Nothing Is Predictable

by Adalina Mae

  Sifu knelt beside me again. He had tears in his eyes, worried too about what damage I had done to myself with my ridiculous Bruce Lee act.

  What had I been thinking? And on gravel too! Really?

  Around ten minutes passed before we heard ambulance sirens approaching. Then all of a sudden, I wiggled my feet, I moved my legs, a shivering feeling came all over my body, and all sensation returned.

  “Oh my God, Sifu! I’m moving, I’m moving! Look, Sifu, I can move my legs.”

  “Thank God, but don’t move too much before the paramedics get here,” he said.

  Of course, as usual I didn’t listen to his advice. I stood up, jumped a few times, shook my legs and my arms, and stood in a sparring position with a smile on my face ready to challenge Sifu again. “Let’s go, Sir, I’m ready to whip your ass again.”

  Normally, anyone who said something like that to Sifu would get a whack on the head but under the circumstances, he looked at me, laughed with relief, and shook his head at my bold spirit.

  “I can’t believe this just happened!” he said.

  “I know, right? I’m fine though, I don’t know what happened but I’m fine,” I said with a smirk, yet I kept my guard up in case he startled me with another whack on the head.

  The ambulance arrived, and I told them it was a false alarm. However, they insisted on assessing me before announcing me fit to go. They recommended I get some scans done just in case any underlying damage had occurred that might cause future problems.

  We decided to finish the training session. Sifu ordered me to rest and place a hot pack on my spine, and get some scans done the following week. That evening, I felt tingling sensations in my lower spine and legs. The following morning, not only did I have the battle of sitting down from the two thousand squats, I also had severe pain in my lower spine. To some extent, I had expected that. At least the damage wasn’t severe, and I was still able to walk. That week, I went to do the necessary tests and booked in to see the spine specialist. After his initial look at my scans, he said, “Madam, you can kiss your red sash goodbye.”

  “What do you mean, Doc? That’s a little blunt and harsh, don’t you think! Are you serious?”

  “If you don’t stop this extreme training, I can guarantee you will need to have surgery on your spine and then you won’t be able to do anything! Take it easy, go for walks or swim, and when you’re feeling better do some yoga with modification. Don’t put pressure on your back, unless you want to have multiple surgeries in the near future.”

  The news was just as shocking as telling me someone close to me had died. The only kind of training I enjoyed was martial arts, it was a huge part of my life. How could he say kiss it goodbye?

  I tossed and turned all night, disheartened by the news, yet I needed to come to terms with the fact that it was either more damage, or an end to my training. The thought of spinal surgery was not an option at my age. So I stopped the aggressive martial arts training and modified it slightly to suit my capabilities. A big part of me was gone. Slowly and surely, I began to feel empty.

  Chapter 28

  Missing the wedding

  USA 2004

  Debbie was preparing for her wedding in England in September and she asked me to be her maid of honor, with Karen and Helen as her bridesmaids. I had planned a month’s vacation in Europe around her wedding and was counting down the days impatiently.

  On the day of her final fitting to pick up her gown, Debbie tried on her dress. The three of us wandered around the boutique, mucking around and trying on tiaras, veils, and gloves. Like most bridesmaids, we were turning a fun day out into a silly fun day. I put on a veil and walked around the room gracefully.

  “Hey! Look at me. Now bow before me and rise up!” I said, prancing around pompously.

  “You’re an idiot. She’s coming out soon, put it back!” Helen said as she sat on the couch and waited anxiously for Debbie to come out. Karen was fiddling with some tiaras on the counter.

  “Hey, Zara! Does this tiara make my bum look big?” Karen turned around with a seductive look on her face and her bottom sticking out.

  “Haha, yes it looks huge! Damn, you’re funny. Hey Helen, look at Karen! Do you think her bum looks big in that tiara?”

  Karen and I were laughing while Helen sat there and shook her head at us for acting so immaturely. Karen and I had a similar sense of humor, whereas Debbie and Helen were quieter.

  Then the dressmaker opened the curtain and Debbie walked out. Helen stood up, I stared at Debbie while trying to untangle myself from the long veil, and Karen stood there dumbfounded with the tiara entangled in her hair. We all began to tear up. She looked truly gorgeous.

  “So! What do you think?” Debbie asked us.

  “That dress is so you, it’s perfect!” Helen said.

  “Absolutely gorgeous, Deb, you look beautiful!” I said, gazing at her.

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say Deb, stunning!” Karen said, with the tiara still hanging off her head.

  We all hugged in a circle, overwhelmed that our Debbie was about to get married. We’d all known our lives would change eventually but seeing her in her gown made it official. We began to cry and had a group hug.

  “So Deb, tell me, does this tiara make my bum look big?” Karen posed again, trying to change the emotional mood into laughter.

  “You idiot!” Helen said and shook her head. Debbie and I laughed and at that moment, we all knew we were going to whoop it up on the wedding day.

  Seeing Debbie in a wedding gown might have made me emotional, considering my own failure with the sacrament of marriage, but surprisingly, I was truly happy to be on my own and felt only joy for Debbie.

