AMAZING HEART (Broken Bottles Series Book 4)

by Pamela Taeuffer

  "What are you looking for?"

  "I'm running a complete blood panel to look at your electrolytes, your white and red blood cell counts, your glucose, iron, vitamins B and D and some other indicators."

  "Indicators of what?"

  "Of a body that's depleted because its owner didn't take care of herself."

  "I know." I looked away ashamed.

  "I'd also like to run an STD work-up while we're at it, so we have a starting point moving forward. Is that all right?"

  "Yeah, go ahead." I watched as he filled the little glass vials with my blood. I looked at Ryan. His head was down.

  "Just one more thing, can you walk over to the sofa?" Doctor Welluck asked after capping the last vial and putting a Band-Aid on my arm. "Lie down when you get there."

  I did as he asked. He put his hands on my abdomen and pressed down, felt along my ribs and my sides, rotated my ankles, and asked me if anything hurt. After telling him no, he rolled a small device similar to a pizza wheel on the bottom of my feet.

  "That tickles." I laughed, pulling my foot away.

  "Good." He turned to Ryan. "She's sharp."

  "Yes, she is," Ryan agreed.

  "You don't appear to be impaired, Ms. Young. There can be a delayed reaction to internal injuries, but I don't think you're in any danger. Nevertheless, I want you to stay here. Ryan will watch you."

  "Well, you can't see it," I began.

  "See . . .?" Dr. Welluck trailed off.

  "I am impaired. It won't show in any medical tests, but your friend, Mr. Tilton has impaired me for sure."

  Ryan shook his head, but was sporting a smile.

  "You've got a lot to handle here, son." Dr. Welluck had a twinkle in his eye. "All right, Ms. Young; you can go ahead and sit up. I want to watch you walk a straight line."

  I got up and immediately lost my balance. Ryan caught me from behind.

  "I can do it. I tripped, that's all." I noticed the doctor's concerned look. "Watch, Doctor." I walked another line without incident. "I'm a klutz. I even tripped at the ballpark a few weeks ago. I can't dance very well, either. I even took dance and gymnastics classes. I have to practice a lot with the cheer routines and stuff. Repetition is the key to success."

  Why did I just say all that?

  "With a sense of humor like yours, it's hard to tell if you need further attention," Dr. Welluck said with a wink, "but I'd say we're done here." He gave me the medication, reviewed the instructions with Ryan and me, and closed his leather doctor's bag. "You're going to take it easy tonight, aren't you, Ms. Young?"

  "Yes."

  "Here's my card. It lists my personal number. Give it two hours and call me immediately if your pressure remains elevated or your headache continues. The machine I used is an upgraded model from the Goliaths' training room. You should take readings every few hours."

  Ryan brought over a glass of water for me and I washed down the pills.

  "Thank you." I looked up at him uncertain and confused.

  "Be sure you take all the blood pressure medicine, even when you start to feel better," Dr. Welluck advised. "I also want you to drink another cup of soup and take a nice long bath. Ryan's housekeeper filled the tub. Relax and let your body wind down. If you need anything else, Ryan can get it for you."

  The tenderness on Ryan's face poured over me. It was as if I was a sheer, delicate cloth and he, beautiful ink and slowly spreading through me.

  "Whatever you do, Ms. Young, stay calm and don't argue," Dr. Welluck said. "Your system needs to relax. Save the anger for another day, all right? You don't need to add any more stress to your heart or your head. Do I make myself clear?"

  "Yes, doctor. Thank you so much." I was beyond grateful. "I won't yell too loudly at him."

  "Well, you might even thank Ryan. He's the one who made sure I came to see you. He worried that you wouldn't take care of yourself. I'd say from the way you handled your nutrition he has a valid point. Would you agree?"

  I didn't respond. Instead, I looked away from both of them.

  "You can see by her reaction, it's true," Ryan revealed. "She looks away when she's embarrassed or knows you're right."

  Damn, he knows me too well.

  "Shows a lot of concern by a pesky boy if you ask me," Dr. Welluck patted my back. "Don't you think so, Ms. Young?"

  I didn't respond.

  "Call me next week for a follow-up visit."

  "I will, Doctor. Thank you again."

