The Sound of Salvation (Deliverance Book 1)

by I. A. Dice

  The accusation in his voice was making me livid. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs about what Adrian had done, but it wouldn’t help the situation. It would make things worse.

  “He changed. He’s not the same guy you met last year.”

  There was nothing left of the passionate guy I fell for.

  “What does that mean?” Nick demanded, clenching the glass he held so hard his knuckles turned white with the effort.

  “Oh, for crying out loud!” I fumed, and saw Thomas chuckling, which made me smile a little. “Let it go. I know you liked him, but it didn’t work out.”

  For two months my relationship with Adrian played out in my mind on repeat, and there was nothing I wanted more than to leave it behind.

  Back in New York, everything reminded me of Adrian. In London, there was nothing to trigger memories, and if Nick would stop talking about him, I could finally forgive and forget.

  God knew I wanted to start a new chapter, but despite my efforts and determination, Adrian was still lurking at the back of my mind. And as ridiculous as it was, I still had feelings for him. I still missed him, and it scared me.

  I was reaching a desperation point in my attempts to rid him from my mind and heart. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to get my peace. I was tired of tears and wanted to draw a line that would divide the past from the present so I could live my future.

  Nick remained silent, eyeing me with a frown. He finished his drink and walked out of the room without a word. I assumed he needed a few minutes to calm down, and I almost felt bad for yelling at him. He just wanted me to be happy, and in his eyes, Adrian deserved to make it happen.

  “I can’t believe you kept this quiet for two months!” Amelia scoffed, but her expression changed from annoyed to compassionate in no time. She took my hand and sighed, running her thumb over my knuckles. “How are you holding up, sweetie? Need a girl’s night out?”

  “I’m fine, Mel,” I said, retreating my hand. “Really. It’s for the best. You better think of someone I can take as my date to your wedding.”

  “I’ll take you,” Thomas cut in, focusing on me as if we were alone.

  “You’re not cute, Thomas,” Mel spat out, rolling her eyes, “but thanks for being so thoughtful.”

  She never knew when to shut up. I was dateless, Thomas was handsome, ergo—good enough.

  “Can you dance?”

  “No, he can’t,” Mel snapped.

  Thomas smiled, satisfied. “Wear comfortable shoes.”

  Nicholas came back with a tray full of shot glasses, and Thomas grabbed the bottle of Tequila to do the honours.

  Mel wrapped her hand around her fiancé’s neck as soon as he sat down. She kissed him, a mischievous grin curving her lips. “Guess who Nadia’s date to our wedding is.”

  Nicholas turned to me, and then to his best friend, awaiting confirmation. “Well … This might not be a bad idea. You’re my best man; Nadia’s the maid of honour. You won’t have dates to entertain, and you’ll focus on making sure everything runs smoothly.”

  It sounded like he tried to convince himself that it was okay, but I knew he dreaded not seeing Adrian at my side in seven weeks.

  CHAPTER 3

  THOMAS

  “Missing” posters

  The more time passed without Nadia around the better I got at rational thinking. Whatever she did to me in the parking lot evaporated when I parked the car outside my house after dropping her off at Nick’s.

  Then, for ten minutes, I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. Nothing about my appearance changed since the morning, but I felt different. All because of a petite, gorgeous baby doll with eyes the size of walnuts and the colour of dark chocolate. A doll whom I couldn’t have, despite wanting her like I have wanted no one before.

  I couldn’t have her because she was Nick’s off-fucking-limits sister; she was a brunette, and after twenty minutes with her, I liked her.

  All the reasons for not touching her were checked off, but it didn’t mean shit. I still wanted her. I fucking craved her.

  My brain didn’t take a holiday, it disappeared. Huge Missing posters hung all over London as I searched for it.

  I shook my head, amused at how much I had been thinking about Nadia. It wasn’t like I ever gave a second thought to Ann, Grace or any other blonde, but Nadia occupied my mind non-stop for the past two hours. At the end of the day, all I wanted to do was fuck her.

  Nothing more, and nothing less.

  And as much as I wanted it, I could divert my needs to some nameless blonde later.

