Under the surface

by Jaye Cox

  I wish I could explain to Ty why I have always run but I can’t, he will blame himself, and I would rather he get angry at me then blame himself. Life might have gotten better for him over the years, but after we left the Robinson’s, things were not as good as I had told him. His brother is a vile human being, maybe not as vile as David, but they are both scum of the earth if you ask me. “Please, just trust me, it’s different this time.” I beg.

  “It always is,” he says, walking out the door. I let him go this time, what he said really left me speechless, because he’s right. This really is what we’ve always wanted, what we use to talk about when we were just teenagers, and how we wanted our lives to turn out. I look around when I feel like I’m being watched.

  “Holy shit, that was intense.” Jash says.

  “Let’s talk about something different, like how Joe and Lizzy met.”

  “We met at my sweet sixteenth, my best friend Abigail is dating Joes friend, Ashton. When I first saw him, it was love at first sight,” she gushes.

  Oh god, puke. She is all pink and frilly and wrapped in pretty bows. Really not the type I expected Joe to go for since he is a little rough around the edges, but he’s sweet and thoughtful. Jash starts laughing. “Shut up asshole!” Joe says to Jash, throwing a couch pillow at him.

  “Did you see her face, Ms Anti-love over there?” Jash manages to get out between his laughter.

  “I am not anti-love, and I think it’s sweet.” I retort back. Jash gives me a look like I have two heads and Lizzy smiles and hugs into Joe, who is also looking at me funny.

  “It is nice to finally meet you Ruby, Joe talks about how awesome you are and I have been so nervous to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, too.” I say. I find it hard to talk to girls or women in general. I’m not sure why, maybe because they always judge me. I don’t get that vibe from her, but she is only a kid. “Anyone want a drink?” I ask, mainly because we have company and it seems like the polite thing to say.

  “I’ll have water, please.” says Lizzy.

  “Whatever’s cold is good.” Joe says.

  Glancing over at Jash, he is shaking his head no. While I’m getting the drinks, Jash comes into the kitchen, smiling like he has uncovered some big fucking secret. “What?” I snap.

  “I knew it - you’re not a heartless bitch.”

  “Why would you say that?” I question confused.

  “Because, you were all; ‘nice to meet you too and I’m not anti-love’.”

  “I’m still anti-love, and that whole ‘sweet instant love’ nearly made me puke, but who am I to rain on her parade?” I explain.

  “You rain on my parade all the time,” he jokes.

  “That’s because you’re a big ass, now help me grab the drinks.”

  “Fine, but just admit you believe in true love.”

  “Asshole. I do not, and won’t say I believe in true love, soul mate crap. All love leads to, is heartbreak and misery.”

  “C’mon, I think inside you’re a big softy, and with the right guy…” He says, then coughs, “DEX.”

  “I’m not in love with Dex!”

  “I think he also loves you.”

  “He does not!”

  “Prove it then. The next guy you see, ask him out.”

  “Fine I will, but he can’t be old or work with us.” I say as we walk back out to the lounge room.

  The doorbell rings as we’re walking back into the lounge room. I give Joe his drink and Lizzy her water, and make my way to the door, thinking Dex might have come back to say how much of a dick he was being earlier. It’s not Dex, but a guy who is ridiculously good looking, in a spoilt rich kid way. Here I am, standing in the doorway, thinking this is the guy I will have to ask to have drinks with me; isn’t it convenient he just happened to turn up at my door.

  “So here’s the deal,” I say, “my dickhead roommate thinks I need to ask someone out on a date to prove I don’t do love. It’s a long story, but would like to go out for drinks with me?”

  “How’s tomorrow night suit you?” He says.

  Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked. I thought for sure he would just laugh in my face and tell me he had the wrong house. “Sounds good,” I lie. I can’t think of anything worse than going out on a date with a stranger.

  “How about I pick you up from here about eight?”

  “Sweet… Oh you did knock on my door?”

  “Yes I did, I’m here to pick up Lizzy,” he says.

  “Lizzy!” I call out “Yourrr…?”

