Here and Now (Forever and Always #13)

by E. L. Todd

  She finally turned off the shower and stepped out, drying herself and her hair. We both had work in an hour so she got ready as quickly as she could, drying her hair and putting make up on. I didn’t give a shit about work. But I was the man who ran the show.

  Cassandra hurriedly grabbed her purse and her heels while she headed to the door. I dressed myself then followed her, suddenly feeling cold. Something wasn’t right. She hadn’t looked at me once.

  “Cassandra, what’s wrong?”

  She still didn’t look at me. “I just don’t want to make this more difficult than it needs to be.”

  What? “What does that mean?”

  She opened the door and stepped out. I stayed in the apartment. “I said goodbye to you once. I don’t want to do it again.”

  What? “What the fuck are you saying?” I didn’t mean to explode, but the betrayal was evident. “Last night didn’t mean anything to you? I thought we were back together?”

  “Of course it meant something to me.” She looked at me, tears in her eyes. “When I saw you, I just…broke down. I miss you so much and I couldn’t walk out there. And I was a little drunk…”

  That couldn’t be happening. “How could you do that to me? Do you have any idea how miserable I’ve been for the past two months? I can barely get out of bed, and then you break me all over again. Now I have to start all over. How am I supposed to get over you if you make love to me then fucking tell me you love me?” Shit, I was pissed.

  The tears fell. “I just…had a moment of weakness. I miss you so much and every day is unbearable. I knew I should have walked out of that bar but I couldn’t after I saw your eyes. You’re like a magnet to me. I just…couldn’t turn away.”

  “If life is really that unbearable, why don’t you just marry me?” My eyes were wide with anger. All the calm serenity I had was gone. Now I was just livid.

  “You know I can’t do that…”

  I marched out the door then gripped my skull. “I can’t believe you did this to me. You made me think everything was okay and we were getting back together, and then you just break my heart all over again. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  She started to sob. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Fuck you, Cassandra.”

  She covered her face for a moment. “I just missed you… I wanted to be with you again.”

  “You’re selfish. All you care about is your needs, not mine. If you did, we wouldn’t be broken up. And if you weren’t a bitch, you wouldn’t have came to me last night.” I paced the hallway then gave her a look of menace. “You know what? You’ve given me that freedom I need. I’ve been waiting around for you to come back in my life, but now you made me realize I was waiting for nothing. You don’t love me and you never did.”

  “Yes, I do!” She dropped her hand, letting me see her red face. “You know I love you more than anything.”

  “Shut the fuck up. You wouldn’t have fucked me over like that if you did. I’m done with this, Cassandra. I’m done waiting for you to come back to me. I don’t even want you anymore. Love doesn’t exist. Because if it did, you wouldn’t have brought me back to your apartment last night. If any part of you actually cared about me, you would have walked away without looking back. But you don’t. All you care about is yourself. So thanks for ripping out my heart and stomping on it. I’m done with you.” I walked down the hallway without looking back.

  “Mike! It’s not like that!” She yelled at me but I kept going.

  Everything changed in that moment. Cassandra didn’t exist anymore. It was just me.

  11

  Scarlet

  When I ate lunch with Mike, he was totally different. His mood was lighter and he actually smiled. He scarfed down his food like he hadn’t eaten in days then made a joke. It was weird.

  “You and my brother work it out?” he asked. “Or is he still throwing a hissy fit?”

  “No, we talked it out.” I ate my yogurt and watched him carefully.

  “Cool. I didn’t want to hear my brother bitch about it all week.” He clicked his mouse and looked at his computer. “I think Atlantic City would be so much fun for the bachelor party. But Vegas is always better. It’s actually cheaper too.”

  “I think Ryan just wants to go fishing.”

  “That’s what he thinks,” he said with a smile. “We’re gonna get drunk off our asses and not remember it the next day. It’s not going to be like that pussy bachelor party my brother had.”

  His mood was better, and the light was in his eyes again. “Mike?”

  “Hmm?”

  “You seem…different.”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know what you mean.”

  “You seem happy.”

  “Because I am.” He said it in an indifferent tone.

  “Did something happen…?”

  “Nope. I’m just over her. It finally happened.”

  What? “How is that possible?”

  “Love dies, Scarlet. And life goes on.”

  Is this the same Mike I knew? “Love dies? I thought she was the one?”

  “Well, I was wrong. Now I’m moving on.”

  This wasn’t adding up. “Are you not telling me something?”

  “Nope.”

  Was he really over her? It just seemed so sudden. He was depressed for such a long time then he changed overnight.

  The phone on his desk rang and he answered it. “Hey, Tim. What’s going on?” he said with a smile. “Dude, I heard about your golf game last week. Word is, you totally killed it.” He listened then laughed loudly. “I’m totally there. But I have to warn you, I’m a damn good golfer.”

  I stared at him, dumbstruck.

  He covered the receiver then looked at me. “This is going to be a while.”

  “Oh okay.” I grabbed my purse and headed to the door.

