The Rest of My Life

by Sheryl Browne

  ‘Nathaniel?’ she called, tapping again when Nathaniel didn’t answer. She was sure he was in. The chandlery had been open and she thought she could hear a radio playing inside his office. Knocking again, she waited and then tried the handle. Finding the door opened, she went on in – and stopped in her tracks.

  Oh, dear. Nathaniel was in it seemed, shaving with an electric razor, gyrating his hips to Robbie Williams’ latest, and wearing only his boxers. Very baggy boxers, adorned with a kissy lip motif. ‘Oops.’ Sienna hid a smile as he caught her reflection through the mirror he had perched on his filing cabinet.

  ‘Bloody hell!’ Nathaniel whirled around, his face beetroot red. ‘Crap,’ he mumbled, scrambling for his shirt hanging on the back of his office chair.

  ‘Sorry.’ Sienna turned away, unfortunately too late to save his blushes.

  ‘No, no, I am,’ Nathaniel said behind her. ‘Hold on, give me a tick.’

  Sienna waited, hearing the sound of other garments being tugged hurriedly on, trousers – thankfully – judging by the sound of the zipper.

  ‘Right, I’m decent,’ Nathaniel assured her after an awkward pause, ‘ish,’ he added as she turned back around.

  ‘Sorry, Nathaniel. I know it’s early but the chandlery was open and I, um …’ Sienna trailed off, noticing the sleeping bag on the floor in front of his desk, the alarm clock parked on the desk; general signs of living.

  ‘Paperwork,’ Nathaniel supplied, shrugging with embarrassment. ‘I had some to catch up on, so …’

  ‘Oh, right.’ Sienna nodded and offered him an understanding smile.

  ‘Actually, that’s bullshi— Er, not quite true. I’m living here and I’m rubbish at lying.’ Nathaniel sighed and turned to put the kettle on.

  ‘But wouldn’t you be better off on one of your boats?’ Sienna asked, puzzled.

  ‘Definitely. Unfortunately, someone’s just bought the one I was kipping on and the only other one available is due for a refit, so …’ He shrugged apologetically again. ‘Come on in, Sienna. Would you like some toast?’

  ‘No. Thanks, Nathaniel, I’ve already eaten. And you don’t have to explain, you know. It is your office, after all.’

  ‘Nate. Call me Nate. It’s less of a mouthful,’ he said, ambling over to what was obviously his kitchen area, a toaster and kettle on top of his fridge. ‘There’s nothing much to explain really.’ He turned, waggling a mug in her direction.

  Sienna shook her head. ‘I’ve just had a coffee, thanks, Nate.’

  ‘My girlfriend decided she wanted to do her own thing,’ he went on, turning back to pour water into his own mug, ‘with another bloke, unfortunately, so here I am, for a while at least.’

  ‘Oh, Nate …’ Sienna felt for him. She didn’t know him that well, but from what she did know he seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. The sort that would easily get taken advantage of, she imagined. ‘I’m really sorry. It’s just awful when that happens.’

  ‘Oh? Same thing happened to you, did it?’ Nathaniel enquired, casually.

  ‘No. To a friend.’ To Lauren, more specifically, but Sienna doubted she’d thank her for sharing that bit of news. ‘I, um, don’t have a boyfriend, right now.’

  ‘You don’t?’ Nathaniel looked surprised. ‘I’d have thought you’d have had them queuing at your door, a beautiful girl like you.’

  ‘They obviously have the wrong address,’ Sienna joked. ‘Actually, with my writing and my job, I’m not really looking for a relationship at the moment,’ she added, wanting to deflect discussion on that topic.

  ‘So, what can I help you with?’ Nathaniel clapped his hands together. ‘A boat trip, is it? We’ve got the Queen of the River going out later, if you fancy it.’

  ‘Adam,’ Sienna supplied.

  ‘Adam?’

  ‘I wanted to thank him properly for saving Tobias. I thought I might give him a bottle of something. Unless you can think of anything else he might like?’

  Nathaniel’s smile slipped. ‘I could think of plenty he’d like,’ he muttered, drawing in a tight breath.

  Such as? Sienna waited, while Nathaniel seemed intent on studying his feet.

  ‘Red wine,’ he suggested, sighing as he turned back to his fridge. ‘Merlot is his tipple of choice. I usually grab him a couple when I do the supermarket shop. Here,’ he pulled the fridge door open and produced a bottle, ‘take one.’

