Savage

by Michelle St. James

He headed down the walkway, giving her a small wave when he was halfway to the sidewalk. She pushed a smile onto her face and waved back, turning back for the house only when she saw him getting into his car.

  She shut the door and locked it, then turned to face Kate. “Do you think he did it?”

  Kate’s laugh was bitter. “Men like Alex Petrov don’t pull the trigger. But he had something to do with it.”

  “We have to get out of here,” she said. “Right now.”

  “Where are we going?” Kate asked.

  “I don’t know. But Farrell says it will be safe there, and that’s all that matters right now.”

  Kate folded her arms over her chest, a stubborn light shining in her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”

  29

  “What the fuck is Alexander Petrov doing in Jenna’s house?” Farrell asked.

  Leo turned around in the front seat. “Don’t know, but he was at John Carver’s funeral.”

  “Is he putting the moves on her?” Farrell asked, forcing himself to tamp down his rage at the idea of another man touching Jenna.

  “Probably,” Leo said. “You worried?”

  Farrell scowled. “Not about Jenna, no. But some assholes won’t take no for an answer.”

  “We could go in after her,” Leo suggested.

  Farrell was tempted, but it would be a mistake. “No. We’re playing it low key. Lily’s in there. This is going to be strange enough for her.”

  Leo sighed, rubbed a tired hand over his face. “You sure you know what you’re doing here, boss?”

  “What are you asking me, Leo?”

  Leo shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation. “She left. Walked out and never looked back. Kept your kid from you. So I guess what I’m asking is, can you trust her not to do it again?”

  Farrell looked out the window as he considered the question. Jenna was still skittish about his line of work. He saw it in her eyes when he’d fired his weapon in Madrid, when she took in the security detail lining her street. It didn’t matter that the current danger was likely connected to her father’s activities in the weeks before he died — to the papers he’d stashed in Madrid. Farrell was part of that world. The world of people who carried weapons, thought nothing of firing them, of killing other people who stood in their way. Jenna was like a frightened animal, ready to bolt if he moved too suddenly.

  “No,” he finally said. He hated to admit it, but he’d never been a liar. “I’m not sure at all. But she belongs to me, and it’s my responsibility to protect her. To protect our daughter.”

  “Understood,” Leo said.

  “Did you make the arrangements we talked about for them?” Farrell asked.

  “Done,” Leo said.

  Farrell nodded his approval.

  A couple minutes later, Leo sat up straighter in the car. “I think Petrov’s leaving.”

  Farrell followed his gaze to the porch of Jenna’s house, watched Alexander Petrov speak to her. She was smiling, but he knew instinctively that it was forced. She looked scared, and he had to resist the urge to step from the car with his weapon drawn, stand in front of her until she didn’t look scared anymore. Until she never looked scared again.

  He fisted his hands when Petrov leaned in to kiss Jenna’s cheek, his body aching to feel the other man’s bones crunch under his blows. His blood was still boiling when Petrov walked to his car and got in.

  “Have him followed,” Farrell told Leo. “We’ll give Jenna half an hour before we go in.”

  It was only a matter of time before the men who’d hunted them in Madrid came after them in London, and he intended to see Jenna and Lily to safety long before it happened.

  “You got it,” Leo said, typing into his phone. A few seconds later, one of the black cars pulled away from the curb, tailing Petrov at a distance.

  Farrell pulled his phone out of his pocket — it was encrypted by his own people, he was never concerned about being overheard — and dialed a familiar number.

  “What’s the word on that conversation we had a couple days ago?” he asked Adam.

  “Not a thing,” Adam said. “I’m having to be careful, though, for obvious reasons.”

  “Can you speed up the inquiry?” Farrell asked. “Things have gotten decidedly more… difficult on my end.”

  “Define difficult,” Adam said.

  “Let’s just say we had some unexpected visitors,” Farrell said.

  “We?”

  “Jenna and I.”

  Adam swore under his breath. “Care to elaborate?”

