Surrendered Hearts

by Carrie Turansky

  “I’ll pray.” Jenn bowed her head, and closed her eyes. “Dear God, thank you for our breakfast and for everyone around this table. Please be with us and watch over us today. Amen.” Her cheeks flamed as she looked up.

  Tilley wore a pleased smile as she poured orange juice into his glass. “So, Phillip, what are your plans for the day?”

  “Well, I thought Jenn and I would take a drive and do a little exploring.” He ladled maple syrup on his French toast. “I’ve never been to Vermont before.”

  Jenn swallowed and set her fork down. “I’m sorry, Phillip. I should’ve mentioned this last night. I’m working in the gallery today from ten to five.”

  He sent her a puzzled look. “Isn’t there someone else who could fill in for you?”

  “Not really. I’m the only one working until Lauren gets back.”

  “When is that?”

  “Tomorrow around six. But we’re closed on Sundays, so we can go for a drive after church if you like.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Church?”

  She nodded, feeling a little surge of mirth at his surprised expression. She’d enjoyed going the last two weeks, and she didn’t intend to miss tomorrow. “The service is over about twelve. So that gives us all afternoon. But I’d like to be here when Wes and Lauren get back.”

  “They’re bringing me a surprise,” Toby added, his smile spreading wider.

  Phillip ignored Toby, and a frown settled on his forehead. “Can’t you just close the gallery today? I’m sure you’ve worked extra hours while they’re away.”

  She shook her head. “I couldn’t do that. Saturday is always our busiest day.”

  Toby reached across and took another piece of bacon from the serving platter. As he brought it back to his plate, his hand bumped Phillip’s juice glass and knocked it over.

  Phillip gasped and jerked back, but not in time to avoid the orange stream cascading into his lap.

  “Oh dear.” Tilley hopped up and reached for a towel.

  Phillip muttered a curse as he swiped his napkin at his pants leg.

  Surprise rippled through Jenn. She hadn’t heard that kind of language for months.

  Toby shrunk into his chair. “Sorry.”

  “It’s all right, Toby.” Jenn narrowed her eyes and sent Phillip a sharp glance. “It’s just a little juice.”

  Tilley and Jenn tried to engage Phillip in conversation through the rest of breakfast, but his answers were brief and his irritation obvious. Jenn couldn’t believe he would let a little accident spoil the meal. After they’d finished and cleared the table, Jenn turned to Phillip. “Well, I’m headed out to the gallery.”

  “Already?” He glanced at his watch, a disgruntled look settling over his features again.

  She lifted her key ring from the hook by the refrigerator. “I need to turn on the air conditioner and cool things off before we open.”

  He cocked his head toward the mudroom, signaling that he wanted to speak to her alone.

  She led the way out the back door and on to the porch. “What is it?”

  “Darling, I understand you want to help your brother and his wife, but we need to make arrangements for our flight back to Oregon.”

  “I told you last night, I want to talk to Wes and Lauren first, and I want you to meet them.”

  “Of course. I’m looking forward to it. But I don’t want you to miss the audition on Thursday, and I’m not sure how long we can wait to make our reservations.”

  Jenn smoothed her hand down her sleeve. “I’m not ready to make a decision. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”

  He studied her for a moment, a perplexed look lining his face. “You’ve changed, Jenn.”

  A feeling of confidence rose in her heart, and she nodded. “You’re right. I have.”

  * * * *

  Bill checked his watch and hustled up the sun-splashed front steps of Tipton Bible Church. As he pulled open the front door, the sound of the congregation singing a lively praise chorus greeted him and confirmed he was a few minutes late.

  People were going to begin wondering about him. He’d missed church the day after the wedding because he’d driven Wes and Lauren to the airport. Last Sunday he’d been called to take part in the search for a little girl who had wandered away from her family’s campsite near Mirror Lake. They found her a few hours later, and he was glad to help, but he wanted to be sure and touch base with Pastor Dan today to let him know where he’d been the past couple weeks.

