would make sense with you working at the bank.”

  “Well I guess the college classes paid off, that was very teacher like of you.” She smiled as she reached in her purse and dug out a set of keys.

  “You did major in teaching right?”

  “Yes I did.” He smiled. “High school science, it gives me something to fall back on if the football doesn’t pay off or if I get injured.”

  “That’s good. I always said you were a smart young man. I’m proud that you took real classes and didn’t waste your time and not get a solid degree.”

  “Yeah I never understood why some people didn’t take advantage. I mean I got a full ride, didn’t have to pay a dime and I’d be a fool if I didn’t take advantage. I know it just takes one shot to a knee or one to the shoulder and my career is done before it starts.” Mike gave Mrs. Joyner a smile. “I listened to you. You and Wes hounded me about it remember.” He laughed. “I listened.” He felt a twinge of pain as he said Wes’s name aloud.

  “Well we are all so proud. Wes was always proud of you, never missed a game. He’d go over to your parent’s house once a week and talk with your mother and see how everything was going.”

  Mike felt that ball of guilt that had been growing inside him burst, spreading it from head to toe. Here Wes was keeping track of him watching his games and he completely distanced himself from everyone back here. He was too busy playing the superstar to make it home and
visit everyone and now it was too late to make amends with Wes. He could feel some tears start to well up in his eyes.

  “That’s enough catching up for now.” Mrs. Joyner could see that he was starting to get emotional so she figured it best to change the subject. That wasn’t why she asked him here and she knew they both had enough crying for the time being. “Let’s get to why I asked you here. It’s late and it’s been a long, long day for both of us.”

  “That sounds good. I have to head back up to school tonight and I’d like to get to my parent’s house before it gets too late.”

  “I can understand that.” She stretched out her arms and handed Mike the two large manila envelopes. “This one here.” She pointed at the top one, which was the larger of the two. “This is a copy of Wes’s will and the deed to the house.”

  “I’m sorry?” Mike was taken by surprise. “The deed to his house? What am I supposed to do with the deed? Isn’t that better to be with his lawyer? Wes was a smart guy I’m sure he has a lawyer.”

  “Yes he does have a lawyer. However I figured I could just give you this stuff here. I knew you’d come to the funeral so no point in me not handing it to you myself.”

  “Well what am I supposed to do with it?”

  “Well everything is explained in the will.” She smiled at him. “He is leaving you the house and all of its contents. That’s all I really know though all the details are in your part of the will. It was broken up in to individual sections. We have ours and you have yours no one person apart from his lawyer knows all the details to each other’s section.”

  “How do you know he’s leaving me the house? What am I supposed to do with it?”

  “Michael… I’m his mother he told me he was leaving it to you. Read your part of the will it will explain everything.”

  Mike wasn’t sure what to say. How could he till he read his part of the will anyway. “Well what about the other envelope? I kind of interrupted you, sorry. Was just taken by surprise is all.”

  “That is his private journal.”

  He held up the envelope and turned it around in his hand. “Looks small.”

  “He put it on all on the computer, you know him.” She smiled. “That is the file, I have no idea what it’s on but it’s all there. There is a handwritten note for you in there too.” She took the key that was in her hand and laid it on top of the two envelopes he had in his. “He wanted you to read it. He said they would explain everything in detail. There is the key to the house. We have a set too just in case.”

  Mike just stood there and looked over all the things that she had given him. It had all been a shock. He never thought in a million years that he would have given him the house or anything else for that matter. I guess it makes sense his parents don’t need it and he doesn’t really have any other family to give it to, but still. He began to think but decided to put off thinking too hard on it till he read the will and the note. He wasn’t sure how he felt about reading the journal. He didn’t really think he wanted to see what was going on inside his head and just how bad he had gotten.

  “I know it’s a lot Michael. I hope you read the note maybe you can see things through his eyes a little. I know you two had a falling out and I know all of this is overwhelming, but he loved you. You were his closest friend so I really hope you read some of that and I hope it will help you understand a little better.” She leaned in and gave him another big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I am going to get going it’s been a long hard day and I am exhausted. I hope I see you soon, we’d all really like you to come back a little more often.” She leaned back and placed her hands on his cheeks and looked him in the eyes. “We love you Michael and we’re so proud of you.”

  “Love you too Mrs. Joyner.” He smiled.

  She gave him a big smile dropped her hands, turned, and began to walk back to the car. She opened the door and climbed in. Mr. Joyner leaned over and gave Mike a wave then they drove off leaving him standing in front of the house.

  Wait… Does she know about everything? It sure seemed like she did… Did he tell her? He thought to himself as he watched them drive away. He turned and walked towards the house. When he got to the porch he climbed a few steps then turned and sat down. He sat his envelopes down and held the key up and looked at it. What the hell am I going to do with this house? I’m sure as shit not going to live in it. He thought to himself as he dropped his hand and then stuck the key in his front pocket. He picked up the envelope that had Wes’s journal and the note then opened it up. He dumped the contents in to his hand. There was a smaller envelope that was sealed and a flash drive which must contain Wes’s transferred journal. He stared at the flash drive and it brought a smile to his face. God you were always such a dork, bet you thought spy thoughts the entire time you were typing this stuff out. I swear this thing better not self-destruct or have a virus to wipe my computer when I’m done with it. He thought to himself and the last thought actually made him laugh. The James Bond theme started playing in his head. He tried to shake it out but when he had no luck he put the flash drive in his pocket with the key, tore open the smaller envelope, and pulled out the letter that was inside. He was surprised to see that it was hand written. He expected it to be typed.

