Unobtainium 1: Kate on a Hot Tin Roof

by Niall Teasdale

  ‘No, Charles,’ Antonia said, smirking. ‘It did not, and it was most excellently achieved. Have you considered the stage?’

  ‘I have not, Mrs Wooster, for the good reason that my acting has a qualitative similarity with my skill at walking through walls. Now, this enterprise appears to have been well considered and to have worked out for the good, but I would caution against exposure on your part, Kate. There are those who would most likely not take well to your… Well, to your existence.’

  ‘That is why we had Kate avoid the press on the way out. They must have spoken to one of the girls for none outside the warehouse saw anything of Kate’s activities.’

  Charles nodded. ‘And we cannot expect Kate to remain entirely secluded her whole life, so we must expect some interest. I am confident that you are both acting in Kate’s best interests. Now, on to other matters.’ He put the paper aside without another thought and reached into his coat to remove a metal case. ‘This is for you, Kate. More specifically, I wish you to begin taking the contents, one a day, every morning.’

  Kate took the box from him and opened it. It was full of small, white pills which appeared to be made of pressed chalk. ‘What are they?’

  ‘Well, currently they are an experiment. I have, as you know, been taking samples of your blood at various points in your menstrual and radiological cycles. The same set of chemicals turn up following your radiation therapies, declining over the week. I have synthesised these pills to supply your body with those same chemicals via a pill. Frankly, some of the molecules are complex and I do not understand their function under normal circumstances, but I have determined that they exist in others. You simply have larger amounts. It is my hope that these pills will eliminate your need for the reactor, or at least reduce it significantly.’

  ‘Oh, Charles, that’s excellent news.’ Kate’s eyes were bright. Even if she had to take pills for the rest of her life, it was better than the weekly trips to the reactor.

  He held up a cautionary hand. ‘The human body is not a test tube. The supplement appears to produce the same effect in blood as I have seen in my analysis, but there may be another factor involved which I have yet to detect. You must be watchful for signs of withdrawal and report them immediately to me. Mrs Wooster, I will instruct you on the measurement of Kate’s blood pressure and temperature, which we should monitor over the next few weeks.’

  Antonia smiled. ‘I am aware of the process for taking a temperature, Charles, though I have never been required to record blood pressure before.’

  ‘Generally it is not required for first aid. If we have detected no abnormalities in a month, then I believe that we can say we have an effective treatment.’

  ‘Thank you, Sharles,’ Kate said, looking down at the little, white pieces of hope in her hands. Yes, he was right, they would have to wait until they could confirm the efficacy of the treatment, but this represented freedom to her. She could be free of the need for the weekly reactor visits. She could travel, perhaps actually see Africa. ‘I am blessed indeed to have such friends as I have.’

  Heat

  Barstow Club, Mayfair, 16th August 1920.

  Kate looked down at the visitors’ book with an expression of consternation. ‘I… I’ve never signed anything before.’

  ‘Your signature is just something you mark down to signify that you have signed the document,’ Antonia said. ‘Many use their name, sometimes it is more of a scribble than anything recognisable. You see the other signatures there. Just write something which represents you on the line.’

  Kate frowned at the space and then marked down ‘Kate’ with a little extra style on the letters. As an afterthought, she added two small chevrons above the ‘e’ to make cat ears. ‘There.’

  Antonia peered at Kate’s signature and smiled. ‘Just remember that. You may need it in the future. Now, let me show you some of the Barstow Club. Your guardian’s grandmother is the reason that we can walk into this building so I believe it to be high time that you saw it.’

  ‘It is certainly a grand building,’ Kate said as they walked through from the oak-panelled reception room and into the first of four lounges. The building itself was tall and early Victorian in design, heavy on the Gothic influence, but there had been some refitting in the interior since the early build. Part of that had been the creation of a ‘ladies’ lounge’ out of part of one of the others, but the first one you came to was the ‘visitors’ lounge,’ which was usually the most heavily used.