  Glancing into the sanctuary, he searched for a seat near the back then slipped inside as the song ended and everyone sat down.

  Bill nodded to Howard Clarkson, Tipton’s postmaster and owner of the general store. His old friend scooted down and made room for him at the end of the second pew from the back.

  “Good to see you, Bill,” Howard whispered. “Where’ve you been?”

  Bill suppressed a chuckle as he settled into his seat. He supposed this was one of the advantages of attending a small church—people missed you when you were away. “I just got back from North Carolina on Friday.”

  Howard lifted his silver brows. “Visitin’ your folks?”

  Bill nodded. He wasn’t ready to spread the news about the other reason for his trip, and if he told Howard, that’s exactly what would happen.

  The job offer from Hawk Mountain had come through yesterday. He’d thanked them and asked for a few more days to make a final decision. They’d been surprised by his request but agreed to give him until September first. He hoped six days was long enough to find out what Jenn planned to do.

  He’d had a rough time sleeping the last two nights knowing Phillip was in town and Jenn was considering returning to Oregon with him. The decision about the new job also weighed heavily on his mind. Hopefully, he could fill in Wes and Lauren when he picked them up at the airport this afternoon. Maybe they could convince Jenn to send Phillip packing.

  Pastor Dan opened his Bible and began reading Psalm Seventy-seven. As Bill listened, his gaze traveled around the sanctuary. He noticed Tilley sitting two rows in front of him. The woman next to Tilley turned and whispered something to her.

  Bill’s eyes widened as he caught sight of Jenn’s familiar profile. Leaning slightly to the left, he spotted Phillip seated next to her and groaned under his breath. Charlotte Chambers, seated directly in front of Bill, lifted her fussy baby to her shoulder blocking his view. He scooted down the pew until his arm touched Howard’s. The older man turned and raised his silver brows.

  “Sorry,” Bill whispered. “I was just trying to see who’s sitting with Tilley.”

  Howard squinted and then looked back at Bill. “Why, that’s Wes’s sister, Jennifer.” His forehead creased as he sent Bill a confused look. “You brought her into the store and introduced her to me, remember?”

  “Of course I remember,” Bill whispered back. “I’ve just never seen her here before.”

  “Oh, she’s been coming quite a while. At least three or four times, I’d say.”

  Bill’s heartbeat kicked into high gear. “You sure about that?”

  Arlene Clarkson tapped her husband on the thigh with her church bulletin. “The usher is going to ask you boys to step outside if you don’t hush.”

  Bill nodded an apology and slid down to the end of the pew. He tried to focus on Pastor Dan, but his mind and eyes kept drifting back to Jenn.

  Less than three minutes into the sermon Phillip draped his arm around Jenn’s shoulder. A playful look filled his face as he leaned closer and whispered something in her ear.

  Bill clenched his jaw and forced his gaze away. Jenn was here, and she was listening to a great sermon. That’s all that mattered. But he had a hard time convincing himself that was true as he watched Phillip gently rub her shoulder and tickle her neck with a strand of her hair.

  Twenty minutes later, Bill bowed his head and tried to concentrate on the words of the closing prayer. As soon as he heard “amen”, he stood and grabbed his Bible from the
pew. He glanced at Jenn and Phillip, debating if he should hightail it out of there or wait to speak to Jenn. Before he could decide, Julia stepped across the aisle.

  “Hey, Bill. How was your trip?” A warm smile lit up her face as she greeted him.

  “It was good.” He swallowed and forced a half smile. He hadn’t noticed Julia sitting over there.

  “What time are you going to pick up Wes and Lauren?”

  “Around five.” He glanced to the right, checking on Jenn and Phillip. They stood together in the center aisle by their pew. Tilley’s hand rested on Jenn’s arm as she introduced her to a friend.

  “I can’t wait to see them,” Julia bit her lip and leaned closer. “I’ve got some news.”

  Bill focused on Julia again. “What kind of news?”

  Her blue eyes twinkled. “I met someone.”

  Surprise rippled through him. “Really?”

