“What’s your story?”
“My story,” I looked up, wondering what he wanted from me. “I’m just a girl, no fancy story for you.”
“There’s something in your eyes,” he said.
I wouldn’t look at him; he was reading me, trying to figure me out. I took another forkful of pancakes, and then declared I was finished.
“I’m not done,” he said, making it clear we weren’t leaving yet.
Sucking in my cheek, I turned away. “What do you want from me?”
“I want to get to know you. Is that such a horrible thing?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“I just want to know you.”
“Why?”
“There’s something I see in your eyes. It tells me I want to stick around a little longer and see who you are. And let’s not avoid the fact that you have an amazing body,” he grinned, “and are gorgeous.”
“I’m plain, average at most, and I’m not that hot. Surely, you’ve got groupies throwing themselves at you. Why waste your time on someone like me, or at a place like Phil’s?”
“I make my own choices.”
“Whatever. I’m not a choice.”
“You’re the only option I’m interested in right now,” he countered, refusing to look away.
“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” I answered flatly. “And, I’m not looking for a good time. It seems our journey has ended.”
“It’s only beginning,” he answered in return.
I shook my head, he wasn’t getting it. Why did I even come out tonight, I should have said no like every other time he asked me.
“Steel, you seem like a nice enough guy, but I’m just not interested.”
“Why did you come out with me tonight?”
“Because you wouldn’t take no for an answer,” I fibbed.
“That’s a lie.”
I looked away.
“You’re here because you want to be.”
Steel watched her squirm, and wasn’t sure why he was drawn to the dark haired girl. There was something vulnerable yet strong and guarded about her. He wanted to crack the hardened layer protecting her and see who was beneath it. Maybe she reminded him of his sister, or a friend back home, he wasn’t sure, he simply knew that for some reason he kept coming back to see her. He hadn’t intended on being drawn in, but when he saw her that night at the bar on Thanksgiving, something told him he needed more. She sat across from him, trying to be smaller, take up less space. She was almost shrinking before him. Why was she so uncomfortable?
“Can we go now,” I asked, seeing him lowering his fork. He’d consumed more calories in that one meal than I had all day.
“Yeah,” he said, putting his hand up to wave down the waitress. “Let me in,” he said quietly.
Biting my lip, I looked away. Why did he want in so badly? There was nothing left inside. I was a shell, and my insides were no more.
Climbing onto his bike, my body pressed to his, I didn’t feel the same things I did on the ride over. I was only uncomfortable and wanted to be as far away from him as I could get. I counted the seconds until he brought me home.
“You can drop me at the bar,” I said before we left.
He nodded, realizing I wasn’t taking him home. He didn’t realize the bar was my home, in some crappy, small room upstairs. He didn’t know I shared a bathroom with strangers, and that the sink was old and crusty, with a rust ring around it. He didn’t know that I pulled the covers over my head every night trying not to think about what my step-brother did to me, and he didn’t know that I stared at his picture for hours one night, wondering what it would be like to touch him – wishing I liked to be touched. I don’t – not anymore.
Pulling up to Phil’s, I climbed off of his bike. “Thanks for the food.”
“Sure thing,” he didn’t make a move. Maybe he finally took the hint.
“You can leave, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m waiting for you to get in your car,” he said frankly.
He didn’t realize I lived here. Do I get in my car, put on a show, pretend that I live somewhere else? Fuck that. “I’m home.”
“What?”
I pointed to one of the second floor windows above the bar. “That’s home.”
“Then I’ll walk you in,” he said turning off the engine.
“It’s not necessary. I’m fine.”
“I’ll walk you to our door,” he repeated.
Sighing, I shook my head. “Whatever floats your boat, you’re not coming in.”
“Understood.”
We went in the side entrance and climbed the stairs. The weathered wainscoting along the wall was in need of repair, and the white paint above it was now gray and brown from handprints, time, not being cleaned in ages, and the carpet on the stairs was covered in stains.
Embarrassed, I walked forward like I didn’t care or didn’t notice. I was certain he would.
“This is me,” I said, pointing to my door.
“Can I come in? I have to take a leak.”
Great, now I get to admit I don’t have a bathroom. “The bathroom’s over there,” I said pointing to the open door down the hall.
He stood waiting for me to open my door.
Unlocking the door, I went inside. Looking over my shoulder, he could see my mattress pushed in the corner, a beat up chest of drawers, shredded curtains and a blind with creased slats. It wasn’t pretty, but it was all I had.
“Happy now,” I was angry and ashamed. He wasn’t expecting this, but now he knows my truth. I live in some hole in the wall dump, and can barely afford this. I didn’t even have my own bathroom.
Only he wasn’t commenting, instead he was inspecting the lock on my door. “I’ll come back tomorrow and install a stronger lock. This won’t do.”
“I can take care of myself,” I said, resenting that he felt the need to play some superhero. “I don’t need your help.”
“I’ll come back tomorrow with a stronger lock,” he repeated. Apparently it wasn’t up for discussion.
With that he headed down the hallway to use the bathroom.
Knocking gently at my door, he opened it before leaving, “Goodnight, Avery.”
