“Hey, Dad,” I said, dumping my backpack on the floor and collapsing on the chair that had become my bed.
“Hey, Tiny,” he said, waving toward me.
He was fixated on the game, so I stood and wandered around the room. People had sent flowers and cards, and I picked up a few to read them. They were from fellow teachers or parents of players.
When I found a box of chocolates, I grabbed them and made my way back to the chair. Just as I sat down, the commercials started up.
That broke Dad’s concentration, and he turned to smile at me. “How was school?”
“Good,” I mumbled through a bite of caramel-filled chocolate.
“Find the chocolate Mrs. Benson sent?”
“Yep. It’s delicious,” I said, popping another one in my mouth.
He laughed. “Glad my broken leg can bring happiness to someone.” Then his expression grew serious. “Was Ms. Swallow there today?”
Frustration rose up in my chest. Why was he asking about her? I wanted to say that he’d betrayed me by asking Ms. Swallow to take him home tomorrow. “Why? I thought we’d decided that you were done with her.”
He furrowed his brow. “I never decided that.”
I scoffed and shoved another chocolate into my mouth. “Yes, you did.”
He studied me. “What’s with you?”
It angered me that he couldn’t figure out what was happening. I had to give up the one guy that cared about me because of his ridiculous rules, and yet he could go gallivanting around with my chemistry teacher like it was no big deal.
Out of annoyance, I grabbed the remote and changed the channel.
“Hey!” Dad said, glancing over at me. “I was watching that.”
I shrugged. Before he retorted, a news anchor appeared on the screen.
“This weekend, a contest was held at Disneyland. They were celebrating the fact that the park has now served eight hundred million guests. To commemorate this amazing feat, they were giving away year-long passes to the eight hundred millionth guest.”
The screen flashed to the picture of Tyson, Cori…and me.
I swallowed so hard that a piece of chocolate got lodged in my throat. I coughed and coughed. Dad glanced over at me, and I couldn’t quite read his reaction.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded as tears formed. Finally, the chocolate worked its way down, and I was able to drink away the tickle. The news anchor talked about how we won the passes and to contact the park for more information. Then she moved on to a shooting that happened earlier that day.
Dad and I had stopped listening. Instead, I was focused on Dad and what he was thinking.
He was quiet before he turned and focused his attention on me. “Wanna explain to me why you were in a picture with Tyson and his sister this weekend?”
Anger and shame coursed through me. I was hurt that he had the gall to accuse me when he himself was seeing someone behind my back. But I also knew that I’d made a mistake. I had lied, and no amount of blame was going to cover up that fact.
“I’ve been seeing Tyson,” I blurted out. Well, that was one way of addressing the issue.
Dad’s eyes widened. “You’ve what?”
I swallowed. “I’ve been seeing Tyson. Ms. Swallow put us together as lab partners, and he needed help, so he asked me if I would tutor him. I knew how you felt, but I also didn’t want to say no.” I let out my remaining breath, trying to gauge his reaction.
“You were studying chemistry at Disneyland?”
I shook my head. “No. It started out me helping him, and then we picked up his mom at a bar.” Dad’s mouth dropped open. Crap, I probably wasn’t supposed to say anything. “He probably doesn’t want you to know that,” I muttered under my breath.
Too late. I was already this far in, I might as well finish it. “We started hanging out, and he was at the party I went to with Rebecca. He has to take care of his little sister, so we left the party and went to his house so he could put her to bed.” Why couldn’t I shut up? Dad didn’t ask for every single detail.
I suppose I’d been holding so much of this in that it felt good to finally get it all out. Thankfully I had enough control to keep from spilling about the kiss.
“He asked me to go along with him and his sister to Disneyland. I guess their mom is a piece of work, and she’s more drunk than anything and couldn’t go with them. And you know, since Mom…” My voice trailed off.
Exhaustion overcame me, and I flopped back on the chair, unable to look at Dad anymore. I hated the dissapointment that was written all over his face. I hated that I’d lied. I hated all of this.
“Destiny,” he said, taking the time to say every syllable in my name.
I covered my eyes with my elbow. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
I sat up. What did he just say? I glanced over at him, and he had an apologetic look on his face. I studied him. Was this a joke? “For what?” I’d been the one to break his rule. I’d been the one to lie.
He sighed and fiddled with the fraying hem of his pants turned shorts. “For not being the dad you needed.”
A lump formed in my throat. “Don’t say that. You’re the best kind of dad. You take care of me. You’re there for me. You never abandoned me.” My voice broke and trailed off to a whisper.
“But I dragged you along with the pain I’ve held onto ever since your mom left. You didn’t deserve that. You needed someone to teach you how to forgive. How to move on. And I didn’t do any of that.” He blew out his breath as if what he’d said had been weighing on him for a long time.
I sat up, trying to digest what he was saying. Did he understand why I’d lied to him? And he wasn’t mad? Who took my dad, and what did they replace him with? Because the man sitting in a wheelchair over by the window certainly wasn’t him.