  Problem solved.

  My fool-proof plan comprised of bagging the first good-looking blonde I would lay eyes on. And it worked well right until it didn’t. I followed Nadia out to the garden a few minutes after Nick finished interrogating her about Adrian, and even fewer minutes after I offered to escort her to the wedding.

  How very fucking thoughtful of you, Thomas.

  Taking girls out wasn’t my style. Fifteen minutes was all I needed and taking them out meant spending more than that in their presence which meant complications—like not being able to take two or three girls to the toilet during one party.

  Whatever. I could abstain from acting like a jerk for one night, if it meant Nadia wouldn’t arrive at the wedding with an even bigger jerk. By the look on Amelia’s face, I knew which jerk she planned to shove into Nadia’s face hadn’t I offered.

  I wouldn’t let him take care of Nadia. I wouldn’t let him take care of a fucking fruit fly, but I should have thought it through. The looks on their faces ranged from stunned to disbelieving, and while it was nothing short of what I expected from Amelia, the same look on Nadia’s face gave me the creeps.

  She knew.

  She knew what kind of guy I was. Mel must have filled her in, and for the first time, I was ashamed of my lifestyle.

  Nadia sat on a fallen bough, which Nick failed to get rid of. The sun headed west and the first rays of orange broke the sky, creating a spectacular view over the calm lake. It wouldn’t be half as spectacular without her in the picture though.

  “You look gorgeous, baby doll,” I said, lighting up a Zippo.

  Gorgeous was an understatement. The way she kept her hair draped over one shoulder, falling to her chest, her petite posture and how she held a cigarette in-between those full lips was hypnotic. But I still couldn’t put my finger on what it was about her that had me so hooked.

  The hair on my neck stood on end when she licked her lips, eyes trained on me. The sight gave me a head rush and standing became tricky. I took a seat beside her—which was not the best choice, considering her perfume had an equally powerful brainwashing effect.

  “I’m still trying to decide whether you’re being rude or flattering with that baby doll.”

  I took a drag and exhaled the smoke, trying to focus on something other than her proximity, or the electricity jumping between us, but my heart was beating its way out of my chest with a sledgehammer.

  “Not rude,” I muttered, dropping my gaze to her lips.

  Not grabbing her face in my hands and sinking into that perfect mouth of hers was physically painful.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” I rasped.

  We were sitting outside, but there wasn’t enough breathing air around once the atmosphere shifted from casual to roaring with lust.

  She swallowed to make room for words. “I think you’re too close,” she sighed, redirecting the blood flow in my body toward the inseam of my trousers.

  Instead of moving away, she inched closer. She wanted me to kiss her as much as I wanted to do it, and that was all the green light I needed to risk my friendship and partnership with Nick.

  All for one fucking kiss.

  And how could I not think about making love to her when she sighed like that?

  Fuck. You want to fuck her, Thomas.

  God, I was doomed. Was my brain never coming back?

  Everything else disappeared for a
second when her nose almost brushed over mine and less than an inch parted our lips. I was about to move in and steal a kiss when she jumped back, startled.

  I didn’t know what happened until I heard a familiar—suddenly very loathed—voice coming from the open patio doors.

  “Nadia!” Ethan exclaimed, charging at her.

  My first thought was to punch his face to stop him from getting anywhere near her. I suppressed the need to perform a knockout on one of my friends to let some steam off.

  Nadia got up, eyeing Ethan with a hint of dread. If I weren’t watching her, I would have missed the way she glanced around as if looking for a way out. Before she could make a move, and before any other brilliant idea formed in my mind, Ethan helped—rather, forced—Nadia up and drew her straight into his arms.

  Nadia froze. I couldn’t see her face, but her body language spoke volumes and clearly said that the greeting Ethan chose was the last thing she wanted. She lifted a trembling hand and patted his back.

  Ethan appeared nervous when Nadia stepped away, having only lasted two seconds in his embrace, but an eager smile on his face covered it up well.

  “Amelia told me you would be here,” Nadia said, still looking unsure about how to act around him.

