Clara at Christmas (Clara Andrews Series - Book 4)

by Lacey London

  Following the sound of laughter that is drifting out of the kitchen, I check my watch and I’m surprised to see that it is nearly 7.30pm. Lianna will be here shortly. With her joining us for dinner tomorrow, it made sense for her to come and stay tonight. After all, no one wants to wake up alone on Christmas Day, do they? The delicious smell of popcorn floods my nostrils as I prop myself up at the kitchen table. Bless Oliver. He really has gone all out with his cinema theme. Bowls of popcorn line the worktop, sweet, salted, buttered... you name it, Oliver has bought it. Taking a handful of salted, I munch away as the rest of the group chatters merrily.

  It’s hard to believe that the seven of us will be sat around this very table in less than twenty four little hours. The presents have been purchased, the turkey has been prepared (sort of) and the wine is already flowing freely. Christmas has most definitely arrived. Watching Oliver and his dad playing with his new cinema system, I can’t help but smile. Boys and their toys. As I am wondering what exactly is so special about a dual unit sub woofer when the intercom buzzes loudly.

  ‘I’ll get it.’ I yell above the chatter, already knowing that no one is listening. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Clara?’ Lianna’s voice blasts out of the speaker. ‘Can you hear the carollers? You all need to come down here. It’s pretty incredible...’

  * * *

  ‘Jesus Christ! It’s freezing out here!’ Janie grumbles, rubbing her hands together for warmth. ‘This better be good or you won’t be getting anything tomorrow young lady!’

  Stifling a laugh, I zip up my coat as we ride down in the lift. Getting everyone to put down their drinks and head out into the cold night was not easy, but if what I could hear over the intercom is anything to go by, they are going to be glad that they did. The lift doors spring open and we pile out into the lobby as the faint sound of singing seeps into the building. Pushing open the door to the street, I am shocked to see how heavy it is snowing. Thick flakes fall from the sky, covering the entire scene in a soft white blanket. I link arms with Oliver and follow the noise around the corner where I find Lianna.

  Wow! She was right, this is incredible. Twenty to thirty carollers are huddled around a street light, each one clutching a tea light in a lantern. Wearing Santa hats and Christmas jumpers they really do look magical against the black backdrop of the sky and their voices are almost haunting. A crowd has begun to gather around them as they sing, with passers-by stopping to throw coins into their charity collection. The music gets louder as more people start to join in.

  Silent night... Holy night

  All is calm... All is bright

  Looking around at my family and best friend, I am touched to see that each one of them is singing along. Despite my best efforts, tears prick at the corners of my eyes. This is what Christmas is about. This right here. It’s about love and family. I suddenly realise that it doesn’t matter what is waiting for us under the tree, what’s really important is who is stood around it...

  It’s Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air...

  December 25th

  Not again. Today of all days. For the third time this week, I throw back the covers and make a dash for the bathroom. Positioning myself over the toilet, I make a poor attempt at holding my hair out of my face. This is getting ridiculous. There is absolutely no reason for me to be doing this now. I have made my peace with the possibility of Marc leaving, I haven’t had more than a mere sip of alcohol and I’m pretty darn sure that you can’t get food poisoning from a handful of salted popcorn. Flushing the toilet, I splash cold water onto my face and turn around to grab a towel when I spot Lianna standing in the doorway.

  ‘Merry Christmas!’ She whispers, her huge smile disappearing as she takes in my drawn appearance. ‘You look terrible. Are you OK?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ I try to sound positive, but even speaking fills me with an over powering nausea.

  ‘Have you been sick?’ Slipping into the bathroom, she closes the door silently behind her. ‘You have, haven’t you?’

  ‘Just a bit, but I’m fine now. ’ I try to get past her, but she puts her hand on the door handle. ‘Honestly, Li. I’m fine.’

  ‘I didn’t notice you drinking much last night.’

  ‘That’s because I didn’t. I only had a tiny glass.’

