Transformation (From the Embers Book 2)

by Jaliza A. Burwell

  Landus. He made me feel emotions I had never known. He made me feel happy. Safe. I had never felt safe before and yet he taught me what it felt like. But now. I wasn’t safe. I opened up to him. Trusted him. And destroyed his trust.

  Less than twenty-four hours to move on.

  Was that how fast people moved on?

  Trusting the new witches’ wards to let me know if any more trouble decided to come to my house, I moved stiffly towards the stairs to go to bed. Before I even made it to the first step, a warning washed over my body as someone not welcomed hit against my ward.

  I sighed and contemplated leaving them there knocking. I wish I could, but I knew nothing about these new players who were able to break through the mage’s wards so easily. Pushing away the tiredness dragging at my limbs, I grasped onto the little bit of adrenaline instead. I’d never felt so drained before. My limbs were dead weight.

  The pounding occurred again against the ward in the backyard.

  I quietly walked over and peeked out of the small window.

  Well shit.

  Baron.

  With about twenty guys standing behind him and none of them looking like wimps. His elites.

  Standing just behind him was the man Mage Thomas described when they were attacked. The man was tall, a couple inches over six feet, with his dark hair up in a ponytail. His dark eyes matched his dark skin, and I could feel his energy despite the wards around my house.

  My body stiffened momentarily. This was not good. Even though I was kickass, I still knew my limits and there was no way I could take on all these men on my own. They would overwhelm me. My heart ached for Landus, but I quickly pushed the emotions away. He didn’t have my back anymore.

  No one did. I snickered to myself. When did anyone have my back? It was back to exactly how it should have been. Me. Just me.

  I gripped the rage swirling through me, holding onto it with all that I had. Otherwise, I would charge into the middle of them and just let loose until one of them killed me. Or kidnapped me.

  Feeling marginally like my normal self, I let out a breath and opened the door.

  “Can I help you?” I asked, putting on my best I don’t give a fuck look. I leaned against the doorway with my arms crossed, flicking through a million possibilities.

  “We came to pick you up, Nyssa,” Baron said a little too nonchalantly.

  I cocked an eyebrow, taking in everyone. “This is a lot of people to come play chauffeur.”

  “After our last attempt, we decided not to hold back.”

  “Why? Why are you here? What do you want with me? Why do you have such a fucking hard-on for me?” I snapped at him.

  I didn’t miss his eyes as they raked over me. He broke out into a smirk. “Hmm. Hard-on. That is a very accurate description.”

  Bile rose at his words. “Excuse me while I go throw up.”

  Baron laughed, the sound booming around us. “I think we can work very well together,” he finally said once he was able to calm down.

  “I don’t want to work with you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve never been interested in that whole destroy Terra Firma propaganda. I don’t care about the world.”

  Baron smiled indulgently at me. “You’re deader inside. What happened?”

  “I’m still me.”

  “But for how long? How much longer can you get knocked down before you finally don’t get back up fast enough? I can help you.”

  I snorted. As if I would believe all this bullshit. He couldn’t woo me like he did all his cronies behind him. “You should just give up. You can’t seduce me because you don’t have anything I’m interested in.” I looked him over slowly, and his face darkened for just a moment before he got control of himself.

  He nodded toward his side-kick who had stepped up to the ward while I chatted with Baron.

  “Have you met my friend, Jaxon, here?” he asked.

  “I’ve heard about his work. The mages weren’t happy.”

  “Ah, yes. Them.” He shrugged gallantly. “They are too easy.”

  “If they are, then why are you here harassing me instead of them.”

  “Should I go to them instead?”

  “If it means you’ll leave me alone.”

  “You really are interesting, Nyssa. No one knows anything about you except you survived the Woodlands before your witch friend pulled you out of the bushes and nursed you to health.”

  I just stared at him while keeping another eye on Jaxson, who stood only inches from my ward.

  “They don’t know what you are capable of doing, what it means that you are alive,” he continued.

  “Oh, and you know?”

  “Of course. You are the top predator in all of Terra Firma. No one can kill you. How does it feel being one of the last few phoenix to be alive?”

  My entire body stilled, my lungs stopped working, and I swore even my blood stopped pumping.

  “How do you know?”

  He smiled again, that stupid indulgent smile of his. “I have my resources. You are very powerful in your own right. If you wanted, you could kill us all in moments, not even giving us any chances.”

  “Don’t tempt me.”

  He chuckled. “I have no doubt you would have the moment you opened that door if you knew how.” He looked me over slowly again this time but not with any carnal thoughts. I might as well had been standing up on a podium for scrutinizing buyers. “I spent some time with an interesting man a few years back. What was it... fifty years ago, I think. He was the last remaining descendant of some hunters of a particular beast. Your particular beast.”

  Flashes of bodies popped through my mind. They were quick and merciless. Blood and carnage. The first time I ever saw it. Pain and loss stabbed at me before I shoved it all away, but I was too slow in schooling my expression. Baron noticed the near crack and broke out into a grin.

  “You know what I’m talking about then.” He cocked his head to the side, his darkness coming out to play. “We have a lot in common, Nyssa.”

  “We have nothing in common.”