  “And Scar?”

  “What?” I turned around.

  He winked. “Your ass looks great in that dress. Make sure you tell Sean so it pisses him off.”

  Did I just go back in time?

  “And you don’t need to eat lunch with me anymore. I’m good.” He directed his conversation into the phone and ignored me.

  I understood the dismissal then left his office, feeling dazed and confused. I stood there for a moment, trying to understand what was happening. Sean came down the hallway, looking handsome in his new Hugo Boss suit. I picked it out.

  “How was lunch?” He hooked his arm around my waist and gave me a kiss on the neck. He was always affectionate with me at work, like we were at home. The staff had gotten used to it. I still objected to it because it was inappropriate but Sean didn’t care.

  “It was…weird.”

  “Mike touch himself or something?”

  “The fact that’s a serious question is just sad.”

  He smirked. “Well…did he?”

  “No.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Then what do you mean?”

  “Let’s go in your office.” I eyed his secretary and the people walking by.

  He winked. “You got it, baby.”

  Sean always got the wrong idea. Anything that could be construed as an invitation to sex was always Sean’s assumption. We walked into the office then shut the door. Sean’s hand was up my skirt quicker than I could process.

  I slapped his hand away. “Not now.”

  “Not now?” He cornered me into his desk. “When I want sex from my wife, I get it.”

  I glared at him, threatening him with my eyes alone.

  He sighed. “So you can get laid whenever you want, and when I want a little something-something, I get shut down?”

  “Well, you always want sex. And I’m actually going through something right now.”

  Sean rolled his eyes then sat behind his desk. He patted his thigh, telling me to sit down.

  “How dumb do you think I am?”

  He smirked. “Sometimes, I wish you were stupid.”

  I sat in the ch
air on the opposite side of his desk.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “Mike is…happy.”

  He nodded. “I noticed that too.”

  “Wasn’t he just depressed a few days ago?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe something happened.”

  “I asked him, but he said nothing significant had happened.”

  “Well, it has been two months,” Sean said. “He had to get over her eventually.”

  “But…it was so sudden. He had absolutely no progress and then bam, he’s over her.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” He rubbed his chin. “The heart works in mysterious ways.”

  “But…it’s like he reverted to the past. He’s like…the old Mike.”

  “I didn’t notice that.”

  “Has he slept with anyone?” I asked.

  “Not that I know of.”

  “Did you ask?”

  “You’re the one that spent an hour with him for lunch,” he snapped. “Why didn’t you ask him?”

  “He’s your brother,” I argued.

  “So? You’re still closer to him than I am.”

  I studied his face. “Does that bother you?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because what does it matter?” he said. “He’ll always be closer to you. I can’t force it.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t know it bothered him so much.

  “My dad is signing the papers today. I think we should go.”

  “Wow…this is really happening.”

  Sean nodded.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He shrugged. “I want the best for my parents. My father has never made a bad decision in his life. If he knows he’s making the right choice, then he must be.”

  “You’re right.”

  We sat in silence for a while.

  “It’s so weird how everything is changing,” I said quietly. “Your parents are getting divorced and Mike is…over Cassandra. Monnique is a model now and Janice is working as a chief editor.”

  “Things change,” he said non-committedly.

  “I’m just glad we haven’t.”

  His eyes softened. “We never will, baby.”

  After work, we showered and got ready to leave the house. Andrew was quiet, but he didn’t seem upset or moody. He was just…indifferent. He wore a suit and combed his hair back. Sean wore the same Hugo Boss suit, and I wore a dress.

  “Is Mike coming?” Andrew asked.

  “I told him the time,” I said.

  Andrew looked at his watch. “If he’s not here in thirty seconds, we’re going to be late.”

  Sean and I shared a look.

  “I’ll call him,” I said. I stepped away and pulled out my phone.

  When he answered, there was a loud noise in the background. People were talking and laughing. Glasses clanked against each other, and the bass of music thudded over the phone. “Yo.”

  Yo? “Your parents are signing the divorce papers in half an hour. Where the hell are you?”

  “I’m out with the guys,” he shouted over the phone.

  “Well, get your ass over here. We’re going to be late.”

  “What does he even need me for? He can sign a damn paper by himself.”

  “Why are you acting like this?”

  “Scar, I gotta go.”

  “Don’t you dare hang up on—”

  Click.

  I returned the phone to my side, unable to believe he actually cut me off. There was something bad going on.

  “Is he coming?” Andrew asked.

  What the hell do I say? “Um…”

  Sean eyed me. “He isn’t, is he?”

  I held the phone in both my hands. “It doesn’t look like it.”

  Andrew kept a straight face. “Why?”

  “He didn’t say.” I hated seeing the disappointment on my father-in-law’s face. He’d always been there for his two sons, and now they weren’t doing the same for him. This was a hard day for the entire family.

  “Where is he?”

  “I…I don’t know. It sounded like he might be in a bar.”

  Andrew pulled out his smart phone then pressed a few buttons. “He’s at Gnarley.”

