At least Daryl Grayson was lying low. Nathan had heard that Keith had told his father if he didn’t cease, he would quit football for good, would not consider playing his senior year.
Now the weather had turned on them. They were going to have to play in the rain. That meant half empty stands, which wouldn’t help anything.
But Townshend would be there. That was something. If they could just get this week behind them, get some distance from the hell that had been their lives the last bit, they could start to rebuild. She wanted to. He could tell. She looked at him with a hunger in her eyes, the same hunger he felt every minute of every day. He just needed the time to make it happen.
It was surreal to think that Halloween had been less than a week ago. How could something so good go so bad in such a short time?
People kept bringing him newspapers and magazines with that damned picture on the cover, kept telling him about websites. He had not read one single word of it. And what the hell, anyway? Who cared? But reporters kept calling, wanting to talk. Didn’t they know he had a team to run, classes to teach, and a girl to get back? Answering his phone without checking the caller ID was a thing of the past.
And then there was that totally unexpected, stomach turning, heart stopping voice mail. How had Arianna gotten his number anyway? Apparently has-been supermodels had their ways. No matter. He’d blocked her number.
He’d stopped answering for ESPN too, though he had told Skip Lowery to call Audrey Evans. She’d done him a good turn and if he could help her get a shot at the job she wanted, that might balance the scale a little.
Make them even. Ha. Even. Townshend talked about being even. What did that mean? It didn’t mean anything. They didn’t need to be even. They needed to be together.
And he needed to win this ballgame.
• • •
He did not win the ballgame. What a finish. 21-13. Now, he faced a locker room full of muddy, disappointed, beat-up boys.
“We’ve had a bad week, a hard week,” he said to them. “We lost tonight. We lost together as one, as we always won together, as one. That’s who we are. I know something that you didn’t want me know. And no one told me, so don’t start blaming your brothers for telling secrets. I am your coach. I’ve got eyes and ears in the back of my head, so there’s not much that goes on with you that I don’t know about. I know you wanted to win this game for me tonight, to show your support. I know you wanted to bring me a victory ball that you had all signed. You don’t feel like you can give me that ball now, because you failed. Let me tell you something. I want that ball with your names on it. You did not fail. Oh, we lost this game. I won’t paint that any way except how it was. And, as usual, next week we’ll talk about where we went wrong. But in the here and the now, in the big picture, you are winners. This game does not define this season and it does not define you. You have shown yourselves to be men of character.”
And with no prompting, they all stood and shouted in unison, “We are one!”
• • •
Tolly stood outside the field house, waiting for Kirby. The rain had finally stopped but it was still wet and miserable. The crowd was slim, but she waited, as did most of the other parents, a lot of girlfriends, and some wannabe girlfriends. She’d been told that the last game was always emotional for the team, but most especially for seniors, and most especially for the seniors who knew they had no chance at college ball.
That wasn’t Kirby. So far he had offers from Mississippi State, Clemson, South Carolina, and five smaller schools that were not in the running. Nathan was handling all that. She was not going to be able to get completely away from him until Kirby graduated. That was becoming clearer and clearer.
But she had to have some distance if she was going to survive this. Tonight was a last for her too — the last time she would watch him coach. Something had come home to her tonight as she watched him rant, give praise, throw his headset in frustration, and clap his team in from the field when they’d pleased him. He wasn’t just coaching football. He was coaching young men, making them better than they had been when they came to him. She wondered if he knew that.
Walking away from a man you loved was hard. Walking away from a man you were so proud of was beyond hard. There was no word for how hard it was. There ought to be a word for things there were no words for. But if there were, someone would misuse it.
The door opened, and out they came. Wet hair, letter jackets, and, tonight, some tears. They weren’t crying because they lost. Coach Scott did not tolerate loss tears. No crying in football. They were crying because it was over. But Kirby wasn’t crying. Though he was smiling a brokenhearted little smile, there were no tears. He walked straight into her arms.
“No tears?” She felt a little misty.
“Oh, Miss Tolly. Not tonight. I’m saving them for something worse. I’ve seen worse.”
“You have, haven’t you?” And suddenly, she needed to cling to something. She needed some assurance, that something would stay the same. “I need a promise from you. I need you to promise you’ll come home for Thanksgiving next year — home being where I am.”
“I can’t promise that. Not all coaches let you go home because you have to play Thanksgiving weekend.”
What heart she had left sunk. Was she to have nothing? “Right. I remember when Harris played. We always spent every Thanksgiving weekend in Tuscaloosa with him. We’d eat in a restaurant.”
“You could come,” he said tentatively. “I know you have family, but if you wanted. Maybe not until the Friday after but — ”
“You are my family, Kirby. My family already accepts you. After you spend some time with the Harris-Bragg-Lee clan, they will never let you go. My guess is, they’ll be right there with us.”
He smiled a devilish little smile. “That would be great. But summer and Christmas breaks. I’m there. You’ll be sick of me.”
“Yeah, probably. Especially after I spend every weekend coming to watch you play.”