  She took a step back, ready to sit down beside me, but Ethan stopped her, draping his arm over her shoulders with pure joy in his clear blue eyes.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, cutie.”

  Nadia flinched hearing the endearment, and once again wriggled out of his embrace. Her hands still trembled when she took a cigarette out of a pack and looked at me, taking a seat.

  Fear and pain I saw in her eyes earlier were clearer now. I didn’t like what I witnessed. And I sure as hell didn’t like the way she reacted to Ethan, or that I didn’t understand the last of it.

  I took a Zippo out and offered it to Nadia, brushing my fingers across her hand and watching in confusion as the trembling stopped.

  “You all right, mate?” Ethan asked me.

  He noticed nothing odd about Nadia’s behaviour and kept smiling as if he won the lotto. If he had a tail, he would be wagging it all over the place.

  Pussy.

  My jaw clenched together with my fists. I still hadn’t stopped considering whether to knock him out or not, especially after seeing the anxiety on Nadia’s face. The need to protect her, despite not knowing what I would be protecting her from, appeared out of nowhere.

  Nailing Ethan would definitely help me calm down. If it weren’t for him, I would have kissed her by now. Then again, Nicholas would have punched my face if I did, so call it even.

  What I got out of the situation was worth the wait. Nadia wanted me, and I had no strength to deny myself her perfect mouth while knowing she wanted me to taste her. Or maybe I was only justifying my weakness.

  I looked over to the oblivious Ethan. “I’m good. You?”

  “All the better after seeing this fine lady. How long has it been? It sure feels like a century!”

  Kiss-ass.

  Nadia headed back inside the house a moment later with Ethan at her side. I stayed, needing a minute or two to get my act together. I felt like a bouncing ball for the better part of the day. When I touched the ground, i.e. when Nadia was nowhere near, I was fine with not being able to sleep with her. As soon as I bounced back up, my reason went to hell. Since a bouncing ball spends way more time in the air than on the ground, I was fucked.

  Everyone sat at the table chatting and laughing when I walked back in a few minutes later. Ethan watched Nadia with a visible softness in his eyes, but she was too busy talking about art with Nick to notice his hearts and kisses attitude.

  Scorpio arrived with his girl, Jane, an hour later. Just like Ethan, he embraced Nadia in greeting, and just like with Ethan, Nadia froze. This time I saw her face. And more importantly—her eyes.

  I was right. She was scared. She did everything she could to endure those few short seconds in Scorpio’s arms, but inside I knew she was screaming. I glanced at Nick, but he didn’t seem to have noticed anything odd about her behaviour. No one looked alarmed, and that was why I stayed in my seat instead of getting up to shove Scorpio away.

  Maybe I misread her emotions? Maybe it wasn’t fear but aversion? Maybe she just wasn’t a hugger?

  I squeezed my neck, frustration growing by the minute. Instead of looking for a way to kill the obsession, I pushed forward, deeper into the madness. Deeper into the unknown.

  “Taxi will be here in an hour, so we better get a move on.”

  “We’re going out?” Nadia asked, taking a seat beside me once again.

  It might have been wishful thinking, but I could have sworn she sat closer than she did minutes ago.

  Ethan turned toward her. “We booked the VIP box at Vertigo, but if you would rather stay here…” he trailed off.

  “No. I just need to change my shoes.”

  She sprinted out of the room, followed by Ethan’s and my gaze. He was smiling; I was frowning, and Nadia looked relieved to catch a break.

  Thanking Nick’s lack of common sense because he picked a house project that didn’t have a downstairs toilet, I got up and, not needing an explanation, climbed the stairs to check on Nadia.

  I stopped in the middle of the upstairs hallway. The door to her room stood open, and Nadia sat on the floor, resting against the bed. A large bag lay beside her on the dark brown carpet, and she rummaged through it, taking out bottles of prescription pills. I counted seven.

  She took five tablets, closed her eyes, and a second later my stomach came up to my throat when she brought her hand up to wipe the tears I hadn’t noticed from afar. That was too much for me. Instead of doing something, anything to help her, I hid in the bathroom so she wouldn’t see me, my heart racing as fast as my thoughts.

