No Regrets

by Shannon K. Butcher

Page 22

 

  No matter how much he wanted otherwise.

  Not even if she tasted like liquid fire and fit perfectly against his body. Not even if she melted into his kiss like shed been starving for it all her life. Not even if she begged.

  Blood dripped from his split knuckles, a faint patter in the quiet night.

  He had to do the right thing. He had to keep her safe— even from himself. No matter how much he wanted her.

  David looked at the door, still swinging loose on its hinges. Shed forgotten her vest and the gun hed insisted she take with her whenever she left the cabin. If she wasnt careful, shed run into one of the protections hed set up in a perimeter around the cabin. They were primitive, but lethal.

  He spat out a searing oath and followed her outside. He didnt know how he was going to resist kissing her again when he found her out in the moonlit night, but he had to find a way.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Noelle didnt hear his approach, but she sensed him just before she saw his large form slip out from between the trees not two feet away.

  It was dark outside and Noelle hadnt gone far—just far enough that she couldnt see the cabin through the thick trees. Just far enough that she could feel like she was alone.

  Being alone made it easier to accept Davids rejection and remind herself of what was truly important in life. Her work.

  She wasnt a fool. She hadnt forgotten what was at stake if she failed her task to discover the hidden meaning intheciphertext.

  "You forgot your vest," said David. His voice was barely more than a whisper of dark sound.

  The wind shifted restlessly through the branches of the trees, scattering dry leaves. It smelled of frost and woodsmoke mixed with a hint of David.

  She wondered if shed ever forget the way he smelled. The way he tested.

  Noelle didnt take the vest from his hand. She felt safe out here, no matter how foolish it was for her to feel that way. The only threat she faced was Davids ability to make her lose control.

  He let out a frustrated sigh and slid the vest over her arms. His arms reached around her to fasten the straps, putting her once again in his embrace.

  Noelle looked up at him, already feeling the way her body responded to his nearness like a drug. An addictive one.

  Her heart sped and her nostrils flared to pull in his scent. His motions were jerky but gentle as he pulled the straps taut

  Shadows hid his eyes, but accentuated the tight line of his jaw. Hed shaved recently, she noticed, and she could smell the faint scent of soap on his skin.

  Desire rioted through her belly, making her feel weak and breathless. Shed never felt this way about Stanley, nor anyone else for that matter. Her reaction to David was unique and utterly mystifying.

  He pulled away, and the loss of his body heat was immediate. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her body to warm herself.

  "We need to get back to the cabin," he said.

  Noelle couldnt stand the thought of being closed up with him in such a small space. At least not unless he was going to finish what he started.

  "Ill come back in a little while. I just need some air. "

  He nodded but didnt move. "I didnt mean to hurt you, Noelle. I swear. I just. . . "

  Noelle tightened her grasp around her middle, trying to ease the empty ache that chilled her from the inside. "We dont have to talk about this. Just forget that kiss ever happened. "

  "I was a jackass and Im sorry. I should never have let my feelings get in the way of the job. "

  The job. Thats what was really important here—not her feelings, or Davids. They had a job to do, and lives depended on their success. "Its okay," she said. The words were hollow because it sure didnt feel okay.

  "No, its not. It sucks ass, but thats the way it is. Thats the way it has to be. Do you understand?"

  Noelle understood perfectly. His wife had been murdered by the same men who were trying to kill her. Neither one of them had any business getting involved with each other. They both had jobs to do, and neither was getting any easier.

  "Just give me some time alone to clear my head so I can focus on my work. " She needed to think and she couldnt do that when he was standing so close.

  After a long pause, David nodded. "Dont be long," he said as he slipped back into the shadows.

  Noelle stared up at the clear night sky. She could do this. She was strong enough to resist him. And smart enough to know there was no other choice.

  Owen slid deeper into his hidey-hole, grinning. Theyd kissed. How sweet.

  David was too distracted by Noelle and his obvious lust for her to notice Owen in his hiding place not two hundred feet from the cabin. From here he had a clear view of the tension tightening Noelles slender arms around her body.

  He could also see David keeping watch over her from a few yards away, his face hardened with frustration and guilt. Poor baby.

  In the dark, Owen doubted she could see David guarding her, and if hed left her alone, Owen would have had a hard time resisting the urge to move in too soon.

  Mr. Lark was breathing down his neck, anxious to get his hands on those weapons—or more importantly, the money they would bring on the black market. Hed already started preparing a list of well-funded customers for the auction, which put undue pressure on Owen to hurry. When he did earn that coveted place at Mr. Larks right hand, he was going to have to teach the man that money wasnt everything. Power was much more important— more enjoyable

  —and although money could buy power, fear could buy even more.