  Maybe coming here was a good idea. The way my family deals with every trauma . . . it would have been two aspirin for me and then to bed.

  "I'll have this blood work back Monday," Dr. Welluck informed. "I'll call you with the results." He and Ryan shook hands and we were left alone in the apartment.

  I sat on the sofa deciding what to do next. Ryan came toward me.

  "I don't want to talk right now." I waved him off.

  "Let me help you to the bathroom." He held out his hand, inviting me to take it. "You can take your bath and relax."

  "I'm not weak," I said curtly. "I can make it myself." I didn't want to feel his hand or body touch mine in any way. I'd already held onto him too long before my examination.

  Be careful, touching gets you too close.

  "Yes, Nicky, I know you're not weak and you can make it on your own. I just want to be sure you don't trip because you're such a klutz."

  "You're not funny." I tried to hide my smile. It was funny and I couldn't help but laugh. I let him help me. It was the smart thing to do.

  He took my right arm and gently placed it around his waist. As he held my hand there, he put his left arm around my back.

  Oh, how I've missed him!

  "I saw you trip outside Java House, by the way." He held the weight of my entire body as we walked to the bathroom. I knew I was secure in his arms.

  "Oh, God. I tore my pants and those teenage boys . . ."

  "You were adorable the way you tried to cover up your embarrassment." Before I could debate or protest, he continued. "My housekeeper left a robe and slippers in the bathroom for you. They're brand new." He leaned close and whispered, "I got them just for you."

  Oh damn, I’m toast.

  "I put another cup of soup on the shelf by the tub. You can sit in the water while you sip it," his voice was like a warm caress. "When you undress, sit on the side first and then get in slowly. If you need help, I can call Jeanne to come back."

  "I can do it," I insisted.

  "Take your time and let me know if you need anything. I'll check on you in a little while." He had definitely calmed my anxiety. My headache was almost gone. "Do you want me to call your mom and update her?"

  "Please."

  "I'll leave the door open a crack so I can hear you. I'll be right outside."

  That Ryan had any control over me was frustrating. Disaster always loomed whenever anyone had a say so in my life. I was too exhausted to debate it. The only way I'd keep from falling for him again was to stay far away from him mentally and physically. I was reluctant to look at his face and tried my best not to. I had no choice when it came to his sexy voice, however. I knew his smile and his masculine laugh would break down my resolve.

  I stepped out of my clothes, grabbed the side grips of the big sunken tub, and lowered myself into the heated water. There must have been a regulator somewhere because the water temperature was perfect and stayed that way without cooling down even a little. It soothed me and felt fantastic as it inched up my body. Grabbing one of the towels folded neatly on the side of the tub, I pulled it on top of my chest and abdomen. The water soaked through, turning the towel into a warm, comfortable blanket that hugged me.

  Gradually, my body calmed. My shoulders loosened their grip on my neck. I reached for the soup on the shelf and ate it one spoonful at a time. When I was done, I placed the empty bowl next to me and then lay still, floating and suspended in my purgatory. My head grew heavy. I could feel myself drifting. I finally succumbed to some much-needed sleep.
It seemed like it had been only minutes when I heard Ryan's voice pulling me from the world of misty gray.

  "Wake up Nicky." His voice called to my woman's body. "Come on, honey. Sit up."

  Chapter 24

  Glistening

  Still trying to shake my fuzziness, I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them. When I did, I squeezed the water-soaked towel against my breasts. My back was exposed.

  "I'll rinse the soap bubbles off of you," Ryan said. "Is that okay?"

  "Mm-hmm," I felt sated and comfortable. It was as if my whole body had fallen asleep. My tongue wasn't close to saying anything logical.

  Ryan turned the brass faucet handles until water flowed quiet and steady. He soaked a dry sponge under the water. I watched as it doubled in size. Warm water fell down my back; the suds fell from my body along with my pain.

  "Your hair is dirty from your fall. I'll wash it and gently massage your head," he whispered. "You tell me if it doesn't feel good or your headache worsens, all right?"

  "Mmm."

  Kneeling on the thick, furry rug by the side of the bathtub, Ryan shielded my forehead and protected my eyes. When the sponge became swollen again, he crushed it in his hand, and the water ran through my hair. The warmth poured over me. He lathered his hands with shampoo and carefully rubbed it in my hair.

