Wild Passion

by Dawn Luedecke

  “I’d venture to guess so, but she needn’t worry. Once I go, she’ll get all my money. She’s the closest thing I got to a daughter.”

  “So why don’t you buy out her father? Change up a few things and get the business on track again?”

  “I tried, but James said he won’t take no charity from a woman. He’s a donkey’s ass that way.” A smile grew across the weathered woman’s face as she stared at the flames. “But he might take on a strapping young lad like you as a partner.”

  “I’d do it, but I’m only a poor logger until my grandmother dies. And the sweet old bat is hanging on like a cat in a tree.”

  “I’ll give you a loan until you can pay me back.”

  Simon sat back and extended his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle. Pride told him to reject the offer, but common sense—and the desire to have Carrie’s belly full with his little babes—urged him to accept. “Now why would I do that?”

  “If you don’t let me loan you the money, I’ll give it to you. It’ll be Carrie’s in a few years anyway.”

  “Then I definitely couldn’t take Carrie’s money.”

  “It ain’t hers yet.” Aunt June gave him an easy nod. “Call it a wedding gift.”

  “Whose wedding?” Simon asked, surprised. There was no way Aunt June knew about him and Carrie. Was there?

  “Young man,” Aunt June started, and moved to sit on an empty crate next to him. “I’ve been on this world for longer than I care to admit. I know when two people are as in love as you and Carrie. I’ve known it since it happened over a year ago. Only problem was you needed to see for yourself. Since you came traipsing up here asking about my goddaughter’s parents, I assume you’ve figured it out.”

  “What if I had wanted to know more about leather making?”

  “Do you?” Aunt June smiled.

  “No,” he confessed, mimicking the old cook’s grin. “Am I that transparent?”

  “Only when we’ve been watching and waiting for you to come back to us. That was only going to happen once you got out of your own self-loathing mind and realized what I’ve known all along.”

  “I’m no good for her,” he said, and picked up a pebble to toss in the fire. “She could do better than a wretch like me.”

  To Simon’s dismay, Aunt June nodded. “True, but not for the reason you think.”

  She took his chin in her hand, again like he was her child. The woman did that a lot. Mothered him. She gently patted his scarred cheek. “You’re as handsome as you were the first time I saw you. I knew then that I wanted you to meet my Carrie. I’m just relieved Beth made the introductions for me before I had the chance.” Aunt June dropped her hands in her lap. “No. You’re no good for her because you’re a scoundrel. Always have been. But the thing about a woman is, if she’s strong, then she makes her man even better than he deserves to be. You may not think you’re good enough now, but that’s only ’cause you need a good woman by your side to complete you.”

  Simon stared at the firelight as it flickered off the pebbled ground, and soaked in Aunt June’s words. The only woman he wanted was Carrie. His whole life now needed to revolve around persuading her to give him a chance. Not what she’d given him at the cabin, but a real, for-all-eternity chance. “She’s bound and determined to make it on her own. Without a husband.”

  “Oh, bosh.” Aunt June waved off his words. “That’s only because of her father. He’s made Beatrice quite unhappy with this whole leather business. You take my loan and buy him out. Or at least buy part of his company. Bring her security and independence in one big romantic proposal, and she’ll be yours.”

  “You make it sound simple.”

  Aunt June shook her head. “Ain’t nothin’ simple about love. It’s as complicated as the stars, but those who figure it out will be nothing but happy for the rest of their lives.”

  “So why didn’t you ever marry? If you don’t mind me asking.” He’d asked the question every logger in camp wanted to know. The woman they loved dearly. The one who took care of them, fed them, and mentored them had never so much as looked twice at a man. Except for the traveling merchant. “Because of Bud?”

  “Oh, no. Bud and I enjoy a good banter, maybe a coy smile here and there, but we’re friends. Nothing more.” She sighed. “I did find love once. Real, tried-and-true love. But God had another plan for me. He took my man before we could ever make our vows.”