  ‘Beyond is the members’ lounge,’ Antonia said pointing out a door with an attendant at the rear. ‘I’m afraid I can’t take you through, though there’s little reason to go in anyway. It’s generally full of smoke and old men who grumble at the sight of a skirt.’

  Kate gave a quiet giggle; speaking too loudly seemed inappropriate. ‘I believe I shall manage without. This room seems quite pleasant.’

  ‘I spend much of my time here, when I come.’

  It was open and the panels were light oak instead of dark. There was a large fireplace against one wall which was not currently lit, and the lighting was moderately bright. Chairs, large wing-backs for the most part, were arranged in groups of from two to four, either with a single large table or several smaller ones. The seating was by no means full, but there were a significant number of them taken. Generally the occupants were men, and generally they seemed to be under fifty, but there were several women, some of them dressed more anachronistically than the gowns Antonia and Kate were wearing.

  ‘That door leads to the ladies’ lounge,’ Antonia went on, pointing out a small door on their left, ‘which we may retire to should Charles not arrive. Even if he does, I may invite him in without breaking decorum, much as he could invite me into the gentlemen’s lounge beyond the members’ room. Though it must be said that gentlemen are invited to attend their companion more frequently. They say it is because a gentleman should always attend a lady and not the other way around, but it is not exactly uncommon knowledge that there are other reasons.’

  ‘And,’ Charles said as he stepped up behind them, ‘a lady’s ears would likely melt were she to listen too long to the conversations in there. I consider that room a stain on the character of the club, but Lilian had to compromise a little to get the vote passed.’

  ‘Charles, excellent, we were expecting you to be delayed. You are looking most dapper this evening.’ Which in this case meant that he was wearing a cream suit, with waistcoat, where he normally wore dark colours.

  ‘I have left various experiments to “cook” as it were, but I would not delay my arrival more than absolutely necessary, and I was required to dress to my utmost ability this evening for I knew I was to have the honour of escorting two beautiful women.’

  ‘Indeed. Does Kate not look most agreeable in her new gown?’

  The gown in question had been purchased the day before. Antonia had decided that she had been spending too much time at home, and that Kate needed to be introduced to society, in a controlled manner. So an evening gown was needed and had been purchased. It was fairly simple, but off the shoulder and quite daringly low cut with a fitted bodice below the neckline. Antonia had said that a figure like Kate’s demanded to have its best features, by which she meant her chest and waist, pointed out to any who may look her way. Sadly, according to Antonia, Kate’s long legs were going to have to remain a mystery to most. The creamy silk set off her skin well too.

  ‘Anything I say would not be sufficient,’ Charles replied, ‘but I believe I shall be the envy of the room.’ He offered them each an arm. ‘If you would invite me to your gender’s sanctum, we might have a little more privacy and some quiet.’

  ‘I believe that may be unlikely, but we shall go. I saw Margot Darkhead’s name in the register when I signed in.’

  ‘Ah.’

  ‘I don’t believe I am acquainted with the name,’ Kate said.

  ‘Miss Darkhead is an adventuress,’ Charles explained, ‘the daughter of one of the original wom
en members. She has… rather strongly held beliefs.’

  ‘And little restraint in expressing them,’ Antonia added. ‘Loudly.’

  The ladies’ lounge was a relatively small room with another fireplace filling the nearest narrow wall. The woodwork had been painted white with a decorative border around the ceiling, and the chairs were smaller, set in fours around small tables. Down at the far end of the room, two tables had been pulled together so that six women could gather around them, though it seemed to Kate that the focus of the group was on one of them, a tall, strongly built, auburn-haired woman in jodhpurs and a tweed riding jacket.

  There was a maid beside the door, the first female staff member Kate had seen. Antonia ordered three whiskeys from her and she bobbed a curtsey before stepping out of the room to have them brought.

  Selecting a table near the fireplace, they sat down. Kate noted that the leader of the little group at the far end seemed less than impressed that Charles was staying, but she decided that saying nothing was the best course.

  ‘What is above us?’ she asked instead.