  Dear Michael Alexander Lachey,

  How ya doing buddy? I’m sure not well and I do sincerely apologize for that. I’m in a better place now and with my dearest love. We are happy together I hope you can find it in your heart to accept that. I know it’s not your normal situation but when was I ever a fan of normality. I am sure you are upset that I took my own life, hell I’d be mad if you did. The truth is Mike I was already dead. It was only a matter of time before it happened. Do you remember when we were 13 and I got in that car accident with my uncle? I lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion. Well somehow I got a bad batch that was infected HIV. I never told anyone, only people who knew were my Doctor, my parents, and a lawyer. It was kept very tight lipped the hospital didn’t want anyone to know so they kept it out of the papers. We won a very hefty settlement, but we’ll talk about that later. Bottom line is I was getting sicker and only had a handful of years left with the majority of them being bad ones anyway. I really hope this will help you forgive me and not be to upset. I think it would have been worse had everyone watched me get sick and suffer. The ones I love know the truth and as far as everyone else, well you know I never cared much for other’s opinions. I do hope this letter helps you to understand things a little more. As far as things with Emily you have to read my journal. I put it all on a flash drive. It’s all in order from the earliest till now. I started keeping a journal after the accident. Almost dying changed my life Mike, in many ways. I wouldn’t change what happened even if I could. My only regret is that our kids couldn’t play together, but after the accident that wouldn’t be possible even if I hadn’t done what I did. I know you are going to move on you’ll get drafted and I will become just a blip in your amazing life and that’s ok. It was always going to be that way. You are going to be happy and have a great life and that makes me very happy. Have an amazing life Mike and make us all proud, I’ll be watching.

  Love

  Your Friend,

  Wesley Theodor Joyner

  P.S. I can’t believe I forgot. Read the will it will explain everything about the house and my savings.

  Mike sat there unsure what to think. He was angry that he had never told him about being sick. He was supposed to be my best friend and he couldn’t tell me something that important? He thought to himself. In his anger he did feel a bit of understanding that he hadn’t felt before. I wouldn’t have wanted to suffer either, nor would I have wanted to see him suffer. He thought. Even though his letter shined some light on things it still left Mike’s emotions torn. Now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to get in to the will tonight or just wait and start fresh in the morning. He folded up the letter, put it back in the envelope, and sat it down. He started to get an uneasy feeling. He began to look around but he saw
nothing. He started to get a chill as his hair began to stand on the back of his neck then he had the weirdest sensation. It felt like someone had placed their hand on his shoulder. The feeling was so real it made him jump. As he jumped out of his seat, he began to turn towards the house to try and see what it was that had touched him but all he caught was a flash of white, then it was gone.

  What the hell? He thought to himself as he began to look around and without even noticing he had backed about ten feet from the porch. Ok I think I’ve had enough for one day. I am going to my parents. He thought as he walked back towards the porch and picked the envelope with the letter Wes had written off of the bottom step. He had knocked it off the porch when he jumped up. He grabbed the manila envelope that contained a copy of the will and turned to make his way towards his car. He began to get an uneasy feeling again. It was different this time he felt a bit more fearful and before he could make it all the way facing his car it felt as if someone had shoved him with all their might. He was a strong man and with all the years of football he wasn’t the easiest man to knock down, but he about fell flat on his face. When he caught his balance he actually began to jog to get to his car.

  He finally made it and he threw open his door and climbed in. As he stuck his key in the ignition he took a final glance towards the house. There in a window up stairs stood a figure, a female figure, a pale white female figure. It was the same white he had saw when he had felt the hand on his shoulder. He locked on her face and he could have sworn she was staring right at him and then she vanished. When he finally got control of his body again he turned the key bringing the engine to life. He threw the car in reverse and slammed on the gas, the tires squealed as he backed out of the drive way. Once he was in the road he put it in first gear and hit the gas and once again the tires squealed as he drove away.

  It took him all of a minute to get back to his parent’s house. As soon as he pulled in his driveway he began to feel better as the uneasy feeling had faded away. He sat there in his car trying to rationalize what had just happened and what he had seen. He decided that it had been a long day and his emotions were making his brain play tricks on him. That’s it… between the funeral and the letter and Wes’s crap my mind is playing tricks on me. He thought and he was good with this. It was the only obvious explanation for what had happened. He sat in his car for a few more minutes thinking about what had just happened and inputting the rational thoughts where they should go and he felt his body relax as he did so. I wasn’t pushed I tripped, Wes’s shit had just infiltrated my thoughts is all. On top of it all I have always hated that damn house and that is more than enough to give me the creepy feelings I had. He thought to himself. He remembered passing it as he walked to school when he was in elementary and it gave him the creeps then too. It always made you feel like something was off, it was very unsettling. When he finally got his thoughts together and everything in place he grabbed the papers he had tossed on the passenger seat then opened his door and stepped out of his car. As he walked towards the front door of his parent’s house he heard a lot of noise coming from it.