  She shook her head.

  Simon didn’t regret asking the question dear to her soul. She was like family to him, and he cared for the old cook dearly. She gave a confession he didn’t think anyone had ever heard before tonight. At least no one in camp knew. “And you still love him?”

  Aunt June swiped at a tear. “To this day. But now it’s your turn. Come with me to town, and go get your life in order. When we come back up the mountain, you make that girl remember that she fell in love with you a long time ago. And why.”

  Simon’s heart no longer pressed hard and immovable in his chest. Tonight, after talking with Aunt June, his soul fought to soar like an eagle above the treetops on a sunny day. He wouldn’t disappoint Aunt June. He’d make Carrie fall in love with him as soon as he returned. But Aunt June was right: he needed to get his life in order first.

  Chapter 18

  Carrie held her breath until the grating echo of the metal wheels against the rails subsided. Thank the Lord above! Now that Victoria was gone, she was free to cry. She let the tears trail down her cheeks like rain over a petal and didn’t care to hold back the shuddered breaths she’d forced into submission for the last few days. Victoria and her parade of big bugs had overstayed their welcome by about three days. As far as she was concerned, at least. This place, this haven, had been her backup plan. Her one chance at controlling the outcome of her life.

  Victoria had ruined her chance at happiness.

  To be honest, she could have been well married with a passel of children clinging to her legs by now, but if what Beth said was true, Simon had seen to it that she’d die an old maid. For the better. If it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t have been home to see what happened when the husband could no longer provide and the mother spiraled into a pit of misery and desperation.

  Her poor mother. Clinging to any hope that her father’s business would pick up and she’d be able to see Carrie well married. Her mother, desperate to see her connected before news of their financial downfall hit the newspapers, had sent up the harpy of Missoula society to put Carrie in her place.

  To hell with her parents. She would not give in to marriage simply because they manipulated those around her. At least Aunt June would see things her way. She would never allow others to force her into compliance, and neither would Carrie.

  The gentle crunch of grass under feet sounded before her, and Beth all but bounced into camp. “Did you hear? The logs are expected to be at the mill this afternoon. After that the crew will come up with the trains.”

  Carrie sniffled. Her damned nose always grew cold and difficult when she cried. “Has Wall fixed the steam pulley?”

  “Yep. Took him a few weeks, but the first train load should go down in the morning.”

  “I’m glad to see it all working out for everyone.” Her voice shook, and she struggled to keep it steady.

  “You seem down today. I mean, more than usual. What can I do to help?”

  “I need to get dinner going. Now that Victoria’s gone, maybe I can concentrate on my food.”

  “I’m sorry she won’t let you stay on after this year.” Beth pulled out the tin of coffee grounds and plopped it on the table. After pouring herself a cup, she smelled the contents, scrunched her nose, then promptly pushed it across the flat surface, leaving it to cool in the mountain air.

  Carrie didn’t know how to respond to her friend. She wanted to say she was all right with it, but she wasn’t. Lying seem
ed like too much work. She kept quiet and walked over to stock the fire. She plucked the last log off the ground and tossed it in the fading flames. Sparks flew into the air and fizzled out. Where had the ever-growing stack of wood gone? She searched the camp. “Have you seen Thomas?”

  “He left on Victoria’s train. He took some time off for something. Said he’d be back day after tomorrow.”

  “Oh.” It was about time she did her own chores anyway. “I wonder what he’s gone to do?”

  Beth shrugged, poured water into the pitcher, and placed it on the grate over the flames to heat. “No telling. Men usually take days off for personal reasons. Probably something to do with family.” Beth grinned. “At least now you can take off the necklace for a bit. I’ve heard him ask you every day where it is. He’s determined to have you wear the thing.”

  Carrie fingered the pretty but ill-given necklace, then reached back and unsnapped it. The usual heavy sensation of the trinket eased from around her neck.