  Oh damn, his strong hands and thick fingers . . . all over my aching scalp . . . the size of them are . . . I feel like letting my mouth open.

  My body blushed as chills raced from my head, to my neck, across my back, over my thighs and down my legs. When I heard his sexy laugh I knew he'd witnessed the visual signs of my enjoyment.

  Dammit, he never misses anything.

  It was as if my heart had opened again. I couldn't let it this soon, could I? Wouldn't it be the same scenario? Was he really sincere?

  "Keep your eyes closed so I can rinse your hair."

  I was so relaxed that I didn't respond.

  "Okay, Nicky?" He tapped my shoulder with concern.

  "Yeah."

  I'm sinking deeply, invisibly, into his arms. I'm like a baby in her first bath . . . warm, secure, cuddled, and loved.

  He rinsed my hair, twisted and gathered it in his hands, and gently pushed it in front of me. It fell on the wet towel covering my breasts.

  "I love your hair."

  The quiet in the bathroom magnified each noise—Ryan's breath, the rustle of his clothes, a crack of his knuckle, the water as it poured from the faucet and the trickle of it as it spilled from the sponge onto my body—all of it seemed a composition of sound.

  As if dawn had crept into Ryan's apartment, I felt my shadows lifting.

  His thumbs felt like firm, rubber balls; they eased the knots from the base of my neck, moved down my spine, and loosened my muscles one at a time. My shoulders tingled in goose bumps. As he rinsed my back, I imagined the droplets of water fell into shining pools of promise.

  "Are you all right?" He took off the Band-Aid and cotton Dr. Welluck had placed on my arm.

  I nodded.

  Ryan looked at my other arm, where my IV had been inserted at the ballpark and then at me. He kissed my palm and cradled it in his hands.

  "Oh, Nicky." His eyes became teary.

  I couldn't turn away from what seemed to be love. He cupped my elbow, peeled off the dressing and removed the cotton underneath. In an unexpected move, he leaned over and kissed me at the spot where the needle had left its mark. The moment reminded me of his kiss on my forehead when we were on the beach. His simple gesture told me there was so much more to his feelings than I'd previously understood.

  His soft, moist lips felt lovely the way they lingered on my arm. I wanted to reach out and bring him closer to me. There was a fiery sensation beginning to rush through my veins. The heat flowed into my belly and down my legs. I wanted to caress him and tell him I was his—but was afraid to share my emotions.

  I was coming back to life.

  When his mouth lifted from the needle mark, he rested his chin in the bend of my soft forearm. I cradled his head. His smile mirrored happiness and contentment. Although he was anything but, I thought him as innocent in many ways.

  He closed his eyes.

  My heart softened.

  I heard baby feet walking and moving around me, encouraging the little steps I'd need to continue making. Whispers fell softly. I heard my mantra knock: give in, let go, give in, let go.

  My trust for Ryan had twinkled again.

  My shadows dimmed.

  I took another little step forward.

  A power rose through my body that wouldn’t allow me to run, or leave things unsaid.

  I could feel it.

  I welcomed it.

  I wanted it.

  "I'm going to help you out of the tub." Ryan reached for me. "Don't fight me."

  "I won't."

  More than just my body gave in to him when he put his arm around me and helped me out of the tub. I stepped onto the furry carpet. The water-soaked towel that had previously been my blanket, dropped off. I reached for it. Ryan took my hands in his to stop me.

  "Your rug will get soaked," I panicked.

  I watched as he bent down to pick up the towel. He tossed it in the bathtub and then stood up with his eyes closed. I wondered if my nakedness bothered him.

  "Don't make any sudden movements." He opened his eyes. "Keep your body relaxed. I'll guide you."

  He reached for an oversized bath towel folded on one of the shelves above the tub and put it around my shoulders.

  "I'll take the strain from your body if you'll let me." He paused. We were silent. He breathed deeply. "Raise your arms with mine so I can wrap this towel around you. I don't want you reaching for or lifting anything. Just let your weight fall on me. You've already proven you're strong. You don't need to worry about being strong tonight." His words were a song composed only for me. "Will you let me take your pain away?"

