Nothing to Lose But My Life

by Louis Trimble

  “She’s too much asleep. I’ve seen her this way before. She might as well have taken sleeping pills. Don’t worry, Lowry. I know she had a crush on you, but we won’t destroy any of her illusions.”

  There was something hypnotic about her soft, husky voice, about the touch of her hands caressing my forehead. And it all seemed genuine. If Tanya was putting it on, then she was the world’s best actress. Or maybe I wanted to think that she felt this way about me.

  I forced myself to say, “I still need Enid. She’s my pipeline.”

  “You don’t trust me, do you, Lowry?”

  “No, sorry.”

  “Because I won’t tell you what I can’t—yet?”

  “Because of the way you feel about Nikke,” I said.

  “You do hate him, don’t you?”

  I was bitter, remembering. “I’ve hated him for over five years, Tanya. I’ve nursed that hate. I’ve found no reason to stop. And after this—”

  “I know all about it,” she said. “About your wife and the Colonel. About the court case—all of it.”

  “Nikke told you?”

  “Nikke told me,” she agreed. “I’m sorry, Lowry. We all have it tough one way or another. You got it a little tougher than most.”

  “Thanks for the pity.”

  “So bitter,” she murmured. “So damned bitter.”

  “You love Nikke, don’t you, Tanya?”

  “Very much.”

  “And Nikke loves you?”

  “Very much,” she said again.

  I twisted my head so that I could look into her face. She was smiling down at me, a gentle smile. Slowly, as our eyes met, the smile changed. Her mouth ripened, filled out, seemed redder, more moist. Her head came down, her lips seeking mine.

  I had kissed a lot of women, but kissing Tanya was a new experience. At first I thrust her away, involuntarily, as if protecting myself. I twisted aside and got to my feet, and she followed me. Her eyes were half shut, her lips parted. She reached for me.

  I could no more have pushed her aside again than I could have flown down the Slope. My mind threw out a feeble warning and then it was gone, engulfed.

  I could hear myself saying her name over and over and hear her repeating mine. The satiny silk of her pajamas melted away and my hands were on her cool-hot flesh. I said once, “Nikke?”

  “Nikke isn’t here, Lowry.”

  And later, I said, “What if Enid should wake up?”

  “She won’t. Anyway, I don’t care. I don’t care, Lowry.”

  And she said, “God, Lowry, you’re rough.”

  I was half out of my head. “I’m taking part of my revenge against Nikke,” I said.

  • • •

  “You want to hate me, don’t you?” Tanya asked. She was coming from the kitchen with coffee. It had simmered until it was dark and thick and rancid. I needed it. I was shaking.

  “I can’t.”

  Tanya sat down and tried the coffee. She made a face. “Lowry, it’s nearly daylight. What are you going to do with the body?”

  It was a matter-of-fact question and it deserved a matter-of-fact answer. “I thought of dumping it in the murderer’s lap,” I said.

  “You mean take it to my place?” She was laughing at me again.

  “I hoped you could give me the answer I need,” I said.

  “I can—to a point. Don’t take it to my place—or Nikke’s.”

  “That doesn’t leave much, does it?” I rubbed a hand over my face. It was bristly. “Look at my position, Tanya. Who’s a better suspect?”

  “No one. Certainly not me. He hadn’t changed his will in my favor or anything like that.”

  “If you were being forced into marrying him, that gives you a motive.”

  “Who’d tell—you?”

  “Enid.”

  “I doubt if Enid knows it—when she’s normal. It’s probably something she picked up when she was—like she is now. And who would believe her?”

  “I wouldn’t tell,” I had to admit. I took a deep breath. “Look, I have to operate from some kind of an assumption. I have two choices—that you or Nikke or both of you framed me, or that you’re telling the truth. If I decide you’re telling the truth, then I have to start over. Who wanted to kill Hoop?”

  “Who didn’t?” Tanya said. There was no humor in her voice.

  “Conklin, maybe.”