  She sat down on the bench along the table and slumped her shoulders. She’d been defeated the last few days, in more ways than one.

  Nots nudged the necklace in her hand, and Carrie smiled down at the pale little pup. The jewels looked vibrant against her dog’s white and gray fur. “This would look beautiful on you.”

  Nots nudged it again. Carrie wrapped it around her dog’s neck like a collar and fastened it, then scooped up the happy animal to snuggle. She truly did appreciate every gift anyone gave her, but Nots was more than any piece of finery anyone could buy. She was someone to love when life chiseled at your emotions. She was happiness with fur, and she was Carrie’s.

  Simon had given her the perfect gift.

  “If you’d like,” Beth interrupted her thoughts, “Garrett and I can ask around to see if anyone needs a cook. There’s more than lumber companies around here. I mean, Wall’s family has a cattle ranch. Those type of operations always need cooks.”

  “Thank you.” Beth was right. This was not the end of her fight for independence. Great Mountain Lumber Mill was not the only company in this blasted forest. “Do you think Wall’s family is hiring?”

  Beth shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to ask.”

  “I’ll do it as soon as he comes in for supper.” That is why Carrie loved her friend dearly. With only a few words Beth brought reason to her life and a plan for her future. As friends they understood each other. As cohorts, they improved each other’s plans. Carrie breathed easy as she poured the ingredients and mix the batter for crust. Tonight’s dinner would not be made for the dogs.

  For the rest of the day, Carrie prepared the meal for the loggers with a smile on her face and hope in her heart. She wasn’t going to give up. Even if Wall couldn’t find her a position at his ranch, chances were someone, somewhere, would hire her.

  The light grew hazy with the impending onset of dusk when the men shuffled into camp. Beth caught her eye and motioned toward Wall as he stopped near the water bin to wash the day’s worth of dirt and grease off his hands.

  “I’ll do the serving,” Beth said, and motioned toward him again.

  Carrie placed the large meat pie down on the serving table. A meal she’d made without problem. Finally. “I’ll only be a minute.”

  On Beth’s nod, Carrie started toward the man who, God willing, would soon be her boss.

  He stood alone near the water, elbow deep in suds with his sleeves rolled up past his biceps. He glanced up as she neared. “Something over there smells like heaven.”

  “Chicken pie. First time I haven’t burned the meal on the first go-round,” she said with pride.

  Wall chuckled. “I’ve loved every meal you’ve made, Miz Carrie.”

  “Don’t lie to yourself.” She smiled at the easy way Wall made her feel. Last year, Wall had vied for Beth’s attention, but alas, Beth’s heart belonged to Garrett. Carrie hoped dearly this man would find a woman for his own soon. He was as good a man as Simon and deserved as much happiness as any logger she’d ever known.

  Carrie checked to ensure she wouldn’t be overheard, then dipped her head closer to where Wall stood—not that the small distance would do much to shield their talk from curious ears. “Do you happen to know if there’s a position at your parents’ ranch for a cook?”

  Wall tipped his head to the side as if curious. “Victoria told me what happened between the two of you. She’s a good person. A bulldog when it comes to business, though, for certain.”

  Carrie sighed, took a quick look at the ground, and pursed her lips together. “So you don’t have a job for me either?”

  “I never said that.” He dried off his hands and rolled his sleeves back down his arm. “Let me write my father and see. I know our cook is getting on in age. He may want to take on another to help her out.”

  “Really?” The tightness she hadn’t realized twisted in her chest until that moment eased. “You’d do that for me?”

  “With the way that food over there smells, my father would take a switch to me if I didn’t let him know about you.” Wall winked and strolled past her toward the chow line.

  Carrie took a moment to compose herself and tamp back the smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Things were going to work out. If she was anything like Aunt June, nothing would stand in her way. Nothing.

  * * * *

  Simon dipped his hat down low over the side of his face with the scar and skirted the three clacking women who walked past. In a few more doorsteps, he’d stand before Carrie’s father and outline his plan for not only the business but also a life with Carrie.

