The Rest of My Life

by Sheryl Browne

  Adam searched her face, looked into her eyes, his dark espresso eyes full of undiluted fear.

  ‘I love you,’ Sienna managed, a tear of her own trailing down her cheek to escape onto her pillow.

  Adam closed his eyes, and swallowed, and then leant in to touch his forehead against hers. ‘Don’t ever do that to me again, Sienna,’ he said, easing up to look sternly back into her eyes.

  Sienna smiled. He didn’t scare her. Even at his most obnoxious he hadn’t been intimidating. At his moodiest, broodiest, she couldn’t help but love him. Could he love her, still, once all her secrets were out?

  Adam’s mouth curved into a slow reciprocal smile. He brushed her lips with his, and then, ‘I love you, Sienna,’ he breathed. ‘For the rest of my life, I will always love you.’

  He pressed his lips back to hers, but Sienna couldn’t supress a titter.

  Adam pulled away, his look this time quizzical. ‘Erm, did I say something amusing?’

  Sienna pressed a hand to her mouth, a laugh bubbling up in her throat. ‘I’m waiting for the theme music,’ she said.

  Adam’s look was still puzzled.

  ‘The Bodyguard,’ she enlightened him. ‘Are you going to guard me?’

  ‘Ah.’ He got the drift. ‘You’re taking the pee, aren’t you?’ he said, his oh-so-terrifying stern look back, a twinkle in his gorgeous eyes.

  ‘A bit.’ Sienna did her best to look sheepish.

  ‘I guess I’m not quite as eloquent as you.’ He furrowed his brow. ‘Which I suppose means I’m just going to have to show you how much I love you.’ His mouth twitched back into its lovely, warm smile. Good. It suited him much better than a scowl.

  ‘Promise?’ Sienna reached up to smooth his permanently unruly hair.

  ‘Fervently. And, yes, I will guard your body; with my life,’ he said, moving in to cover her mouth softly with his.

  ‘Ahem.’ A cough from across the room interrupted Sienna’s tongue’s pleasurable reintroduction to his.

  ‘Sorry,’ Nathaniel said, blushing beetroot. ‘Can I have a quick word?’

  Adam glanced at him, and then pressed a kiss to Sienna’s nose. ‘Back in two minutes,’ he said. ‘Don’t go anywhere.’

  Giving her a reassuring smile, Adam pulled the door open, and then walked with Nathaniel back to the nurses’ station, where David was conversing with the consultant. David had a hand on his chin. He was nodding over it. Adam couldn’t read his expression, though. Couldn’t tell whether the news was good or bad.

  Feeling sick to his soul, he glanced at Nathaniel, who tried to look reassuring, but who actually looked as worried as Adam felt. Stopping in front of David, Adam pulled in a breath and tried to still his gnawing trepidation.

  David nodded him a greeting, his expression still the one of puzzlement he usually wore around Adam. ‘Good news,’ he said, at last. ‘At least, I hope it is for you.’

  Adam took a second to assimilate, and then closed his eyes. ‘The best,’ he assured him, dragging his hands over his face and shakily up through his hair. ‘Thank you.’ He swallowed, and offered the doctor his hand.

  ‘My pleasure.’ The doctor smiled. ‘I gather you’re a bit of a hero.’ He shook Adam’s hand and pressed his other hand to his shoulder. ‘Well done, and congratulations.’

  ‘Yesss!’ Nathaniel punched his other shoulder, none too gently. ‘Well done, me old mate. We’ll crack open the bubbly.’

  Adam smiled wryly. ‘Cheers, Nate.’

  ‘Er, lemonade,’ Nathaniel corrected himself, glancing at David, whose expression was back to unimpressed.

  ‘Coffee,’ Adam suggested, pointedly. ‘I think we could all use one.’

  ‘Black, no sugar,’ David supplied.

  ‘Oh. Ah, yes, right. I’ll just go and get them, um … Leave you two to discuss whatever it is you need to discuss.’ Nathaniel pointed a thumb over his shoulder and about-faced.

  Adam shook his head, watching Nathaniel making his indiscreet exit.

  ‘Well?’ David folded his arms.

  Adam took a breath. ‘I don’t think you’re going to be majorly thrilled,’ he said, looking nervously up at him.

  David drummed his fingers against his forearms.

  ‘But I’d like to ask if you’d do me the honour of allowing me your daughter’s hand.’

  David breathed in, his impressively toned chest swelling and his look somewhere between relief and apprehension.

  ‘And the rest of her, obviously,’ Adam tacked on.