And then it all became clear. He liked Ms. Swallow. And he knew that he was being hypocritical by telling me I couldn’t date Tyson. He was changing his tune so he could date Ms. Swallow.
A brick weight sat on my chest. I’d never felt so betrayed and angry before. This had nothing to do with me or how he had failed me. It had everything to do with the fact that he wanted something and I was standing in his way.
Why couldn’t he have had this revelation days ago? Before Tyson broke up with me, saying that he couldn’t be with me because of the liability I brought? Just my luck, it happened after I might have had a chance with a guy I cared about. Because right now, there was no way Tyson would touch me with a ten-foot pole.
I’d broken his heart.
“Is this because of Ms. Swallow?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “Because no matter how you feel about me dating, I will never feel right about you dating my chemistry teacher.”
Dad’s eyes widened, but I didn’t let him talk. Truth was, I needed to get out of this room and away from my two-faced dad. The person who claimed to want to protect me, but then changed his mind the minute it became inconvenient for him.
“I have to go,” I said, grabbing my backpack and heading toward the door.
“Wait. Where are you going?” he called after me.
I tried to shove away the guilt I felt when I saw him struggle to push his wheelchair over to me. I couldn’t feel sorry for him right now. My anger toward him and Tyson was the only thing keeping me sane. If I let it go, I just might crumble into a pile of ash.
“Away from you,” I said and headed out into the hall. I didn’t need him or want him to follow after me. I needed some time to myself to just think.
I rounded the corner and ran smack-dab into Tyson’s chest. His hands wrapped around my arms as he glanced down at me. A look of concern passed over his face. I forced the tears to retreat. He couldn’t see me cry.
“He’s in there.” I waved behind me as I passed by the entire football team.
I heard Tyson mumble something that sounded like “I’ll catch up with you,” but I didn’t wait to see if I’d heard right. Instead, I got t
o the stairs and pushed open the door. I didn’t want to wait for the elevator.
Tyson must have not realized my escape route because I found myself alone when I got outside. Which I was grateful for. Right?
Shaking off my ridiculous thoughts, I headed straight to the place where I’d parked Dad’s car. His beat-up, blue Chevy sat between two white BMWs. I clicked the key fob that I carried around in my backpack and heard the beep as the car doors unlocked.
“Hey, Tiny. Wait up.”
I heard Tyson call my name from across the parking lot, but I didn’t want to wait. I needed to get out of there.
I pulled open the driver’s door but stopped when Tyson’s hand reached out and caught it. I growled and pushed against his arm. When he didn’t budge, I pushed away from him and met him with the full extent of my anger.
“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” I asked. Crap. I couldn’t keep my tears in check. One escaped and slid down my cheek.
When he didn’t say anything, I glanced up to see him studying me.
I wiped at my cheeks, cursing the fact that he was so calm and I was such a mess. Well, apparently, he wasn’t as devastated by our sort-of-not-really breakup as I was.
“Is that what you want?” he finally asked.
Was it wrong that I hated how caring he looked at this moment? Like the only thing that mattered to him was my happiness. It was something that I longed for and hated at the same time.
“Yes,” I said, but it didn’t come out as confident as I had hoped. Instead, my voice sounded small. A little like the lies I’d been telling since school started.
He dipped down to meet my gaze. “Really?”
Oh, he wanted the real answer. Well, if he wanted honesty, then no, I didn’t want him to leave me alone. As corny as it sounded, he was a part of me and leaving would create a giant, Tyson-sized hole in my heart.
I blew out my breath and folded my arms. “What do you want?”
Good, Destiny. Turn the question on him. Make him as vulnerable as he made you.
Tyson leaned forward, and I could feel his presence wash over me. Despite my efforts, my heart pounded harder.
“The truth?” he asked.
Heat raced to my cheeks, but I kept my cool as I nodded. “Sure. ‘Cause I’m not really sure how things have changed since two days ago when you told me that we couldn’t be together.”
Except they had. Dad pretty much gave me his blessing to date Tyson so he could date Ms. Swallow. But Tyson didn’t know that, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what he’d do with that information.
As if the mention of our time together at Disneyland was the key to my release, he pulled back.
“I…” His voice trailed off as if he wasn’t sure what to say.
Instead of waiting for his answer, I took this moment, when his guard was down, to get into the car.
“I thought so,” I said as I shut the door and started the engine.
He stepped to the side as I pulled out of the parking spot and drove away. Just as I turned onto the main road, the dam broke and tears fell in huge droplets down my cheeks.
I hated how I felt. I hated how I left things with Dad. And now, I hated how I left things with Tyson.
But what I had done was necessary if I was going to protect myself. There was no way I could allow another person into my life who could hurt me. I just needed to survive.
Chapter Twenty
Nothing got better over the next few days. If anything, they got worse. Dad was back and crankier than ever. I tried to tell myself it was because he was trying to maneuver the crazy-packed halls with a wheelchair, but I knew better.
It had everything to do with his promise that he would end things with Ms. Swallow. He even admitted that he hadn’t been fair, treating me that way.
