Say You Love Me

by Patricia Hagan

  Michael shook his fist at him. "You've disobeyed me for the last time. Get your gear and leave Red Oakes by noon tomorrow or I'll order you shot on sight."

  "You ain't got no call to do that," Zach said tightly, his own fists clenching with the urge to pound Michael into the ground. "I told you, I just wanted to get her home fast as I could."

  "I don't like you and I don't trust you. And I damn well don't have to put up with the likes of you."

  Jacie put her hand on Michael's arm and brought it down to his side. "There's no need for this. Zach forgot, like he said. He had been worried too, and he wasn't thinking about what he was doing." She wanted no trouble, and Zach had been a friend in the past, however wrong he had been to kiss her. She would like to forget the incident and concentrate on her impending journey.

  But Zach did not get her meaning, thrilled over how she had taken up for him, lied for him. He had been right, he told himself happily, despite the situation at hand. She did have a hankering for him. "You heard her," he retorted, "and you better think about it. I'm a good overseer and you know it. Your daddy knew it, too. That's why he hired me."

  "My father is dead. I run things now, Newton, but you haven't been able to accept that. That's why I'm ordering you out of here."

  "You got no call. Not like this. How about if you just give yourself time to calm down, and we talk about this in private tomorrow? You give me a second chance." Ordinarily, Zach knew he would have told him to go hell, but now that he was confident Jacie wanted him as much as he wanted her, he didn't want to leave Red Oakes.

  "You heard me," Michael said grimly, taking Jacie's arm. "If you're anywhere on my land after noon tomorrow, you're a dead man."

  He began to lead Jacie back toward the house, but they had only gone a few steps when she turned to look back at Zach and shake her head in pity.

  Zach was shaking he was so mad, but it made him feel better that Jacie had looked at him like she had and thought what a shame it was it hadn't worked out.

  Jacie Calhoun, he knew, would have been one delicious slice of pie.

  Chapter 8

  Michael gave Jacie time to take a bath and change, then sent word she was expected to join everyone for dinner. He also asked her to wear the diamond and amethyst necklace, secretly hoping it would remind her of why he had given it to her and evoke tender memories to dispel the tension between them.

  Jacie dreaded going but knew there was no way to avoid the gathering without a scene. Michael had hardly spoken on their walk back to the house, and she had found herself wondering if maybe he actually thought there was something going on between her and Zach. If that was the case, she was even more glad she had chosen to go with Mehlonga. It might be good for her and Michael to be apart for a while. Sudie came to help her dress, and as she brushed her hair the girl told her, "You sure had everybody scared today, Miss Jacie. I ain't never seen Master Blake in such a dither, not knowing where you were."

  Jacie could not resist teasing her. "Well, it's a shame you couldn't tell him like you did last time."

  "I'm sorry," Sudie muttered.

  "No, it's all right. You thought you were doing the right thing."

  "I was afraid Master Newton would get mad, and I sure don't want him mad at me. He can be real mean, Miss Jacie." She lowered her voice to speak of the man all the slaves feared. "I's so scared of him."

  Ordinarily, Jacie would never have confided such a matter to a servant, much less a child, but something made her want to put Sudie at ease. "It doesn't matter now. Master Newton will be leaving Red Oakes. Master Blake fired him today."

  Sudie dropped the hairbrush to clap her hands in glee. "Oh, I'm so glad. Don't nobody like him, Miss Jacie. He's mean to us when Master Blake ain't around. He even beat my pappy once, and my pappy had to wear a shirt, even though it was summertime, so the whip marks wouldn't show, 'cause he knew if Master Blake saw, he'd get mad at Master Newton, and then Master Newton might kill him. I sure ain't sorry to see him go."

  Jacie was horrified. "Are you telling the truth, Sudie? Mr. Newton whipped the workers?"

  Sudie knew she had said too much. "You won't say I told, will you?"