  “We both know that isn’t true. You understand me better than anyone else.”

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t. I don’t understand you at all. I don’t understand why you bother with trying to kill everyone. I don’t understand why you’re so determined to get yourself killed.”

  “Killed?” He chuckled. “I have no interest in dying.”

  I raised an eyebrow, mocking him. How much insanity ran through his blood? “Oh, you definitely do because you are on my shit list. Right at the top. In big red letters, spelling out your name. You will die, Baron. You will be on the ground at my feet, bleeding out, because I will be the one who will bury a dagger inside you.”

  His mask crumbled just enough for me to see the madness he was trying so hard to hold back. He worked at gathering himself together for a moment, going back to that stupid mask of fake friendliness, even kindness, but he couldn’t quite get it all back together. He seemed to realize this too.

  “What is taking you so long?” he snapped to Jaxon.

  Jaxon looked up at me, the darkness in his eyes endless. Where the hell did Baron find a creep like him? “She did something to strengthen the wards.” His voice was an itch that couldn’t be scratched. It nestled into my skin and refused to go away.

  I smiled sweetly at them. “I may not be able to use magic, but I am an expert with energy. You won’t get past it.”

  Baron and Jaxon both regarded me with new interest, probably wanting me even more. Finally, Baron broke out in a boisterous laugh that was sure to shake my house if the wards weren’t up. He was that jam-packed with unused power.

  “Sir, the shifters will be here shortly,” one of his minions stepped forward and warned him.

  Baron looked at me, at the ward keeping them out, and at the surroundings, probably wondering whether it was worth it to wait and fight it out with the shifters or to just leave. He finally
made a decision, though I could tell it wasn’t the one he wanted to make.

  “We will leave for now, but think about what we have to offer compared to them. We can help you. And to show you some good faith, your friend was poisoned with Berrinberry.”

  “Berrinberry?” I worked through all the poisons I knew in the Woodlands and when I finally found that little entry, my eyes widened.

  “Yes. Berrinberry. I wish her luck in her survival, but then again, since you are her friend, I have every reason to believe she will be okay.”

  He nodded his head before doing something I couldn’t see, forming a gate that they all jumped through. They disappeared just as the shifters came around the corner of the back of my house with another group busting through my front door.

  Berrinberry. Shit.

  “I’m fine,” I called out so they didn’t finish the job in destroying my house. Shit. It was only the other day that I was cuddling up to Landus in my bed. I had never felt old before, not until today.

  Slade’s energy wrapped around me as he sidled up to stand next to me, his presence a huge reassurance. His men, a cougar and a wolf, kept sniffing around, a few swiping at my yard as if Baron and his men buried themselves to hide from everyone. They weren’t going to find anything, but they needed to sniff to believe rather than just listening to me.

  “What happened?” Slade asked.

  “Baron tried to roll the welcome wagon out. Disappeared through a gate.”

  “Can you open the gate?”

  I shook my head. “Gate is long gone. It wasn’t up long enough for a strong connection.”

  We fell into a few minutes of silence as the shifters continued to attempt to find something useful.

  Finally, I sighed, feeling the tension that rolled off Slade. “What’s wrong?”

  His eyes flickered to me then back to his men.

  “Slade, I’ve known you long enough to know when something is poking you. What is wrong?”

  “I usually don’t care and I know how you work, but what happened between you and Landus?”

  Schooling my thoughts, I kept my voice bland and answer simple. “We slept together.”

  “I figured.”

  A moment of silence passed as Slade tried to collect his thoughts to form the right question that he apparently couldn’t find.

  “Was that all you guys were, a fun fuck?” He wasn’t looking my way, but my senses told me all his attention was on me.

  I shrugged. “We weren’t together long enough to know. Like you said, you know me. I don’t do relationships. I don’t even understand them.” I shrugged again, trying to ignore the pain burning through my body. “We had a good time.”

  “You just want Baron more than a relationship.”

  “Yes.”

  “I feel like you’re full of shit.”

  “Why are you all of a sudden curious about my inability to commit?”

  “Because my Alpha is unapproachable right now.”

  I snorted. “I really doubt that. He looked very happy when I saw him earlier.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Nothing. Are they done tearing my yard apart? I have some things to do before the meeting tonight.”

  Slade stared at me, or through me, and probably saw my true thoughts, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. He nodded. “I’ll see you tonight.”

  Another sharp pain stabbed me because Landus was supposed to be with him. We both knew he wasn’t going to show up.

  “Yeah. Oh, will you meet me at Heldes Park before the meeting? I’ll need a ride. There is no way I am leaving my car there while I do something.”

  He nodded and at some unheard and unseen sign, all the shifters disappeared to the front of the house.

  Chapter Seven

  I remember finding a small bright blue flower with a red middle. It had to have been the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Emotions of relief flooded me and I knew, just knew, everything would be okay. I remember reaching out to the flower with my little hands and it biting me, reminding me that nothing was okay.

  —Nyssa’s Journal

  I came out of the forest into Heldes Park with only a slight limp and some blood stains, the sun already down. I licked at the blood that dripped from my forearm thanks to a rambunctious little sprig of a thing that looked like a twig until I had gotten within reach. Then it tried to stab me repeatedly with its stupid wannabe branches. After letting it draw blood once, I broke its limbs, enjoying the satisfying crunch.