  Sienna eyed him curiously. He did his shopping for him?

  ‘We look out for each other,’ Nathaniel offered by way of explanation. ‘I’ve known Adam since we were kids. He’d do the same for me if I was a bit strapped for cash. He’s a good bloke. Where women are concerned, though …’ He held her gaze as he passed her the wine.

  ‘He’s bad news. Yes, I know. You said.’ Someone she should absolutely avoid, then, Sienna suspected. Still, though, she couldn’t reconcile his ‘bad news’ image and his selfless rescue of Tobias. He’d seemed so instinctively caring, yet, conversely, so angry.

  A conundrum, definitely. Sienna had no idea why she was bothered what he was. The man was already in a relationship – several, possibly – and, even if he wasn’t, he quite obviously wasn’t relationship material.

  Offering Nathaniel a smile of gratitude and taking her leave as he headed for his ringing telephone, she reminded herself she wouldn’t know how to be in a relationship anyway. She’d never had a proper relationship, always out of synch at school, reluctant to invite friends home for fear of her mum’s ups and downs. When her mum died, she’d seemed even less able to fit in, people seeming awkward around her, even her friends. Sienna recalled how some of the girls had avoided being alone with her because they hadn’t known what to say. With the one or two boyfriends she’d had she’d always felt inept, somehow, at intimacy. And then she’d met Joe, her possessive texting-ex. A trainee solicitor at the office where she’d worked part-time to fund her degree, he’d seemed nice at first, seeming to understand that she’d prefer to take things slowly. Clearly he hadn’t understood. Sienna pulled in a shuddery breath. And clearly he hadn’t cared about her. He’d been vile that night in the car.

  Closing the chandlery door behind her, Sienna blinked back a tear as she recalled the contempt in his eyes, the accusation, as if it were her at fault. His swearing and shouting. He’d called her immature, a little daddy’s girl. She wasn’t completely naïve but, in Sienna’s mind, lovemaking was supposed to be a caring experience that happened between two people who mutually desired each other, not something you did under threat of being labelled frigid or immature. Maybe she was naïve. It was only a shag, after all. He was her boyfriend, wasn’t he? He was ‘fucking entitled’.

  Yes, and she was entitled, Sienna decided, with a determined nod of her head, to choose to have sex when she wanted and with who she wanted, preferably someone who would ignite her desire enough to want to.

  ‘I have no idea why you’re bothering,’ Lauren said, giving her perfectly spiralled blonde hair a final spritz of hairspray. How did she do that, Sienna wondered bypassing her in the hall. Lauren could curl her hair in the morning and come home with it still stylishly curled at night. Sienna could give her hair an industrial spray of superglue and it would inevitably be limp frizz five minutes later. But then Lauren had always been stylish and coordinated, whereas Sienna’s look was more boho. ‘Happy Hippy Chic,’ Lauren had once kindly referred to it, but even she tended to look her casual dress preference over dubiously.

  ‘Because he rescued Tobias,’ Sienna reminded her, heading to the kitchen to flick on the kettle. Swilling a mug, she watched Adam’s boat through the kitchen window. She couldn’t decide whether its tilt and sway meant he was just going about his morning business – or whether he might be going about other business.

  ‘So he’s a hero by all accounts?’ Apparently satisfied with her titivations, Lauren came into the kitchen to peer out of the window alongside her. ‘From what else you tell me he also has “women issues”, Sienna. The man is obviously bad new
s.’

  So everyone keeps telling me. Sienna sighed.

  ‘He should raise a shagging flag, for a start.’ Lauren nodded out of the window as the boat dipped stern end. ‘Course, it would be permanently raised, no doubt,’ she added, po-faced.

  ‘Um, beg pardon?’ Sienna’s mouth curved into a smirk.

  So did Lauren’s. ‘You know what I mean. He’s a heartbreaker, Sienna, isn’t he, Tobias?’ She glanced over at Tobias, who snoring contentedly in his basket obviously had no opinion one way or the other. ‘Someone you should definitely avoid, given past experiences.’

  ‘Lauren …’ Sienna felt her cheeks flush. Would she ever be free of her ex, she wondered, a constant reminder of her inadequacy in choosing and handling men?