  ‘Then why are you throwing up? You aren’t ill are you?’ Lianna squints her eyes at me suspiciously and folds her arms. ‘What is it? Salmonella? Malaria? Gout?’

  ‘No! No! And no! Seriously, I am OK.’ I attempt a laugh which comes out more of a cry. ‘Let’s go back to bed before we wake the entire apartment block up. It’s not even light outside yet.’

  Moving her out of the way, I put the towel into the laundry basket and open the door, but Lianna doesn’t follow. ‘Aren’t you going back to bed?’

  ‘You’re not... pregnant, are you?’ Her eyes sparkle at the p word.

  ‘No!’ Panicking that someone might hear her, I quickly close the door and flip the lock. ‘Do you mind keeping your voice down? Anyone could hear you!’

  ‘Are you sure?’ She presses, her voice still far too loud.

  ‘Yes!’ I yell, feeling sicker than ever.

  ‘There’s not even a tiny possibility? Because it just takes one time...’

  ‘Lianna! I am fully aware of how babies are made, thank you very much.’ A little flustered at her outrageous accusation, I take a seat on the edge of the bath and try to calm down.

  ‘Have you taken a test?’

  ‘No!’ I squeal.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I don’t need to!’ This is getting farcical.

  ‘It wouldn’t hurt to rule it out. When is your period due?’ Li crosses her legs and puts on her serious face.

  ‘Any day now and being sick a few times doesn’t mean pregnancy. Talk about putting two and two together and coming up with a million.’ I laugh nervously, but my mental menstrual calendar tells me that my monthly visit from Mother Nature should have arrived by now.

  ‘Wait a minute. A few times? You have been sick more than once?’ Lianna jumps to her feet and grabs my arm. ‘That’s it, you’re taking a test.’

  * * *

  ‘This is absolutely insane.’ I grumble under my breath.

  If you would have told me yesterday that I would be walking to the newsagents at 7.30am on Christmas morning to get a pregnancy test, I never would have believed it. Weirdly, the snowy weather that we have become so accustomed to this December seems to have vanished and for the first time in a long time I can actually see blue skies over head.

  Linking her arm through mine, Lianna waves the test in my face. ‘What if it’s positive?’

  ‘It won’t be.’

  ‘It might be...’

  I let out a tired sigh and shake my head in response. ‘I just can’t believe that Alan was even open today.’

  ‘Alan doesn’t celebrate Christmas. He converted to Buddhism last summer, remember?’

  ‘Oh yeah...’ I reply, although I don’t have a clue what she is talking about. ‘We should hurry up. I don’t want Oliver to wake up and notice that we are missing.’

  Increasing our pace to a light jog, we reach the apartment in no time and ride up to my floor in silence, both of us staring at the pregnancy test in my hand. Thankfully, the apartment is still in perfect silence, just as we left it. Safe in the knowledge that everyone is still in the land of nod, we slip into the bathroom and lock the door behind us. Ripping the packaging open, I tear the lid of the stick and try to think of crashing waves and heavy rainfall. The last time I took one these things it took me forever to generate a few drops of pee.

  ‘Aren’t you going to read the instructions?’ Li asks, retrieving the wrapper from the bin.

  ‘I’m pretty sure that there’s only one way to do this.’ Rolling my eyes, I take the plunge and pee on the stick.

  Replacing the cap, I place it on the windowsill and proceed to wash my hands. Even though I know that the result will be n
egative, I still have a rather uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Adrenaline? Fear, maybe? I fiddle with the band of my wedding ring as Lianna studies her watch closely. Come on! Shouldn’t it be done by now? I pace back and forth in the bathroom for what seems like an eternity before snatching the test from the windowsill.

  ‘Wait!’ Lianna yells. ‘It’s not ready for another thirty seconds!’

  Ignoring her cries, I turn over the stick and stare in the little window.

  ‘It’s negative.’

  ‘It is?’ She pops her head over my shoulder and takes a look for herself. ‘Oh...’