I had nodded and told him I was grateful for his honesty and the fact that he saw the hypocrisy in it all. That hadn’t made his mood any better. He was crabbier at practice, making all the players—especially Tyson—run laps in the lingering summer heat.
I sat in the shade, watching the guys run back and forth. I raised my hand and squinted as I saw Rebecca cheering in the neighboring field. I hadn’t really been able to talk to her since Brutus’s party over the weekend. She’d been really busy with cheer and her blossoming relationship with Colten.
I didn’t agree with it, but what could I do? She was a big girl and could make her own choices. I, on the other hand, was in the market for a life coach. I was done making my own decisions.
After practice, all the guys except Tyson came up to the table and grabbed a glass of water. Once they were hydrated, I began to clean up.
To my relief, Rebecca came running over. Beads of sweat had formed on her brow, and she swiped them away. I wished I had her kind of elegance. Even her sweat looked dainty.
“Hey, Des,” she said, grabbing the remaining glass of water and downing it.
“Bec,” I said, wrapping her into a hug—sweat and all.
She laughed. “You don’t want to touch me. I’m gross.”
I shook my head as I held on. I needed this. I needed at least one person in my life who wasn’t disappointed by my decisions.
She let me hang onto her for a minute longer before I dropped my arms and she pulled away. “Everything okay?” she asked.
I sighed as I started to take down the table. “No. It’s not.”
And that was the truth.
“Oh, no. What happened?”
So I told her. Everything.
Her eyes grew wide at certain points, and her lips turned down at others. When I told her about the mind-bending kiss we’d shared at his house, her lips parted as her jaw dropped.
But when I got to the part that involved the hospital, she grew still. As if she were trying to analyze what I had just told her.
When I finished, I waited for her to say something. I really wanted her to agree with me. To tell me that I had every right to break up my dad and Ms. Swallow and to leave Tyson standing in the parking lot, alone.
“So?” I asked, looking at her expectantly.
She grabbed the water jug and bag of cups. I picked up the table, and we started making our way down to the school.
“So, what?”
I sighed. Loud. “So what do you think?”
She glanced over at me. “Does it matter?”
Frustration boiled up inside of me. “Yeah, kind of.”
“Why?”
Why was she acting so therapist-y on me? “Because you’re my best friend. I want to know what you think.” I left out the part where I wanted her to agree with me, because if she did, it would feel fake.
“You want honesty, Des?”
I nodded.
“I think you’re acting stupid.”
I scoffed, setting the table down to look at her. “Excuse me?”
She turned and sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Well, how did you mean it? There really isn’t a different way to interpret stupid.”
Switching the bag of cups to the hand that held the jug, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s just that, I saw you do the same thing when your mom left. You stopped talking to me for months, remember that?”
I narrowed my eyes. I had some vague recollection of that. But I thought it was because she had been busy with cheer. “But you had cheer.”
“That was the excuse you told yourself. I was there for you, but you shut me out. You were scared I would leave you too, so you left first.”
I studied her. Was that true? I’d kind of blocked out most of that year. If I remembered it, then I would remember the pain that coursed through me when I watched Mom drive away.
I swallowed. I was a horrible friend. “Bec, I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. “You came around eventually. But hearing you talk about Tyson and Ms. Swallow reminds me of how you were back then. How desperately you pushed people away to keep them from hurting you.”
“But I l
et myself care about Tyson. How is that trying to protect myself?” I wanted to tell her that she was crazy. It sounded like she was saying all of this was my fault. When it wasn’t. Right?
“You let yourself care for him when you had an out. Your dad’s ridiculous rule kept you protected. If push came to shove, you could tell him that your dad would forbid you to date and you could leave. It was a clean break. But when your dad changed his mind, suddenly you had no reason to stay away, and the threat of being hurt became real.”
I dragged the table over into the school’s shadow and leaned against wall. “Well, what does that have to do with my dad dating Ms. Swallow?”
Rebecca followed and propped herself up right next to me. “Because she’s a representation of your mom. If you dad likes her and brings her into your life, there’s a chance she could leave you too.” Rebecca grew silent, and I felt her gaze on me.
I swallowed hard. The emotional lump made it difficult to talk. I knew what she was saying was true. If Dad got remarried someday and that woman left, I wasn’t sure I’d survive that. It would just confirm what I had feared forever. That I was unlovable. That everyone would leave me eventually.
This conversation was good, but it left me with just as many questions as I’d started with. “What do I do now?” I stared down at the grass and dug the toe of my shoe into it.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, now that we know how screwed up I am and how I sabotaged every relationship I’ve ever had, what do I do now? How do I”—I drew a circle in the air with my hand—“move forward? Fix this?”
I turned to meet her gaze. Her eyebrows were raised.
“Do you want to fix this?”
Even though fear gripped my heart, the truth was, yes, I wanted to move on. I wanted to be happy. And I wanted those I cared about to be happy. I nodded. “Yeah, I think I do.”
She pushed off the wall and smiled over at me. “Alright. Let’s start operation Fix Des’s Mistakes.”
Rule #1: You Can't Date the Coach's Daughter (The Rules of Love) Page 14