  Lauren wrapped an arm around her and gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. ‘It was his problem, Sienna,’ she said forcefully, ‘not yours. I’m just saying don’t go courting trouble, that’s all. Not that I imagine he’s much into court—’ Lauren stopped, and gawked, as the bad-news-man himself appeared up on deck. ‘Oh, my God!’ she gasped. ‘A serious heartbreaker.’

  Shoot! Sienna smartly sidestepped. He wasn’t wearing anything! Well, he was, but not much that left anything to the imagination. He was dressed in just his cut-offs, the button undone at the front – she shuffled sideways for another surreptitious peek – and, ‘Oh, my…!’ echoed Lauren’s sentiments. He was, like, wow! He had the perfect physique, in Sienna’s mind anyhow, lean but beautifully sculptured.

  Was that a scar on his tummy? She squinted, recalling the one on his face, which perversely only added to the man’s attraction. Was she? Attracted? Sexually? Obviously he wasn’t perfect, inside or out, but was that precisely why she was attracted?

  He had chest hair, just the right amount to be sexy; a thin line trailing from his chest temptingly down to … she swallowed … below open button level. His shoulders were broad. Not over-muscular, but he most definitely worked out: loads of press-ups, obviously. She quickly tried to dispel that image, but couldn’t quite. His hips were slim. His abdominal muscles were phenomenal. Sienna closed her eyes, her own pelvic muscles contracting in delicious … anticipation?

  ‘God, it’s hot.’ She flapped a hand in front of her face.

  ‘Ye-es.’ Lauren folded her arms and looked her suspiciously over. ‘He is, very. Steer clear, m’dear. Take my advice and give the man a very wide berth.’

  ‘I wasn’t intending to steer anywhere near him,’ Sienna insisted, wondering herself whether she actually was. Whether, in fact, she really was attracted to heartbreakers, in which case she probably needed relationship counselling before she’d even got started. ‘I was going to give him a bottle of wine by way of a thank you, Lauren, not my body.’

  ‘Oh, yes?’ Lauren looked her over again, as she collected up her briefcase and bag, taking in Sienna’s cami top and shortest of shorts.

  Sienna tugged the hem of them down a bit. ‘It’s hot.’

  ‘You said. Just be careful, Sienna, okay? Men like him are dangerous.’

  Sienna opened her mouth, ready to defend him, but then realised she didn’t actually have much to offer in his defence. ‘I will,’ she promised instead, smiling reassuringly. ‘Say bye-bye, Tobias.’

  ‘Bye, Tobias.’ Lauren rolled her eyes and headed to the hall, then poked her head back through the door. ‘Concentrate on your script,’ she suggested. ‘Do some research or something. That should take your mind off other things.’

  I’m trying to. It’s not working. Sienna sighed and trailed across to the kitchen table whereupon was her under-used laptop, as Lauren left for work. Then she flew back to the window as she heard Adam say brightly, ‘Morning. Looks like it’s going to be another beautiful day.’

  ‘Depending on whether one’s managed to get any sleep the night before, of course.’ Sweeping derisory eyes over him, Lauren blew out a sigh and marched on.

  ‘Ah, sorry about that,’ Adam called after her. ‘I’ll try to, erm …’ Clearly not sure what to say next, he ran his hand through his hair, watching her go. Having a good look too, judging by the curious tilt of his head, which most definitely didn’t help Sienna’s confused mood at all.

  ‘It’s now or never, Tobias,’ Sienna said determinedly an hour later, during which time Adam’s boat had remained relatively still. She hoped he hadn’t gone out while she’d been in the bathroom trying to do something with her own hair, only to give up and end up tying it up in its usual bedraggled topknot. She’d tried a few of Lauren’s lipsticks on, too. The lust-red gloss she’d thought looked quite nice, applying it and arranging her mouth into a provocative pout. Yes, that had worked. She looked like one of the undead after a blood fest. She had no idea why she was worrying about how she looked anyway. Tugging in a breath, she grabbed up the wine from the table and headed for the door. Yes, okay, she did fancy him, she conceded, but that was just a fantasy. He obviously was a heartbreaker. Nathaniel certainly seemed to think so. He was definitely chauvinistic, as already demonstrated. He also had a girlfriend. A girlfriend he was obviously extremely satisfied by. With!