  "Yes."

  Listening to him made everything inside me stir. Even as I tried to calm my head, whenever he came near and that deep voice crawled all over me, I became breathless.

  He stood behind me, lifting both of my hands. It was glorious. I felt as if we were giving thanks to a higher power, inviting new energy into our love.

  "My Shakti." His voice was plush velvet.

  Chills rose up and spread from my shoulders to my calves.

  He held one end of the towel in his mouth and used the other to grasp the side that still dangled. He wrapped it around my body.

  My belly pulsed with one beat . . . and then another.

  When he leaned forward, he brushed against me. Another wave of chills covered my body. Letting me know he'd seem them rise, his arousing laugh saturated the room. It was hard for me to stay still knowing his eyes took in my nakedness.

  "I can do it." I have to say something.

  "I know you can." It was if his words floated on tropical trade winds. An assuredness began to fill the space around us. He fixed the towel so my arms secured it.

  As if my body had merged with his, he moved me slowly and gently. His dance was delicate. His fingers knew how to work the small intricate pieces of our story and were adept at positioning all the details of us within the fabric of our hopes and dreams.

  That night, we fit together easily.

  "I'll use this towel to pat you dry, all right?" His words oozed like golden honey.

  "Mm-hmm," I repeated.

  When he opened the towel to dry my body, it fell down on one side. I reached for it, not wanting him to see me naked again.

  "Don't worry." He grabbed the towel and then fastened it. "I'll catch you, Nicky. I'll always catch you."

  Oh, I'm . . . going away. He's soothing, I'm flooding . . . his sweetness is . . . like a field of flowers and he's the breeze that gently bends them in waves. He makes me open . . . I'm opening.

  He patted my body dry without his hands touching my skin. I tried to keep the hunger inside of me under control. I wondered
, was the pulsing under my skin from the throbbing ache of sickness or was it my rising desire?

  "Keep your arms down while I wrap your hair." He squeezed out the last of the water and then wound it like a turban.

  "The bath sheet is still open in the back," I reminded.

  "It's open so I can massage you with lotion. It'll help take the tension from your body. Grab my arm and sit down on the side of the tub. I'll hold the towel so it won't fall."

  He kissed me at the base of my neck.

  Ooh I've missed your lips.

  Ryan put his arm out so I could lean on it as I sat down on the side of the tub.

  "I'll be such a good man for you." He looked directly into my eyes. "I respect you, Nicky. I'm here. I'm here forever."

  Where am I?

  What kind of man is he?

  I’m floating, circling, tumbling, just from the sound of his loving words.

  Sinking now . . .

  Sinking into . . .

  Him.

  Chapter 25

  A Gentle Rub

  Ryan tipped a bottle of lotion and let the thick, creamy liquid mound on his palm. Rubbed his hands together. Smoothed the richness on my body in long, firm strokes. Began at my shoulders and moved to the base of my spine, his fingertips sliding up and down, applying perfect and direct pressure, pushing gently into the ridges of my ribs and sides, stopping where my breasts began their soft, warm crease.

  He fastened the towel so it closed; I thought it signaled his completion. Then knelt in front of me. The look on his face softened my resistance and my body. I wanted to embrace him and cover him with kisses of gratitude.

  "Now your legs." His voice was quiet and soothing. Slipping down my calf to my ankle, he lifted my right leg and set it on his hip. As he rubbed the front and back of my thigh, I felt as if his fingertips made hot ski runs down my calf. "Your skin is dry. It's absorbing all the lotion. I'm just . . ." He reached for the bottle. "Don't neglect yourself like this again."

  "My Shiva." I caressed his arm. Ooh those veins standing up on his forearm, his phoenix tattoo, and the way his muscles tighten . . . Dancing lightly up and down his arm, I played with the golden brown hairs that covered it. I pressed my palm down on his bicep and gave it a squeeze. His smile told me he enjoyed his nickname. The strong desire to honor and hold him because of what he'd done filled every part of me. I gave myself to him. "I love these." I could no longer resist the urge to trace the veins that stood up underneath his skin. "If a woman had these they would be so ugly, but yours . . . mmm, I love them."