  “They’re business associates. He could want to, I suppose. But he’s made a lot of money out of the Colonel’s contacts. I can’t see why he should kill him.”

  I hung on to the subject. “Where did you and he go after you left Hoop’s last night?”

  “I stopped for a drink,” she said. “Then I went to a drive-in for a sandwich. I was still upset so I came home and rested before going to the party.” She paused a moment.

  “I don’t know what Charles did,” she said then. “I didn’t pay any attention and I was too mad to care as long as he didn’t try to bother me.”

  “You were pretty late getting to Sofia’s,” I said.

  I stayed home until I felt calm enough to face Charles,” she said. “I know, I had lots of time to kill the Colonel and plant him here. So did Charles, I suppose. So did a lot of other people.”

  “Hoop wasn’t home when you went there?”

  She shook her head. “No. I was supposed to meet him at a quarter to seven and have a bite of supper and then we were to go together to the party. Dobbs, the butler, asked me to wait in the library. The Colonel was supposed to come down in a minute. But it was Charles who came in.”

  “But Hoop didn’t appear?”

  “No.”

  “Weren’t you suspicious?”

  She shrugged. “We often ate in the library before the fire. It was his favorite room. But sometimes when we were to eat together, he’d call and say he was detained. Then, if it wasn’t to be too long, I’d eat alone and wait for him.”

  “He called then?”

  “No,” she said, “Charles came in and told me that he and the Colonel had business and I wasn’t to wait. I assumed they’d been in contact. I started to go when Charles told me he wanted me to marry the Colonel sooner than we’d planned.”

  “When had you planned?”

  She smiled at me. “I’d kept it indefinite, Lowry.”

  That was as good as telling me she had been working on Hoop for reasons of her own and that she had no intention of marrying him. And again suspicion flared; I wondered just what game she had been playing.

  I said, not wanting to follow up that phase of the subject right then, “That butler told me Hoop was in an important conference.”

  Tanya smiled. “I was probably the conference. The Colonel often came directly into the library from stairs that led up to his bedroom. Dobbs didn’t necessarily have to see him to think he was there.”

  That interested me. “Very neat,” I said. “Then the Colonel could go directly up to his bedroom from the library—or take someone up?”

  Tanya wasn’t insulted. “Yes, he could. But he didn’t take me up.”

  No, not her. I found it more impossible than ever now to imagine an intimate relationship between Tanya and Hoop. I said, “But if someone could have got up to his bedroom, they could have slipped down and killed him when he was alone in the library—or gone from the library up to the bedroom and killed him—and Dobbs would never have known.”

  “I suppose so,” she said. “All of his friends know about the arrangement. For an outsider, though, it would take a good second-story man to get up to his balcony and into the bedroom.”

  “Nikke has men like that available,” I said.

  “You’re letting your hate eat you up, Lowry.”

  I countered, trying to get back at her, “Why did you make love to me, Tanya, if you’re so fond of Nikke?”

  “I’ll tell you some time,” she said.

  I couldn’t best her. I went back to the other subject. “When you were home resting, did a car drive up here?”
>
  “No,” she said. “Not even Enid, if that was what you were wondering”

  I shook my head. “Enid couldn’t have carried him inside. He’s heavy. A dead body of any kind is heavy. It took a man or men”

  “I don’t know,” Tanya said thoughtfully. “I brought him down from my garage. I had to drag him but I got him here.”

  She could have slapped me and I wouldn’t have been more startled. I had been wavering toward trusting her. accepting what she had told me—and now she came up with this.

  “Damn it—” I began.

  She got up and moved toward the fire. “I can tell you that much, Lowry. It won’t make any difference except in what you think about me. That’s why I didn’t say anything before. I had to think it over.”

  It sounded lame. “Why tell me now?”

  “Because.” she said, “the more I think of it, the more I realize you’re in a bad spot. I thought at first we could move the body and that would protect you. Now I’m not sure. Once the local police realize you’re Malcolm Lowry, they won’t hesitate. And whoever killed the Colonel in the first place is going to let them know about you, you can be sure of that.”

