Hearts Afire

by Marta Perry

  And if Jake decided that he was going back to Boston? She wouldn’t attempt to prevent him. She’d find some way to say goodbye with a smile, even though her heart would be breaking.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The conversation with his parents still lurked uneasily in the back of Jake’s mind the next day. Surprisingly, he no longer felt the anger with them that he’d battled for months. That was a good thing, even though he had no intention of taking up his father’s offer.

  Or did he? The delicate dance of the operating room still had its appeal, but he wasn’t sure whether he’d wanted it because it was his special gift or because it had been drummed into him from the time he could talk.

  That visit of his mother’s to Terry still seemed odd to him. His mother had skillfully evaded his questions on the subject, leaving him no wiser than before he’d talked to her. There was no link between the Beacon Hill house and Suffolk, or at least that’s what he’d thought when he’d come here.

  Ahead of him in the hospital corridor, he spotted Sam Getz’s portly figure turning into the doctors’ lounge. Links, connections—well, there was one, if you looked at it that way. Dr. Getz had known his father, years ago.

  Acting on impulse, he turned toward the lounge. Maybe Dr. Getz would say what his mother had not. Getz could, he supposed, have told his parents about Terry, although he couldn’t imagine a reason why he would. Surely, as far as Getz was concerned, his only relationship with Terry was that of supervisor at the clinic.

  And what is your relationship with Terry? The voice in the back of his mind pricked him. The truth was that he didn’t know the answer to that question. But whatever he felt for her, it was complicating the decisions he made about his future.

  Without Terry’s prodding, he might never have called his mother. And she’d been right—if he hadn’t made that effort, he’d have regretted it someday. Now, no matter what decision he ultimately made, he’d know he’d at least tried to mend the breach between them.

  He reached the lounge door and paused, hand on the knob. His father would probably say he was letting his emotions cloud his judgment again. Maybe so, but he wanted to know what had led his mother to Terry Flanagan.

  The door opened with a faint swish, and Dr. Getz glanced toward him from the counter where he stood, stirring his coffee. His round face broke into a smile.

  “Jake, I hoped I’d run into you today. There’s something I want to ask you.”

  “Of course, Dr. Getz.” He crossed the room, wondering if he could possibly stomach yet another cup of coffee today. Maybe not. At least Getz didn’t look as if he were the bearer of bad news. “What is it?”

  Getz leaned against the counter, mug held between his hands. “I was wondering about your father. I understand he’s been having some health problems.”

  Now how had he heard that? “Nothing serious, sir, but thank you for asking. How did you happen to hear about it?”

  The older man shrugged. “The medical grapevine is alive and well. And more active than ever, thanks to the Internet. I happened to be e-mailing back and forth with the person who’s trying to set up a med school class reunion. She mentioned it. Seems she’d heard that you were going into practice with him, since he’s not well.”

  And that was probably what the chief of staff really wanted to know. Are you going to leave us?

  “My father did make that suggestion,” he said carefully. He couldn’t lie to the man, but he didn’t want to burn any bridges in Suffolk. “I told him that I’m happy here. I don’t have any plans to change my career path at the moment.”

  “Well, good.” Getz beamed. “I don’t want to lose you, either. It can be hard to find someone who has the gifts we need and settles so easily into small town life.”

  “Suffolk’s a good place.” Just ask him. He’s not going to take offense. “Speaking of the grapevine, I wondered if you happened to say anything to my father about Terry Flanagan.”

  Getz’s gaze slid away from his, and he actually looked embarrassed. “I hope I didn’t speak out of turn. Truth to tell, I find your father a bit hard to talk to, and I was trying to make conversation. Was that a problem?”

  “Not at all. I just didn’t want my parents to get the wrong idea about our relationship.”

  “I don’t think I implied anything but friendship. I’m pleased that you’ve made friends with the Flanagan family. They’re good people.”

  “Yes, they are.” So Getz had probably mentioned Terry, his father had repeated it to his mother, and she’d added two and two and come up with sixteen, afraid he was getting involved with someone she’d consider inappropriate.

  “You know…” Getz began and then stopped. He shook his head. “I’ve been debating all day about whether to mention something to you. But I guess maybe you should know.”

  He tensed. Had Dixon been stirring up trouble?

  “Something about the clinic?”

  “No, no, nothing to do with that. Well, the fact is, there are rumors circulating around the hospital. Rumors about why you left Philadelphia.”

  For a moment he was speechless. That was the last thing he’d expected to hear. “I—what are they saying about me?”

  Getz flushed. “Talking about your relationship with the young woman who died. Now, you were perfectly honest with me when we hired you, and I know you weren’t to blame. But you know what hospital grapevines are like.”

  He knew only too well. His memories of just how bad it had been in Philadelphia were still strong in his mind. He’d hated the feeling that everyone was talking about him, feeling as if he were enmeshed in a sticky spiderweb of innuendo and half-truth, impossible to fight.

  “I thought I’d be free of that here.”

  Getz put a fatherly hand on his shoulder. “I understand, but you can’t let it get you down. I’ve tried to scotch any rumors I’ve heard, but that just means they’ll be careful not to talk in front of me. The best thing you can do is ignore it.”