  I rested my forehead on the cool tiles. A long time ago Nick told me that Nadia saw a psychiatrist for months after their father died. He mentioned medication, but I couldn’t recall much information. And I never would have expected that she was still on meds. Their father died almost three years ago.

  I left the bathroom only after I heard her heels on the stairs. For a moment I stood there, eyeing the door to her bedroom, trying to convince myself that I had no right to spy on her. It took effort, but I turned my back on the room that held a few answers.

  Nick gaped at Nadia’s arm, inspecting a small tattoo of a gun she had on her wrist. “When did you get it?”

  “Last month.”

  She made a gun with her finger and pulled the trigger. A genuine smile lit up her face before she stood up and left for the back garden with Ethan at her side. He didn’t even smoke.

  Nicholas shook his head looking at the door they disappeared behind. “It’s like I don’t even know her anymore.” He rubbed his temples. “First Adrian, now this. What else is she hiding?”

  It looked like she hid more than he could imagine. The trouble was that he didn’t seem to notice her problems, and I had no right to ask.

  “You’re such a girl, Nick. Grow a pair, will you?” Amelia cut in puffing like a pissed off Chihuahua. “She broke up with Adrian. So what? It’s not the end of the world. Did you expect her to marry the guy? She’s twenty-one!”

  “He would never leave her. She dumped him,” Nick hissed.

  “You don’t know what happened, but you only blame her. Yeah, when we met him, Adrian was perfect, but I’m sure she had a good reason to leave him.”

  “I guess, but it sucks. I like Adrian. They were good together.” Nick pursed his lips. “I just wish she would tell me what happened.”

  “She will. Give her some time.”

  I was only half involved in the conversation. The other half of my concentration went to trying to remain seated whilst Ethan was alone with Nadia outside. I couldn’t see them and my imagination ran wild. I raked my hand through my hair, then urged Scorpio and Nick to drink a shot with me, before shoving my hand into the front pocket of my jeans, looking for
cigarettes. I was acting ridiculous. Nadia and Ethan were friends long before I met either of them. They were just talking.

  Well, if they were just talking, there was no reason not to join them, right?

  Right.

  Ethan stood with his back pressed to the wall, watching Nadia in silence. Her breath caught when I sat down beside her, taking a cigarette out of the packet. Containing a triumphant smile proved almost impossible, but Ethan helped me out when he opened his mouth.

  “We could go to Pesto; it’s a great Italian restaurant.”

  Whoa. Did he just ask her out? How did that happen? He was afraid to chat a girl up in a club, but for Nadia he was a gigolo?

  “How about we go play pool?”

  She could have slapped me, and I wouldn’t tell the difference. Less than two hours earlier she sat in the same spot ready to kiss me, and now she agreed to go out on a date with Ethan.

  I should have nailed him when I had the opportunity. A vein throbbed in my neck when Ethan retreated inside, unharmed and winning.

  “Ethan? Really?” The accusation and disbelief in my voice was a whole level too desperate.

  Nadia pulled her eyebrows together. “I don’t follow.”

  “Why are you going out with him?”

  Her expression changed from confused to annoyed. “He asked me.”

  I gripped the bench with both hands. “That clears things up.”

  “It’s nice of you to care, but I already have a big brother, Thomas, so unless Ethan’s a rapist, a drug addict, or a murderer, you can leave the worrying to Nick.”

  Big brother? When have I acted like an overprotective brother? I was as far as possible from being her big brother, small brother or any other brother.

  She toyed with a lock of her dark hair, drawing her lip between the white teeth and pulling on it slowly. A rush of heat ran through me once I saw through her ploy. She wouldn’t go out with Ethan. She wanted me, but wanted to play a little. And I was a game.

  “You’re right. It’s none of my business. Just don’t leave me hanging, baby doll. You’re my date for the wedding.”

  “Of course, I am.”

  The atmosphere relaxed once we headed for the club. Nick’s good mood reappeared, which meant a conversation game. He glanced around searching the confined space of a taxi for something to spy.