“Don’t forget, you might be watching me stand around.”
“If so, I am sure you will be a great stander. Now go have a good time. Take the car. I’ll get a ride.” Missy and Lanie had not come to the game because of the rain. Harris, Luke, and Lucy had offered to wait with her, but she’d insisted they go home. But Sondra Bowman would drop her off.
“You sure?”
“It’s parked in the usual spot. Home by midnight, please.”
“Thanks!”
She didn’t notice that Nathan was standing three feet away until Kirby was gone.
“So you’re carless?” he asked.
“So it would seem. I’m going to get Kirby a car for Christmas.”
“Generous.”
“It has nothing to do with generosity. If I don’t do it, who will? Besides, I want to control what he drives. Safety issues.”
“You’ve stepped up, Townshend. You’ve really been there for that boy. It will mean a lot to him to have you at his games next year.”
She appreciated the words but hurt at the surprise in his voice.
“I come through sometimes,” she said.
“I need to go to Applebee’s. Please come with me.”
“No.” She wasn’t giving up this pretense yet, but not going with him to Applebee’s after the game was not going to cause people to speculate. For that matter, he didn’t have to go. “Don’t go. You know you don’t want to.”
“I don’t,” he agreed. “But my boys are going to be there — at least most of them will be. Applebee’s is feeding them, the cheerleaders, and the band free tonight. And I have to be there for them.”
“Then tell people I was wet and cold and didn’t want to go.” Because truly, she’d had about all she could take for one week.
“I need you.”
She looked
into his eyes. He meant it. And what could she say?
So she went. They didn’t eat. They didn’t even sit down. She followed Nathan, as he made his rounds, table to table. He talked to every boy who had played for him, every parent, and every Merritt High Bobcat supporter. She knew he was still hurting over the past few days, from the accusation to the less than complete support of the school board. But he put it aside, did what he had to do. Lanie was right; it was magic. They adored him. And the hell of it was, he meant every word of praise and appreciation. It wasn’t all smoke and mirrors.
“Well, that was exhausting,” he said later as he drove her home. “And probably pointless.”
“Make light, Nathan, if you want to, but you’re a good man, a good coach.”
“Mighty pretty words for someone who has been accused of child molestation and lost a ballgame in the space of five days.”
He was trying to be blasé, but there was pain buried in his words. She could hear that pain every time. She hoped the woman he ended up with would be able to hear that pain, and make it go away.
“It wasn’t child molestation. It was sexual misconduct.” Maybe if she set her mind on a technicality track, her emotions would go to bed.
“And that is so much better.”
“Actually, it is.” She could explain the repercussions of each. Maybe she would.
“Thank you, counselor, but not when you didn’t do it.”
He had a point. “Agreed. Still, I was trying to compliment you.”
“Does that mean you are ready to put this unpleasantness behind us?”
She should have seen that coming. Nathan wasn’t one to miss an opportunity.
“No. It’s more than unpleasantness. It has nothing to do with what kind of person you are. It’s about what kind of person you think I am and how you will never trust me.”
“Please, let’s forget it,” he implored as he stopped in front of Miss Caroline’s house. “Let it go, Townshend. Let me come in with you.” He put an arm around her and she broke. The tears came and he pulled her against him.
When he kissed her, she tasted her own tears, and nothing of him at all — no toothpaste, chocolate, or sweet longing. That made her cry harder.
She knew what the answer would be, but she had to try again.
“I’m going to ask you one more time.” She pulled out of his arms. “Please, can we talk about it? Please, will you come in with me and let me tell you the things I need to tell you? Can you please hear me out?”
“I’ve told you,” he said. “There’s no need for all that. I want you anyway.”
And then she finally understood. This was the price of magic.
• • •
Why was someone ringing the doorbell in the middle of the night? Except there was too much light seeping through Tolly’s eyelids for it to be the middle of the night. She opened one eye and groaned when she saw the clock. Almost 11 A.M. Small wonder, though. She’d hardly slept at all.
The bell rang again. And no chance of Kirby answering it. He’d be long gone to Shaun’s house where there was an eating and college football watching marathon in progress. Maybe if she lay here quietly, whoever it was would go away.
But no. More ringing. She got up and pulled her robe on over Nathan’s football jersey. She hadn’t been sleeping in it lately, hadn’t needed it. Yet last night it was the only thing that would do.
She made her way toward the door. Please, God. Don’t let it be him. I really can’t stand it today.
She opened the door. After a week like she’d had, Tolly thought there was nothing else that could have surprised her. She was wrong. Unless she was dreaming. That was more possible than who she found on her doorstep.
“Hello,” the woman said. She had not lost her southern accent. “I’m Arianna.”
But identifying herself was not necessary. Even if she had not been a supermodel, Tolly would have known her anywhere. He looked just like her.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Frozen. The ice did its job too well. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak.
Arianna offered her hand. “And you must certainly be Townshend.” She used the smile that Nathan brought out when he really wanted something. Badly.