  “Then you think it’s a frame on me?”

  “I’m positive,” she said. “Either that or you’re a damned fool and you really did do it.” She took a handkerchief from her pajama pocket, unfolded it and brought out a piece of paper “This was on the body,” she said. “I found the Colonel on my garage floor. as if someone had pushed him from a car and left him there. I took this before I brought him down here.”

  She handed me the paper. I unfolded it, although I didn’t need to, I recognized the receipt I had left for the Colonel Only I had put it in his strong box and put the strong box back in the safe

  I said, “It’s possible Hoop found this—I left it for him—and had it with him when he was killed.”

  “It’s possible,” Tanya agreed, “only it was tucked half in his breast coat pocket as if to make sure the police wouldn’t miss it.”

  I said, “There are a lot of things I want to know about. One, why did you bring him down here?”

  “It seemed the least likely place anyone would think of to look for him. I was going to move him again as soon as I got the chance.”

  “With my help?”

  Her smile was submissive. “Maybe that’s one reason I stored him in that bedroom.” She had to giggle. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t do it to shock you away so you wouldn’t go to bed with Enid.”

  “No,” I said reasonably, “finding a corpse in my bed would be more apt to drive me into hers.” I didn’t tell her that I was still wondering, that I wasn’t sure her reason for bringing the body here was a particularly acceptable one.

  “How was he dressed when you found him?” I asked “Naked,” she said promptly. “Except for one of his own blankets wrapped around him. His clothes were laid inside the blanket.”

  His own blanket. He’d probably been brought from his own house dead if that was the case. My first theory was right, I thought. He’d been killed either in his bedroom or his library and most likely by someone who knew his—or her—way around the house.

  But right now thinking wasn’t getting us anywhere. I said as much to Tanya. She agreed it was time we did something and went to her place to dress. I spent the time getting things ready.

  First I looked in on Enid. She was sleeping peacefully, her expression almost normal again. I couldn’t really be sure that it meant anything, but to play it safe I scrawled a note and propped it on the nightstand. I didn’t want her to wake up, find herself alone, and start remembering. She had had it tough enough for one time.

  Tanya was quick. She came down wearing a beach robe and sandals and carrying a towel. In her other hand, she had a little canvas flight bag. She handed it to me. Inside were a pair of trunks, a terrycloth robe and a towel. All were nice and new.

  “I bought them for you yesterday, Lowry,” she said. “I guessed at the size.”

  Considering how I’d been pawed when she was dressing my ribs, I doubted if my size had been much of a mystery. I said, “For what—swim in November?”

  “I like it,” she said. “I was hoping we might go sometimes—early in the morning.” She saw me looking at her and flushed. “All right, so that’s the way I felt about you ever since I saw you examining us in the hotel dining room mirror. But I don’t do it for every man I meet.”

  “I thank you for the compliment, ma’am,” I said, “but this is hardly the time for me to model this outfit.”

  Tanya had to laugh. That made me feel better. I wanted her loose and free, not taut for the job that lay ahead. She said, “Can you think of a better costume for being out so early in the morning? If we should be stopped …”

  I didn’t even want to think about that. Going into the bathroom, I made the change, bundled up my clothes and put them in the trunk of the Lincoln along with Hoop’s, and then went back and looked down at the bundle that was Hoop.

  “All right,” I said.

  Tanya looked a little pale. “All right, Lowry.”

  We had only to take him through the kitchen, into the garage, and then maneuver him into the rear of the Lincoln. But Hoop was no lightweight and he had grown stiff. It was no pleasure handling a dead man, especially for Tanya who was on her second round. Both of us were panting and sweating—and shaking a little—by the time we had him on the floor in the rear.

  Tanya lit cigarettes for us while I warmed up the motor. When the car was ready, she opened the garage doors and closed them after I was out. Around us was dull gray but full-fledged daylight.

  “We picked a hell of a time,” I observed.

  “Where are we going, Lowry?”