  Jacie believed her, assured her she would say nothing, and in that moment made up her mind she no longer cared what happened to Zach. He might have been her friend once, but no more, not after she'd learned how cruel he was.

  Everyone was already at the table when she entered the dining room. Taking her seat, she nodded politely to Olivia, who regarded her coolly. Verena was gracious and clucked about how glad she was that Jacie had been found safely, and Elyse smiled and said she also was relieved.

  "Well, it's over now," Michael said with a flourish, signaling to the hovering servant to pour them each a glass of scuppernong wine. "Jacie is fine, and we'll have no more problems. As soon as I return from Charleston, we'll start planning the biggest wedding Georgia has ever seen."

  Jacie focused her attention on the wine.

  Olivia drew a sharp breath. She and Verena were in agreement that a wedding simply could not take place so soon after the death of Jacie's parents. "Not before spring," she declared firmly. "It would be improper."

  "I'm not concerned with propriety," Michael said. "Jacie is all alone now. She needs me to take care of her. Don't you agree, my dear?" He flashed a smile at her.

  Jacie was not about to join in the conversation, even though she was the topic. Spring was fine with her. That was when she planned to return from Texas, if not before, but she could not tell anyone that, could only bide her time till dawn. Hedging, she responded, "I really don't feel like discussing any of this tonight, Michael. I'm tired."

  "Of course, you are, dear," Olivia said, feigning compassion. "By the way, what were you doing this afternoon to have made you so exhausted? That must have been a very long walk."

  "I think we should change the subject," Michael said then. "She doesn't want to talk about it."

  "Well, I was just wanting to make sure she wasn't with that dirty old Indian again. Did you do as I asked and order him shot on sight? We've put up with him far too long."

  "Mother, there was too much else going on, and—"

  "Don't you dare!" Jacie got to her feet, unable to stand any more. "You don't just order someone killed because they're tending sick people, Michael." She whirled on Olivia, "And I'm surprised at you for asking him to. You're always going on about manners and refinement, yet you demand the death of a harmless man. You should be ashamed of yourself."

  "Well—well, I never..." Olivia sputtered indignantly.

  Jacie bolted from the room, but Michael caught up with her as she was about to run up the stairs. "That was uncalled for," he admonished her. "You know Mother didn't really mean what she said. She's been demanding that old coot shot for years. Now I want you to come back to the dining room, apologize, and finish your dinner."

  "And I want you to stop treating me like a child and giving me orders." She plucked his hand from her arm, lifting her chin defiantly. Even though he did not know she was leaving, she felt the need to let him know she had no intention of ever being subservient. "You are not my master, Michael. I am not your slave."

  His face darkened. "But you are going to be my wife, and you will vow on our wedding day to obey me. Love, honor, obey. You can't say the words unless you mean them."

  "I don't intend to," she fired back.

  "Listen to me." He pushed his anger back. "I don't like it when we argue and I'm leaving early in the morning, way before dawn, because I want to take the first train for Charleston. We won't have another chance to talk, and I don't want us to part like this. Now please, come back with me and make peace. I'm going to do everything I can while we're away to convince Mother to give her blessing to our marriage right away, and it would help if she isn't angry with you."

  "I just can't." Jacie could stand no more of his mother's criticism of Mehlonga. "Make my excuses, please. I am going to bed. Good night, Michael."

  She
went on up the steps, but she could feel him staring after her and knew he was hurt and miserable. She did not want to leave him that way and turned to tell him, "Everything will turn out for the best, Michael. You'll see." And she hurried to her room.

  Michael wondered what on earth she was talking about. It worried him how strangely she had been acting lately, and he was concerned it might not altogether have to do with her parents dying so close together. He also did not like what he thought he had seen earlier; though he'd been a good distance away, it appeared that Zach was kissing her, but she would not have lied for him unless...

  He gave his head a brisk shake. He would not allow himself to contemplate such a possibility. Jacie would never have anything to do with the likes of Zach Newton, or any other man but him. He was being silly, and once he got back from Charleston, everything would be fine. He would make it so.