  ‘A billiards room,’ Charles said, ‘and the dining room. A few rooms kept for private functions, meeting rooms for the senior members, suites for out-of-town members to stay in overnight should they require it, offices, and the attic houses a few members of staff. Lilian has her own suite upstairs as well, though she rarely comes here.’

  ‘It is a grand place, and most progressive to allow women entry, as I understand it.’

  ‘Lilian spent almost a decade persuading her father that it was a wise idea. There was significant resistance from the old guard, but you will have noticed that my grandmother is not a woman who gives up on something once her mind is set for it.’

  ‘I believe I had detected that trait in her, yes.’ In truth, Lilian Barstow-Hall was a stubborn woman with a knack for getting her own way. Her son was lucky that she did not want for much because she had trained him quite well and he could never say ‘no’ to her.

  ‘It is most fortunate for the establishment,’ Antonia said, ‘that Lilian has never yearned for a career in politics. Had she chosen such a path, we would have had our first female prime minister by now.’

  The whiskey arrived as they were laughing, the maid placing their glasses before them and then backing away with a smile. ‘Now, whiskey is something of an acquired taste,’ Antonia went on. ‘Sip, do not gulp. Savour the flavour for a second before swallowing.’

  ‘We won’t judge if you splutter a little the first time,’ Charles added. ‘I believe I almost choked on my first taste of it.’

  Kate lifted her cut-glass tumbler, more or less convinced now that her friends were trying to poison her. And then the scent hit her. Her eyes closed as her enhanced sense of smell dissected the aroma of the pale, brownish fluid. There was a rough, almost sharp edge which stung a little, but beneath it was a warm, full scent which reminded her of the hills above Rhidorroch. Her eyes closed and she took a delicate sip. At first it was just cool liquid in her mouth and then she felt it biting into her tongue and the odd, earthy flavour of it wrapped around her mouth. She swallowed and it burned at her throat and left a warm trail which faded as it went.

  ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘That is really quite pleasant.’

  Charles shook his head. ‘I should have surmised that your reaction would not have involved embarrassing coughing.’

  Kate took another, larger sip.

  ‘I believe she likes it,’ Antonia commented, smiling.

  ‘I have no doubt that she is almost immune to the alcohol and will have not a smidgen of a sore head in the morning either,’ Charles said, a little sourly.

  ‘And of course he fluffed the shot and I had to step in and shoot the beast. But that’s men for you.’ The loud remark was followed by laughter and giggles. The accent was heavy with upper-crust harshness, as though the speaker was trying her best to seem down to earth and posh at the same time. It had to be Darkhead.

  ‘Is she like that all the time?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Her essential premise is that women are superior to men,’ Antonia said.

  ‘Which, of course, they are,’ Charles added.

  ‘Patently so,’ Antonia agreed with as straight a face as Kate had ever seen, ‘but we are also superior in modesty and therefore do not shout it from the rooftops.’

  ‘One of your most superior features. Intelligent men understand that women are to be most prized for allowing us to believe we run the planet.’

  Antonia looked at him. ‘Lilian has been a terrible influence upon your character, Charles Barstow-Hall.’

  ‘But…’ Kate began. ‘Obviously I am physically superior to Charles.’

  ‘In every way I can conceive of,’ Charles agreed without rancour.

  ‘But in comparison to him, my mind is but a candle flame next to the sun. We each have our strengths as well as our weaknesses.’

  Antonia nodded. ‘And Ms Darkhead’s weakness is that she does not understand that. It is far from being an uncommon trait, while wisdom and common sense are by far more rare.’

  ‘I believe there must be an owl among the creatures Cooper used in his experiment,’ Charles said. ‘That bird has long been associated with wisdom and I feel it is the only explanation for Kate’s wisdom at the age of six.’ Kate stared at him, eyes wide. ‘There! An owlish expression if ever I saw one.’

  ‘Stop teasing, Charles. Though one cannot help but speculate on the animal side of our owlish Kate. There is a big cat there, but there are traits not associated with felines. Your sense of smell is more acute, Kate, a feature more of the canine breeds.’

