A Rocker and a Hard Place

by Keane, Hunter J.

  In the weeks before school started up again, I formed a plan. The high school was hosting a back-to-school dance the Friday before classes began. I convinced Emma that we should go, claiming that it would be a good chance for us to make new friends, or just make fun of our classmates’ lame attempts at dancing. Emma was always up for a good laugh, so she agreed.

  My hand shook when I knocked on her front door. My other hand, holding a bouquet of flowers, shook harder. Emma’s dad answered the door.

  “Hey, Tyler. Emma will be right down.” When he first opened the door, he barely glanced at me. He was used to me coming over to see his daughter. But then he noticed the flowers, and my new dress shirt.

  He let out a long sigh, then gave me a resolved smile. “Good luck, kid.”

  Just like that, I had his blessing. If his daughter was onboard with us becoming more than friends, James would accept it too. Half of the battle done, I waited anxiously for Emma to appear.

  When she skipped into the front hall, she took my breath away.

  She wasn’t usually very girly, preferring t-shirts and sports to dresses and makeup. But her aunt had come over and helped her curl her hair. And she was wearing her cousin’s dress, a light blue number that matched the summer sky. She looked perfect.

  “Hi, Emma.” My voice cracked.

  Her eyes went wide as she took in my combed hair and nervous smile. She saw the flowers next and asked, “What’s going on, Ty?”

  “We’re going to a dance,” I said, trying to act like it was no big deal. If only my hands would stop shaking.

  “Okay.” She took the flowers from me and backed away slowly. “I’ll just put these in some water.”

  James was watching from the living room door and he gave me a sympathetic smile. At least I had someone in my corner.

  On the way to the dance, I stopped Emma under a streetlight. “I didn’t say anything earlier, but you look really beautiful tonight.”

  “Stop being weird,” Emma said with a shaky laugh.

  “I can’t.” I shrugged helplessly. “I like you, Emma.”

  “No.” She started to back away.

  “Wait. Please don’t go.” I took her hand.

  “Tyler, stop talking. Let’s just go to the dance.” She glanced around, looking for an escape route. She looked at me with pleading eyes. “Don’t do this.”

  “I don’t have a choice.” I had come this far, and I wasn’t going to back down now. “Be my girlfriend, Em. I love you and I’m pretty sure you love me, too.”

  It was the first time I had ever said those words to anyone and it felt wonderful. I repeated them. “I love you, Emma.”

  Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes as she furiously shook her head. “We’re friends, Tyler. Just friends.”

  “You know that’s a lie.” I laughed.

  There had been so many moments during our friendship- long looks, avoided eye contact, hands brushing as we walked next to each other, secret smiles. We had both known this was coming.

  “Tyler.” She looked up at me, her face falling just a bit. “I can’t lose you as my friend.”

  “That will never happen, Emma. I’ll be your friend, for as long as we live.”

  Very slowly, she smiled. “Then here’s to a long, long life.”

  Right there, on the street where we grew up, our lips met for the first time. Aside from the hasty peck on the cheek so many months ago, this was my first kiss. Later, I would find out it was hers, too. There would be many more after that, but this one would always be my favorite.

  Now that I was back in town, I had to make things right with Emma. Maybe she would fight me at first, but just like when we were two kids in love, I would find a way to win her over. One thing I knew for certain, Emma Wellington had a weak spot for me and I planned to exploit it.

  “You again.” The same girl was working the register.

  “Me.”

  I noticed that she was wearing a nice dress today, and her hair was styled. Arrogantly, I wondered if she had been hoping to run into me again today. I shook the thought from my head.

  “Is Emma around?”

  She yelled for her boss and turned back to her cell phone. Aware that she was probably sneaking pictures of me to send to her friends, I moved further away.

  Emma approached me with arms crossed over her chest. She certainly had not been hoping to run into me today.

  “Really?”

  “Hello to you, too.” I smiled despite the chilly reception. Now that I was determined to make things right with her, her cold demeanor wasn’t going to deter me. “I need to pick up some supplies.”

  “You need my help for that?”

  I shrugged. “You are the proprietor, are you not? I’m the customer… You see where this is headed?”

  “Fine.” She threw up her hands. “What do you need?”

  “Hammer. Nails. The works.” I showed her my damaged hands. “Gloves would be good, too.”

  “You don’t have any of that in your old garage?” She looked at me skeptically.

  Believe it or not, I used to be quite handy. I had liked to build things with my hands and my dad had kept his car parked in the driveway just so I could store my tools and materials in the garage. But after so many years, most of the tools were rusty.

  “I need to replace some things. Dad’s porch got destroyed in the storm.”

  “That’s a shame,” she said, her first non-hostile words.

  I smiled sadly. “Yeah, it is. I have a lot of really nice memories on that porch.”

  Her cheeks flushed. “I have one or two myself.”

  “Yeah, you do.” I detected a faint trace of a smile on her face. Now was my chance. “Emma, I know you’re busy with the store and your son, but I’d really like a chance to talk to you.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tyler.” She was back to business. “Let’s get you what you need so you can be on your way.”

  I left the store with several bags of supplies and promises of a lumber delivery later in the day.