  * * *

  It was another day at the office, a week before Debbie’s wedding. For some reason, during that week my sales were down by fifty percent and none of us knew why. My senior, Stephanie, received an alarming phone call from one of our top clients. She and Matthew knocked on my office door before barging in.

  “Zara, something is going on you need to be aware of!” Stephanie said. They both sat down on the chairs in my office.

  “What’s going on? What the hell is going on with placements this week?” I yelled in frustration.

  Stephanie replied, “I just received a call from my client. They wanted to confirm if our company is still operating!”

  “What do you mean, still operating?” I asked.

  “Someone in the industry has been ringing all our clients saying our company is closing down. No wonder we haven’t had any placements this week.”

  “That’s right, Zara,” Matthew intervened. “I came across a few this week who said the same thing. I don’t know how they heard this rumor, they wouldn’t tell me.”

  “Okay, which client rang in? Give me their contact details and I’ll call them and get to the bottom of this!” I said.

  “There’s something else, Zara. Both Steph and I have been receiving calls from other recruiters poaching us to work with our opposition and even offering us more money. They’re trying to scare us by saying our company is going to shut down. Why is this happening?” Matthew asked frantically.

  “You have got to be kidding me! Someone is deliberately sabotaging my business! You guys don’t believe any of this, do you?”

  “Well, we just need to know. Is the company in any financial strife? Are we going bankrupt? I mean, why would other companies say that? We need to secure our jobs, Zara,” Stephanie said.

  “It’s nonsense! Don’t even worry about it. The company is strong and in a great financial position. Look, don’t panic, it’s sabotage. I’ll get to the bottom of it. Does anyone else from the team know about this?” I asked.

  “Some are nervous about losing their jobs. Several of us have received random anonymous phone calls this week,” Stephanie replied.

  “Come with me,” I said.

  I stood up and asked them to come out to the sales room with me.

  “Okay team, gather up
in the boardroom, NOW! Leave whatever you’re doing and come straight in. This is important!” I told them.

  I walked to the administration office and asked them to put calls on voicemail and join us. I needed everyone in the meeting to reassure them. They all gathered immediately, nervous at the look on my face.

  “I have just been informed that this company is being sabotaged by vicious rumors spread in the industry that we are closing down. Put your hand up if you’ve received any calls or emails, or if you’ve been poached by the opposition. And don’t worry, I’m not reprimanding you if you have.”

  Most of the staff put their hands up, reluctantly. As individuals, they had thought they were the only ones being approached until they saw most of their colleagues put their hands up too. Then they realized. I knew then my business was in jeopardy and I had to give it my undivided attention before I lost the confidence of my staff and my company.

  “Rest assured we are not closing down, we are not in financial strife, this company is the strongest it has ever been, and I don’t want any of you feeling your jobs are in jeopardy in any way. Someone out there is deliberately sabotaging us and we, as a team, need to get to the bottom of this and find out who it is. Now let me tell you, the moment I unravel the truth, I will be suing them for defamation and damages. Now please, if you receive any calls from clients asking about this, reassure them they are only rumors, and if you receive any poaching calls from recruiters, find out what company they’re representing before you hang up on them. Unless you actually want to go elsewhere, that is your decision of course. I want you to ring every client, large or small, and let them know about this rumor going around so they don’t go elsewhere or presume we’re closing down. Perhaps they’ll tell you who is creating these rumors if you disclose our situation. Can we all do this as a priority?”

  I realized the staff felt insecure and were lacking confidence in the company and so I began to panic about the possible repercussions. What if the staff went elsewhere, particularly my key performers? I was willing to move mountains for my staff and make sure their jobs were secure. I had to protect my company from losing its key performers. I needed to monitor all calls coming into and out of the business.

  I had another issue, Debbie’s wedding in England. How could I leave the company at such an uncertain time? How could I prove to my staff that I was responsible and would protect their jobs if I went away? My business was small, and I was sole manager. I couldn’t leave the sales executives to fight for my company or leave the company wide open for the opposition to poach them while my focus was not on the business. I was always the first one in the office and the last one to leave. I had to lead by example and show them I was there during good times and bad.

  Unfortunately, all this was at the expense of missing my friend Debbie’s wedding. I had to withdraw from my commitment as maid of honor and the planned vacation. I hoped that Debbie would forgive me. I was concerned that my girls would not understand my position, as none of them had ever owned a business and I didn’t know if they would comprehend the pressure I was under, battling to salvage my company. I felt so guilty for letting her down on the most important day of her life.

  I cried on her wedding day, left behind while all my girls went overseas to celebrate Debbie’s wedding. I had to believe if she truly loved me, deep down, she would understand my predicament. After all, I could rely on no one but myself for my financial security.

  Eventually, I found out who was behind the vicious and immoral act and took legal action against them. It took almost six months for my business to recover the loss of normal trade after the unethical attack.

  Chapter 29

  Second chance

  USA 2005

  My niece Naomi was planning her wedding in 2005. She and I are very close. I’m like her older sister in a way, as I’m thirteen years older than she is and ten years younger than her mother, my sister Izabelle. Although Naomi was young, she felt ready for the commitment of marriage and although I was reluctant at first, after meeting Jack, her fiancé, I understood he was everything she wanted in a husband and the future father of her children.