  That was good advice, but probably impossible to take. Still, what could he do? He couldn’t go around telling his side of the story to half the hospital, the way he’d told it to Terry.

  Terry. Terry was the only person in Suffolk who knew about his past.

  Terry pushed Michael on the swing at the park, smiling when his face broke into a wide grin. “Okay, you need to pump now if you want to go higher. Do it the way Shawna does.” She nodded toward Michael’s big sister, who’d already pumped high enough to take Terry’s breath away.

  “It’s more fun when you push me,” Michael complained, but he struggled manfully to match his sister’s height.

  Terry took a few steps back, watching them. She’d been surprised when Mary Kate called and asked her to pick the kids up from school and keep them busy for an hour or so. Mary Kate didn’t often ask for help.

  Not only had she asked, she’d actually admitted, to her kid sister, of all people, that she was feeling low today and didn’t want Mom to know.

  Perhaps her talk with Mary Kate hadn’t been so futile after all. If her big sis could admit she needed help once in a while, maybe they could move to a more equal relationship.

  “Hey, Aunt Terry, look who’s coming!”

  If it was Mary Kate, coming to check up on her—But it wasn’t. Instead, she saw Jake coming across the grass toward them. Her heart gave that little jolt it always did when she saw him, but today it was muted by apprehension. Was he planning to tell her that he’d decided to accept his father’s offer?

  “Hi, Shawna. Michael. Are you trying to see how high you can go?”

  He actually remembered their names, even though he’d only met them once, as far as she knew. She sensed something distracted behind the smile he turned on the kids.

  “They’re trying to give their aunt a heart attack, that’s what they’re doing,” she said. She grabbed Michael’s swing. “Okay, you two. Go join the crowd on the sliding board for a while.”

  Michael frowned, but when Shawna
hopped nimbly off her swing and darted toward the sliding board, red curls bouncing, he followed her. She watched them run, reminded again of their loss. Michael had been especially close to his father, and his usual sunny disposition had undergone a change since Kenny’s death.

  “They’re cute kids.” Jake seemed to be watching them, too. “How is your sister doing?”

  “Not bad. She was feeling a bit down today, so she asked me to pick up the kids. She never wants them to see her cry.”

  “It must be tough.”

  He sounded sympathetic, but she sensed that his mind was elsewhere.

  They might as well get this over with, whatever it was. She swung to face him. The place where they stood, under the shade of an oak tree behind the swings, was as private a spot as any, despite the running children and the mothers with strollers over near the sandbox.

  “What is it, Jake? I can see that something’s wrong.”

  He didn’t bother to deny it. “I had a little chat with Dr. Getz this afternoon.”

  Apprehension made her fingers clench. “Was it Dixon? Did he complain about me?”

  “No. It wasn’t that.”

  He stopped, frowning, and she had the sense that he’d moved away from her. His guard was up in a way she hadn’t seen in weeks. The rapport she’d felt recently, even when they were arguing about something, had vanished. She was suddenly chilled, despite the warmth of the day.

  “What is it, then? Did Getz call you in about something else?” Just tell me, please.

  “He didn’t call me in. I saw him going in the lounge, and I caught up with him. I wanted to know if he was the one who told my parents about you.”

  It took a moment to adjust her thoughts, so much had happened since that odd interview with Jake’s mother at the firehouse.

  “What difference does it make how they found out about me? I told your mother that I wouldn’t attempt to influence you.”

  His mouth set. “I don’t like the idea that someone’s spying on me. Talking about you to them.”

  Why, Jake? Are you ashamed of our relationship? She didn’t need him to tell her that she wasn’t the kind of woman they wanted for their only son.

  “I wasn’t bothered by it.” That wasn’t quite true, but she didn’t know what else to say. She could hardly tell him that she didn’t appreciate his mother looking down on her.

  “I was. I don’t like the idea of my mother going to my friends behind my back.”

  “What did Dr. Getz say?”

  “He admitted that he probably mentioned you and your family to my father when he was here. I’m sure my mother filled in the rest of the blanks without any trouble.”

  She still didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. She tried to imagine her mother going to one of her friends in an attempt to manipulate her, but the image just made her smile.

  “That wasn’t the worst of it.” Jake’s voice hardened. “Dr. Getz told me something else. He said that rumors are making the rounds of the hospital.”

  He made it sound so dire.

  “If people are talking about our friendship—” she began.

  “Not that.” His tone dismissed their friendship as if it were of no importance. “Rumors about Meredith’s death. Rumors blaming me for it.”

  Her breath caught. It was so unexpected that she couldn’t speak for a moment. “Jake, I’m so sorry.” Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them back. “I don’t understand. How could that have happened? I thought no one here knew about that except Dr. Getz, and he certainly wouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No. He wouldn’t.”

  “But then how—”

  “One other person knew.” His face was very still. “You knew, Terry.”

  It was as if he’d struck her. “You can’t believe that I’d do that.”

  “I don’t want to believe it.”

  “Don’t you?” Anger came to her rescue, holding the pain at bay for the moment, at least. “You look as if you do.”

