City of Fate

by Nicola Pierce

  In his confused state Yuri thought she was talking about Anna. ‘Y-yes …,’ he stammered, as he gently released Peter’s arms back to him, gesturing that he was okay now. ‘I just had a bad dream,’ he said. Peter nodded slowly, as if he was a doctor taking care of a difficult patient.

  ‘I thought as much. I knew she’d leave me in the end.’

  Yuri realised that Mrs Karmanova was talking about Tanya and rushed to assure her. ‘She’s working a double shift!’ But it was too late.

  ‘Who is he?’

  He stared at the old woman who sat on a stool facing him. Her face, a mess of wrinkles and lines that he had never noticed before, watched him patiently. Unsure of how to reply, he marvelled at the woman’s intuition as he opened his mouth and confessed, ‘A soldier …’

  She sniffed and said, ‘No surprise there. Where is she gone?’

  Helpless to do anything but admit the truth, Yuri murmured, ‘Germany’. He waited for another question, but there wasn’t one.

  Instead, Tanya’s mother stood up and patted herself down. It was only then that Yuri saw the shopping bag in her hand.

  Even Peter looked on in wonder at the sight of Mrs Karmanova shuffling towards the shattered wall that provided the way out onto the broken street outside. Peter clutched Yuri’s arm, bringing him back to his senses.

  ‘Mrs Karmanova, what are you doing?’ Yuri found his voice was high and breathless with anxiety.

  ‘I’m going out to get some eggs!’

  Gently pushing Peter aside, Yuri jumped up and ran after her, catching her bag as she went to step forward again. She turned quickly to face him, an expression of perfect bewilderment on her face. ‘What’s wrong with you, child?’

  ‘Nothing, I mean, I’m sorry for grabbing your bag but where are you going?’

  Looking around the basement in an exasperated manner, she said, ‘I told you. I’m going for eggs.’

  ‘But … you can’t go outside.’

  Mrs Karmanova’s eyes narrowed, and Yuri found himself facing a very angry woman indeed. ‘And who do you think you are, boy, to tell me what I can’t do?’

  Yuri cursed Tanya inwardly with every swear word he knew. In sheer desperation he begged her mother to explain herself to him, ‘Please, Mrs Karmanova, you haven’t gone mad, have you?’

  She stared at him as if she firmly believed that he was the one who was mad.

  Yuri knew he was babbling but he had to keep talking, ‘It’s just that I don’t know what to do if you are. I really don’t. I’m sorry.’

  Suddenly, his cheek was stinging where she had slapped him with the open palm of her hand. He hadn’t seen her move and would never have expected her to have that much strength. Dazed, he rubbed his face.

  ‘Yuri …?’ Peter sounded upset.

  ‘It’s okay, Peter. It didn’t hurt. Mrs Karmanova is just playing with me because I won’t let go of her bag. That’s all.’ Yuri did his best to sound like he believed what he was saying, for all their sakes.

  Tanya’s mother stood still, hardly seeming to breathe.

  Yuri smiled at her. Why, he couldn’t have said; it just seemed like the easiest thing to do. In fact, he felt like laughing his head off when Peter asked in a shaky voice, ‘But, is she mad, Yuri? Is she?’

  Hoping that Mrs Karmanova would answer Peter’s question, he continued smiling at the old woman until his face began to ache. How many muscles were used for a smile? Yuri was sure that his stepfather had told him once, but he couldn’t remember.

  Peter slowed approached Mrs Karmanova, gawking at her as if she was some exotic creature he had never seen before. Yuri was about to tell him to leave her alone when the little boy took her hand and said, ‘I can help carry the eggs?’

  Yuri snapped, ‘There are no eggs! You know there aren’t. Yes, it would be lovely if we could all go out and fetch a box of eggs from somewhere, but we can’t, because there are none.’ His head throbbed and he longed to lie back down again.

  Peter pouted. ‘Then, I can help her carry whatever she gets. I don’t even like eggs anyway!’

  Yuri’s mouth opened and the words spurted out, ‘Well, isn’t that just great! And what if we could get eggs, what if they were the only food we could find, and there was nothing else to eat? Is that what you would say, that you don’t like them. I bet you’ve never even had one!’