  ‘Come on, boy,’ Sienna beckoned a waggy-tailed Tobias and fastened his lead securely. Adam had been right, of course, about the life jacket, her carelessness. She reminded herself why she was bothering to take the wine. Complicated feelings aside, she was truly grateful. He had saved Tobias, who with his dodgy hips and arthritic limbs would surely have sunk like a stone.

  Closing the cottage door before her courage failed her, she walked Tobias the short distance across the marina, noting again how tranquil everything seemed, resplendent white yachts and multicoloured narrowboats bobbing lazily on the sun-dappled water. A backdrop of woodland and greenery as far as the eye could see. Ducks dipping and splashing, long-necked swans gliding majestically by, blue skies. It really was the perfect setting to fuel creativity, if only her mind would stop wandering in one particular direction.

  Pausing at Adam’s boat, she gave the father of two wayward teenage sons a smile as she went. The man, looking nosily over from the deck of his boat moored on one of the pontoons adjacent to Adam’s, didn’t smile back. Misery guts, Sienna thought. If he was that miserable it was no wonder there didn’t appear to be a wife in evidence.

  So where was Adam? Gone down below, she supposed. Standing on tiptoe she peered over the handrail at the back. The cabin door was open. Ah, he was obviously still at home. Sienna deposited the wine on deck and was about to climb on board to knock on his door, when a female voice from within froze her to the spot.

  ‘I’d better go,’ the woman said. ‘I have to get you a key cut for the cottage.’

  ‘Key?’ Adam’s voice. Sienna ducked swiftly back down.

  ‘Well, it’s standing empty at the moment,’ the woman said. ‘No happy holidaymakers booked in for the next month, so you might as well have a key.’ A pause then, interspersed by an, ‘mmmm’. Were they kissing? Sienna strained her ears. They were! Oh God, what should she do? Make a dash for it back to her cottage, or wait it out in case she attracted their attention? Wait it out, she decided, sidestepping, and then freezing again as the boat swayed.

  ‘Sherry, I thought we’d already settled this payment for services rendered thing.’ Adam sighed exasperatedly from inside. ‘You don’t—’

  ‘You’re amazing,’ the woman cut him short. ‘A frustrated woman’s fantasy come true.’

  Unable to resist, Sienna took another quiet sidestep and had a furtive glance through a gap in the curtains at the window.

  ‘Keep it,’ the woman said, placing several crisp twenties on his bedside locker. ‘Put it towards your leather upholstery.’

  What? Sienna’s eyes shot wide. Un-believ-able. She was paying him! Blushing up to her topknot, Sienna dropped out of sight.

  The woman – most definitely not the same woman Sienna had previously seen emerging from his shag-pad – was actually paying him for sex! Sienna blinked bewildered at Tobias. She hadn’t been mistaken. She’
d seen it with her very own disbelieving eyes.

  The man was an absolute trollop!

  Sienna up-periscoped again, and then … ‘Shoot!’ … almost swallowed her tonsils.

  ‘Nothing like the smell of leather,’ Adam said, smiling a slow satiated smile from where he lay on his berth, and then rolling lazily over onto his stomach. At which the woman pulled back the duvet and gave his extremely firm buttocks a good thwack.

  Ooh, hell! Sienna ducked, as Adam flew off the bed to catch the woman by the hand. ‘If there’s any spanking to be done,’ she heard him growl, ‘I’ll be the one doing it.’

  Ye Gods! He was a complete perv! Sienna took several slow breaths, and then ever-so-carefully raised her head again, just in time to see Adam spin the woman around to face him. ‘You’re a very sexy woman, Sherry,’ he said huskily. ‘Your husband must be insane.’

  Husband? Sienna closed her eyes. He was, wasn’t he? She’d wondered what he did for a living. And now she knew. He really was pimping himself out, offering services to frustrated women.

  ‘Oh, Adam …’ The woman practically melted in his arms.

  Sexual satisfaction guaranteed, obviously. Disgusting. Sienna felt an electrifying jolt of excitement run right through her.

  He wove a hand through her hair, pulled her head back and … Sienna’s pelvis flipped right over … pushed his tongue into her mouth. She was clawing his back! Sienna watched on mesmerised as, unperturbed by the woman’s fingernails assaulting his flesh, he trailed his tongue across her jaw, down her neck, licking and nipping. She shouldn’t be watching. It was voyeuristic. It was wrong. It was … Sienna gulped … a total turn on.