  As we stare at the stick intently, I blink in amazement as the single blue line multiplies before my eyes. ‘What’s happening? Is that... does that mean?’

  ‘OMG! I told you that it wasn’t ready yet!’ Grabbing the instructions, Li compares the results to the paper and nods to confirm my suspicions. ‘I knew it! I knew it.’

  My stomach churns violently and I have an awful feeling that I am going to projectile vomit again. I’m pregnant. The words echo around my mind like thunder. Pregnant! Me! I look up at Lianna who is beaming down at me widely.

  ‘I think I am going to be sick.’ I announce, pushing her out of the way. ‘I am. I’m going to be sick.’

  ‘Clara?’ Oliver’s tired voice pierces my thought bubble and makes me freeze to the spot. ‘Where are you?’

  I lock eyes with Lianna who shoves the test into the bathroom cabinet and kicks it closed.

  ‘I’m just using the bathroom!’ I squawk, feeling panic start to take over my body. ‘One minute!’

  I run my hands through my hair and try to compose myself. ‘What am I going to do?’

  ‘Go.’ Lianna laughs. ‘Go and tell him!’

  Nodding in response it takes me a few moments to regain the use of my feet, which understandably appear to have turned into stone. I really don’t believe this is happening. I feel like I have slipped into a parallel universe. Sensing my fear, Lianna reaches over and wraps her arms around my neck.

  ‘Everything will be OK, Clara. I promise.’

  ‘Pinky promise?’

  I hold out my finger and she links it with mine.

  ‘Pinky promise.’

  * * *

  I’m pregnant. I have reiterated those two little words to myself all morning and yet somehow it still doesn’t seem any more real. Aren’t expectant mothers meant to be glowing and beaming with joy? So far the only feelings that I have are fear, trepidation and sheer terror. The very moment that I climbed back into bed with Oliver this morning I promised myself that I would tell him, but for the life of me I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. Why? I have no idea. Then I was going to tell him whilst exchanging our presents, but the phone rang and then the moment passed. I am pregnant. I mean, how hard can it be?

  Now I am chopping potatoes in the kitchen and yet unbelievably I still haven’t told him. With all the excitement of Christmas Day, I haven’t managed to get Lianna alone since I left her in the bathroom this morning. However, she has been staring at me gooey eyed all morning and I am starting to worry that she is going to let the cat out of the bag.

  Listening to the chatter in the room, I look down at my stomach and try to imagine the little bean that is growing inside me. I still don’t believe it. For around an hour this morning, I actually convinced myself that perhaps we had misread the test. I even sneaked off to the bathroom to look at the stick again, but there it was, the same double blue line that I saw this morning.

  Isn’t it strange how sometimes life throws something at you that puts everything else into perspective? After all my worrying about hosting the perfect Christmas Day, now it couldn’t be further down my list of priorities. What does it matter what we eat, where we sit or what wine we serve? The only thing I can think of right now is that there is an actual baby in my belly. A baby that will eventually become a child. A child just like Madison or MJ. For what seems like the millionth time that day, I get the overwhelming urge to hurl.

  Abandoning my potatoes, I leave the rest of the gang to do the cooking and slip out onto the balcony. Just like this morning, the sun is peeping through the clouds, melting the remnants of the snow on the ground. Breathing in the cold air, I fiddle with the sleeves of my reindeer jumper anxiously. I’m just going to have to spit it out, like ripping off a plaster, quick and painless. He is my bloody husband for crying out loud. It’s not like he is a one night stand that I regret sorely.

  ‘There you are.’ As if reading my mind, Oliver appears behind me. ‘Dinner is almost ready. Mom burned the parsnips, but apart from that we are good to go. See, I told you that we could pull this off.’

  I offer him a queasy smile and take a deep breath. Tell him now! Tell him now! The words scream in my mind’s eye, so loud that I’m actually surprised that he can’t hear them too.

  ‘Is everything OK?’ He asks, slipping an arm around my waist. ‘Is it the gift? Don’t you like it?’

