Breathe Again

by Kamy Chetty

  His grip tightened as he watched Nick.

  Skye’s gaze flicked to the end of the room to where the teens stood. She needed to end this soon. “Does anyone know what he's taken?”

  Lenny laughed. “Are you trying to help me, Florence Nightingale?”

  Skylar could feel the cold steel against her flesh. His hand was tight around her chest. It made breathing hard. The reassuring glance she sent Nick’s way was waning. One wrong move from Lenny and he’d be at her side. “It doesn’t matter—soon the police will be here.”

  He laughed. “What can they do? Nothing. They have never been able to do anything.”

  So Lenny had issues. Nick was itching to bring him down.

  The ambulance still hadn't arrived, so they had time before the police were called.

  “Maybe they can help if you tell me what you need help with,” Skylar tried again.

  “Quit talking. I know what you're trying to do. You're distracting me. You want me to be thinking about something else so I don't know what you're doing. I know. I ain't stupid.”

  Nick moved closer. “Holding someone hostage in the emergency department is not stupid?”

  “Nick.” Skylar couldn't control Nick or what he was saying, but she could try to salvage this situation.

  Lenny’s hold was still tight, making it hard to breathe. “Lenny, you know that drugs will not get you out of this situation. I can get you help. I worked with many youth groups in the last few years.”

  “You? I don’t think so.” He laughed.

  “I know a lot more than you might think.” The mood across the room was getting tense. Security flanked them from both sides. Nick's gaze never left her. She knew he waited for his chance. If the kid let his guard down, even for a second, Nick would swoop in.

  Lenny gave a sarcastic laugh, widened his stance as the knife scraped against her skin. “Look at you with your Barbie-straight hair, your army waiting to pounce on me. Don’t anyone mess with me.”

  His grip tightened. Skylar coughed. Breathing was difficult.

  “Loosen your grip. She. Can’t. Breathe.” Nick was struggling.

  “How about you stay back?” Lenny pulled harder, not realizing that his actions would be the little thing that would set Nick off.

  Skylar met his granite gaze. Lenny’s hold was too tight for her to shake her head or talk. Nothing would have made a difference. Nick was coming at Lenny like a machine. Skylar swallowed and closed her eyes as the grip around her throat tightened. When she opened them, nothing had changed except Lenny was looking around like a scared rat.

  She pulled at the bony hand around her throat, but the more she pulled the tighter the hold got. The room spun, and everything played out in slow motion. Nick got closer, but the room darkened. The sounds around her lost volume. She pushed away from Lenny, pulled at his arm, but the grip was too strong. The more she tugged, the tighter the hold got, the darker the room got.

  She blinked slowly, held Nick’s gaze, until darkness took over.

  *****

  Nick Delaney's heart stopped.

  Then as though God himself had put his hand into his chest and squeezed out each beat with every step he took, a stuttered thud was all he could manage until he stood in front of the skinny kid with an unconscious Skylar in his arms.

  “I killed her.” The boy panicked and dropped the knife. He fell to his knees with Skylar in his arms. “I ain’t killed no one before.”

  Nick took Skylar from the scared boy, and held her close. The security guards swooped in and took Lenny away.

  Nick looked down at Skylar who lay there so still. This couldn’t be real. Her skin was warm against his. He tried to think about the last words he said to her. The words he could never say to her were right there on the tip of his tongue. This couldn’t be real.

  He was pushed aside from behind. “Nick, get out of the way.”

  Someone took Skylar from him. He didn’t see who.

  “Is she allergic to any drugs?” a familiar voice asked.

  He looked up at the fifth-year resident and shook his head. No. She wasn’t.

  “Well, is she?” the doctor repeated.

  Nick swallowed past the lump in his throat and stood. “She has no allergies.”

  “Doctor Delaney, why don’t you wait in the family room? We’ll call you when there is news. She’s one of ours—we’ll take good care of her.”

  The incident played in his mind, over and over like a horror movie that was stuck on a weird loop. She shouldn’t have been in that situation. He should have reacted quicker. He should have saved her. He was a trained soldier who had failed. Again.

  Nick looked at the doctor and gave a slight nod before walking away. Again. Something he was getting good at.

  It was an hour before there was news. Full recovery. Good as new. He watched from the window as everyone went into her room to wish her well. People she worked with, patients she’d helped that evening who hadn’t yet been released, so many people whose lives she’d had an effect on—people who wouldn’t be the same if she weren’t there anymore. He scratched the surface of the thick, cold glass with his index fingernail, watching as she smiled at her visitors. His throat constricted with insatiable need. Unrequited passion.

  She hadn’t asked for him when she came too, not that he expected her to. Their marriage was over; she didn’t owe him anything. She didn’t look for him in the crowd, even now when the crowd was thinning. Her gaze didn’t seek his, as his often looked for hers. She looked tired as she brushed back the strawberry strands that had escaped from the ponytail she usually wore when she worked.

  Damn, he missed those times when he’d kiss her, watch her cheeks go all flushed. He’d let his fingers run through those soft, silky strands of hair, and he’d breathe in that scent of orange blossoms. He squeezed his hand shut, making a fist against the glass.