  “Brother,”

  “Brother is here!” He asks me my name and tells me his is Oliver, such a typical rich kid name.

  “Ollie, you’re late.” Lizzy chastises him.

  “Sorry, I had business to take care of,” he says with a smile. Ollie and Lizzy – seriously, shoot me now. Oliver says he will see me tomorrow, and Lizzy starts drilling him about what’s tomorrow, after she gives Joe a kiss on the cheek and waves goodbye.

  “Are you going out with Ollie?” Joe asks.

  “Yep,” is all I say, walking back inside. Joe follows behind me laughing and when I ask him what is so damn funny, he informs me Oliver is pretty much a player, and bangs anything with tits. Just fucking great. I’m going out with another version of Jash. I can’t back out now, or Jash will think it’s because I have feelings for Dex. Might be good for Mr Player to get a dose of the reality, not all women will fall at his feet; yeah it could be fun now that I know what his intentions will be.

  Jash is still in the lounge room and is now playing the Xbox, Joe lets us know he’s going to bed. He has made a habit of staying over a few times a week and neither of us mind, he doesn’t get in our way and cleans up after himself. He even cooks for us, which beats take out all the time. “So assface, guess who already has a date for tomorrow night?” I say, hitting Jash in the back of the head with a couch cushion.

  “With who?” he says in a disbelieving tone.

  “Joe’s girlfriend has a brother, Oliver.”

  “I will have to see it to believe it.”

  “Hey Ruby?” Joe says, walking out of the spare room.

  “What’s up?” I say, looking over my shoulder.

  “Lizzy just text me to tell you Ollie is taking you somewhere nice, so you will need to dress up. And if you need help she, and I quote, ‘will totally go shopping with you!’ But I will tell her you already have a dress, I know she can be a bit much one on one.”

  “Don’t be stupid,” Jash says. “Ruby needs help buying clothes, look at what she wears. And she is hell bent on proving me wrong, I know she would love it.” I elbow Jash in the ribs and he doesn’t think it’s funny, Joe is looking at us like we are insane.

  “Tell her to meet me at the tattoo shop at lunch time.” I say, trying to sound happy about this shopping trip.

  “Thanks, this will mean so much to her, and to me.”

  He goes back into his room and Jash has moved to the other couch, I don’t blame him because he is going to pay for this. I really need to consider why I’m even doing this. Is Jash’s thinking I have a “thing’’ for Dex really such a huge deal? And do I really have to prove myself. Damn Jash, he really knows how to push my buttons. I think I just need to go to bed and forget I’m taking a sixteen year old girl shopping tomorrow. Might as well try get in some Christmas shopping. I ordered most of my stuff online, but I wanted to get a tree since we are having a Christmas Eve dinner here. Joe asked if we could do a Christmas dinner, and since everyone has their own plans, we will just have it early.

  Today has dragged on and it’s not much longer before Lizzy should be here. I couldn’t convince Jash or Joe to come with me, they’re both pulling the piss and telling me how they would rather pull of their finger nails off with pliers, or stabbed in the eye with a rusty fork.

  “Who is stabbing who with a rusty fork?” Dex asks.

  “No one,” I say, hoping that will end the conversation.

  “R
uby is going shopping with my girlfriend for a dress.” Joe says

  “Since when do you wear dresses?” He asks.

  I’m about to tell him I don’t when Jash answers for me. “Since she has a date tonight.” Why do I feel like I’m doing something wrong, I get a twisting feeling in my gut as soon as Jash says the words.

  “That’s nice, have fun.” Dex says.

  Have fun? That is not what I expected, but I’m glad he didn’t get all weird on me. I have been afraid us being friends wouldn’t work. I see Lizzy come into the shop, and the way she looks around, I’m sure it’s the first time she has ever been inside a tattoo shop. But I’m so happy to see her right now, because I feel so awkward just standing here. I quickly make my way over to Lizzy and tell her to meet me out at my car so we can get this shopping done. I see Joe jog over and give her a kiss, she waves goodbye and follows me outside. Once she gets a look at my car she glances over at me, as if to make sure we are really getting in this shit heap. When I get in, she gets the gist this is my car. I turn up the stereo full blast so I at least don’t have to chat until we get to the shops, I can already tell it’s going to be a long ass day.

