Her Independence Day

by Victoria Belle

  Ethan leaned forward to press his forehead into his hands and groaned. “I feel like I got hit by a fucking bus. Now I remember why I don’t drink the hard shit anymore and just stick to beer. So much safer.”

  Jesse looked a lot more alert than Ethan. He shook his head at our younger brother and chuckled. “You’ve just never known how to pace yourself.”

  “Pace myself? What’s the fun in that?”

  “Exactly,” Jesse said.

  I burnt my tongue on my coffee and scowled down at it. “What was the deal with Ash last night? She sure took off in a hurry. I hope you two didn’t do or say something to upset her.” I looked up at both of them, and they refused to meet my eye. So that answered that. They had upset her. “What did you do?”

  Jesse leaned back and draped one arm over the back of the booth. “Ethan kissed her.”

  Ethan lifted his face from his hands. “Yeah, and you—”

  “Shut up,” Jesse said, cutting him off. “And speak quietly.”

  Ethan grumbled under his breath and rolled his shoulders before answering my question. “I went out to find Jesse and Ash outside. And it all started out fine. We were just talking. And then one thing led to another, and I told her how hot she was and how I’d always wanted her, and then I kissed her.”

  “And?” I prompted.

  “And then Jesse was behind her, and we both kind of, well, showed her a good time. She was into it,” Ethan added hurriedly when my eyes narrowed. “Really. She was. Ask Jesse.”

  I looked at Jesse, who nodded. “It’s true. But Ethan is neglecting to mention the most important part.”

  “Which is?” I asked.

  “She broke up with Nick,” Jesse said flatly. “She told me before Ethan even came out there. She called it off, gave him the ring back, and left him. Now she’s back here for good with no intention of ever setting foot in New York City again.”

  “Sounds like she’s running,” I said.

  Jesse grimaced.

  “What’s that face for?” I asked. I could read my brothers easily. There was something else that Jesse wasn’t saying. Something I needed to know.

  Jesse sighed. “Things ended pretty badly. He scared her, Dean. And not just a little scare. I think there was a moment where she really believed he would hurt her. And you know Nick. Chances are if she’s feeling like that, it wasn’t delusional, right?”

  “No, definitely not delusional.” My voice sounded gruff in my own ears. That was the anger. It was alive and well in my chest at hearing Jesse’s words.

  “There’s more,” Jesse said.

  And then we all fell quiet when Sadie reappeared with our plates of food. She brought us out ketchup and jam, and we sat quietly all the while, buttering our toast and preparing to dig into our meals. We ate in silence, and then when we were done, Jesse resumed what he was saying after clearing his throat. “He’s been sending her messages, too. At least five of them a day where he tells her he needs her and he’s sorry. Sometimes, if he sends a few in a row, they get pretty angry.”

  “Has she answered any of them?” Ethan asked as he wiped his mouth with his paper napkin.

  Jesse shook his head. “Not a single one. I think she’s afraid to resume contact with him in any form. But Dean, you should know. Some of the messages get pretty threatening. As in, ‘you’d better come back to me or else’ kind of shit.”

  I ran my hand down my face in exasperation and felt the stubble along my jaw. I sighed and slumped back in the booth. “Why did she ever stay with that asshole?”

  Jesse didn’t say anything, and Ethan shrugged. “You never know what it’s like from someone else’s perspective, I guess. Ashley’s a smart girl. She must have seen something that we couldn’t. It’s the only explanation.”

  “Well, we’ll keep tabs on him then.” I sipped my coffee.

  Jesse arched an eyebrow. “You think Ash would like that? She doesn’t like when people meddle in her shit. She’s too proud for that.”

  “She doesn’t have to know. And we don’t have to do anything about it unless it becomes real serious. Then she can be mad if she wants to. I’d rather her be safe and pissed than scared and hurt.”

  “Agreed,” Jesse said.

  “And then there’s you two,” I said.