  Peter was shocked at the cruel accusation. ‘Oh yes I did! I had one when I was four and it was horrible.’

  Yuri was about to ask for a more detailed description of his egg experience when a strange half-choking sound silenced him. What on earth was it? Before he could decide what to do, Mrs Karmanova bent over, as if she was going to tie her shoe laces, only she wasn’t wearing laces. Her body shook as the choking sound erupted into a guffaw of laughter – at least, Yuri hoped that’s what it was. As if she could read his mind, Mrs Karmanova wiped the tears out of her eyes and said, ‘Don’t you worry about me, pet. I’m not mad, not really anyway. For a minute I thought I was but you pair have given me exactly what I needed.’

  Peter, longing to understand what he had done, asked, ‘What did we give you?’ His little face gazing up at her set her off again.

  So, hoping he was right, Yuri said, ‘We made her laugh?’

  Tanya’s mother answered his questioning look with a definite nod of her head.

  In one of his inquisitive moods, Peter was determined to know more. ‘But, why did you need to laugh?’

  Mrs Karmanova sighed. ‘Because, my dear child, if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. Don’t you prefer to laugh instead of cry?’

  Peter quickly nodded his head, declaring to all, ‘I love laughing. Ha! Ha! Ha!’

  ‘Hmmm,’ Yuri couldn’t help saying, ‘of course you do; it’s just eggs that you hate.’

  Mrs Karmanova flung her hands in the air saying, ‘Oh, don’t start me off again, Yuri, otherwise I’ll never stop.’

  It made Yuri feel all warm inside; when was the last time he had made someone laugh?

  The sound of shooting in the distance was an unwelcome intruder into the fun. Mrs Karmanova tilted her head slightly to listen to the cracks and rat-a-tat-tat of the guns, asking, ‘How far away are they?’

  It was almost impossible to guess. Snow had fallen in the last few days which helped to make the sounds seem a lot farther away than they actually were. Yuri sighed. ‘I’m not sure. It could be two or three blocks?’ He paused. ‘Though, I can’t hear any footsteps or voices, so maybe it’s more than that.’

  ‘Good enough!’ she said, and smoothed her hair down. ‘Well, boys, how do I look?’

  Peter chirruped, ‘Very nice!’

  Noting the worried expression on the older boy’s face, she put her hands on his shoulders and said, ‘Okay, Yuri, this is how it is. We need food and it isn’t right that we all just rely on you.’

  Yuri shook his head slowly in protest but she was taking charge now. ‘No, listen to me. I want you to go back to bed. You look like you’re about to fall down from exhaustion.’

  He couldn’t argue with this, a wave of dizziness passed through him, making it seem like the walls had bubbled up for a second or two.

  ‘You are skin and bone. So, I’m going to go out today to find food. I swear I need to get out of this basement for a bit or I certainly will go mad. The dirt and dust are getting on my nerves.’

  ‘But it’s worse outside!’ Peter felt it only proper to prepare her for the wrecked streets.

  It all sounded wonderful to Yuri; however he couldn’t give up just yet, ‘Where will you go?’

  Mrs Karmanova seemed confident about her food-hunting plan. ‘I’m going to go to Tanya’s factory to tell them that she needs food in order to work. They must be living on something down there.’

  Yuri wanted very much to believe it was simple as that. ‘Do you think?’

  She clapped her hands together. ‘But, of course. Our tank-makers cannot be allowed to starve, their work is too important.’

  ‘
Can I come?’ Peter was excited about getting out for a walk, and food.

  The merest shadow flickered briefly over the old woman’s face. ‘Shouldn’t you stay here and look after Yuri?’

  To be fair to him, Peter did look guilty as he quickly decided how much he would rather go outside with Mrs Karmanova than stay put with his friend.

  Meanwhile, Yuri was torn between wanting someone else to take charge, only wishing that it was someone other than Mrs Karmanova. As lovely as the last few minutes had been, he could not forget that this woman, as long as he had known her, had seemed much more of a helpless baby than Peter. After all, they had been brought in to mind her. His heart lurched as he remembered Tanya telling him her story and trusting him with it, along with everything else. How can I let her mother go off by herself? Tanya would never agree to this? But, then, hasn’t she gone and left her behind in the middle of a war, with just Peter and me to take care of her? Could I have done that to my mother? Walked away from her and Anna to go to a foreign city because it promised peace? Then again Mama walked away from me. So, what does that mean?