  She nodded. “He came into the office last week to list a house he inherited on Ingram Road. His name is Tanner Winslow. He’s from New Jersey.”

  “Wow . . . that’s great.” Julia deserved someone special, but a questions rose in his mind, and his smile faltered. “He’s committed to the Lord, right?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Of course. I wouldn’t be interested in him if he wasn’t.”

  How many times had he told himself the same thing? But his feelings for Jenn ran deep even though her faith seemed like a small, flickering flame. But being attracted to someone and even caring for them deeply didn’t mean you were right for each other.

  Frowning, he shook off his conflicting thoughts. He’d been praying for Jenn for months, they all had. Now she was coming to church consistently. That had to be a good sign. God must be working in her heart. If only he could talk to her and find out what she was thinking, but it didn’t look like this was a good time. Phillip hovered next to her as she continued talking to Tilley and her friends.

  “Bill?”

  He turned back to Julia. “Sorry, I missed that.”

  “I said, I’d offer to go with you to pick up Wes and Lauren, but I’ve got to help my dad this afternoon.”

  His words caught in his throat as Jenn and Phillip walked up the aisle toward them. She looked amazing in a soft-green dress. But it wasn’t her clothes that held his attention, it was the way her eyes lit up when she saw him.

  A smile bloomed on her lips. “Hi, Bill.”

  He nodded and glanced away, his throat so tight he wasn’t sure if he could speak.

  Julia gave her a quick hug and sent a curious glance at Phillip. Jenn introduced him, only offering his name.

  “I’m Jenn’s fiancé from Oregon,” Phillip added.

  Julia’s eyes widened for a split second, then she reached out and shook his hand. “I’m Julia Berkley. It’s nice to meet you.” As she stepped back, she shot Bill a questioning glance.

  He gripped his Bible and glared at Phillip.

  Tilley stepped into their circle. “Jenn, would you mind picking up Toby from his Sunday school class? I need to catch Martha Hopkins before she leaves.”

  “Okay.” Jenn hesitated, her gaze darting from Phillip to Bill. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I have to run, too,” Julia said, taking Jenn’s arm. “I’ve got an open house in West Harmon at one.”

  Jenn looked over her shoulder at Bill once more before she disappeared into the foyer.

  Phillip rocked back on his heels, a smug smile lifting one side of his mouth. “I’d say it’s good to see you again, but we’re in church, so I shouldn’t lie.”

  Bill shook his head. “You don’t pull any punches do you?”

  “Why should I? You deserve to know the truth.”

  “What?” He snorted. “That you don’t like me?”

  “No, that Jenn and I are leaving on Monday.”

  Bill clenched his fists. “I don’t believe that.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you believe. She’s flying out with me tomorrow night.”

  “She said she’d talk to Wes and Lauren first.”

  “Of course.” He lifted his brows. “We want to personally invite them to our wedding.”

  He grabbed hold of Phillip’s arm. “I know you walked out on Jenn after you saw her burns.” Phillip tried to pull away, but Bill clamped on tighter. “You hurt her like that again, and you’ll have to answer to me.”

  Phillip jerked his arm free. “That will be a little difficult since Jenn and I will be in Oregon and you’ll be here . . . or will it be North Carolina?” He brushed the wrinkles on his shirtsleeve.

  “It doesn’t matter where I go. If Jenn needs me, she can call, and I’ll be there.”

  “Well, don’t hold your breath. She won’t be calling.”

  “I’ll be in touch with her. You can count on it. So don’t think you can pull anything like that again.”

  Phillip’s face darkened. “What happens between Jenn and me is none of your business. You have no claim on her.”

  The truth came crashing down on Bill like a crushing avalanche, pushing the air from his lungs.

  Phillip was right. He couldn’t protect Jenn no matter how much he wanted to.

  “Give it up, Morgan.” Phillip’s smug smile returned. “She’s marrying me.”

