To Provence, with Love

by T A Williams

  ‘Thank you, Faye. You’ll have to excuse me. I’m sorry you had to be the one to see me blubbing like a little baby.’ Cautiously, Faye removed her arm from his shoulders and wiped the moisture off her own face again.

  ‘I’m glad I did, Gavin. And if you ever feel like doing it again, I’ll be here for you.’ She saw him straighten up and run the towel over his face.

  ‘Thanks, Faye. I’m a lot better than I was, but sometimes, when I’m reminded of it, I can’t stop myself. Dominique and I have both been doing a lot of crying this weekend, as you can imagine. What happened isn’t something you can forget in a hurry.’

  ‘I feel so very, very sorry for you both. What a terrible experience.’ Seeing him now once more in control of his emotions, she risked a question as she did her best to get her head round what she had just heard. ‘So, your wife died just a year after you had got married, and Dominique’s husband was killed just months, weeks before she gave birth to Elise?’ She saw Gavin nod. He took another couple of deep breaths and when he spoke, his voice sounded stronger.

  ‘Yes, it was on a mountain road about twenty kilometres from here, not far from the Grand Canyon du Verdon. They were going out for the day. Dominique was heavily pregnant at the time and she pulled out at the last minute because she didn’t feel up to it.’ Gavin met Faye’s eyes for a moment. ‘If she had gone, she probably wouldn’t be here today, and neither would Elise.’ He reached up and wiped the back of his hand across his face. ‘It’s been a hard couple of years, Faye, but we’re getting over it now. At least, I hope we are.’

  ‘And after the accident, you gave up your job in the UK and came over here to live with Dominique and look after the farm?’

  ‘Yes, but we don’t actually live together. The farmhouse was split in two a few years back, when Robbie and Dominique got married. They lived in one half, while my father lived in the other. Dad was already ill then and he died not long afterwards and they started renting his part out as a gîte. So, anyway, when I came back, I moved into dad’s bit, and Dominique and Elise have stayed in the part where she and Robbie had always lived.’

  Gradually, the haze cleared and Faye began to understand the situation. ‘How truly awful for you. And how awful for Elise, never knowing her father.’ Faye felt her own eyes begin to sting again. ‘My mother died when I was about her age now. I hardly remember anything about her and I really missed having a mum, growing up. It must be so hard for Dominique to be mother and father to her.’ As she spoke, she thought about her own father, who had had to try to play both parts to a growing daughter. And had got precious little thanks from his teenage daughter. She resolved to phone him that evening for another chat.

  ‘I do my bit. It’s the least I can do. The first few months were the worst, but I still find myself getting stupidly emotional when something reminds me of Jacqui and the life we used to have. I’m really sorry. I didn’t come here intending to spoil your day.’ For the first time, he made an attempt at a watery smile.

  ‘You haven’t spoiled my day, Gavin. Very much the opposite.’ In fact, she felt much closer to him as a result of his tale.

  At that moment, there was a little cry and they saw that Elise was already awake. Faye made a quick decision. In true British tradition, she knew what the situation called for: tea, definitely tea, preferably with cake. She had both in her flat.

  ‘Shall we go up for a cup of tea? I can show you the lovely flat where I’m living.’

  ***

  That evening, Faye took her four-legged friend out for another walk, her head still full of Gavin’s story. She and Marlon headed up the hill and onto the track across the rough scrubland. There were still sizeable puddles on the track, but Faye knew they would all be gone within days. The sun was setting and the crimson globe was just above the horizon, soon to disappear.

  As Marlon came up behind her, she turned towards him and saw his eyes glowing a demonic red in the reflected light of the sun, but there was nothing sinister about this Labrador. She crouched down and opened her arms, and he came trotting straight over to her for a cuddle. As she hugged him, she spared a thought, yet again, for Gavin and for Dominique. She could only begin to imagine the effect this sense of guilt was having upon Gavin, even though it sounded as though he was blameless.

  And as for Dominique, fancy losing your husband just as you are about to give birth? It must have been the most appalling experience. And now, of course, she was having to look after little Elise by herself. This reminded her of her promise to herself to call home and she took out her phone.