  ‘Why does everyone keep leaving me behind?’ He hadn’t meant to say this last bit out loud.

  Peter was on to him like a leech. ‘What, Yuri? What did you say?’

  ‘Don’t say “what”, say “pardon”’, Yuri muttered, without thinking.

  ‘Sorry!’ said Peter agreeably, before beginning again. ‘Pardon, Yuri? Pardon, what did you say?’

  However, his friend only shook his head and lied, ‘Nothing, it was nothing.’

  Usually this sort of answer would have only made Peter more persistent, but there was no doubting that Yuri looked unwell. Peter stared glumly at him while Mrs Karmanova shoved him in the direction of the blankets. It was extremely cold. Yuri’s teeth chattered as he tried to make a decision that was no longer his to make.

  ‘Yuri,’ said Mrs Karmanova, ‘go lie down. I’ll take Peter with me. I want to find us a few more blankets as well as food and I’ll keep a look out for some warm clothes too.’

  Yuri was incredulous; did she not have the slightest idea of how bad things were outside? There was nothing to be found anywhere. ‘But, Mrs Karmanova, you have to be careful. The Germans, the Nazis, are everywhere.’

  She shrugged. ‘Don’t I know that! How many hours have I sat here listening to them shoot our people? What would they want with an old woman like me? I can do nothing either for or against them.’

  Her words unsettled him as he remembered the old woman, Maria, who had been shot for delivering soup. She and her sisters had thought the same thing, that her old age would protect her. ‘But they do. I mean, they already shot an old woman that …’

  Mrs Karmanova waved a hand at him. ‘They won’t shoot a woman with a child. Now, not another word, we’re wasting precious time!’

  Yuri accepted her statement because he needed to, in order to rest. He might have mentioned about babies and children being shot, but somehow he had managed to forget what had happened at the orphanage. He had one more thing to say and it was to Peter, ‘Stay right beside Mrs Karmanova, and you are not to go and see the children playing today. I’m the only one who knows where they are.’

  Mrs Karmanova looked puzzled so he explained, ‘There is a statue of children laughing and dancing. He likes to visit it but it’s in a dangerous place, opposite the train station.’

  She nodded. ‘Ah, yes, I’ve seen it many times. Lovely it is too. But, yes, we won’t be visiting that today. It’s too far away for my poor legs.’

  Peter was hurt. ‘I wasn’t going to visit it. I didn’t say anything about it. I just wanted to go for a walk.’ His big, brown eyes were full of reproach.

  Yuri recognised the signs. If he laughed at the boy now, there might be tears, so he didn’t. Instead, he apologised, ‘Sorry, Peter. It was just in case you were thinking about it. I know how much you love it. So, you’ll be a good boy for Mrs Karmanova?’

  Peter nodded in silence, punishing Yuri for his lack of faith in him.

  Determined to part on a friendly note, Yuri reminded him to look out for special stones. Over the last few weeks, Yuri had come up with the idea of collecting stones and pebbles that they could pretend were little animals. It was something for Peter to do when they were out trying to find food, and the stones had become toys to play with at ‘home’. So far there were five cows, two horses, one wobbly-looking farmer and three tiny glistening hens, which were really splinters of coloured glass. Yuri was quite proud of his idea. It was the one thing that Stalingrad had plenty of, bits of stones and rocks. He found himself becoming more involved than he had expected to. For instance, some nights, when he couldn’t sleep, he would think about finding crayons or paint to colour the stones to make them look more realistic.

  Peter wanted to make his own contribution, insisting on collecting more stones to make walls and fences, to keep all his ‘animals’ safe, including the insects he also collected. However, the centipedes and beetles would make their escape as soon as he stepped away from them, forcing him to spend most of every morning scrabbling around in the dirt for replacements, new recruits for his ‘farm’.

  ‘You need to find us some sheep,’ said Yuri, as he rebuttoned Peter’s coat, this time pushing the right button into the right hole. Peter pretended not to notice, wanting him to work more before he would give into Yuri’s cheerfulness. Pulling his hat firmly down over his ears, Yuri added, ‘And keep an eye out for stuff we can use to make a farm house, you know, like a cardboard box, or even a tin of some sort.’ There was no way Peter would come across a cardboard box in this weather, but he didn’t know that.