  God he hoped everything would go smoothly with her parents.

  He unlatched the gate to the front of the house as the door opened, and Thomas all but skipped down the front steps. Simon stepped back onto the sidewalk and held the gate for the young logger.

  He chanced a glance at the door, but whoever had let Thomas out had closed it.

  “What are you doing here?” He didn’t bother to hide the anger behind his words. His gut dropped when the man bared his teeth in a failed attempt at a friendly grin.

  “I had some business in town. I thought I’d pay Carrie’s father a little visit.”

  “What business?” Simon’s fingertips tingled with the rage he felt deep within his soul. Before today, Thomas had never known the Kerrs existed. Why visit now? Simon took a step toward the man. His instinct told him to pound the man into the ground, but he resisted.

  Thomas flinched as if he knew Simon’s inner thoughts and stepped back. “Now, now. That’s between me and James.”

  “James?” Simon’s vision tunneled on the man. He balled his fists and released them several times. Thomas was on a first-name basis with Carrie’s father?

  Thomas shrugged.

  “That’s his name. Isn’t it?” He snapped his jacket open, pulled out a cigar, and popped it in his mouth, rolling it around with his tongue.

  “Yes,” Simon growled out. Was there any way Thomas had come now because he knew about Simon’s plan to ask for Carrie’s hand? Chances were slim, but it didn’t stop the rage boiling in his blood. “I assume your business is finished here and you’re going to return to camp on the three o’clock train?”

  Thomas bumped Simon’s shoulder as he walked past. “I assume I’ll see you there?”

  Simon inclined his head and clenched his teeth as he took a second to gain his composure, but all he wanted to do was knock the boy into next week. Why was he here? Simon spun around to give in to his basic instinct, but Thomas was already out of reach. He took a step toward him, but stopped. Chasing after the weasel would only cause a scene on the road in front of Carrie’s mother’s house. Which would do nothing for his cause.

  The skin near his scar twitched, and he spun on his heels. He slammed the gate behind him, but that was all the anger he dared display. Showing up raging mad in front of the father
of the woman he planned to marry wouldn’t gain him any points.

  He wasn’t giving up on Carrie. No matter how many suitors approached her father first. What were the chances Thomas hadn’t visited for that reason? In two steps, he rapped hard on the wood panel. Maybe a little too hard. He flinched at the noise. Within a few heartbeats, the door yanked open to reveal Carrie’s father, his round belly tight against the vest he wore over his white cotton shirt, a watch chain hanging from the pocket only to connect through the button loop.

  “Yes?” Carrie’s father squinted as if trying to gauge the situation.

  “Mr. Kerr,” Simon greeted, and then cleared his throat, confident his pulse thrummed hard enough even the old coot living next door could see the movement. “I don’t know if you remember me—”

  “Elizabeth’s brother.” James frowned. “The one who got attacked by the mountain cat last summer?”

  Simon flinched. Hell. At least he was no longer known as the reprobate of society. In this case, maybe pity instead of contempt would do him good. “Yes, sir. And I’ve got a proposal for you.”

  James lifted his head but kept his expression stern. After a few tense moments, the older man stepped back and motioned for Simon to enter.

  Simon let out the breath he’d held during the strained second and walked into the entrance. He’d never been inside Carrie’s home, only seen the outside while passing by on his way to an acquaintance’s house next door—opposite from where the old coot lived.

  What he did know was that the backyard was full of little white flowers. The same ones Carrie had brought him. Simon placed his hand over his pocket to feel for the handkerchief holding the forget-me-nots. No matter what happened today, Carrie would always be near his heart.

  He couldn’t lose her.

  Simon would have one hell of a time convincing her to trust him with her heart and her life. She deserved to have the world laid at her feet for the choosing, not to be directed where to go in life. And Simon planned to give her everything she wanted, and more.