  “If you weren’t such a fancy boy now, we could load the wood into your truck right now,” Emma said with a pointed glance out the window at my “fancy” car. She seemed disappointed that I had left my country roots behind.

  On the way out of the store, I ran into Emma’s son again.

  “Still trying to get those uniforms?” I asked.

  His money jar looked slightly fuller today, but I suspected most of the money was from my donation yesterday.

  “Do you have any idea how expensive uniforms are?” he said quite seriously.

  “I don’t. But let me help you out.” I shoved more twenties into his hand.

  “That’s real generous of you, mister. I really appreciate it.” He sounded very much like his mother just then.

  “Do me a favor?” I asked

  “Sure!”

  I leaned down, meeting his eye level. “Put in a good word for me with your mom?”

  “Done.” He grinned. “She’s a tough one to charm.”

  He was wise beyond his years. And dead right about his mother.

  “That’s why I need your help.”

  “I’ll do my best.” He moved toward the store. “See ya around!”

  For a second, I remembered standing in Emma’s house the night of the dance, glad to have her father in my corner. Now I was feeling the same way, only it was her son that had my back. Hopefully, I would get lucky and Emma would fall for my charms twice.

  I just hoped I hadn’t run out of second chances.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Emma

  Seeing Tyler again wasn’t any easier the second time. He looked good. Sure, his eyes were bloodshot, and I detected he was just a bit hung-over, but time had served him well. He had gone from a cute teenager to a striking man.

  I sent him away as soon as possible, but my resistance was starting to seem pointless. I knew from experience how stubborn Tyler could be when he had his heart set on
something, especially if that something was me.

  Charles was due into work in the afternoon to run deliveries, but he called in sick an hour before his shift. That meant I would be stuck taking Tyler’s delivery myself.

  Aunt Karen had been watching T.J. since noon and she agreed to stay with him while I finished work. Maggie helped me load everything into the truck and then I drove to Tyler’s place as slowly as possible.

  He was outside, digging in the dirt in front of the house where the porch once stood. It was a hot day, and he had taken his shirt off.

  “Of course,” I muttered to myself.

  When I pulled next to the curb, he straightened and turned. My pulse raced.

  Tyler was no longer the boy I remembered. He was definitely a man. A strong, handsome man.

  I took a deep breath and opened the truck door.

  He met me at the back of the truck, sweat glistening on his chest. I tried my best not to stare and failed.

  “I knew you couldn’t stay away,” he said, dazzling me with a smile.

  “Charles called in sick,” I said.

  Tyler nodded like he didn’t believe me. “If you say so.”

  “Let’s just get this unloaded.” I hated that I was so attracted to this man that had broken my heart.

  We worked quickly to unload the wood. By the time we finished, I was sweaty, too.

  “Would you like something to drink? Glenn’s wife had him bring down some tea earlier.”

  I started to reject his offer immediately, but then changed my mind. Glenn’s wife made good tea. “That would be nice.”

  “Come on inside,” he said.

  We had to enter through the garage and I saw a pile of rusty tools on the workbench. At least Tyler hadn’t been lying about that.

  It had been so long since I had been in that house, but it didn’t feel strange to be there. In many ways, it had been a second home to me and I still felt comfortable among the old furniture and scratched floors.

  We had our iced tea in the living room, under the watchful eyes of Tyler’s parents. I had never met Tyler’s mother and I’d never heard him speak a bad word about her. Even after she had run out on her family, Tyler had still loved her.

  “The place looks good,” I said.

  “It’s good enough for now.”

  “Have you heard from your mother?” I asked.

  When Tyler became famous, a lot of people had tried to reach out to him. It would only figure if his mother had done the same.

  “I actually tried to find her a few years ago,” he admitted quietly. “She’s somewhere in Mississippi. She has a new family.”

  I knew that Tyler must have been destroyed when he learned that. It was one thing to think that she left because she didn’t want to be a mother; it was entirely worse to know that she just hadn’t wanted to be his mother.

  “How’s your dad? Glenn mentioned that he got sick a while back.”

  I took a sip of tea and braced myself. “He died. About four years ago.”

  Tyler’s head snapped up and his eyes flashed. “I didn’t know.”

  I shrugged. Tyler had cut off everyone from Salvation when he left. How could he possibly have learned about my dad’s passing? I knew that was the case, but at the time part of me had still been upset when I didn’t hear from him.

  “I’m so sorry, Em.”

  His words cut straight through me.

  “It’s in the past.” I blinked a few times, just to be sure that no tears would fall. I had cried too many tears because of Tyler and I wouldn’t waste any more on him.

  “T.J. seems like a good kid,” Tyler said.

  I smiled. “He’s the best thing in my life.”

  “Is his dad…”

  “Not around,” I confirmed. “He left me.”

  “He sounds like an asshole.”

  Again, I smiled. “You’re not wrong about that.”

  Tyler cleared his throat and coughed. His leg was shaking, a sign that he was about to say something I wouldn’t want to hear.

  “Emma, I know that I hurt you. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me forever. What I did… I regret all of it. You deserved so much more than me. I was never good enough for you.”