  “In these outfits there’s only one place—the beach.”

  “Wonderful!” She smiled at me as proudly as though I’d discovered some of the secrets of the universe. “No corpse, no crime.”

  “Huh?”

  “In the harbor,” Tanya said. “We can sink him.”

  The directness of the feminine mind in handling apparently complicated matters never failed to surprise me. My first reaction was to agree with her, but then I had an idea.

  “I don’t want him to disappear,” I said. “I just want to postpone having the spotlight turned on me. Ultimately, I think this little trick may help me get what I want. But if we could get him onto his cruiser—” I stopped and added, “He still has one?”

  “Naturally,” Tanya said dryly. “It’s kept in Charles’ boathouse.” She was all smiles. “That’s a wonderful idea, Lowry!”

  And so it seemed—until we got down to the details. The boathouse was easy enough of access, but to drive right up to it would mean exposing ourselves to view from the house. Even if it was an ungodly hour of the morning, we couldn’t risk it. Someone just might be awake up there. That left two alternatives: to park in the trees at the side and carry him around, hoping we wouldn’t be observed where a car might, or try to bring him in from the water side.

  “How well do you swim?” I asked her.

  “With all this arm and leg, fast.” Tanya looked down at herself. “I’m very bouyant too.”

  “Then let’s try it this way.” I detailed my idea. Tanya made suggestions based on her better knowledge of the boathouse. Finally we reached a working agreement. It sounded like simplicity itself.

  I swung around the Hill, taking a gravelled road that ended up on the coast and on its way went along the edge of the trees that separated it from the Hill properties. Those trees were actually a miniature forest, and here and there faint dirt tracks went in where trucks had gone in for wood. By following one of these tracks, I managed to get us near the boathouse and, at the same time, almost on the beach. It looked like a good spot with the car completely screened from view by the trees.

  So far so good. We maneuvered the body out of the car and to the edge of the trees where they met the beach. The entrance to the boathouse was no
t ten feet away. It was so close that I was almost tempted to try the land entrance. But there was no point in taking chances. I glanced out over the water. It appeared gray and quiet between sprays of mist rising from it. It was not a cloudy day; soon the sun would rise and burn that mist away. We had to hurry if we wanted to take advantage of it.

  “Let’s make a run for it,” I suggested.

  Tanya took off her beach robe and so did I. Bending, she got a grip on his ankles. I took the armpits again, hating the feel of that hard head beating against my now bare stomach. Tanya poised herself.

  “Go!”

  We went, dashing across the pebbly sand and trying to look like two people out for a morning swim, running with one of those inflated rubber beach monstrosities. Tanya hit the water first. I could hear her gasp. The first shock was always that way, even in summer. Afterwards it was pleasant.

  I gasped too but not because of the water. Tanya hit a hole and lost her grip. Hoop started sliding away from me when the water was up to my knees. A fair-sized wave chose that moment to break behind me and then roll back. The suction was more than I had bargained for. That and wetness took him right out of my hands.

  “I lost him!”

  “Shut up,” Tanya whispered hoarsely. She reached and missed. She reached again and then kicked with her legs and went under. I followed, striking out through the waist-deep water on foot. It shelved suddenly and I had to swim. I couldn’t see anything but fog now. There was no sign of Tanya or Hoop.

  Her green bathing cap popped up a few feet to my right.

  “He’s being pulled out and down, damn it,” she whispered at me.

  I took a deep breath and dove. It was murky enough to begin with, and after a few feet I couldn’t see a thing. I was out of training for this sort of work and I had to surface more quickly than normally. Tanya was gone.

  I went down again as she came up. I could tell by her expression that she had had no luck either. We spent a good hour in that damned water. But the currents there and the sudden shelving were too much for us. Unless he’d got hung up on a rock somewhere, we had no chance of finding him.

  Finally we swam back to the beach. Tanya walked wearily out of the water. She looked at me and began to cry. “I’m sorry, Lowry. I didn’t mean to drop him. I—”