  He was used to Adam’s cautious language. He was usually tailing Bernard Morse, often surrounded by other members of Parliament. Discretion was Adam’s middle name, one of the only reasons their friendship managed to survive their disparate types of work.

  “I think it has to do with some papers John Carver hid before he died,” Farrell said.

  “Carver?” Farrell heard the surprise in Adam’s voice. “What does he have to do with this?”

  “Maybe nothing. But there are some connections that are too much of a coincidence for my liking.”

  “Can’t your guy trace the activity?” Adam asked. “Isn’t that why you put a hacker in charge of the DarkNet in the first place?”

  “Working on it. We already know the materials were bought by a shell corp,” Farrell said. “We’re still unraveling it, but I have a feeling it might be big.”

  “In what way?”

  Farrell thought about it, tried to articulate the things that had been nagging him since he’d first poured over the papers. “It’s a comprehensive study,” he finally said. “But I’ve never heard a word about it, can’t find anything about it online. Seems kind of strange given the subject matter, yeah?”

  “You’re starting to sound like one of those conspiracy theorists,” Adam said.

  “Well, I can’t say more at the moment, for obvious reasons.”

  Adam chuckled, then grew quiet before speaking again. “You sure you don’t want to leave this one alone, mate?”

  Farrell chose his words carefully. “I can’t do that. Not with Jenna’s father involved.”

  “Your call,” Adam said. “I just don’t want to see you mixed up in something dangerous.”

  Farrell laughed. “You never said anything before. You getting soft on me?”

  “Just looking out for your sorry arse,” Adam said. “As always.”

  “Don’t. I’m good.”

  “Then what can I do to help?” Adam asked.

  “You’re doing it,” Farrell said. “Keep digging.”

  “You got it,” Adam said. “What’s next for you?”

  Farrell looked at Jenna’s front door. “Leaving town for a bit to regroup.”

  “Well, call me if you get into another bind like the one in Madrid, will you, mate?”

  “Will do.”

  Farrell disconnected the call and checked the time on his phone. Jenna had fifteen minutes. Then he was going in after her and getting her and Lily the hell out of here.

  Lily. His daughter. Soon he would get to see her. Talk to her. Look into her eyes. Would she know who he was? He had no idea what to expect, and he felt a twinge of nervousness, then realized the irony of being more afraid of a tiny four-year-old girl than he’d ever been of the violent men who populated his word on a daily basis.

  But that was love: the bone-deep vulnerability that came with having something precious to lose. Something you couldn’t live without. Jenna and Lily belonged with him. Whatever else happened, he wouldn’t live without them again.

  30

  “You're being ridiculous, Kate,” Jenna said, throwing some of Lily’s things into her little pink suitcase. “It’s not safe for you to stay here. Especially now.”

  Jenna had filled her in on the events in Madrid, then went to work gathering Lily’s things while she played with her dolls in Kate’s room. Jenna wasn’t surprised when Kate didn’t see the urge
ncy in leaving. Kate had always been careless, and she didn’t have the added incentive of being shot at to make her face the reality of the situation.

  “We don’t know that,” Kate said. “For all we know, these wankers are only after you because you’ve seen those bloody papers.”

  “Exactly. We don’t know. Which means you should come with us until we do. And Mum, too.”

  Kate sat on the bed with a sigh. “I appreciate the offer, Jen, and if it will make you feel better, I’ll hole up with a friend for a bit. But I’m not going to be swept away by Farrell Black at a moment’s notice, and you know Mum won’t go either.”

  Jenna turned on her, all her fear and frustration bubbling over. “Alexander Petrov had something to do with Dad’s murder, Kate, and he was in this house twenty minutes ago. Now maybe he suspects we know something, maybe he doesn’t. But I was just chased through Madrid by a bunch of very scary men shooting very big guns, and it’s no secret that I’m staying at Mum’s house while I’m in London. How long do you think it will be before they show up here?”

  “Which is why I’ll stay with a friend for a bit,” Kate said. “I understand that you have to go. You have Lily to think about, and Farrell…”

  Jenna lifted her eyebrows. “Farrell…?”