  * * *

  It seemed to Jacie that it took forever till the house became dark and still. She crept from her room and tiptoed downstairs to the study. There, after lighting a small lantern and making sure the door to the foyer was closed, she sat down behind Michael's desk and wrote her letter:

  My dearest Michael,

  I am going away for a while, but please do not worry. There is something I must do. I cannot explain it to you now, but when I return in the spring, or before, I will tell you everything.

  Affectionately, Jacie

  Unfastening the necklace, she placed it beside the letter. She was not about to take something so valuable with her. It might be lost or stolen, or, God forbid, something might happen to her and she would never return.

  There was a closet in the study that went through to the back hallway. Servants could move in and out, when summoned, without having to go through the main hall and foyer to enter. Absorbed in what she was doing, Jacie was unaware that the door to the closet had opened just a crack.

  The letter finished, she took her satchel, which was empty, and let herself quietly out the front door, hurrying down the moonlit path to the cabin. She was wearing a simple muslin dress and would carry only one change of clothing, leaving room for the blanket. When it was packed, she breathed a sigh of relief that everything was taken care of. All she had to do was wait.

  She went to the swing on the front porch and sat down, too nervous to sleep, and began to talk aloud to herself, whispering in the night. "I can't believe I'm going. Texas. Bird's Fort, Texas. I wonder how far it is. He said he'd see that he got me there. Oh, please God," she prayed fervently, "Let me find my mother. I know she's still alive. I just feel it, somehow."

  She got up and went slowly to the graves. "I'm going to find her," she said to Violet's simple headstone. "So rest in peace..." Her head came up at the sound of twigs snapping in the darkness. It better not be Zack, she thought with a flash of anger. If he had seen her heading this way and followed, she would give him a piece of her mind.

  "Who's there?" she demanded fiercely. "You come out right now. I don't like being spied on."

  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Sudie burst from the woods to throw herself against Jacie. "I didn't mean no harm. I just don't like you goin' away, and I know you are, 'cause I seen you sneak out with a bag. Please don't go, Miss Jacie. I love you so much." She was not about to tell her she had followed her to the study, then hid in the closet and watched as she wrote on a piece of paper.

  Jacie knelt to take her in her arms and explain, as best she could. "Yes, I am going away, but I'll be back in the spring. Now I want you to go home and go to bed, understand? And don't say a word to anyone."

  Sudie sniffed a few times. Jacie gave her a hug and she turned back, shoulders slumped with worry. Actually, she had been there long before Miss Jacie heard her. She had seen her take the blanket out of Miss Violet's trunk again, then pull open the binding and take out that locket Miss Violet had showed her the night she died. Then Miss Jacie had cried a little, put it back in the hem of the blanket, and stuck the blanket in her satchel.

  Sudie had no idea what was going on but knew she couldn't let Miss Jacie go off with nothing but that piece of jewelry that didn't look like it was worth much.

  She took off toward the Blake house as fast as her little legs would carry her.

  It was nearly an hour before Sudie returned to the cabin. She was glad to find that Miss Jacie had finally fallen asleep and that she had left the lantern burning on the table by the bed, because she would never have been able to find the satchel in the dark without making noise and waking her up.

  Working quietly and quickly, Sudie opened the bag and took out the blanket. She ran her fingers along the edge as she had seen Miss Jacie do and found the opening. Then she stuck the necklace she had taken from where Miss Jacie had left it on Master Blake's desk and stuffed it inside.

  Sudie was pleased with herself. She couldn't let Miss Jacie go off without the beautiful necklace. Now she had something to sell, if necessary, to get home on. Sudie didn't know why she had wanted to leave it anyway, but it didn't make any difference now. Miss Jacie wouldn't find it till she was too far away to bring it back.