  ‘Ye-es.’ The man’s expression was now one of quiet despair. ‘Diplomacy would have been to stop at hand, Adam.’ He shook his head and turned in the direction of Sienna’s room.

  Adam smiled. He wasn’t actually that intimidating, he supposed, as long as he kept on the right side of him. No wish to invade the man’s space with his daughter, Adam took a seat and waited, and debated. His next step was to ask Sienna, hope with all his heart she would consider marrying someone so messed up, and then try somehow to explain how he felt about the big white wedding thing. If she had her heart set on it, he’d do it, God help him, somehow he’d get through it. Even then, though, he needed to be honest.

  Five minutes later Nate was back with coffee. ‘Thanks, Nate.’ Adam took the cup his friend offered him gratefully. The coffee was pretty disgusting, but at least it was wet and warm, which might wash the petrol fumes from the back of his throat.

  ‘So, you going to do the deed then?’ Nathaniel asked, parking David’s coffee on the floor and plonking himself on the chair next to Adam.

  ‘I am,’ Adam assured him. ‘I wish you wouldn’t make it sound quite so formidable though.’

  Nathaniel folded his arms and eyed Adam knowingly. ‘Isn’t it?’

  ‘Very,’ Adam conceded nervously, and finished his coffee. It was still disgusting.

  ‘Not as formidable as that, though?’ Nathaniel nodded towards Sienna’s dad coming back towards them.

  Adam’s mouth twitched into a smile. ‘Maybe not.’ Depositing his cup in the bin, he got to his feet as David approached.

  So did Nathaniel. ‘Phone call,’ he said diplomatically, waving his mobile. ‘I’ll be outside, Adam, if you need any assistance. A lift anywhere, I mean,’ he added quickly as David eyed him bemusedly. ‘Or, you know, anything. Ahem, Mr Meadows.’

  Nodding courteously at the man, Nathaniel headed swiftly off towards the exit.

  David turned back to Adam, regarding him in that thoughtful way he had, and then he surprised him and offered him his hand. ‘I didn’t thank you,’ he said. ‘You saved my daughter’s life, twice. Be careful with it, Adam.’

  Adam nodded, swallowing back a different kind of lump in his throat. ‘I will be,’ he promised.

  ‘Congratulations.’ David Meadows managed a whole genuine smile, to Adam’s amazement, and then nodded him on to go back to his daughter.

  ‘Oh, Adam,’ he said, turning back as Adam headed off. ‘In case you were wondering. Sienna went to see Joe’s mother to ask her to have a word with him about stalking her. Just so you know.’

  ‘Right.’ Adam nodded his appreciation. He wouldn’t be doing much stalking now, he supposed, from the burns unit. Sienna had yet to learn about his injuries, but that could wait until she was stronger, he decided. One step at a time, starting with this one.

  Walking towards Sienna’s room, he pulled out his phone, keyed in a text and pressed send, hoping she’d understand. He thought she would. He couldn’t see Sienna getting in a strop if he didn’t do it by the book. Mentally apologising to Emily, he loitered outside Sienna’s room and waited.

  Seeing it was Adam, Sienna immediately read the message: Marry me? One word. I can take it.

  YessSSS! Sienna clutched the phone to her chest. Please, she texted excitedly back.

  How do you feel about a small ceremony? Was Adam’s reply.

  She knew it! She knew he’d been scared. She didn’t know how scared or what of. God, he really was hopeless, bottling things
up in case he looked less than macho. Why hadn’t he just opened his mouth and trusted her? Dad, Nate, Lauren, Nicole, Phil, Lily-Grace, you & me? Sienna pinged back.

  And the baby? Adam suggested.

  Oh God! He knew! How? Who? Ooh, flip. Sienna almost slid down the bed as Adam poked his head around the door. ‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted as he came in. ‘Really I am. I wasn’t sure. I … didn’t know what to do.’

  Adam was now definitely wearing his stern expression. ‘First of all,’ he said, walking across to her, ‘don’t be. If you’re with a man you have to apologise to about something like this, then you shouldn’t be with him. And secondly, why on earth didn’t you tell me?’ He searched her eyes, in his, honest bewilderment.

  ‘How, when you …’ Sienna faltered, feeling her cheeks flush. ‘You know, took all the right, um …’

  ‘Precautions?’ Adam finished, obviously sensing her embarrassment. ‘I’m obviously not as competent a lover as I like to think I am.’ It was his turn to look embarrassed now. ‘Faulty goods, I suspect.’ He smiled apologetically. ‘I would never have doubted you, Sienna, you must know that. You should have said something.’