  He reeled back. This was his fault. He had forfeited his right to a relationship with Jenn when he decided not to talk about his faith or his feelings for her. That choice had cost him the woman that he loved. He struggled to pull in a breath, then turned and strode out of the church.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Jenn clicked her seatbelt and scanned the church parking lot. Only a few vehicles remained, and Bill’s truck wasn’t one of them. Disappointment tugged at her heart. She’d hoped to find out if he’d accepted the job in North Carolina before she made her decision. It shouldn’t matter. He’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in a future with her. But for some reason she didn’t feel right moving ahead without knowing his plans.

  She glanced across at Phillip, and a queasy feeling hit her empty stomach. They planned to have lunch at the Green Mountain Café before they took a drive, but Jenn wasn’t sure she’d be able to eat anything the way she felt now. She couldn’t really blame Phillip. She was the one whose head and heart were pulling her in two different directions, tossing her poor stomach back and forth between them.

  Mentally, she shook herself. She had to stop thinking about Bill and make an effort to connect with Phillip. He was the one who had traveled all the way across the country to find her and renew their relationship. “So how did you like the service?”

  He started the car and cranked the air conditioning on full blast. “They ought to cool things off in there if they expect people to come to services in the summer.”

  “It was pretty warm, but what did you think of pastor Dan’s teaching?”

  Phillip looked over his shoulder as he backed out of the parking space. “I had a hard time following him. I’m not sure what he was trying to say.”

  She sighed, barely able to hide her frustration. Why couldn’t Phillip have at least tried to listen? His flirtatious teasing had embarrassed her and distracted everyone around them. When she realized Bill was sitting a few rows behind them, watching it all, she’d wanted to crawl under the pew and disappear.

  Jenn forced her attention back to Phillip as he pulled out of the parking lot and sped down the winding two-lane road. They caught up with a slow-moving truck. Phillip muttered and swerved over the double yellow line to pass. A silver van approached in the oncoming lane.

  “Look out!” Jenn gasped and gripped the edge of her seat as they hurtled past the truck and swerved into their lane just in time to avoid a collision with the van. “Would you please slow down?”

  He shot her an irritated glance, but he eased back on the gas. Jenn released her death grip, but her stomach stayed in a tight knot.

  Phillip’s driving wasn’t the only thing bothering her. Personality differences and character issues she’d n
ever noticed before now seemed to stick out like noxious weeds in a lovely garden. How could he have changed so much in five months?

  Closing her eyes, she lay back against the headrest. Father, I’m not sure what to do. Please make it clear to me.

  Portions of the sermon floated through her mind, reminding her God would never leave her or forsake her . . . He would provide everything she truly needed . . . and He loved her with an everlasting love. A slow building sense of peace flowed through her, calming her heart and mind.

  She was the one who had changed.

  She was a different person than the grieving, scarred woman who had arrived on Bill’s doorstep almost four months ago. Her scars hadn’t faded, but they didn’t hold the same power over her anymore.

  Wonder filled her as that realization settled in her heart. How had it happened? The answer came swiftly, tightening her throat with emotion. Bill’s friendship and acceptance had given her the courage to stop hiding her scars, and that had freed her to accept the changes in her life and her appearance. His caring example had helped her open her heart to God, and that was bringing the healing she’d longed for.

  Memories of Bill’s fierce response to Phillip and his warning against returning to Oregon with him rose in her mind, stirring up more doubts.

  Opening her eyes, she turned to Phillip. A shiver traveled through her as she considered what she was about to say, but it was the only choice that made sense.

  “Phillip?”

  He turned to her.

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’m not comfortable with the idea of us living together, and I can’t afford to get my own apartment, so I don’t—”

  Phillip reached across and took her hand. “Please, don’t let a lack of money make this decision for you.”

  “I have to think about it. I have less than two-hundred dollars in my bank account.”

  He smiled and squeezed her hand. “That’s all going to change very soon.”

  A warning flashed through her, and she slipped her hand out of his. “What do you mean?”

  “I was going to wait until we got back to Oregon to talk to you about this.” He sent her a sheepish grin.