  Reaching the big house, Sudie hurried upstairs and into Jacie's room and closed the door, a little harder than she should have in her haste to get to her pallet in the dressing alcove. Tomorrow morning, she told herself as her eyes closed sleepily, when everybody started asking questions about where Miss Jacie was, she would pretend not to know anything. And come spring, Miss Jacie would be back like she promised, and everything would be just fine.

  * * *

  Elyse awoke to the sound of Jacie's door closing. She sat up, then reached for her robe at the foot of the bed and padded across the floor. Opening her own door and peering out into the dark hall, she listened for any sound. All was quiet, but now she was wide awake, her curiosity piqued. She was positive it had been Jacie's door she heard, but what was she doing prowling around in the wee hours of the night? Maybe she was planning to see Michael off to Charleston.

  Elyse heard the clock downstairs chime four times. Michael would be up soon and stirring about, along with her mother and Cousin Olivia.

  Elyse knew she had to find out what Jacie was up to. She lit a small lantern and proceeded down the hall and down the stairs to the foyer. She did not hear anything but continued to look around. Then, seeing that the door to the study was open, she went inside.

  Holding the lantern high to light the room, her eyes went to the desk... where she saw the letter. Quickly she sat down to read it, tingling with excitement to realize she was about to discover why Jacie had been sneaking around.

  The corners of her mouth lifted in a smile, which spread into a grin across her whole face as she realized with a happy lurch of her heart that this was the chance she had been waiting for.

  Jacie was going away. No doubt she and Michael had been having more problems than anyone realized. But if she did come back in the spring, as she had written, Elyse was going to make certain Michael would not be waiting with open arms. Because by spring, she planned to be his wife.

  She hurried back upstairs to her room, anxious to think about all the details of what must be done to make her scheme work.

  And she took Jacie's letter with her.

  Chapter 9

  Mehlonga was waiting with a horse for her, a beautiful brown mare. There was no saddle, only a woven blanket on the mare's back, but Jacie did not mind; she was a good rider.

  "Are you sure of what you are doing?" he asked her. "You can still turn back."

  "I can't go back until I find out what—if anything—is waiting for me...out there," she answered, pointing west.

  * * *

  Michael had ordered breakfast to be ready, should anyone want it, even though he knew he would probably be the only one with an appetite at such an ungodly hour. He was surprised to find Elyse at the table. "What are you doing up? Didn't you say good-bye to your mother last night?"

  "Yes, but I didn't say good-bye to you." She hoped he did not notice her nervousness,
for she was barely able to contain her exhilaration at the knowledge that Jacie had left.

  He gave her a light peck on her cheek and sat down. "That's nice of you. Nicer, too, that you're willing to forego a trip home to stay with Jacie. I'm very worried about her, you know. If you could get her mind on something besides her grief, it would be wonderful. Perhaps the two of you can go riding. She loves to ride."

  "And jump," Elyse said with a soft laugh, wanting to remind him of the incident Cousin Olivia had told her about and how upset he had been.

  "There won't be any jumping. Besides, I fired Newton last night. He's leaving this morning. Now I don't have to worry about Jacie wheedling him into going behind my back to set up hurdles. I've also ordered the equipment destroyed."

  He talked on about how reckless Jacie could be, but Elyse was no longer listening, because another idea was forming in her head. So far, all she had done was destroy Jacie's letter so that when Michael discovered her missing he would have no idea as to why. Now she saw a way to make him go into a rage and never want her back.

  Before she could ponder further, Michael's words caught her attention. "Maybe I should talk to her again before I leave. Would you mind waking her and asking her to come downstairs?"

  Elyse was panic-stricken that she would have to report Jacie missing. If Michael found out, he would go after her and probably find her, because she could not have got very far. "I don't think that would be wise," she said finally.

  His brows lifted. "And why not?"

  Rapidly the lie tumbled out. "I heard her moving about till all hours. Obviously she couldn't sleep. She's probably exhausted, and we should let her rest."

  Disappointed, he had no choice but to agree, knowing it would not be gentlemanly to request her presence after such a bad night. "I just wish I didn't have to leave her now.”