  “You and Farrell have stuff to work out,” Kate said. “It’s right that he would want to protect you.”

  “He wants to protect you and Mum, too,” Jenna said.

  “And I appreciate it. But I’m fine here. I’ll be careful. I’ll stay with a friend, and I’ll call if I notice anything out of sorts.”

  “You promise?” Jenna asked.

  Kate stood, squeezed her in a hug. “I do.”

  “What about Mum?”

  Kate laughed. “If you think Mum is going to run off with a bunch of Farrell’s mobsters, you’ve been in the drink yourself.”

  “She has to,” Jenna said, rubbing her temples. “I can’t keep her safe here.”

  Kate tipped her head. “That’s not your problem, Jen. Stop and ask her if she’ll go. But I think you know as well as I do that she won’t, and you’re going to have to be okay with that. It’s your job to take care of Lily. So do it, and don’t let anything stop you from doing what’s best for her.”

  Jenna nodded. “You’re right. It’s not about Mum or me or you. It’s about Lily.”

  “Exactly,” Kate said. “And don’t worry about me. I’m a lot scrappier than I look, you know.”

  Jenna laughed. It might be true, but the thought of something happening to Kate still sent a shiver of fear through her body.

  “There is one thing I need to know before you go,” Kate said, turning serious.

  Jenna stopped, holding Lily’s favorite sweater in her hand. “What is it?”

  “Did you finally get that shag in Madrid?” she asked sweetly.

  Jenna laughed, flipping her with the sweater. “None of your business.”

  “Oh, my god!” Kate said. “You did! You finally got a shag. And from Farrell Black no less.”

  Jenna shoved the sweater in the suitcase, her cheeks warm. “Stop!”

  “I hope it was good,” Kate said. “You deserve it after that dry spell.”

  “Kate!”

  She laughed. “I’m just saying. And speaking of Farrell, what are you going to tell Lily?”

  Jenna drew in a breath. “I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out yet. It all happened rather suddenly.”

  “Five years suddenly,” Kate said.

  “You know what I mean.”

  Kate nodded. “Will you promise me something?”

  “It depends,” Jenna said, closing Lily’s suitcase.

  “Just… give your heart a chance to say something when it comes to Farrell, will you? I think that head of yours leads you astray sometimes.”

  Jenna smiled. “I’ll do my best.”

  They retrieved Lily and made their way down the stairs with the pink suitcase. When they got to the door, Kate helped Lily with her coat.

  “There, now,” she said. “Nice and toasty.”

  Lily grinned. “Nice and toasty.”

  Kate kissed her cheeks and gave her a hug. “You’re going on holiday, Lily. Lucky you!”

  “Are you coming, Aunty Kate?” Lily asked.

  “Not this time, love. But I’ll see you soon.” Kate straightened and looked at Jenna. “You’re going to stop and talk to Mum?”

  Jenna nodded. “And do my best to convince her to come along.”

  “Good luck with that.” Kate wrapped her in an embrace, and Jenna breathed in a cloud of sandalwood and vanilla. “Don’t be a stranger now.”

  Jenna blinked back tears, fighting the feeling that this was a different kind of goodbye. That she might not see Kate again. She thought about begging her one last time to come, then realized it wouldn’t change anything. Kate always had gone her own way. “Love you, Katie.”

  “Love you, too.”

  She pulled away from Kate and took Lily’s hand, forcing herself to smile. The next few hours were going to be strange for Lily. Jenna needed to be strong for her.

  Kate opened the door, and then Jenna was making her way down the walkway, leaving home in a way she never could have imagined when she arrived for her father’s funeral. She approached the black car in front of the house, her pulse quickening. Everything seemed to slow down as the back door of the car opened and Farrell stepped out. She tried to see him as Lily might. To see that he might be big and scary to someone so small. But all she saw was the look of love on his face, the tenderness with which he watched them approach.

