Under the surface

by Jaye Cox

  “You’re in luck, I love you and also can’t wait” I say.

  Linc gets on the phone and talks for a few minutes and we hang up, when did my little boy grow up? I get myself somewhat pulled together and when I go back out to the kitchen, I find Jash and Joe are alive now. We girls allowed them to be at my hen’s night because our wedding is a little unconventional. Jash and Joe will be my bride’s men, well that’s what they’re calling themselves. Sam & Morris are Dex’s best men, we decided to keep it at two people each in the bridal party, otherwise we wouldn’t have many guests. Harlow is making Joe breakfast, she still has a crush on him after all these years. I was hoping she would get over it and she thinks we don’t know, but it’s still blatantly obvious.

  “Hey, I have to run out for a little bit, can you keep an eye on Harlow please?” I say making a quick exit before they all start grilling me on where I’m going.

  “We have been through a lot together the last ten years, you have helped me through so much; but I’m here because I’m petrified something will go wrong today. I will be strong for Dex’s sake, I’m scared I won’t be a good wife and I know that’s stupid, we have been together ten years. I still thank you every day for your letter, it’s what gets me through the bad times. If someone I didn’t know believed in me enough to look after her family, then I know I can do it. I try to make you proud, some people must think I’m crazy, sitting at the grave of my husband to be’s wife’s grave, but coming here and talking things out always makes me see things clearly, I can make sense of my life. I need you to be with him today, watch over him and make sure he is okay. I have never told Dex I come here and talk to you, it’s our secret and makes me feel like we have a bond of sorts.”

  Sitting at my husband’s deceased wife’s grave on my wedding day, talking to her like we’re old friends might be weird, but honestly I don’t care. At first I came here when Harlow called me mum for the first time, I still remember it like it was yesterday. She had a talk about her family and once we were leaving she called out mum and I turned around at the sound of her voice, her face lit up and she ran into my arms and told me she loved me and was glad I was her new mum. I never thought I liked kids until I met her, she broke down my walls within minutes of meeting her, and she has this way about her, a beauty that comes from within. I then started coming more often; when Dex and I had an argument, or if I was simply having a shit day, and mostly when big things happened in Harlow’s life.

  I put the fresh flowers in the vase on her grave and throw away the old ones. “Thank you for the amazing gift you passed on to me, I will continue to treasure them every day. I will love them for me and for you.” I say before walking away. If I don’t get back, Sam will have half the police force looking for me.

  Staring at myself in the mirror once I’m dressed, I get choked up but I remind myself not to cry or I will ruin my makeup.

  “Knock, knock.” Ty says entering the room. “Wow sis, you look beautiful.”

  “You don’t look too bad yourself.” I say, as he hands me the most beautiful bouquet of roses. He insisted I used the one from his garden and he has out done himself.

  “I have known you now for twenty years; we may not be blood related, but you’re the best family I could have asked for. I can’t believe how far we have come, but know I love you so much.”

  “I love you too, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. You have been my rock and without you, I would be lost,” I say pulling him into a hug before we both cry and Sam murders me for ruining my makeup.

  “I will meet you outside and give you a minute to finish getting ready.”

  We decided to have the wedding at our house since we moved a few years ago to a bigger house on some land so the kids had room to grow and play. The front lawn has the aisle and arch for the wedding. The backyard has a marquee set up and a caterer is organising, and a DJ will be playing later tonight. Harlow comes in to see if I’m ready, because Jash is getting restless.

  “You look so pretty mum.” She says.

  “Thank you. I can’t believe how grown up you look in your dress.”

  “I know I don’t remember my mum and to me you’re the only mum I have known, but I know she is watching down on us and is happy, dad and I are happy because you’re amazing. I heard you once say to dad you didn’t ever know how you would ever measure up to how pure and special my mum was, but to me you more than measure up. The things everyone tells me about my mum just sound like they’re talking about you.”

  “You’re going to make me cry, I’m so lucky to be you’re mum and I’m thankful for that everyday.”

  “Okay ladies, it’s time.” Joe says, popping his head in the door.

  “Mummy!” Linc exclaims looking me up and down, it must be a shock to him to see me in a dress.

  Love Letter by Jessie J starts playing and Ty links his arms with mine as Harlow leads the way outside, holding her brothers hand; followed by Joe and then Jash. Once my cue comes, Ty leads me down the aisle. I look up and I see tears in Dex’s eyes and instantly all my fears of getting married don’t matter, because having him by my side makes everything better. After the celebrant asks who is giving me away and I stand next to Dex, he whispers in my ear.

  “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

  The celebrant goes through the usual thank you for being here to witness us being married, but to me it’s all a blur as I look into the eyes of the man I love, and reassure him everything is going to be fine. We both wrote our own vows and it may be a little different than what most people would say, but nothing about our wedding is traditional.

  “Ruby, when I met you I was a shell of the man I use to be, but day by day you have helped me rebuild everything that was broken inside me. You have made me whole again and every day I get to wake up with you beside me is the best day of my life. I love you more today than yesterday, and I look forward to tomorrow, so I get to love you that much more.” I held it together until now, I can’t help the tears and Sam passes me a tissue.

  “Dex, I had so many walls put up around me when I met you because I was so scared of what could happen if I let someone in, then I met you and you slowly started to break through. But the day I met Harlow was it for me, you both took me by surprise and the love I found having you both in my life made me a better person, and started healing the wounds from my past. Today I stand here with you and our family and know I’m right where I’m supposed to be - the place I always dreamed of.”