  ‘Hi, Dad.’

  ‘Hello, darling, how wonderful to hear from you. What’s your news?’

  ‘Nothing special. I just wanted to hear your voice. How about you, how’s work?’

  ‘Everything’s fine, thanks. And work’s good. We’ve just got the contract to design a new leisure centre, so that’ll keep us busy for a while.’

  They chatted for a good while, Faye telling him all about Eddie’s operation and her conviction she should be able to finish the manuscript before Christmas. She finished by talking about Miss Beech. ‘She’s such a nice old lady. I feel I could tell her anything, and she’s so friendly. She sometimes asks about you, you know? Why don’t you come over and meet her?’

  ‘What? Over to France? Well, it’s something to think about.’

  ‘I mean it, Dad. And there’s bags of room in my flat for you. Think it over.’

  ‘Well, I haven’t been away for a holiday for quite a while …’

  ‘I keep telling you, you work too much. All you need to do is get a flight to Nice and I can come and pick you up. It’ll be the grape harvest soon. Why not come over after that? The weather should still be great and there’s a swimming pool here at the chateau.’

  ‘I might just take you up on that, Faye. I really might.’

  Chapter Thirteen

  It took a long time before Faye got to sleep that night. This had nothing to do with the crêpes she made herself for dinner, the couple of glasses of local rosé she drank with them, or the weather. Although the sun had blazed down all day, the air was now much less humid since the thunderstorm and she was very comfortable, lying on her back with the windows open, just covered by a sheet, watching Graham the gecko doing his job in the moonlight, ridding her ceiling of any pesky little insects.

  What was going through her head, round and round, time after time, was the full horror of Gavin’s story. His apparent grumpiness when she had first met him and his reluctance to bond with her was so understandable now. She could only begin to imagine the suffering he had endured and she wondered how long it would take for him to begin to heal. If that was possible.

  Next morning, Miss Beech was up and about again and Claudette relayed the news that Eddie, too, was mobile. When Faye went through to Miss Beech’s study at nine o’clock, she found both of them there. As he spotted Faye, Eddie braced himself upon his crutches.

  ‘Hi, Faye. I wanted you to see me on my feet again, but now I’ll leave you two ladies to it. I’ve got stuff to do.’ He gave her a smile and then walked remarkably nimbly out of the room.

  ‘He’s looking good.’ Faye was impressed.

  ‘I think it’s absolutely remarkable what they can do nowadays. Anyway, as far as today’s concerned, I wondered if you’d like to take a look at my dress collection upstairs? Maybe try a few on?’

  Faye jumped at the idea. ‘Absolutely, that would be great.’

  Miss Beech led Faye out of the study and into the lift. As the door closed and she pressed the button, she gave Faye an apologetic look. ‘I know it’s lazy, but the clothes are up on the fourth floor. And it’s a bit of a hike for old knees like mine.’

  Up to now, Faye hadn’t even realized there was a fourth floor. As they stepped out of the lift at the top, she saw from the sloping ceilings that they were right up under the roof. It was warm up there and very dry. Miss Beech opened a door directly opposite them and Faye found herself in an Aladdin�
�s cave, full of the most amazing clothes: row upon row of them, hanging on big commercial rails, many of them in plastic or paper wrappers.

  ‘Welcome to my dressing room.’ Miss Beech was smiling, but looking uncharacteristically embarrassed. ‘To my shame be it said, the value of these clothes, at least when I first bought them, would probably add up to the GDP of a small country. It’s shameful, really.’

  ‘Not at all.’ Faye shook her head. ‘Surely these are every bit as much the tools of your trade as a hammer and chisel for a carpenter. Although you’ve always been beautiful enough to turn up dressed in a sack and still be the belle of the ball, it’s what was expected of you.’