  Ethan blinked at me and shared a look with Jesse. “What do you mean, us two?”

  I scratched the back of my neck. “Things may have moved a little too fast for Ashley last night. She just got out of a long-term relationship to a guy she was supposed to marry. Regardless of how it ended, she probably wasn’t ready to be thrown into a shit storm between the two of you. How could she make sense of that?”

  “What’s to make sense of?” Ethan asked. “It’s simple. We’re into her, and based on how she responded last night, I think it’s safe to say she’s into us. We haven’t been misreading the situation, Dean. There was serious heat there. Jesse would know. He’s the one who had his hands up her—”

  “Hey,” Jesse growled, silencing our brother.

  Ethan slapped his mouth closed and grumbled. “I’m just saying. You’re making us sound like we took advantage of her Dean, and that’s not what happened. I swear it. She knew she could walk away, and I gave her plenty of opportunities to tell me she didn’t feel the same.”

  “You don’t know what it’s like from her side,” I said.

  “I guess, but—”

  “No buts, Ethan. Ash is precious to us. And if she feels like you moved too fast, then you moved too fast. You both will take a step back and give her some space to sort out how she feels and what she wants. And if she doesn’t want us, we will be all right with that. We have to be. Right?”

  Jesse and Ethan nodded.

  “Good.”

  Ethan picked at the lid of one of the coffee creamers in the middle of the table. He blew out a deep sigh and leaned forward on his elbows to toss the creamer back into its bowl. “I don’t want to go back to having to be her just her friend. I’m over that shit. It’s too hard.”

  Jesse was looking at the table and not saying a word. I could read his silence for what it was: he felt the same way. We all did. Sitting back and letting her go had been hard for all of us. Letting her go with someone like Nick had made it worse, of course, but it would have sucked whoever it was she chose because the simple fact was that she couldn’t choose us.

  ***

  After brunch with Jesse and Ethan on Thursday, I had a hard time moving past what they had told me about Nick Myles. The text messages he’d been bombarding Ashley with set my teeth on edge, and I spent all night tossing and turning, feeling like there was an itch all over my body that I couldn’t scratch, until five o’clock in the morning rolled around, and I got out of bed and went into my home office.

  I left the lights on and opened up my old address book of contacts I’d made within the military during my service. I flipped straight to the back of the book and found the number I needed under the name Bruce Zagorski. I had no idea where he was stationed right now, or if he’d even answer my call, or what time it would be wherever he currently was. I also didn’t care.

  I made the call, and Bruce picked up on the third ring. “Zagorski here.”

  I hadn’t expected him to answer, but I was relieved that he did. “Bruce, it’s Dean Thomas.”

  “Dean? No shit. How are you, son?”

  “I’m good.”

  “Can’t be that good if you’re calling at this hour.”

  “Sorry, Bruce,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “I need a favor. You still have that Personal Investigator contact who lives in New York City? The ex-cop?”

  “Sanderson? Sure do. You want me to get a hold of him for you?”

  “Yes. If possible, could you have him get in touch with me immediately? Whatever his rate is works for me. Tell him that. I’m not fucking around here.”

  There was a pause on the other end, and I could hear Bruce taking a draw from a cigarette. “You’ve got it, k
id. Mind me asking what’s got you in such a fuss?”

  I rubbed my forehead and sank down into my office chair. “There’s a guy giving my—” I paused. I almost said stepsister. But that wasn’t accurate anymore, and saying it aloud only made me feel like she was still out of reach for me. “A guy giving a friend of mine a hard time. He’s showing some real erratic behavior, and I don’t want to take any risks and find out he’s dangerous too late.”

  “Got it. I’ll get him your information as soon as we’re off the phone. He owes me for some shit I helped him out with last month. I’m willing to cash in for you. You’re one of the good ones.”

  “I appreciate it, Bruce. Thanks.”