  Five hours is how long Lizzy dragged me around the shopping centre. One hour of which is all it took me to buy the remaining Christmas gifts for everyone, and another hour was spent buying Christmas decorations. Here I was thinking I would just buy some damn tinsel and balls for the tree; oh no, you have to pick lights, and did I want ones that flash or just plain ones, and then there is colour coordinating to match the balls to the damn tinsel, and apparently the star at the top of the tree as well. So I figured it was just easier to let her pick, but that was a huge mistake; because spending an hour picking out Christmas shit is boring as bat shit, and don’t let me get started on the damn dress, and shoes to match. Oh, did I forget to mention a bag? I managed to talk her out of the bag and when she asked where I would put everything and I told her my phone and ID are good in my bra, I think she may have had a mini stroke, but I didn’t back down. We did get a chance to chat A LOT in those five hours, and she seems like a cool chick. I’m a bit concerned about her family and Joe not fitting in; but I’m sure after a few weeks they will have broken up. How often do kids stay together these days anyway, right?

  “Ruby, you have to come put the star on the tree!” Lizzy yells out.

  I had managed to convince her since she picked the decorations, she and Joe should decorate the house. I have locked myself in my room for the last hour or so reading. I have even shocked myself, my best friend Taylor sent me a book called Shampoo by Karina Almeroth and at first I thought, Yep, that is so Taylor, a book about bloody hair care products, and then I read the blurb; Pinky, really do people actually call themselves after colours and pink? Blah! What a horrible colour, and love also? Blah! And second chances at life? Maybe Taylor is trying to send me a message. But any book that has a shampoo company with a drag queen as a mascot, and people selling shampoo based on sin; might actually be a book I would love. Then throw in survival, something I know a thing or two about that. After picking it up, I couldn’t put it down. I think minus the name Pinky, this chick is fucking awesome; and Ever, I won’t even get started on him. I put down the book and make a mental note to read some more later. I need to know what happens with this Ever guy, even though he makes me want to stab him in the throat with a blunt butter knife. Walking out of my room, it’s like freaking Christmas came and threw up all over the house, I find Joe by the kitchen. “What the fuck happened in here, did we kidnap Christmas?” I whisper.

  “She is a little Christmas crazy,” he says.

  “Ya think!” I say. Lizzy comes bouncing up to us and makes us follow her into the lounge room for the big star hanging and Christmas light reveal. After I hang the star, Lizzy switches off the house lights and even makes Joe count down from ten. When the Christmas lights turn on, even I have to admit, it does look kinda cool. They look amazing actually, and it’s not just the tree, she has lights around the front window flashing Merry Christmas. I tell her she has done a great job and I appreciate it. After an awkward girly hug, she and Joe disappear into the spare room. I hear Jash pull up, I know he isn’t a huge Christmas fan either and Christmas carols drive him mad. Lucky for him, Lizzy bought a CD and had it blasting while she was decorating, I quickly run over to the stereo and switch it onto CD mode, and wait until I hear him at the door and press play. We Wish You a Merry Christmas blasts through the speakers as he walks through the door and just stops. He doesn’t say anything, he just stands there. I think he might have died on the spot, but the look on his face is priceless.

  “What happened here?” Dex says, walking in the door from behind Jash.

  “Kill the lights.” I say to Dex, and he does. I flick the clicky thing that controls the lights and they start flashing on and off with different coloured lights, and I make sure to flick it to the fastest speed.

  “I’m being pranked,” is all Jash says.

  “You wish, this is all Lizzy.” I say with a smile.

  “It looks like Christmas threw up all over the fucking house, it has to come down!” He says.

  “Well, you tell her.” I say.

  “Tell her what?” Joe says, coming out with Lizzy hugging into his side.

  “How much Jash loves the Christmas decorations, and never wants to take them down.” I say, trying not to laugh.