  ‘I tried,’ Sienna said quickly, ‘but there was so much going on. And then, when you said …’ Again, she hesitated, not wanting to appear to be apportioning blame when she knew her own insecurities had driven her to push him away.

  ‘What did I say, Sienna?’ Adam asked gently, now looking genuinely confused.

  Sienna glanced down and then back. ‘That you didn’t want to have a baby.’

  Adam stared at her, astonished. ‘What?’

  ‘You said you wanted to wait,’ Sienna reminded him. ‘That you didn’t want to go that route yet.’

  ‘Not when we’d already made one.’ Adam’s look was now a mixture of incredulity and despair. ‘I wish you’d told me, Sienna. I was worried sick. I thought …’ He stopped, sighing heavily. ‘I wish you’d felt able to trust me.’

  ‘I do!’ Sienna blinked at him, startled. Surely he couldn’t think that she didn’t trust him? After all they’d … ‘You know I do.’ But he didn’t, did he? How could he when she’d run away? Run from him, rather than talk to him. ‘Is this our first argument?’ she asked, tremulously.

  ‘Erm, nope.’ Adam thought about it. ‘Second, I think, or possibly third, can’t quite recall.’

  Sienna dropped her gaze. She should have spoken to him.

  ‘Good job I love you really, isn’t it?’

  Sienna’s heart bobbed back up from where it had flopped somewhere near little foetus level. ‘Still?’ she asked, a smile curving her mouth as she looked back into his deliciously decadent chocolate-brown eyes.

  ‘Forever and always. Fervently. Every beautiful inch of you, including your imminent bump, you twit.’ Adam smiled his bone-melting smile, pressed the screen on his mobile, then placed it on her bedside table and proceeded to kiss her most pleasurably and thoroughly, as Whitney Houston began belting out, I Will Always Love You.

  Epilogue

  Adam managed a smile as Nicole walked towards where he waited nervously with Nathaniel on the quayside. ‘Phil’s just parking the car,’ she said, leaning in to give Adam a kiss, and then wiping the lipstick from his cheek. ‘I thought I’d come and give you a bit of moral support.’

  ‘Thanks, I could use it.’ Adam managed to say, though he wasn’t entirely sure he’d manage to get whole sentences out for much longer.

  ‘Scrubs up nicely, doesn’t he?’ Nathaniel grinned and indicated Adam’s attire.

  Nicole followed his gaze to look Adam up and down, who, freshly shaven and hair almost tamed, was as immaculately turned out as he could ever hope to be. ‘He wears it well,’ she conceded, taking in the three-piece grey suit, white shirt and blue silk tie. ‘If only he could stop fidgeting in it.’ She shook her head and attempted to pull his hand away as Adam checked his watch and then tugged at his shirt collar.

  ‘I just can’t get him to calm down.’ Nathaniel sighed and reached to straighten Adam’s now skew-whiff tie, again.

  ‘What time is it?’ Adam asked, croakily.

  Nathaniel eyed the skies. ‘About the same time as when you just looked. Stop worrying, Adam. She’ll be here.’

  ‘Right.’ Adam nodded resolutely, drew in a breath, checked his watch, and loosened his tie. ‘You don’t think she’s changed her mind, do you?’

  ‘Adam, she’ll be here.’ Nicole sighed good-naturedly.

  Adam wasn’t convinced. ‘You don’t think anything’s gone wrong then?’

  ‘For God’s sake, man, get a grip.’ Nathaniel wrapped an arm around him and gave his shoulders a firm squeeze. ‘She loves you. You look so irresistible, I’d marry you. Nothing’s gone wrong. She’ll be here, trust me. She’s probably titivating and whatnot.’

  ‘Bound to be.’ Nicole nodded knowingly. ‘It’s what women do.’ Swapping amused glances with Nathaniel, she eyed Adam pseudo-despairingly – and reached to straighten his tie.

  Adam nodded, pulled in another long breath and resisted checking his watch.

  ‘If you don’t stop doing that, you’ll hyperventilate.’ Nathaniel checked his, then coughed, then laced his hands behind his back and tapped a toe.

  Adam nodded again, sure his restricting collar was way too tight to get the crucial words past the lump in his throat. She would be here. She did love him. He breathed more slowly and tried to reassure himself, but couldn’t quite quell the sick panic rising inside him.

  ‘The venue’s … different,’ Nicole observed, glancing around at the balloon and flower festooned boats. Adam’s, where the couple would be making their vows, most flower festooned of all.