  “No sweat, kid. If you’re ever in Atlanta, give me a ring, and we’ll catch up. And don’t stress too much about this guy harassing your friend. Sanderson is good at his fucking job. He’ll find out what you need to know, and he’ll keep it on the down low so you can handle it however you see fit. Get what I’m saying?”

  A smile tugged the corner of my mouth as I thought about breaking Nick’s nose with my fist. “Yeah. I get what you’re saying.”

  12

  Ashley

  I was surprised to learn that my mother had kept all of my body painting supplies even after her divorce from Ian. She had them stored under the stairs in her new home, which was more than enough space for the amount of product I had, and she hovered over my shoulder as I bent down going through box after box of old paints in search of ones I could use at the farmer’s market tomorrow.

  After wracking my brain all morning, I’d realized I hadn’t done any body painting in over two years. I missed it dearly, and when I found out my mom still had my supplies, I called and booked a spot at the local farmer’s market. They were excited to have a body painter and promised me a table at a great location on the beach. I was excited for the market but had been nervous about seeing my mother. The last time we talked hadn’t gone well, what with the whole Nick argument.

  But today, she was better. She wanted to be a part of things as I began collecting box after box and toting them out to Lulu’s car. She’d let me borrow the Beetle to pick up my things.

  My mother carried a small box of metallic paints out behind me. We walked down the drive, and her sparkly sandals slapped on the pavement. “Would you like a glass of water, Ashley?”

  “No thank you.”

  “A snack?”

  “No, I’m good. Thanks, though.”

  My mother was trying to establish the peace between us once more. We loaded the boxes into the back seat, and my mother planted her hands on her hips. “Only two more boxes, I think. Are you going to have help getting all this to the market tomorrow morning?”

  “I haven’t thought things out that far yet. If there are some kids there, I’ll pay them five bucks to help me unload everything, I guess.”

  My mother pursed her lips. “Too bad you don’t have a man around to help you out.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes then began trudging back up the driveway. My mother was hot on my heels. I tried to ignore her, but she kept making little passive aggressive comments like that. Finally, I turned to her. “Mom, seriously. Enough. I don’t want to talk about this. And my having a man to help me move my paint supplies is not a top priority of mine. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Good.”

  Talking about Nick—or having my mother beat around the bush about Nick—was not how I wanted to spend my afternoon. The breakup was still pretty fresh and given what happened at the bar with Ethan and Jesse, my emotional state was a little all over the place. I’d discovered that the man I thought would be my forever person was actually an aggressive, unbalanced, manipulative asshole, and what made it worse was my mother’s advice that I should just stick it out. She didn’t know how bad it had gotten with him, but I had too much going on to indulge my mother’s conversation.

  I grabbed a box, and she grabbed the other. We walked out to the car and put it with the others, and then I closed the back door with my hip. I dusted my hands off and took my keys out of my pocket.

  “Well, I should be going. Thanks for letting me come grab this stuff.”

  “Of course, sweetheart. It was nice to see you.” She smiled tightly.

  I made to get in the car, and she caught my arm. I looked up at her. “Yes?”

  She chewed the inside of her cheek like I did when I was nervous. A bad habit she had passed down to me, along with cracking my knuckles. “I don’t want you to be upset with me.”

  I sighed. “I’m not upset. I’m just frustrated. I have a lot going on right now.”

  “And you don’t think Nick might want to be there to help you? He’d be a good shoulder to lean on and finding a guy like him these days would be really difficult. I know you don’t want to hear this, but as your mother, I can’t help but worry. What if you are throwing away the best thing that ever happened to you?”

  That did it. That was the final straw. “Mom, he’s an asshole. It’s not just the cheating, all right? There’s been more to it than that. He threatened me. And he meant it. And I’m afraid of him.”

  My mother sucked in a sharp breath.

  I looked at my feet. “I didn’t want to tell you the whole of it because I didn’t want you to worry. But, for the record, telling your daughter to stick it out with a guy who has been cheating on her is really, really shitty advice, Mom.”