  “Yay!” Lizzy squeals, clapping her hands and bouncing on the spot. She sure does have a lot of energy for a tiny chick. “You boys go play your boy games, I’m going to help Ruby get ready for her date.” What does she mean she is going to help me get ready for my date? I’m pretty sure I know how to dress myself. God damn it, if I hurt her feelings, then Joe will get hurt. This is why I hated kids, they’re annoying. “How about I shower first?” I say to her.

  “Don’t wet your hair though,” she says going through her bag, “use this.”

  She carries shower caps in her bag? I take it and go shower before it starts getting to weird and she pulls out a loofah and glitter shower gel. I make sure I take my time showering because I know she is waiting for me, I can’t stay in here forever though. Climbing out of the shower, I wrap the towel around my body and wipe the steam from the mirror and take a deep breath in. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about going on a date, a date I don’t even want to go on, I’m only going to prove a point. Walking into my room, Lizzy has shit everywhere; makeup and hair products and bags of who knows what else. Maybe this is a bad idea, the poor girl might get hurt when she realises this date is leading to nothing. After an hour, Lizzy has finished doing my hair and makeup. She has not let me look at myself in the mirror yet, she says it’s not my normal look and she doesn’t want me to hate it. The dress she helped me pick is short and tight, I’m not sure I will actually be able to eat anything tonight. The only thing I’m digging is these shoes. “Now you can look.” She says. Holy shit, I barely recognise myself with my hair pulled to the side the way it is, and the makeup is simple and not as bold as I would usually wear, I’m not sure what I think.

  “Are you sure it looks okay?” I ask.

  “Let’s go ask the boys what they think,” she says bouncing out the door. I follow behind her, it’s too close to eight for me to suddenly become sick and ditch this date.

  “Hot damn,” Jash says, as he watches me walk down the hallway, “someone’s getting lucky tonight.” Dex drops the Xbox controller and snaps his head around to look at me, I watch as he looks me up from head to toe, which gives me goose bumps. Then he just turns back around and starts playing the game again.

  “Maybe I will.” I say to Jash, even though I have no intention of sleeping with Oliver.

  “You look beautiful.” Joe says.

  “Thanks.”

  Jash tells me if the date sucks to meet him at Paulie’s, and Lizzy tells him how wonderful Oliver is, as she and Joe follow Jash out the door. He is dropping them off at one of their friends’ houses. I swear I he
ar Dex make a gagging noise, just before there is a knock at the door and he gets up off the couch.

  “You do look nice, have fun on your date.” He says, walking out the door and looking Oliver up and down on his way out. I was half expecting him to have some smart ass remark to throw at Oliver, but he surprised me and didn’t say anything.

  “Wow! You look stunning.” Oliver says, handing me a bunch of what look like very expensive flowers.

  “Thanks, let me put these in some water and we can go.”

  I look around in the kitchen and we don’t own any vases. I see Jash once again left the blender on the bench, and put the flowers in and hope they survive in protein shake for a few hours. “Ready.” I say walking towards the door, and at the end of the driveway, I see a limo. I consider turning around and walking back inside, thinking spoiled little rich kid who wouldn’t know a hard day’s work if it slapped him in the face. We make small talk in the limo, he mostly asks me questions about myself- could he really be more obvious about his intentions. I think my annoyance is showing because he stops asking questions and starts talking about music, which surprises me and he actually has decent taste in music. We pull up and the driver opens the door and lets us out, we are at Chenin des Amoureux, a very expensive French restaurant with a very long waiting list, and the only reason I know this is because Big Moe had me call and make a reservation for his 30th wedding anniversary three months in advance, and I was lucky to even get a table for them. Inside, a man in his mid-fifties walks over with a friendly smile.

  “Mr Fontaine, your usual table is ready.”

  “Thank you, Gerard.” After we are seated we are bought a bottle of wine, I don’t say I prefer beer or anything else besides wine, I pick up the menu and it’s in French. A younger female comes over to take our order, she is flirting with Oliver as they both speak in French. After a few minutes and a lot of laughing, the girl not so kindly snatches the menu from my hands.