  Heldes Park was one of the few daring parks that brushed up against the Woodlands. Those who came here fell into two categories: the pussies who pretended they weren’t about to piss themselves, and the beasts who knew exactly who they were and what they were capable of doing. At least one person died every week here, though it was not as bad as Milly’s Bed, another park on the other side of the city with at least five deaths a week.

  If a well-trained person wanted to get into the Woodlands, Heldes was a good entry point to avoid hungry jackasses who skulked around Milly’s for food. In general, though, when someone came out of the Woodlands, they expected surprises. It was a game to others to jump whoever was coming out. If people survived the Woodlands, they usually came out exhausted. I expected one of those surprises, but what I found was even worse.

  Landus.

  Standing there.

  A warped beastly man was crumpled at his feet, unmoving, and definitely dead by the way his head hung off his shoulders.

  My breath was stolen at the sight of his familiar figure standing there, waiting. It was like drawing in a full breath after drowning for too long. Hope tried to flood through and I nipped that in the bud. Hope was for the wishful thinkers, not survivors.

  But still.

  Landus.

  My beast reached out to him and hit a wall, sending a shock of pain through my body. He completely blocked me out.

  Breathe.

  You’re alive.

  Not really.

  Breathe.

  You’re not hurt.

  Pain. All Pain.

  Breathe.

  You will get through this.

  Seeing him. Not so sure.

  A shuddering breath escaped me and my body shook as my lungs emptied. His eyes took me in but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He had completely shut me out and I couldn’t really blame him.

  “Landus,” I whispered. “What are you doing here?”

  A muscle twitched as his nostrils flared. His eyes zeroed in on blood. Not even the mud covering me could mask the scent.

  “Something came up so Slade is unavailable. He said you needed to get picked up.”

  I looked him up and down, wanting some sign that he was hurting as much as I was. Nothing. He was the epitome of Landus: hard, strong, handsome, and callous. He didn’t have any of that warmth I was used to seeing. I knew the rumors, knew he showed a lot of people a man one would never approach, even with sunshine and rainbows. I’d even seen it while he fought and faced enemies. He just never used it on me.

  I walked closer, ignoring my inner turmoil.

  “What were you doing in there?” he asked.

  Glancing behind me at the wall of nature, I took in the entrance. It was literally a wall of trees taller than four-story buildings, even five-story buildings. The bushes and weeds at the base of the trees were as tall as me, even taller. A true jungle.

  I lifted up a small satchel. “Had to get something to help Cecil heal.”

  “At least you’re capable of caring about someone.”

  I barely hid the wince as his cold words stabbed at me. Cold words hiding the simmering anger underneath. I deserved it.

  “I never pretended to be someone I’m not.”

  He snorted. “Of course, because fucking means nothing to you.”

  A memory pushed itself out and tore at me before I could stop it, and if it weren’t for those memories, I probably wouldn’t have said what I said next. If his wor
ds didn’t cut so deeply or too close to the truth, I would have been able to hold back. But where it came to Landus, it had always been a struggle to control my mouth.

  Before I could stop myself, I replied, “Sex is just sex. A pleasure. Or pain. Depending on the who and the why.” I let out a cold and empty chuckle as I felt hard hands on my body, as I smelled the musk of lust filter through my mind. As pain and disgust made its way deep into my soul and changed me. “I can’t see it as anything else. Not after going into the Woodlands as a child but coming out of them without my innocence.”

  Landus’s body stilled and his face grew white. Blinking furiously against the burn in my eyes and the scattered memories trying to drown me, I turned around and walked away, hating myself even more. I shouldn’t have said that, but Landus knew what to say to crawl under my skin and then slash at my very being. Another part of me died as I made my way to his big, useless vehicle. I crawled inside and strapped myself in, staring out the window as I waited for him to join me.

  I had never told anyone about that. Never even hinted at it. It was a secret I’d rather take to my grave.

  He was probably stewing over my words, but I couldn’t force myself to feel right now. Not as those hands touched me and did things to me that sometimes still haunted my nightmares. That sometimes made me go into the Woodlands for a fight. I couldn’t even fight the one who did it because I already killed him. Long ago. Yet not long enough.

  Shit.

  I smashed my fist against the dashboard, ignoring the sharp pain in my hand, and then glared out the window, looking for someone who could potentially pose as a challenge.

  Right now, the only two people who could help me get rid of all this energy by bashing their heads in would be Baron or Landus. But I could never hurt Landus, not intentionally anyway.

  Minutes ticked by before Landus hopped into the truck and started it. His gaze burned into me with all his questions, but I refused to look at him. I kept my eyes on the growing darkness around us as the sun settled down.

  The ride to the restaurant was painfully uncomfortable. Landus kept his eyes on the road and mine stayed glued on the shapes passing through the passenger window. I tried. I tried a few times to open my mouth, to explain what happened at the restaurant, that it was all a misunderstanding, but something stopped. Doubts filtered in and held onto my tongue. Would it even matter at this point?