  Nick watched as Skylar lifted her hand to rub the side of her nose. His gaze narrowed as his gut clenched. She wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. He hadn’t noticed before.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his scuffed boots, both his hands curled tight. It was what he’d wanted, so why did his heart take on that erratic beat at the thought he’d lost her?

  Chapter Two

  “Are you going to be okay?” Judie asked as she dropped Skylar off in front of her apartment the next morning.

  Skylar swallowed a disappointed sigh and pulled out a smile that hurt. This should have been Nick bringing her home, but his absence made it clear how little he wanted to do with her. “Hey, I am great. I will be back at work in a few days.”

  Judie took her hand. “Don’t do that, not with me. I know you. We’ve been friends for a long time. I wish I could come in and stay a while, but I have school drop-offs this morning.”

  Skylar’s heart ached. “I really am okay. I’ll call if I need anything. Promise.”

  She waved as Judie pulled away from the house. Ruffling her fingers through her hair, she walked up the three steps to her front door. The house was quiet and dark.

  She tiptoed toward her room, when a flash of heat and unwarranted arousal caused her to stop in front of Nick’s door. Instead of questioning her state of mind, she placed her hand around the cold brass doorknob and turned it. Only after she slid the door open, did she let out the breath she didn’t realize she held. She stepped into his room and looked around.

  He was asleep, his usual routine after a night shift. The pristine state of his room was unlike her chaotic system. Another sign she chose to ignore when it came to the compatibility test. He lay on his back with his arm flung on the pillow beside him. She liked lying on her tummy or in fetal position. They were nothing alike.

  He moaned.

  She blinked slowly, then as if in a dream, her hands went to the buttons of her jeans and she found herself undoing them. Slowly she peeled them off and tentatively dropped them on the wooden floor, holding her breath as she watched him for a response. He w
as so tired that he didn’t even stir. Skye unbuttoned her shirt, thinking this would have been much more fun if he was awake. She bit her lip. The anticipation was killing her.

  Not believing that she was about to seduce her husband, she pulled off her socks and took a step forward. She remembered this part being easier.

  Then unsure of anything but the next moment, she lurched forward and slipped into the bed beside him. She wrapped her hands around his waist and sighed. Holding him always felt like she was coming home. She breathed in his scent and smiled. She’d missed that.

  This time when he moaned, he opened his eyes.

  “Skylar, that you?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  Skylar’s hand curled around his neck as her leg entwined around his in hot need. “I sure do hope so. It would be awkward if it were the cleaner. Besides, she’s not due in till Thursday.”

  Desire forced down any modesty when the blankets slipped off her as Nick sat up, rubbing his eyes in surprise.

  This is where I belong.

  *****

  This had better be a dream. If it was real, then the good Lord loved torture. The moment Skylar got into bed with him, he felt as if he’d been doused in ice water. He knew what that felt like, and this came too close. He swallowed past the rubble in his throat waiting for the grenade to go off. There had to be one, right? Why else would a half-naked Skylar be in his bed?

  “Bab—” Damn, this was harder than he’d imagined. He sat up straighter, pulled his fingers through his mussed hair and stared at her through sleep-filled eyes. “Skye, I was going to come into the hospital and pick you up later. What are you doing here?” In bed. Almost naked. He couldn’t say the words. Could he? Maybe the lack of oxygen had affected her more than they all thought, and she believed they were still married.

  “I’m sorry. Judie brought me home. I know I’m not meant to be here.” She scooted away from him, and pulled the sheet up to her chest.

  Nick swallowed a breath. Damn his wife—soon to be ex-wife—was damn gorgeous. Especially when she looked at him with those come-get-me eyes.

  She looked down at her fingers as she scratched at the thread of the sheet for a few moments. Finally, she gave him that doe-eyed gaze.

  He watched her swallow, knew where this would lead and felt his gut clench in need.

  “I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone.” She turned before the mist in her eyes transformed to more.

  He put his hand at the back of his head, hoping he could release the tension that lay knotted there. “Skye, it’s a bad idea.”

  She shook her head. “I know.”

  The hurt in her voice tamped with need was enough to tempt the strongest man, and when it came to Skylar, he was always weak. He shifted closer and took her face in his hands. Her chin dropped, and her hand went to his cheek.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” He knew something was different. She was different.

  “I don’t know. I feel so emotional, and I don’t know why.”

  He lifted a finger and traced the path of a tear along her cheek. Then he bent his head and traced the same path with his tongue. With the taste of salt still tangy on his tongue and the heat and softness of her skin, the months of not having her, the aching for her, he felt his resolve start to break.

  He moved his hand to her hair, and he tucked her hair behind her ear, before tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue. Her sudden intake of breath got him hard. This was something even the Marines didn’t prepare a man for. No amount of combat could ever have prepared him for the effect Skylar would have on him.

  He knew she was as affected as he was. She pulled his head down and opened her mouth, claiming his for a kiss. She tasted of coffee and mint toothpaste…and berry gloss. He groaned.