  Sam has lost it and she is crying like a baby, I can see the tears pouring down her face. I can’t believe I was so scared of this, because it has to be one of the best moments in my life. From meeting Dex and Harlow and our friends, to the birth of Linc. I never knew how precious that moment is when you first look into your child’s eyes and the love you instantly feel. It hurts to know Amanda never had that with Harlow; so I love that girl enough for both of us. The day we first got to meet Chase and Reid; having them with us, and seeing their transformations from the scared little boys we got and turning themselves around and into an amazing young men.

  I almost miss the I do’s thinking about how lucky I am.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride.”

  Dex’s lips on mine still gives me butterflies, just like he has for the last ten years. After we sign the wedding certificate and I’m now Mrs Ruby Dexler, we get a million photos taken and head out back where the marque is set up. I’m nervous about how Dex will react to my surprise. I knew being with Dex was a package deal and he would always love Amanda, and I have always been happy to share his heart. The DJ announces our arrival and everyone claps, except Jash, he wolf whistles which makes me smile, he hasn’t changed a bit in ten years. We mingle with our friends and family; everyone congratulates us, I give the nod to the DJ so he knows I’m ready.

  “The bride has requested everyone be seated, she has a surprise for her groom.” The DJ says and everyone takes their seats. Dex
looks enquiringly at me and I just smile back at him and lead him onto the dance floor, then make my way to the side as the music starts.

  “The bride has requested their first dance be done with a twist. This one’s for Amanda.”

  True Colors by Cyndi Lauper plays and Dex’s mum walks over to him. I had Sam’s help with some of Amanda’s favourite songs. I know Dex and his mum have not been close, but he loves her more then he lets on, the song blends into Love Story by Taylor Swift and his mum kisses his check and Bells takes over. Sam told me she and Amanda use to play this song all the time and talk to their Romeos. Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney starts and Robbie takes over. I can see Dex get emotional as Amanda’s favourite songs are playing and for a split second I think I have done the wrong thing. But a smile creeps up onto his lips and I know he has good memories attached to these songs; and I’m glad, because I wanted Amanda to be part of our day; she is a huge part of our lives. The next song starts, Savage Garden’s, I Knew I Loved You, and Winnie hugs Robbie before she takes over and dances with her brother. I can see Winnie say something to Dex and he nods. The song changes to Kelly Clarkson’s A Moment Like This, and Sam takes Dex’s hand and wraps it around her waist, they share a moment together, and it’s heart breaking to watch them both. They lost their best friend, but have both learnt to remember the good things, those are memories worth enjoying. Amanda’s mum takes over when Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison starts playing, and I can see her crying already. She and her husband being here has been amazing, they have always accepted Dex as their own and that never changed, even after Amanda died, and her whole family has been amazing towards the boys also. Sarah Amanda’s sister isn’t my biggest fan, but she has accepted I’m not going anywhere. I watch as Dex and Amanda’s mum dance together and it’s beautiful to watch them, the tears they both share.

  Harlow taps her grandmother on the shoulder and takes over as Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder comes on. I made this song snippet a bit longer then everyone else’s because I knew Dex would want to sing his daughter her song, he doesn’t get a chance to sing it to her as often as he used to. I watch as he sings in her ear and as she cries, when the song is almost ready to switch over I make my way onto the stage. Harlow whispers I love you to Dex and I take over to Leann Rhymes - How Do I Live starts, Amanda’s favourite song. Dex pulls me close and looks at me as we dance together for the first time as husband and wife. I can see the silent thank you in his eyes.

  “Because of you, I survived. Your love makes me strong.” He whispers in my ear. All fairy-tales really do have a once upon a time and a happily ever after.

  Fancy – Iggy Azalea

  Mr Brightside – The Killers

  I Miss You – Blink 182

  Crosby Sweater – Hilltop Hoods

  Demons – Imagine Dragons

  Broken – Seether and Amy Lee

  My Immortal – Evanescence

  Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

  Isn’t She Lovely – Stevie Wonder

  Yours – Elle Henderson

  Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison

  Far Away – Nickleback

  Call Me – Shinedown

  Breaking Inside – Shinedown

  Love Letter – Jessie J

  True Colors – Cyndi Lauper

  Love Story – Taylor Swift

  Beautiful Soul – Jesse McCartney

  I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden

  A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson

  Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison

  Isn’t She Lovely – Stevie Wonder

  How Do I Live – LeAnn Rimes

  Check these links for more books from author Jaye Cox.

  Amazon Links

  Unexpected Consequences (Love Is Not Enough Book One)

  Goodreads Links

  Unexpected Consequences (Love Is Not Enough Book One)

  Under The Surface (Love Is Not Enough Book Two)

  Email

  Facebook

  Goodreads

  Spotify

  Jaye Cox was born in Frankston Victoria and as a young child, she moved to sunny Queensland. Jaye is a wife and mother to six kids. While raising her children for the last twelve years, she decided she wanted to pursue her love of writing, which started with her love of reading. It is the one thing that became her break and escape from the insanity of a large family. Jaye loves being a full-time mother and wife, watching her kids grow and enjoying every minute of it. You will a catch her with her family having family barbecues every weekend during the warmer months, and enjoying life to the fullest.