  Eventually, Peter allowed himself to speak, ‘What about the cows?’ His words were slightly muffled by his scarf, as Yuri wound it around his neck and chin. Mrs Karmanova was busy doing the same thing for herself.

  ‘The cows?’ repeated Yuri, trying to make sense of what the small boy meant, and not waste this chance to be friends again.

  ‘Yes,’ Peter gulped mournfully. ‘The farmer has to milk them.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ Yuri grinned. ‘Of course, well, try and find some grass for them and we’ll help the farmer milk them when you come home. Okay?’

  ‘Okay!’ Peter was smiling now, all was forgiven.

  To Yuri’s surprise, Peter suddenly flung himself at him, a bundle of mismatched clothing that smelled of dampness and sweat.

  Mrs Karmanova rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. ‘You two! Come on then, Peter, if you’re coming. I’m leaving right this instant.’

  Yuri experienced some relief as he watched them go. What he didn’t hear was Peter whispering to Mrs Karmanova that he knew where to get food. If he’d heard Peter’s plan, Yuri might have stopped them, although he probably wouldn’t have taken the boy seriously. Yuri just wanted to lie back down again and, just maybe when he woke up Mrs Karmanova would have performed a miracle and there would be something to eat, like a crispy potato, bread covered in jam or, better again, cake.

  His stomach yawned noisily with the hunger. There was a horrible taste in his mouth from going so long without eating. Peter’s breath smelled as bad as his though Yuri would never say that to him. His young companion could be so sensitive about the silliest little things. When Yuri’d joked about his dirty fingernails, a few days ago, Peter had ignored him for three hours, forcing Yuri to answer his own questions as if he was putting on a play based on the two of them.

  Yuri drifted off to sleep once more. There was a goofy smile on his face as he dozily pondered the idea that when Peter was grown-up he would be worse than his Aunt Sarah. She once stayed away from his mother’s house for two months because his stepfather made fun of her hat.

  All was quiet when he opened his eyes, except that from somewhere outside he thought he could hear the heavy toll of a church bell. He shook his head to wake himself up. There were no bells left in the city so he must still be dreaming. It suddenly occurred to him to ask God to do just one thing
, kill Hitler – surely that would be the answer to everything.

  Since there was no need to move, he stayed beneath the blankets. His feet and hands were numb with cold. The sensible thing to do would be to get up and move around. He promised himself that he would do just that in a few minutes. In the meantime, he wanted to try and find his dream again so that he could add to it while he was awake, take charge of it and pump it up until it was a proper story with a happy ending: Tanya, Peter and him living together as a family. Mrs Karmanova was there too, living in a flat he had built especially for her. He and Tanya enjoyed perfect days together, beneath a cloudless blue sky and golden, yellow sun. They swam together in the Volga, he trying not to stare at her in her black … no, blue swimming costume, her dark hair trailing behind her in the water as she does her best to catch up with him, but he is much too fast and too strong a swimmer. He only stops when he hears her crying out in laughing defeat, ‘Oh Yuri! Come back!’ He had been waiting for this very moment to turn around and splash his way back to her. Then, just before he reaches her, he dives underwater. Grabbing her ankles, he pretends he is about to pull her down, but he would never do that; he would never frighten her like that. At the last moment he springs up, drenching her while she screams his name over and over again, ‘Yuri! Yuri!’

  Yuri blinked in confusion, checking that he was awake. He was, so how could it be that he could still hear her calling him. ‘Yuri! Get up!’ And why did he suddenly feel terribly afraid? The basement was dark and still, as if waiting, like him, in dread of the explanation.

  Tanya’s voice grew shriller, ‘Are you in there, Yuri? Come quick, it’s Peter!’

  No! he thought. No, it’s not, and didn’t move.

  GERMANS IN PAVLOV’S HOUSE

  ‘It’s too quiet. Something is up.’ Sergeant Pavlov sniffed the air, hungry for information. He asked Vlad what time it was.

  ‘Coming up to midday, sir.’

  ‘They’re on the prowl. I feel it in my bones.’

  His men didn’t doubt him for a second.