  They stopped in front of him, and Leo came around to take the pink suitcase. For a moment, Jenna couldn’t breathe. She could only stare into Farrell’s eyes, every moment of the last five years moving between them in a strange kind of exchange, as if they could change it all, do it all again, through some kind of osmosis.

  Finally, Jenna bent down to Lily. “This is someone very important, my love.”

  “Who is it, Mummy?” Lily asked. She didn’t look scared at all. Only curious.

  “It’s your daddy, Lily. And I think he’s very, very happy to meet you.”

  She hadn’t been entirely sure she would say it until she did. Then it seemed like the only thing to do. Farrell had missed his daughter’s entire life so far. He wouldn’t miss any more because of Jenna.

  She stood as Farrell lowered himself to Lily’s level. A complex storm of emotion moved behind his eyes as he looked at her, and a moment later, the corners of his mouth slowly turned up into a smile.

  “Hello, Lily,” he said, holding out his big hand. “You can’t imagine how happy I am to meet you.”

  Lily lifted her hand, and Farrell took it carefully in his, like it was as fragile as a baby bird. “You’re my daddy?”

  He nodded. “That’s right.”

  “How come I’ve never met you before?”

  Jenna thought this might bring back Farrell’s anger. Instead, he laughed a little, glanced up at Jenna. “A simple oversight, I’m sure.”

  “Farrell.”

  It was Leo, standing near the door, looking around nervously.

  Farrell stood. “Do you like riding in airplanes, Lily?”

  She nodded. “I came to Gran’s in an airplane.”

  “Well, then I have quite a treat in store for you,” he said. He looked at her again, like something else had occurred to him. “I don’t suppose you also like horses.”

  Her eyes got big. She nodded.

  “Oh, good. I’m so relieved,” he said melodramatically. “I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t like our horses.”

  Our horses. The words hung in the air. Jenna wanted to know what it meant. Did Farrell want them to stay with him? And is that what she wanted? Was she ready to accept the kind of life he could give them?

  She didn’t know. She slid into the car, then lifted her arms to Lily. “Come along then.”

  Lily scooted in after her, and a moment
later Farrell took his position on the other side of their daughter and closed the door. Leo started the car.

  “I have to go to the Tesco around the corner,” Jenna said. There were other things to talk about — like her father’s ring and the fact that Alexander Petrov had been in possession of it — but she didn’t want to talk about it in front of Lily.

  Leo met her eyes in the mirror. “The Tesco?”

  “I need to talk to my mother,” she said.

  Leo looked at Farrell, who nodded his agreement, and a moment later they were leaving the neighborhood, following one of the big black SUVs as another one moved into place behind them.

  She looked over at Farrell, caught him studying Lily. He met Jenna’s gaze over their daughter’s head, then lifted his arm, cupped the back of Jenna’s neck. She was lost in his eyes, gray-blue like the sea just after a storm. She was utterly lost to him, no lighthouse in sight, and she didn’t even care.

  31

  Jenna paced outside the Tesco, waiting for her mother. She’d been startled to see her in the grocery uniform, ringing up customers behind the cash register. She looked like a stranger, and all at once Jenna had wondered how it was possible not to know the person who gave birth to you. She realized for the first time that her mother was a complete person, whole and separate from her. She had memories and dreams and fears that Jenna knew nothing about, and suddenly she wondered if she would get the chance to know those things about her mother. She was surprised to realize that she hoped she did.

  “Is everything all right?” her mother asked, stepping out into the chill afternoon air.

  Jenna swallowed, tried to think of the shortest, easiest way to explain what had happened to her mother.

  “Something’s happened…” Jenna started.

  Her mother’s eyes darkened with worry. “Is Lily okay?”

  “Lily’s fine, Mum,” Jenna said. “It’s just… Dad was mixed up in something. Something to do with the lab. Did you know?”

  Her mother shook her head. “What are you talking about? Spit it out!”

  “Dad had some papers that didn’t belong to him,” Jenna said quickly. “He hid them, and I found them, and after that some men came after me in Madrid.”