  Miss Beech patted her arm. ‘You really are so very sweet, Faye.’ Together, they began a tour of the multitude of dresses hanging up there. To Faye’s fascination, the tour was accompanied by a never-ending stream of reminiscences that went straight into her notebook. She recognized some of the clothes from films she had seen downstairs in the private cinema. It was when they reached the infamous figure-hugging dress worn in the flagship movie, Faded Heart, that Miss Beech suggested Faye try it on. Faye took it from her with hands that were almost trembling.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I think you’ll find it could have been made for you. Just looking at you, I feel sure you’re pretty much exactly the same size and shape that I was at your age. Go on, give it a try.’

  Faye didn’t need to be asked twice, so, feeling a bit embarrassed, she slipped out of her T-shirt and shorts and studied the dress for a moment. ‘Erm, do I step into it or put it over my head?’

  ‘Step in, but make sure you undo the side zip first. If you really wanted to do it properly, you’d need to take off your underwear, but you don’t need to go to those lengths today.’ Miss Beech was grinning now. ‘A lot of the time when I was on set, I had to be completely naked underneath. The director insisted upon the dress being as adherent as possible. Although the contract stipulated no nudity, the directors were always trying to make me look as sexy as possible.’

  ‘Wow, could I put that in the book, about you not wearing underwear? Maybe along with a photo of you wearing the dress in the film?’

  ‘I don’t see why not, Faye. It probably won’t come as a surprise to anybody familiar with the sort of underwear we had to wear back in those days.’

  Faye felt the cloth slide over her body, adhering as it did so, almost as if it was magnetized. It was remarkably light but, she reflected, that was probably because there wasn’t very much of it. She had never worn anything like this before. There was a very faint hint of perfume and she wondered when the last time had been that Miss Beech had worn it. Once again, Miss Beech was reading her mind.

  ‘The last time I wore this was at the Oscars ceremony in 1962. They insisted I wore it for the occasion. I’ve never touched it since. That’s over half a century.’ Miss Beech’s was looking misty-eyed. ‘Just running my hands over it now brings it all back to me.’ After a few moments, she returned her mind to the present day and subjected Faye to careful scrutiny before passing judgement. ‘You look absolutely beautiful, Faye, and it fits you like a glove. It could have been made for you. Here. Come and look at yourself in the mirror.’

  Faye followed her across the room to a full-length floor-to-ceiling mirror. Hesitantly, she stepped forward and looked at her reflection, catching her breath in amazement. The person looking back at her from the mirror was so completely different, it almost came as a surprise to see her blink when Faye blinked, and turn her head when Faye turned hers. She tore her gaze away from the mirror and caught Miss Beech’s. ‘It’s unbelievable. It really does fit. It fits perfectly.’ She shook her head and smiled. ‘Sorry, Miss Beech, I must sound like Cinderella.’

  ‘Now that’s a thought – glass slippers. Or shoes, at least. Can you see, the gown’s just a bit too long. You need heels … Now where might they be?’ Faye, holding the hem of the precious dress up to stop it sweeping the floor, followed Miss Beech to a stack of shoe boxes that filled a corner of the room. It took some time before Miss Beech found a pair of shoes that would go with the dress, but, when she did, Faye got another surprise. Even these fabulous silver stiletto-heeled shoes fitted perfectly.

  ‘Take a look, Faye, there’s another mirror over here.’ Miss Beech stepped to one side and Faye took a good look at herself. The gown was made of a shiny silver fabric that shimmered as she moved. The neckline plunged, revealing her bra and making her realize that what Miss Beech had told her about wearing it without underwear would be the only solution. Mind you, she thought to herself, although the material itself wasn’t transparent, there just wasn’t very much of it, and anybody who did so would be exposing a hell of a lot of flesh. The fabric adhered to her body and, as Miss Beech had observed, it was a perfect fit. It felt really rather spooky.

  ‘It’s totally weird. I feel as if I’m looking at somebody else in the mirror. But you’re dead right about the fit, right down to the shoes. Amazing.’ She glanced across at Miss Beech and was immediately perturbed to see tears running down her cheeks. ‘Miss Beech, what is it? Is something wrong?’