“Tolly,” she said. “Please. Everyone calls me Tolly.” Everyone but him. She wondered if Arianna had gotten the name from Nathan or the media. Because truly, she knew nothing about what communication passed between those two, if any.
Arianna smiled again. “Tolly, then. Ah, those southern nicknames. Almost as charming as the double names. And think, if the two had been combined, you could have been Tolly Lou.”
“Doubtful,” Tolly said. “My mother barely tolerated Tolly. I don’t think she would have gone for Tolly Lou at all.”
“I must apologize.” Arianna looked at her robe. “I see that I have wakened you.”
“Not at all,” Tolly lied.
Arianna raised an eyebrow and looked past her. Fabulous. She was assuming Nathan was in there somewhere, probably naked.
“I mean, yes you did. I was sleeping. But I shouldn’t be this time of morning. Come in. Please.”
She stepped aside and Arianna entered. And there they were, two southern women, pretending this wasn’t awkward, pretending this situation wasn’t extraordinary. They squared off like two warriors with only their manners for armor.
“Can I offer you something?” Tolly asked. “Coffee will only take a few minutes. Unless you prefer tea?” Did she even have any teabags that weren’t Lipton family size, for iced tea? Why hadn’t she just gone ahead and offered her eggs Benedict and a Bellini?
“Nothing for me.” Arianna peeled off lambskin gloves that it was in no way cold enough for. “But you go ahead.”
“No, no. I’m fine. May I take your coat?”
Arianna surrendered her camel cashmere coat. Underneath, she wore dark brown wool pants and a caramel colored cashmere sweater. Must have been cold in Paris when she packed. No jewelry except the pearls in her ears. She’d dressed carefully. Nice, but not over the top. Clearly this visit was important to her.
But the bag said it all. Oversized Birkin. Probably the bag of the moment, but Tolly wouldn’t know for sure. Her grandmother gave her bags for Christmas — nice, classic bags that were about quality, not name.
“Please sit,” Tolly said. “And if you will excuse me, I’ll hang your coat and slip into something less comfortable.” She had no idea what kind of conversation she was about to have with this woman but she didn’t intend to have it wearing Nathan’s football jersey, a robe, and no shoes.
Arianna laughed a silver little laugh. “Take your time, honey. It was very rude of me to come unannounced.”
You bet your sweet fanny it was. “Not at all. Of course you’re welcome in my home.”
Tolly brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and threw on jeans and a sweater in record time. She did not waste her energy wondering about what came next, but she promised herself she was not going to play this dancing around the issue game all day either.
Apparently, neither was Arianna because she spoke as soon as Tolly reentered the room.
“I suppose you would like to know why I’m here.”
“It occurred to me to wonder.” Tolly sat in the club chair, opposite the sofa where Arianna sat.
“I want to see my son and he won’t take my calls. He has blocked my number. I think you can help me see him.”
“I see,” she said. “How long has it been since you’ve talked to him? Seen him?”
“I would think you would know that. The media has portrayed you as the most important thing in his life.”
“Hmm.”
Arianna was silent. Then she laughed a little. “You are a clever girl. You don’t give away much, do you?”
Tolly cocked her head to the side and tossed out a questioning look.
“All right.” Arianna sighed. “You’ve got all the cards. I get that.” She folded her hands as if in prayer, and bowed her head to them for a second. “I haven’t talked to Nathan — not in a very, very long time. I went to his college graduation. It was after one of his surgeries. He was on crutches. Still, he outdistanced me.”
“And you haven’t seen him since?”
“No. I tried when he was in Texas for a time. But, well — no. I have not talked to him since he got hurt in college.”
“Then why now?”
“He’s been though a lot. I want to be here for him.”
“He’s been through a lot before.”
“You’re tough, aren’t you?” Arianna gave her an admiring look. “I am glad that you’re in his corner. I’d just like you to help me be there too.”
“Why now?” she repeated.
“I failed him before. I don’t want to do it again.”
Just once? “Tell me about that. I need to understand.”
“And if I tell you, you’ll help me?”
“Not necessarily. I don’t even know that I can. But if you don’t, I for sure will not.”
“Then tell me what you know. At least save me from repeating painful things unnecessarily.”
Tolly weighed that. Why not? She didn’t have to tell her when she got the information.
“All right. I know you were in close contact his senior year in college. You were in California, but you were planning to move to be near him. You were planning to go with him to the Heisman ceremony and for NFL Draft day. Then you were going to permanently relocate to wherever he landed to play pro ball.” That was where her information ended. “Of course, none of that ever materialized.”
Arianna bent a pain filled face to her hand. “I have admitted I failed. I should have come. He wanted me to. I tried. I meant to. After he got hurt, I bought plane tickets three different times, but I just couldn’t get on the plane. There’s no excuse, really. But I cannot stand hospitals, pain, illness.”
Even for your child? Tolly wanted to scream. Your child whom you deserted, but who was asking for you, willing to give you a chance?
Scrimmage Gone South (Crimson Romance) Page 24