  “Did he hit you?”

  “No. But if I’d stuck around much longer, I’m pretty sure he would have. That’s why I got out of there. That’s why I’m never going back.”

  “To him?”

  “Or to New York. I’m moving back here for good. Lulu is putting me up while I find a place. I’m registered with the school district here already, and I start a sub job on Monday. I know you’re worried. I get it. But I can handle it. This is what’s best for me. You understand that, right?”

  “Oh, Ashley,” my mother said, pressing her hand to her chest. She bit her bottom lip and wouldn’t look me in the eye. She looked at the car, then at the house, then back to the car. Finally, she lifted her hazel eyes to me and sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”

  “It’s okay, Mom.”

  “It’s not okay.” She shook her head. “I never should have pushed you back to him. That was selfish of me. You’re a smart girl Ashley, and I should have trusted you to make the right decisions for yourself.”

  Why couldn’t you feel this way about my art? I wondered but didn’t say aloud. I was happy to conquer one mountain for the day. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  “Have fun at the market tomorrow.”

  “I will,” I said, leaning in to give my mother a short but sincere hug. “And don’t worry. You’re forgiven. Maybe once I find my own place, I’ll have you over for dinner? It won’t be as fancy as this, but I’d like to cook for you.”

  “That would be lovely.” My mother smiled. And she meant it. I could tell by the way the joy touched her eyes.

  She stood in the driveway and waved as I reversed out onto the street. I watched her fade away in my rear-view mirror until she was a little speck. Then I cranked the music and enjoyed the drive home.

  I spent the afternoon cleaning the house to surprise Lulu when she got home from work. She was letting me stay there rent free, so I wanted to make sure I was being the best house guest I could possibly be. I went as far as to empty her fridge out of all expired food and empty each and every garbage bin in the house.

  I vacuumed and swept, dusted and cleaned glass, and even did a couple loads of laundry.

  By the time six o’clock rolled around, I was exhausted and starving, so I fished around the kitchen in search of the drawer where I knew Lulu kept her takeout menus. It was, of course, the last drawer I checked beside the fridge. I flipped through the menus and ordered a meal for two from Lulu’s favorite Thai restaurant. I asked for it to come at seven, which would be roughly fifteen
to twenty minutes after Lulu got home from work.

  I went out for a quick walk to the corner store a couple blocks away to pick us up a bottle of wine. On my way back, my phone rang. I fished it out of my pocket and cursed loudly as I almost dropped the bottle of white wine on the sidewalk. I had apparently already accepted the call because as I swore like a sailor, I heard deep male laughter coming from the speaker.

  “Ash, you all right over there?” Jesse asked.

  I pressed the phone to my ear and held it there with my shoulder as I tucked the wine back into the bag it had almost slipped out of. “Yeah. Just clumsy. I almost smashed a bottle of wine I just bought, and it would have been entirely your fault.”

  “My fault? I’m nowhere in your vicinity.”

  “Not the point. You distracted me.”

  He made a sound in the back of his throat that made my hair stand up on the back of my neck. “I distracted you, hey? I’m good with that.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was referring to our night at the bar or not, and I was too chicken to ask him to clarify. So, I said nothing and just kept walking.

  Jesse sighed after we were quiet for a good fifteen seconds. It felt longer. “Look, Ash. I was calling to apologize.”

  “Apologize?”

  “Yes. For Wednesday night.”

  Just hearing him say those few words had my heart racing like it had when his hands were on me. In me. Good grief. I swallowed and tried to ignore the sudden fire that had been lit between my legs. “What about it?”

  “I’m sorry if it got a little… weird.”

  “If?”

  Jesse chuckled. I could picture him shaking his head, his dark hair swishing across his forehead. “You’re right. Not if. I’m sorry that it got weird. I think Ethan and I crossed some lines, and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around us. I’m happy to have you back in St. Simmons, and I’m afraid I might have ruined things.”