  The old lady shook her head and sank down onto a tin trunk. Faye went over and sat down beside her, making sure she didn’t crease the precious dress any more than necessary. She waited a few moments and then slipped her arm around Miss Beech’s shoulders and hugged her. The tears continued for a couple of minutes and it took a while before they started to dry up. By this time Faye was feeling quite emotional herself as memories of Gavin’s story the previous day filled her head once more.

  Finally, both of them wiped their eyes and did their best to resume normality. Faye had a shrewd idea what was going through her employer’s head. Gently, she risked a question.

  ‘Memories? Does this bring back memories?’

  Miss Beech reached for Faye’s free hand and clasped it. ‘Memories … and regrets.’ She took a deep breath. ‘It’s just the thought that it’s over half a century since I wore this last. And yet, looking at you now, it’s almost like going back in time and seeing myself again. Back then I was like you are: young, beautiful, optimistic for the future. Since then so many wonderful things have happened to me, but not everything’s been perfect. Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to …’

  Faye shook her head and squeezed Miss Beech’s shoulders and fingers, wondering what was playing on her mind and trying to think of the best way of encouraging her. ‘Think of what you’ve achieved in those fifty years. You’ve done far more than most people. And think of your legacy … Those films will still be bringing joy to people for another half century, probably more.’ She decided a lightening of tone was necessary. ‘Besides, they say eighty’s the new sixty.’

  Miss Beech pulled a handkerchief out of her sleeve and wiped her eyes. ‘You really are a sweet girl, Faye. You can’t imagine how much I’ve enjoyed having you here.’

  ‘Well, I’m enjoying being here.’ Faye hesitated and then decided to reveal what she had been thinking. ‘Can I tell you a secret? Just last night I was thinking how I would have loved to have a mum like you. I really mean that.’

  If she had hoped that this would stem the flow of tears and cheer her employer up, Faye was gravely mistaken. No sooner had she heard Faye’s words than Miss Beech started crying all over again and it took several minutes and frequent dabs with the handkerchief before she calmed down. This time, Faye saw her take a few deep breaths and compose herself, clearly determined to snap out of it. A smile appeared on her old face that was a tribute to her acting talent.

  ‘Eighty may be the new sixty, but I still need a hand to get back up from this trunk again. Would you mind …?’

  Faye released her hold and tried to stand up, immediately discovering that this would have been a lot easier if the dress had been a bit looser-fitting and the heels a lot lower. As it was, she had to bend her knees almost to her chin and turn round so she was facing the trunk before pushing backwards and pro
pelling herself to her feet, smoothing the shiny material over her bottom as she did so. She then reached down, caught Miss Beech’s hands, and tugged gently. As the grand old lady stood up, Faye did her best to return the mood to something less intense.

  ‘Wow, I can’t believe the things you managed to do in this dress. Apart from dancing, didn’t you climb out of a window when the house was on fire? How on earth did you manage that? I could hardly stand up a moment ago.’

  To her relief, it looked as though Miss Beech had by now got over her emotional moment. The smile stayed on the old lady’s face as she answered. ‘That’s right, and I jumped into a moving car. There’s a knack to it, but it took a lot of learning. It’s quite some dress, this. I bet you didn’t know that it won an Oscar as well and, for my money, it deserved it. Seriously. It got Best Costume Design.’ Then she released her hold on Faye’s hands and stepped back. ‘Now, let me have a proper look at you.’

  As much for the old lady’s benefit as her own, Faye gave a little twirl and almost ended up on the floor. She didn’t have a lot of experience of moving about on shoes with such ridiculously high stiletto heels. She just managed to grab a clothes rack to steady herself while Miss Beech giggled, now apparently restored to her normal cheerful self.

  ‘The heels take a bit of getting used to. I’ll tell you something that you can stick in the book if you like. This is the third of these dresses and the fourth pair of shoes. The heels were so high, they kept snapping off. As for the dresses, the first one barely lasted a few days. I was bending down to slip my shoes on and it split right across my behind. Fortunately I was in my trailer at the time, but the tear was so serious, they couldn’t repair it. I spent a couple of days doing front-only shots, held together with safety pins at the back while a new one was made, pronto.’ She was giggling again and Faye found herself joining in with her.