  ‘No expense spared,’ Nathaniel assured her, also taking in the ambience. ‘Did you see the band?’ He nodded towards a narrowboat, on top of which was a five-piece band, complete with saxophonist and drum kit, while Adam considered whether to go and sit down, before his legs failed him and he dropped down.

  Trying to think calming thoughts and failing, he glanced at Nicole, who offered him a warm, supportive smile. Adam was grateful. It must have been hard for her, coming here, doing this, given she was supposed to be maid of honour at his last wedding.

  ‘Ah, here’s Phil,’ Nicole glanced towards the car park, ‘and your gorgeous little flower girl. What do you think?’

  Adam followed her gaze to where Phil was guiding Lily-Grace carefully towards him. Concentrating on her footwork and the ivory rose and butterfly wand she was clutching to her chest, she didn’t notice Adam at first. When she did, she beamed him a smile which just about knocked his brand new black socks off. Adam’s chest swelled with pride as he looked her over. Wearing a dove coloured satin dress, a pink ribbon around her waist and a little pink butterfly adorning her hair, she looked totally adorable. ‘She’s perfect.’ He swallowed, wishing Emily could see her, suspecting she probably could.

  Giving Lily a wide smile back, he caught Nicole’s eye. ‘Thanks,’ he said, certain that Nicole would know he was thanking her, not just for this, but for everything. One day little Lily would want explanations, information to fill in the gaps about her natural mother. Nicole, Phil and he had agreed she would have that information when she was ready, making sure she had all of the good stuff. For now, though, Lily was content with Nicole as Mummy, Sienna as Auntie, and two Daddies in her life.

  ‘She’s yours,’ Nicole said simply, reaching to squeeze his hand.

  Adam nodded. There was no doubt about that in his mind, not anymore.

  ‘She’s here!’ Squeezing his hand hard enough now to stop his circulation, Nicole pulled his attention away from Lily to the carriage coming resplendently through the marina gates, led by two white horses, complete with plumes. Thank God. Adam allowed himself to breathe out.

  ‘Told you I’d do you proud, didn’t I?’ Nathaniel gave him a nudge, obviously as pleased as punch with the bridal transport, which had been his wedding gift.

  ‘You did, and some,’ Adam ass
ured him, his heartbeat ratcheting up to a whole new level. His mouth dry, his legs now distinctly shaky, he tried to compose himself as he waited for the carriage to draw to a stop.

  Also grey-suited, David appeared first, glancing towards Adam, his relief on finding him there, where he should be, apparent. Adam really couldn’t blame the man for that. Acknowledging him with a small nod, David turned back to the carriage, extending a hand for Sienna’s – and when his bride finally stepped down, Adam’s heart stopped beating.

  ‘Wow!’ Nathaniel whistled, also appreciating the view, then, ‘Breathe,’ he whispered sideways as David led Sienna towards them, Lauren close behind her, fussing and tweaking.

  Pausing in front of them, David glanced proudly from his daughter to Adam. ‘Worth waiting for?’ he asked him.

  Now definitely incapable of speaking, Adam nodded, his gaze fixed firmly on Sienna.

  ‘Sorry we’re so late,’ Lauren said, flapping at her side. ‘I couldn’t do a thing with her hair.’

  Adam took in Sienna’s hair, magnificent, mesmerising red hair flecked gold, tumbling carelessly over her shoulders, her shy smile, her luminescent forest green eyes, her pretty freckles – he wanted to kiss every one of them, right there, right then. His eyes travelling downwards, sweeping the strapless dove satin dress, the pink ribbon positioned over her beautiful bump and under her far too tempting breasts, he swallowed hard. His woman, his friend, his lover, the mother of his soon-to-be-born child, she looked radiant, beautiful, utterly…

  ‘Stunning.’ He gulped back the tight lump in his throat – and promptly straightened his own tie.

  Adam wasn’t surprised to see the white Chinchilla cat perched atop his boat when he turned after promising to give Sienna all of himself completely. He wasn’t surprised when it mewed and turned to pad silently off, casting him one last look with its all-seeing eyes as it went. Somehow he hoped he would, but Adam had a definite feeling he wouldn’t see Emily again.

  She hadn’t been his guardian angel. She’d been Sienna’s. She’d kept her safe. She’d refused to go away until he knew that life without love in it was no life at all. Pretty mean feat for a ghost. Bye, Emily. He smiled inwardly. Part of him would always love her, too. He had a hunch she knew that.