  We were out for dinner one night and I asked her, “So missy, how are things going with Jack?”

  “He’s great, Aunty. I would like to ask you a favor, please?” She sounded excited.

  “Go for it,” I said.

  “You have always been an important part of my life Zara and I’d love you to be my maid of honor!”

  “Of course, my darling, I’m honored you’ve asked me, of course I will be.” I got up and hugged her, happy she wanted me to be beside her on the most important day of her life, and excited to have a second chance at maid of honor for someone I loved dearly.

  I wanted her to have the best bachelorette night she would never forget, a weekend to remember, and send her on her way to becoming a married woman with a huge celebration.

  Well, I ended up never forgetting the celebration or what happened the following morning.

  For the bridesmaids, the day started with massages and facials and sipping cocktails by the pool. By the evening, we had fifty girls rock up to the party which ended with the obligatory strip show.

  I warned them to act like ladies and not drink excessively. I was the eldest and always felt I had to look out for them. We drank wine and a few tequila shots and before I knew it, I was the one with my head shoved over a toilet bowl throwing up. At the end of that crazy night, I made sure Naomi and some of her friends had a ride home. My girls, Debbie, Helen, and Karen, planned a subtle exit to take me home, so we wouldn’t embarrass ourselves. The taxi ride home took forever, because we had to make a few stops along the way so I could eloquently disgorge my alcohol, as I preferred to describe it. What a classy woman I was that night! Not bad to have reached thirty-three before experiencing inebriation for the first time. It had taken me a while to spread my wings and live a little, although my head shoved down a toilet bowl isn’t exactly living a little. You have to experience it at least … once … okay ... maybe five times! I can honestly say in all my life I have been drunk five times. Now that’s a great record.

  The three of them slept at my place that night and as usual, the following morning I was the first to wake up. I dragged myself to the shower to shake off my hangover. How exhilarating it is to have a warm shower after a night of drinking. As I drowned my face under the shower hose, I gradually began to feel better and started softly humming away to some tune in my head. As I lathered my body, I felt something down in my private parts that felt like chewing gum.

  I stretched the gum out with confusion, wondering how the hell it had got stuck in little Zara, and didn’t know whether to laugh or be concerned about what mischief I might have got up to the previous night. I just couldn’t remember.

  “What the…? I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation to this. How on earth can there be a reasonable explanation to finding chewing gum in your vagina, woman! Seriously! What the fuck!” I scolded myself.

  I slid down the wall and sat on the floor of the shower, giggling quietly with my hand over my mouth, hoping nothing indecent had happened. It was a struggle to remember most of the night. Step by step, I tried to fill in the missing links.

  I remember leaving the party with the girls.

  I remember my head poking out of the cab once or maybe twice. Nice one, Zara!

  Then I remember walking up the stairs with the girls helping me to get into bed.

  So…I couldn’t have done anything. Okay, we’re good, nothing happened.

  A few seconds later, a memory popped into my head and I figured it all out.

  The girls gave me chewing gum after a few episodes of disgorging alcohol out of the taxi. When I went to the toilet during the night, I took out my chewing gum and wrapped it in the toilet paper I used. It must have stuck there.

  Classy! Great catch! I am indeed.

  I laughed at myself the whole time I was in the shower, and finally managed to g
et dressed and go downstairs to make coffee and wait for the girls to wake up. One by one, they wobbled down the stairs.

  “Morning! Well done, you idiot! Here you are telling us to behave and you get drunk. Woohoo!” Karen said, wobbling down the stairs and laughing at me. Shortly after, Helen followed.

  “Hats off to you, girl! Well done!” Helen cheered.

  “You were crazy last night!” Little miss-goody-two-shoes Debbie shouted from upstairs.

  “Alright! Alright! I stuffed up, sorry! Always a first time for everything, I’m glad Naomi had a great time though,” I defended myself. “Anyway, I have to tell you what happened in the shower!”

  I made them coffee and told them about my treasure discovery. We all exploded with laughter and rolled around on the floor, holding our stomachs because they hurt so much. An experience like this I could only ever share with my girls.

  “Only you, Zara! Only you could have something this crazy happen to you.” They all said.

  The wedding

  On her big day, the weather was magnificent, a mild sunny day with no wind or rain. It was a big day for everyone, as Naomi was the first niece in the family to get married. Sadly, my mother was in hospital recovering from a second hip replacement.

  As the cars arrived at the church, the wedding party lined up ready to walk in. The four hundred guests were already waiting inside the church. Damn Lebs. There’s always too many of us.

  Upon her arrival at the altar, I walked around in front of her and slowly unveiled her, as was traditional for the maid of honor.

  “You can still change your mind,” I whispered to her.

  “Shhh, don’t make me laugh, please,” Naomi whispered back.

  “I’m serious, the aisle’s free, let’s run, it’s not too late.”

  I was trying not to laugh, and the bridesmaids began to giggle when they heard what I was saying. Naomi kept a straight face while Jack looked confused and curious, wondering what deviousness I was getting up to. I walked back to my spot and the priest gave me the meanest look and shook his head.