“Night,” I said, closing the door behind him. Locking it, I pressed by back to the door and slid to the floor. I was embarrassed by my living conditions. Crying, I let out the bits of ego that were squished. I didn’t have room for emotions, I’d finally shut them all out, and I didn’t need them creeping back in.
He came back with a lock, just as he’d stated. Not taking no for an answer, he installed it, double checking it, and then handed me the key. I wanted to thank him, but didn’t know how. I was ashamed of where I lived. It was still better than my parent’s house, but it wasn’t what he was expecting. I shouldn’t care, but I did.
Chapter 6
Handing Avery the key, I couldn’t help but notice her shoulders. She pretended to be strong, this tough girl that could take care of herself, but she was scared. Something happened to her that forced up that wall. I saw a frail girl wanting to be strong, projecting with anger. I’d seen that in another girl I knew. I watched my sister become the shell of herself after he hurt her – that bastard, creep of a loser she once called a boyfriend. It took such a long time for her to come back to herself, the sweet, sophisticated girl I loved.
I pummeled him as close to death as I could get away with. I’d have killed him if she didn’t stop me. I let him live only so we could prosecute him, report him, and let them throw his sorry, rotten ass in jail. What he did to her, it makes my blood boil. No man, no god damn man has a right to take what isn’t theirs. And he crossed the line, forever scarring my sister.
Every man has a code of ethics and knows what crosses the line. He didn’t seem to care – he just took what he wanted, demanded, and thought was his. Fucking asshole.
I wondered what kind of pain tore Avery apart, shredded her hope and dreams, and caused her to accept living this way, lost and
afraid. It would be easier to walk away, easier to pretend I never saw it, but I couldn’t. Something pulled me in, wanting to take care of her, tell her it would be okay and help her heal.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I had an ulterior motive. She’s madly attractive, hot as hell with a body that screams for attention, but when it comes down to it, I want to see her smile. I want to see her face light up when she sees me, and know that I’m the one that put it on her face.
My sister, Lily, has a smile that reminds me of my mother. She’s the spitting image of Mom. She’s the reason I didn’t take the big scholarship and stayed in Seattle. She’s the reason I live and breathe. My little sister was the happiest, joyful soul I knew. Only when that loser took her in anger, she lost her spark, and I rarely saw her smile after that.
She needed someone to protect her, make her feel safe. If I couldn’t help her, who could? I’d heard the rumors, was offered scholarships, but turned them down. Family came first. I’d go into business, and tucked football aside. I’d play in the smaller league, but the thought of turning pro wasn’t in the cards. I needed to stay, be the rock that she needed, a shoulder to lean on. It was the right thing to do.
It was Lily who convinced me to take the job with the Red Hawks. Enough time had passed, she said she was fine, and that she’d be crushed holding me back. She was ready to take on the world once again, and when I saw her smile I knew she’d be okay.
I wondered if I’d ever see Avery smile.
Chapter 7
Football season was coming to a close, and without the Red Hawks making it into the playoffs, Steel’s schedule freed up more. He would be their saving grace the following year, or so his coach hoped, but this year was a wash.
He kept showing up. I didn’t ask him to, but he’d sit with me until I finished, wasting time. It’s not like we became best buddies, but he sat there silent as stone, watching over me like some protector that I didn’t ask him to be.
The more I saw him, the more I wanted him – and the more I forced my wall tighter around me. I couldn’t bend and get soft over some good looking guy. He’d just leave when he got what he wanted. And what the hell did he want, some kind of twisted challenge? There were so many others that would have gladly thrown themselves at him. Only he’d sit on that stool, waiting me out.
Exasperated, I finally lamented, “What do you want from me?”
“I just want to be your friend, Avery.”
“Why? Why bother, I’m not a good friend.”
“Okay,” he shrugged, “maybe I’m interested in getting to know you better.”
“You obviously can’t read signals that I’m not interested.”
“But you are. You just aren’t ready for me yet.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”
“Are you going to live caged up forever, never letting anybody in?”
“You’re trying to fix me, and I don’t need to be fixed.”
“I’m trying to love you, but you won’t let me close enough.”
The word took me off guard. It was like a splash of cold water thrown on my face. “What, why,” I stammered. “You barely know me.”
“I know that something pulls me back to this place time after time, because for some reason I want to be around you.”
“You’re trying to rescue me, and I don’t want to be rescued – besides, I’m tough to love.”
“Let me in long enough to give me a chance, that’s all I’m asking.”
“Why me? There are so many others out there, why waste your time?”
“I don’t see it as wasting time. I see it as waiting you out.”
“Great, so now I’m some conquest, and you think if you’re patient enough, I’ll suddenly fall into your arms?”
“Why do you want to push me away? Why do you hate me without even knowing me?”
“Why do you like me without even knowing me?”
We stared at one another, neither giving an inch. Only something cracked, crumbled, and for just a second in time, I could see myself in his arms. Letting him hold me, letting him want me, feeling safe and protected – his persistence would wear me down.
“Give me a chance, Avery. I could be good for you.” It was a simple statement.