  The auction was just going to have to wait. Owen was enjoying himself too much to hurry, considering how his plans had just shifted with that kiss. Noelle was no longer just some high-powered brain. She was a woman that David cared enough about to kiss, which made her much more interesting. And useful.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Noelle hadnt made any progress for over twenty-four hours. Not one spark of insight, not one sliver of success. The code was winning and people were going to die.

  She had always worked well under pressure—there were few academics who didnt—but this level of pressure was more than she was able to handle. She was beginning to think that shed failed.

  The bowl of soup hed put in front of her an hour ago had cooled, been reheated and cooled again. It smelled great, but her stomach roiled at the thought of eating. She knew it was stupid to starve herself like this. It was even counterproductive, but every time she did anything but focus on the problem, her head started filling with images from those horrible pictures David had shown her. It had gotten so bad that she was unable to sleep, or even close her eyes for very long.

  She hadnt had more than a few short naps since theyd arrived at the cabin, and except for that nap in the woods, she had only slept a couple of times at the table, bent over her work in exhaustion. If this didnt stop soon, she was going to go insane. And welcome it.

  "You should try to rest for a while," said David from the cabin door. She had no idea how long hed been standing there, watching her.

  His body nearly filled the doorway, blocking out the bright rays of sunshine behind him. Hed shaved recently, and even though the stubble was gone, he looked no less dangerous. His hair had grown out some to reveal even more splinters of silver in the black hair at his temples, making her wonder if his body was just really fit for his age, or if his hair was going prematurely gray. Based on what she knew of his past, she guessed the latter.

  As always when he left the cabin, he wore his Kevlar vest. Under it was a long-sleeved flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his thick forearms and all the beguihng muscles she couldnt help but notice. From the dark stain of sweat around his collar, she guessed hed been chopping wood again.

  He seemed to do that a lot, which made her wonder just how long he expected them to be here.

  Other than chopping wood, he spent much of his time outside the cabin during the day, doi
ng God only knew what.

  A couple of times, hed brought back some fish and even a rabbit, which Noelle staunchly refused to eat. She wasnt a vegetarian, but Thumper was absolutely not on the menu.

  "I wish I could sleep, but every time I close my eyes, all I see is the code scrolling through my head. " And the faces of the dead. She didnt tell him that, though. What was the point? It would only make him feel guilty for having shown her the photos. He had plenty of self-imposed guilt without her help.

  Noelle shut the screen of her laptop to conserve the battery. David had said there was plenty of fuel to run the generator for several weeks if they only used it to recharge her laptop and pump water. She hoped breaking this code wouldnt take nearly that long because she knew her body wouldnt hold up that long under the stress.

  David closed the door, making the cabin seem smaller by his mere presence.

  "Its going to get cold tonight," he said as he stripped out of his vest and hung it on a nail beside the door next to Noelles vest and coat. "Theres no cloud cover to hold the heat. "

  "Get cold? Its already cold. " Noelle wore a jacket, and she sat snuggled inside her sleeping bag at the table to keep her legs and feet warm while she worked. And even that wasnt enough insulation. Going outside was even worse.

  Being strictly an indoor sort of girl had givenher no experience for the joy of sitting on frozen wood while icy drafts blasted her butt.

  For the first time in her life, Noelle wished she could pee standing up.

  "Its going to get colder, but Ill be sure to keep the fire built up tonight, before it starts to get dark. "

  "It wont help," she said. She set her glasses on the table and thrust her hand into her hair in frustration, where her fingers immediately got caught in the thick tangle of curls. Had she remembered to brush her hair today? She didnt think so, but the days ran together when she didnt sleep, so maybe she had.

  Davids blue eyes slid over her body and searched her face. "Whats wrong?"

  She thought about not telling him, but knew that in the end, hed figure it out anyway. Besides, talking about it couldnt make things any worse. "Ive hit a wall. Hard. "

  "A wall?"

  She felt shame burn high on her cheekbones. "Ive run every decryption algorithm Ive ever developed in every permutation possible. Theres something else in this code that I sensed the first time I looked at it—some elusive quality that seems to shift every time I think I see the pattern. Its mathematical, I know that much, but there is something more. Something almost arcane in the way the symbols are strung together. " She trailed off, shaking her head. "No matter how long I work, the solution keeps evading me. "

  "You should try to get some sleep. "

  Noelle rubbed her tired eyes. "I cant. This isnt just a matter of passing a course, or even completing my dissertation. Peoples lives are at stake. If I fail, people will die. "

  "Thats a lot of pressure to be putting on yourself. Youre not used to it. Relax. Give it time. As long as youre safe, thats what matters. You can take all the time you need. "

  She pushed out a frustrated sigh. "Its hard to relax when I keep banging my head against the same wall. " She looked at him, hoping he wouldnt see the desperation that threatened to overwhelm her. "What if I cant do it?"

  "You can do it. " He sounded utterly confident. "What do you normally do when you hit a rough patch?