  ‘No!’ I glance down at my stunning new necklace and twist it around my fingers nervously. ‘I love it.’

  The only thing I don’t like about the pretty platinum chain is that is makes my measly gift set look even more pathetic. My heart pounds fast as I look up into Oliver’s big blue peepers. I have to tell him. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Lianna hovering around in the living room. She flashes me the thumbs up sign before disappearing out of sight.

  I feel a rush of butterflies in my stomach as I gear myself to spit out what I have been trying to say all morning. When you think about it, what is more perfect to give your husband on this special day than the gift of life? Yes, it might be unexpected, but it most definitely not unwanted. Oliver is going to be a dad! I am going to be a mum! Without warning a dawning realisation sweeps over me. We are going to be... parents! Adrenaline soars through my body and I suddenly want to shout it from the roof tops.

  ‘Follow me.’ Taking him by the hand, I lead him through the apartment and into the bathroom.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Looking rather puzzled, he allows me to drag him across the living room.

  My entire body tingles as I lock the door and tell him to take a seat.

  ‘OK...’ He exhales slowly, an unreadable expression on his face. ‘You’re freaking me out now... what is it? If it’s the necklace, just say and I’ll return it first thing tomorrow. No biggie.’

  ‘Oliver, for the last time, it is not the necklace.’ My mouth goes inexplicably dry as I sit down next to him on the edge of the bath.

  The sound of Wham! - Last Christmas drifts under the door and I know that if I don’t tell him now then the moment will be lost once again.

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  The words that escape my lips are barely above a whisper and judging by the expression on his face, I don’t think that he has heard me.

  ‘I’m... pregnant.’ I repeat, a little louder.

  He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Not knowing what else to do, I run to the bathroom cabinet and grab the pregnancy test from earlier.

  ‘We’re going to have a baby.’ I place the stick into his hands and hold my breath. ‘Well, say something... please.’

  ‘Pregnant?’ A slow smile creeps onto his face as he looks up at me. ‘As in pregnant... pregnant?’

  I nod in response as a single tear slips down my cheek. His eyes glaze over as he pulls me over to him and wraps his arms around my shoulders. For a while neither of us say anything, we just hold each other closely, a strange excitement buzzing between us as we stare at the stick.

  Planting a soft kiss on my nose, he holds me tightly against his chest. ‘Clara... this... this is the best gift anyone has ever given to me.’

  Untangling myself from his arms, I look deep into his eyes and get a glimpse of things to come. Ultra sound appointments, labour, sleepless nights, baby steps, those incredible first words. All of those things used to terrify me, but it’s like someone has turned on a light. A light that says I was made fo
r this, this is what I was put on this planet to do. Our wedding bands glisten under the bright bathroom lights and I suddenly have all the confidence I need to know that we are ready for this.

  A light knocking on the bathroom door momentarily brings us out of our beautiful baby bubble.

  ‘Dinner’s on the table.’ Lianna trills, rapping her knuckles on the door. ‘Are you guys ready?’

  I lock eyes with Oliver, my heart pounding as we answer simultaneously.

  ‘We are...’

  Christmas waves a magic wand over the world and suddenly everything is more beautiful...

  THE END

  Have you read the other books in the Clara Andrews series?

  Meet Clara Andrews

  With a love of cocktails and wine, a fantastic job in the fashion industry and the world’s greatest best friends, Clara Andrews thought she had it all.

  That is until a chance meeting introduces her to Oliver, a devastatingly handsome American designer. Trying to keep the focus on her work, Clara finds her heart stolen by Michelin starred restaurants and luxury hotels.

  As things get flirty, Clara reminds herself that inter-office relationships are against the rules, so when a sudden recollection of a work’s night out leads her to a cheeky, charming and downright gorgeous barman, she decides to see where it goes.

  Clara soon finds out that dating two men isn't as easy as it seems...

  Will she be able to play the field without getting played herself?