  “Tyler, I don’t want your apology.”

  He held up a hand to stop my objection. “Too bad. You deserve an apology. I was a jerk. I didn’t know what I had with you until I didn’t have it anymore. If I could go back…” He stopped, his voice choking with emotion. “I would change everything, Emma. I would give up everything I have to fix things with you.”

  If he had said those words to me ten years ago, I would have rushed into his arms. All I wanted back then was for Tyler to realize his mistake. But I was a grown woman now and his actions had bigger consequences than he even realized.

  “I’m seeing someone,” I said, lifting my chin defiantly. “His name is Connor, and he is a wonderful man. He loves me and he loves my son.”

  I didn’t mention that I had been avoiding Connor’s calls since Tyler had gotten into town, and that it wasn’t just a coincidence. I didn’t tell Tyler that I often caught myself comparing Connor to him, and that Connor never quite lived up to the memory of Tyler. I couldn’t even admit those things to myself.

  “I’m happy for you, Em. I really am.” But Tyler didn’t sound happy at all. He sounded broken. “You deserve happiness.”

  “So do you, Tyler.”

  As angry as I had been with him over the years, I still wanted him to be happy. For so many years of my life, he had given me so many days of happiness. I hadn’t forgotten that.

  “I should go.”

  T.J. would be waiting for me to pick him up from Aunt Karen’s house. I needed to make sure he’d had dinner. But I didn’t really want to leave Tyler yet.

  “Do you remember the night of that snowstorm?” he asked suddenly.

  It shocked me- then made me blush. Of course I remembered that night.

  It was the worst winter we’d had in a few decades. The morning of the blizzard, we already had several inches of snow on the ground. My father was out of town, visiting his parents, and school was cancelled.

  Tyler swung by and picked me up and we went back to his place. His dad was out of town, too, on the road for work. His semi-truck had broken down in a different state and he wouldn’t be home for at least a few days. Neither of us had wanted to be trapped in our homes alone while we waited out the storm, so I took an overnight bag with me to Tyler’s place.

  We spent a lot of the day watching the snow and writing music. In many ways, it wasn’t much different from any of our other days together. We had been dating over two years at that point, and it was safe to say that we were madly in love. In another year and half, we planned to leave town together.

  By nightfall, over two feet of snow covered the ground. Tyler started a fire in the fireplace and piled blankets and pillows on the floor in front of it. We roasted marshmallows and drank hot chocolate. Tyler pulled out his guitar and sang a song he had written just for me. It was the most beautiful song I had ever heard. He strummed the last chord and I took the guitar from him.

  “Tonight,” I said, confidently. “I want us to be together.”

  He laughed uncertainly. “We are together, Em.”

  I shook my head and then it clicked for him.

  “Oh.” His eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”

  Two-and-a-half years he had waited patiently- a lifetime for a teenage boy. I’d never once had to explain why I wasn’t ready, but that night I had to convince him that I was. He went slow- asking repeatedly if I was okay. Eventually, I took control, knowing that Tyler was too worried about hurting me to be able to really commit to the act.

  Afterward, we held each other in front of the fire. I loved him more in that moment than I ever had before and I was certain we would be together forever.

  “That’s still my favorite night of my life,” Tyler said, pulling me out of my revere.

  I smiled s
oftly. “It was a really good night.”

  “But not your favorite?” he asked curiously.

  “One of my favorite. But not the most favorite.” I had one other night that beat that one. I wasn’t ready to share it with him. “I really do need to go.”

  Tyler walked me to my truck, hands tucked into his pockets. He was wearing a shirt now, making it slightly easier to be so close to him.

  “I’ll see ya around?” he asked hopefully as he opened the door for me.

  I slid into the truck and focused on turning the key. “I’m sure you will.”

  But I didn’t see Tyler the next day. The store was closed on Mondays and I spent the day catching up on laundry and hanging out with T.J. School had just ended and summer camp didn’t start for another couple of weeks. I enjoyed spending time with him, marveling at how much he seemed to grow up each day.

  “Mom. Are you ever going to get married?”

  His question surprised me. We had never talked about marriage, or my love life. I kept him as far removed from that as possible.

  “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

  He shrugged. “That rich man seems to like you. Maybe you should consider marrying him.”

  My jaw dropped. Tyler. My son thought that I should marry the man that had broken my heart so many years ago.

  “Why in the world do you think that? You don’t even know him.”

  “He seems nice. He gave me more money yesterday.” T.J. was easily swayed by people that were nice to him. He was a lot like his mother that way.

  “T.J., you don’t marry someone just because they have a lot of money to give away.”

  “There are worse reasons to marry someone,” he said wisely.

  I needed to keep better track of what television shows he watched. “Let’s stop talking about this, okay?”

  “Are you going to marry Connor?” he said instead.

  The two of them had only met a handful of times. I had told Tyler that Connor loved my son, but that was an exaggeration. They barely knew each other. I didn’t like for T.J. to get too attached to the men that I dated. There hadn’t been many over the years, but the two or three guys I had dated seriously had always left. It was okay if they left me, but I didn’t want them to be leaving T.J., too.