I nodded quietly. We both knew what I wanted, but something kept standing in my way. There was something thick in the air between us, and yet we barely knew one another. Sure, he’d been here plenty, but I never let him in. I was about to.
“Go out with me tonight,” he said. It wasn’t a question.
Sucking in my lip, I let go. “Okay,” I finally said, giving in to what he wanted, and maybe what I wanted more.
“That a girl,” he smiled and stood. “I’ll be back for you when your shift ends.”
I watched him walk out. I was terrified, scared he would see how broken I was and realize it was a mistake to be interested in me. I’m not a whole person anymore. Who wants a shattered puzzle in their life?
He showed up like he said he would. Following him outside, I was relieved to see a car this time in place of his bike. Climbing into the large black SUV, I settled beside him, watching, waiting, not knowing what was next.
“I thought we could go get some dinner.”
“Okay,” I said, looking at his profile. His jaw was defined, his cheekbones strong. He was a handsome man, and more than I deserved. I had no idea what he saw in me, or why he was even here, but he was. I needed to decide if I was going to trust him not to hurt me, because right now I wasn’t sure I could trust a man.
Pulling into the parking lot of the same all night diner we’d stopped at before, he commented. “Not a lot of places open this late.”
“I’m used to it.”
“If you let me take you out on a day off, we could try something else.”
“Pancakes suit me fine,” I said unbuckling and climbing out.
Walking beside me, he reached over and took my hand cautiously. His hands were massive, like giant bear paws, and as he gently wrapped my own smaller hand in his, my heart thumped. That simple little touch only reminded me how attracted I was to the guy – the very guy I couldn’t let in.
I said nothing and allowed him to hold my hand. He let go long enough to pull the door open for me, and then followed me in. His hand gently rested on my shoulder from behind. Again, the current of electricity shooting through my body told me more than I needed to know.
As much as I wanted to be touched, it caused me to panic. Last time I was touched, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I felt dirty and angry, but tonight with his hand resting on my shoulder, I felt desire, something I hadn’t felt in way too long, and I almost didn’t recognize it.
Seated in a booth, I picked up the menu, feeling his eyes on me. He no longer hid the fact that he wanted me. His eyes told me what he wanted to say. I looked up, and then hurriedly looked back down, afraid that if I stared into his eyes I would melt into a pool of bliss.
His hand came up to the edge of my menu, the very one that I was hiding my face with, and he gently pulled it down. I looked up at him, my heart racing, and saw a small smile. I smiled back and then looked back down. He could feel my awkwardness in the moment, and let me shield myself behind the menu once again.
“Pancakes, again?”
“Probably,” I answered.
The waitress stopped by and took our order, and without the menu to offer me a wall of invisibility, I was forced to look at him.
“I know that look, the distant one in your eyes. It’s pain, I get that, but I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“I’m not sure how to get past it anymore,” I admitted quietly.
“You take one block down at a time, and let a little more light in.”
“What makes you an expert?”
“Between my mom and my sister, I’ve had to figure it out myself.”
I knew about his mother, he told me, but not his sister. “Your sister?”
“She went through something,” h
e said, not filling in details.
“I’m sorry.”
When the food arrived, I was thankful for the break in tension. I could focus on the food. I was squirming in my seat, torn between wanting to be bathed in Steel’s warm kisses, and wanting to get the hell out of here. The other side of me wanted to rush home and lock my deadbolt so nobody, especially Steel Brickman could touch me. It was a confusing place to be. I wanted his touch, and yet feared it. I didn’t fear him, I feared it would wash me in memories, and bring it back like a fresh wound.
We found a way to talk about other things, him talking about his team and back home, me talking about school. It was something, because the sexual tension that sat between us was thick enough to cut. Distraction was the easy answer. I knew when we finished here there would be that awkward moment again of not knowing what to do next.
He reminded me of somebody who always knew what he was going to do next. He was a leader, someone in charge. Steel Brickman set the pace, and was never indecisive. He knew what he wanted and he went after it. This time it was me.
Leaving the diner, we walked to the parking lot, and once again he reached for my hand. There was a certain sense of protection I felt around him. Maybe it was his size, maybe his demeanor, but he wasn’t the kind of guy you mess with. Nobody was going to bother this guy – he owned the space he was in, and let you know he set the rules.
Stopping to open the door, he lifted my hand to his lips, his soft, soft, sweet lips, and kissed the top of my hand. His mouth was warm, the kiss was tender, and in that moment I melted. Sitting, I let him close the door behind me.
I watched him walk around the front of the vehicle. He was masculine, strong, and so damn attractive. I knew I wanted him, needed to touch him, but that meant letting him touch me back. I wasn’t sure I could go there – not yet.
I wanted to slide my hands across his muscled biceps, his body buff and firm. I knew if I wrapped my hands around the ripple of muscle, I’d feel that familiar dip in my stomach, the one that rushes at you when you’re flushed with girlie emotions. It’s such a biological response, you can’t even help yourself. My cheeks blushed, thinking about wanting to touch him. He had to know, right?
Tangled: A New Adult Romance Boxed Set (12 Book Bundle of Billionaires, Bad Boys, and Royalty) Page 77