  “I don’t.” To do him credit, making the accusation did seem to cause him pain—pain that he held behind that stony mask he wore. “But I can’t argue with the facts. You were the only one who knew. Now everyone knows. What am I supposed to believe?”

  The anger seeped away too quickly, leaving only the hurt. “I don’t know, Jake. I think you might trust me as a friend, if nothing else.” Her mind winced away from the kisses they’d shared. “But I guess I’d be wrong, wouldn’t I?”

  She could only turn away, trying to keep him from seeing how much he’d hurt her. He stood for another moment, but he didn’t speak. And then he walked quickly away.

  “Here you go.” Terry forced a smile when Mary Kate opened the door. “Two kids, safe and sound.”

  Mary Kate hugged them, and only the very observant could detect the faint redness around her eyes. The dusting of flour on her jeans and the scent of baking said she must have worked through her sorrow. “Did you have fun with Aunt Terry?”

  “I went down the big slide,” Shawna announced. “And we saw Dr. Jake, too. He came to talk to Aunt Terry.”

  Mary Kate sent a questioning glance her way, seeming to register all the things Terry had no intention of saying to her. “Okay, you guys.” She gave the children a little shove toward the kitchen. “Milk and oatmeal cookies are on the table.”

  “Oatmeal cookies!” They shouted it in chorus and raced for the kitchen, immediately beginning an argument over whose cookies were bigger.

  “Good luck.” Terry turned. The only thing she wanted right now was to be alone and lick her wounds.

  Her sister grabbed her arm. “Not so fast. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She tried to pull free.

  Mary Kate just tightened her grasp. “Don’t kid me, Ter. I’ve had too much practice trying to hide my feelings not to know when you’re doing it. Besides, you helped me. Give me a chance to return the favor.”

  She let Mary Kate pull her inside. “There’s nothing you can do.” She grimaced. “Nothing I can do, either.”

  “Jake, I guess, from what the kids said.”

  She nodded, blinking away the tears that wanted to fill her eyes. “You know, I really thought we were getting someplace. I thought—” She stopped, shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t matter, because I was wrong.”

  Mary Kate put a comforting arm around her shoulder. “Are you sure? Judging by the way I’ve seen him look at you, he has feelings for you.”

  “Feelings, maybe. But not enough to trust me.” Bitterness left an acrid taste in her mouth. “He found out rumors are circulating around the hospital about him. About something that happened in Philadelphia that he thinks only I know. So of course he jumped to the conclusion that I gossiped about him.”

  “Well, that’s just plain stupid. Anyone who knows you knows you can be trusted.”

  Mary Kate’s anger was heartening.

  “I guess he doesn’t know me, then.” She shook her head. “Thanks for listening, M.K., but there’s nothing anybody can do about it. I just thought—” The tears welled again, silencing her.

  “You love him.”

  She nodded. “Dumb, huh?”

  “He’s the one who’s dumb.” Mary Kate’s tone grew brisk, so that she almost sounded like Mom. “But don’t you tell me you can’t do anything. You’ve never admitted in your life that there was a problem you can’t do anything about.”

  “This is different.”

  Her sister gave her a little shake. “Come on, you know better than that. You wouldn’t put up with anyone else being unjustly accused. Why would you take it for yourself?”

  She blinked at Mary Kate’s vehemence. “You know what? You’re right.” She gave her sister a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m going to the hospital right now, and I’m not leaving until I know who started this stupid rumor.”

  “Good for you.” Mary Kate smiled. “Now that’s our Terry talking.”

  Propelled by a wave of righteous indignation, she
started for the car. She’d find out whose fault this was, and she’d give that person a piece of her mind.

  It was nearly two hours later when she trudged down the hallway toward the E.R. She’d been over half the hospital, it seemed, questioning people, tracing the garbled story from one person to another, trying to do damage control as she went.

  But it was no good. Once started, a rumor was like a stubborn weed that sent up new sprouts each time you cut one down. She couldn’t reveal the things Jake had confided in her, and there was just enough of a seed of truth to make it impossible to fight without revealing everything.

  She’d done what she set out to do. She’d tracked the story down to its source, but knowing wasn’t giving her any pleasure.

  Harriet was on duty in the E.R. She stood in the hallway, conferring with a nurse, but when she saw Terry she handed over the chart she held and started toward her.

  “Hi. I didn’t expect to see you back here today. I thought you were off duty.”

  “I am. How about a cup of coffee?” She tried to manage a smile, but it was no good. She couldn’t, not knowing what she did.

  Harriet blinked at her tone, and then she led the way into the break room—empty, thank goodness. The door swung shut behind them.

  “What’s wrong?” Harriet frowned at her. “I can see there’s something. Is it the clinic?”

  “No.” Her throat went tight. What if she were wrong—but she wasn’t. “Why did you do it, Harriet? Why did you tell people about Jake and what happened in Philadelphia?”

  For a moment Harriet just stared at her, and she knew their friendship was on the line. If Harriet denied it…

  Finally Harriet shook her head, her gaze sliding away. Her shoulders slumped under the white lab coat. “How did you find out it was me?”

  It took an effort to swallow. “I just kept asking people. Every trail led back to you. Why? And how did you even know about it?”