  Sean raised an eyebrow. “How did you know that?”

  “Technology is my forte. Let’s go get him.”

  “But we won’t make it in time,” Sean argued.

  “I’m not doing this without my oldest son. Now let’s go.”

  I didn’t argue with Andrew. He seemed determined. “Okay.”

  We got into my BMW but Andrew got behind the wheel. Sean put me in the passenger seat then checked my seat belt. Then he moved to the back.

  Andrew hauled ass back toward the city. Sean and I kept our silence while he sped like a man with road rage. He always kept his cool, but I could tell his patience was waning.

  We arrived in the city then slowed down considerably due to traffic. When we reached the bar, we walked inside, Andrew in the lead. Mike was sitting with two friends at a booth, drinking glasses of scotch while three girls surrounded them, their bodies barely covered in skimpy clothing. Mike was laughing while chatting with the girl beside him. I felt like I was looking back in time.

  Andrew marched to the table then stopped, giving Mike a hard look.

  Mike stopped in midsentence. “Dad, what are you doing here?”

  “Get up. Now.”

  His words gave me goosebumps.

  Mike was still for a moment. “Is everything—”

  “Michael, get your ass up now.”

  Mike flinched then did as he was told. Andrew gave him a look so full of disappointment that I cringed inside. I never wanted to be the recipient of that look. It went straight to my heart.

  “Outside,” he commanded him.

  Mike trailed behind slightly, like a kid that was about to be spanked.

  We reached the sidewalk, and Sean and I stood a short distance away, not speaking.

  Andrew stared at his son. “What’s going on?”

  Mike didn’t say anything for a long time. “I just wanted to hang with the guys.”

  “Your mother and I are signing those papers. We need to be together—as a family. The fact you think your friends are more important is a slap in the face.”

  He didn’t curse but his words were still harsh. I felt bad for Mike.

  “You’re my son. You belong with us. I’ve given you everything, Michael. The least you can do is be there for me during the hardest day of my life. Your abandonment and indifferent is unacceptable. I understand you’re going through a hard time, but life does on, Mike. Be a man and be there for your father, the man who raised you.”

  Mike looked at the ground, bowing his head.

  “Look at me when I talk to you.”

  Mike sighed then met his look, the shame deep within.

  “Now, let’s go.”

  Mike didn’t move.

  Andrew stared at him. “Did you hear me?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re getting divorced because of me…”

  Those words caught me by surprise.

  Andrew furrowed his eyebrows. “Son, that’s not true.”

  “Yes, it is.” His voice came out broken, full of emotion. “If I hadn’t brought Cassandra over there, Mom wouldn’t have disapproved her, which she was dead on about, and you wouldn’t have fought. You wouldn’t have left her. You would still be together…”

  Andrew’s eyes softened. “Mike, that’s not true at all. Your mother and I have been having problems for a long time. It had nothing to do with you.”

  His eyes watered but the tears didn’t fall.

  Andrew grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, Mike.”

  “I used to look up to you two, wanting to have a marriage like you. But…now you’re falling apart. I doubt Mom ever loved you, and you never give up on anything. But now you’re walki
ng away. Nothing ever lasts. Things change. All we do is suffer.”

  This was a side to Mike I’ve never seen before. He could only be this vulnerable with his father. He wouldn’t even be this open with me and Sean.

  Andrew placed his hand on the back of Mike’s neck, forcing him to look at him. “I’m sorry about what happened to you and Cassandra. But not all relationships end badly. People love each other and stay together forever. Just because your mother and I are ending our marriage doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. And it doesn’t mean we aren’t a family anymore. Cassandra was your first girlfriend. In case you haven’t noticed, no one gets it right on the first try. Look at your brother and Scarlet. That marriage took ten years to happen.”

  Mike looked at the street, unable to meet his father’s gaze.

  “I know you’re hurting right now, but don’t blame yourself for what happened. And don’t lose your hope in love. Believe me, it exists. And it’s beautiful.”

  “I wouldn’t know…”

  “Son, she loved you. I know she did. I saw it with my own two eyes.”

  “Well, you’re blind,” he said bitterly.

  “Don’t let this tear you apart, Mike.”

  “You don’t understand…”

  ‘Then help me understand.”

  Mike took a deep breath then batted his tears away. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I’m here now.” He shut his father out, hiding his emotions from all of us. Whatever he was thinking or feeling was gone. The light in his eyes went out. “Let’s go.”

  Andrew stared at him for a long time. “I’m always here to talk, Mike. Don’t shut me out.”

  “I wasted my time with Cassandra. She was nothing but a mistake. Relationships aren’t meant to last. You and Mom are examples of that. Sean and Scarlet will burn just as much. And I accept that.”

  His dad shook his head slightly. “I hope in time you see things differently.”

  “I see things clearly now.” He headed to the door then opened the back door. He got inside.

  We all stood there, stunned. Andrew put his hands on his hips and stared at the car, his thoughts whirling through his mind.