  ‘Her strength, I believe, comes from the Unobtainium in her body, so we can likely discount bears or similar large beasts. We suggested a panther initially, did we not? Perhaps a grey wolf also? That would cover all Kate’s capabilities thus far.’

  ‘Thus far?’ Kate said, frowning.

  ‘We cannot discount the possibility that further capabilities may reveal themselves.’

  ‘I think a cat and a wolf are quite enough. I shall be happy without further complications.’

  ‘And what have we here? A new face?’ Kate turned to see Darkhead sitting down beside her. She sat astride the chair, arms crossed on its back. ‘Another young waif shackled by the tyranny of the corset?’ She seemed rather jovial about it, but there was an accusative edge to her tone. Up close she was not an especially attractive woman, though by no means ugly. Her eyes were a sharp green, and she had what one might charitably describe as a distinctive nose with a pronounced bridge.

  Charles was trying not to appear annoyed and not entirely succeeding. Antonia looked across at Darkhead with the bland expression Kate had discovered she generally reserved for those she held in contempt.

  ‘Margot Darkhead, this is Katherine Felix. She is ward to Doctor Barstow-Hall and lodging with me while she is in London. Miss Felix is far from being a waif, Margot.’

  ‘And I do not feel at all shackled,’ Kate added.

  ‘Then what do you call that means of masculine assertion around your waist, girl? Is that not a means of restraint?’

  Kate looked down at her stomach and then back up, shaking her head. ‘No. Perhaps you have never been restrained, Ms Darkhead. I assure you that it feels markedly different.’

  ‘Miss Felix had something of an abusive father,’ Antonia said quickly, ‘from whom Doctor Barstow-Hall rescued her.’

  ‘All men abuse women in their own way,’ Darkhead replied without missing a beat.

  Kate felt the urge to sink her teeth into the woman’s throat rise in her and pushed back on it. ‘Madam, your insinuations do you no credit and Doctor Barstow-Hall’s reticence in giving you the reply I am sure he feels you warrant says much of his character. Without him I would be chained by the neck in a dark cell, barely able to string a sentence together. I owe to him almost everything I am.’ She turned away, smiling at her companions. ‘I believe we are to dine?’

  ‘We are,�
� Charles said, getting to his feet rather stiffly. ‘Let us retire to the dining room.’

  Kate rose to her feet and looked down upon Darkhead briefly before turning once again and joining arms with Charles. The auburn-haired woman’s face had an angry flush to it which Antonia had noticed.

  Standing, Antonia leaned forward a little and spoke in a low voice. ‘Don’t mess with her, Margot. She may look like a “waif” but she could pull your head off without a thought, and if she is required to, I shall be holding her coat.’ Then she too linked arms with Charles and the three walked off towards the door.

  ~~~

  The large group of men entering the dining room caused something of a stir. They were taken to one end where several tables had been arranged together, but Kate could still clearly hear voices speaking a language she did not know. It had some slight similarity to the Afrikaans the slavers had spoken, but seemed a little harsher.

  ‘Von Auttenberg,’ Charles said.

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Count Karl von Auttenberg, a colonel in the German Army. He’s in London on business of some kind and was invited by Colonel Crofter to give a speech on his recent time in Africa.’

  ‘I’m sure it was most interesting,’ Antonia said. ‘The Germans have pressed into some regions of the Dark Continent which have remained unmapped to this point.’

  ‘Perhaps you should have attempted to attend?’ Kate suggested.

  ‘If Colonel Crofter organised the gathering then I am sure that the room would have been filled to capacity before I applied.’

  ‘He is one of the “old guard” which I spoke of,’ Charles explained. ‘His opinions on women explorers are not a secret, and are not positive.’

  ‘He told me, to my face I might add, that he would not trust a map drawn by a woman for we are “constitutionally inclined to exaggeration and incapable of sufficient accuracy.” Not that the man could use a map to navigate from his front door to the back.’

  Antonia was looking a little disturbed and Kate determined to lighten the mood once more. ‘Neither could I. My brain is constitutionally unable to make heads nor tails of maps.’