  For weeks, he’d keep her lip gloss with him, like an obsessed person who could never get enough. There’d be moments when he would miss her, and he would take out that lip gloss and take in its scent, like a stalker or madman. Now he was kissing the real woman and he was so hard, so filled with need for her, he couldn’t think straight.

  He plunged his tongue into her mouth like a greedy goblin wanting more and more. Not satisfied with just her mouth, he wanted to touch every part of her. He moved his hand to her right breast and rubbed her nipple. At her groan, his erection twitched against her hip.

  She squirmed against him, pressing her pelvis harder against him before breaking away from his mouth.

  He pulled her hair away from her face and looked into her eyes, eyes that were now hunter green with desire. “What is it?”

  “I missed you so much.” Her voice had the throaty huskiness of need.

  He closed his eyes, taking a moment before opening them again. It would be easy to do this. Right now, he was thinking with a different part of his body, and he couldn’t remember why he and Skylar didn’t work.

  “I know that righteous look Nick. Don’t.” Skylar grabbed his shoulder and tugged hard.

  “If we make love now, it’s not going to change anything. It will make things worse,” he said.

  She pulled away from him. “I wasn’t asking for a lifetime of promises again. I wanted—”

  “Wanted?” He watched her for a response. He knew she didn’t have one. Lord knew he wanted her. He’d always want her—nothing would change that.

  “Maybe I wanted sex. One night of rough and tumble sex. Sex without strings.”

  He swallowed the soft curse. Sex without strings. Damn, she knew how to hit, and hit him hard. “Why, Skylar?”

  “This is the twenty-first century, and a girl like me has needs. We’re still married on paper, so I feel weird having sex with someone else.” She lifted herself off the bed and purposefully left the sheet behind.

  He watched her naked behind as she walked toward her clothes, which she’d discarded by the door. Skye didn’t have a perfect heart-shaped behind, but she did have one that was worth looking at. One worth touching and—

  “Like I was saying…” She turned to him.

  Nick moved his attention to her breasts. This woman wanted to kill him, of that he was sure.

  “What’s a girl who is recently separated going to do? Go to some singles bar and hang out? Not really my thing.” She slipped on her jeans, leaving the top button undone.

  “You don’t drink.” He watched her every move.

  “I know. Work also doesn’t leave too much time for socializing.” She pulled on her bra and wiggled up and down to do up the straps.

  If Nick didn’t know Skye any better, he’d swear she knew exactly how her dressing was affecting him. Between her talk of dating and sex and her wiggling around, she had him panting for her.

  “So all I was going to be was a good lay?” he asked, confused.

  She cocked her head and pursed her lips. “Good? Nah. You, Babe, were always a great lay.”

  “That it then?” What had just taken place? He understood she was upset. He couldn’t figure out why.

  “I live in hope that you’ll stop being a machine and start being human.” With that, she picked up the rest of her things and walked out, leaving Nick to scratch his head and wonder if he’d dreamt the entire thing.

  *****

  “Could you repeat that? Slowly this time.” Skylar watched the fifth-year resident twitch his nose before pushing up his glasses.

  It has been two days since the incident with Lenny, and this was her first shift back. The resident doctor who’d treated her that night had insisted on speaking to her about the tests he’d taken even though she’d reassured him she was feeling absolutely fine. They were in one of the empty consulting rooms, with Skylar sitting on the bed, her legs dangling off.

  “Congratulations, nurse Delaney. You’re pregnant.” He clicked his pen and placed it in his pocket, giving her another smile.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought you said, but that’s impossible.” Or was it?

  His brow creased, causing those bushy eyebrows to knit together eerily. �
�We’ve done the test. It’s positive. All we need to do is a scan and I can let you know how far along you are.”

  Did he have to be so darn happy about it? Skylar looked around the small consulting room. She wasn’t used to being on the other side of surprising news. Unexpected, blow-her-mind news. The room dimmed and spun.

  “About those tests, you haven’t told anyone, have you?” Skylar held her breath, waiting for his answer.

  He scratched his chin. “That’s an odd question, unless you mean did I discuss it with your husband? No, I didn’t.”

  The room seemed to stop spinning. A little. “Right.”

  “But you know how it works down here. We do our best to maintain privacy, but when a name pops up that is familiar, the active grapevine has its way.”

  Heck on wheels. How was she going to explain this without the truth coming out? Once Nick found out—

  She couldn’t bear to think what would happen if Nick found out. She rubbed at her face as reality set it. This was happening for real. Yes, she’d wanted this to happen—three freakin’ months ago, when there was a chance for her marriage. Not now.

  “Do you want to do the scan now or wait for Doctor Delaney?” he asked.

  Skylar looked around for a small throw-able object. Was this doctor the only one around unaware of the dynamics between her and Nick?

  Sensing her mood, the doctor was quick to make his exit.

  She leaned back on the bed of the empty consult room as she contemplated her next steps.

  Step one: Get the hell out of dodge before Nick finds out.

  Step two: Quit wasting time and complete step one.

  After a soft knock on the door, Nick walked in. Skylar’s shoulders slumped.

  Step three: You’re an ass for being such a bad planner.