How to be Famous

by Alison Bond

  He brought his car around to the front entrance even though she was perfectly capable of walking.

  ‘I suppose my car is a write-off?’ she said.

  ‘I’m afraid so. It twisted like it was made of Kleenex.’

  ‘What do you expect for three hundred bucks?’

  ‘You know,’ he said, ‘sometimes you scare me with the things that you say.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Three hundred dollars for a car? You’re lucky it didn’t throw you off a cliff months ago.’

  ‘Yeah, but it didn’t. You worry too much. You should take a risk occasionally. You never know, you might like it.’

  Lynsey stretched back in her seat and opened the window. She sucked in the smog she had been unexpectedly missing.

  Toby looked down at the settings on his air-conditioning and wondered if he could ask her to close the window. Then he saw the smile on her sun-starved face and watched the breeze lift her hair and he decided to let it pass.

  ‘So what now?’ he said.

  ‘Now I want a bath and a beer and a very early night. It took a lot of energy to persuade them to let me go. I’m exhausted.’

  Toby looked across with concern. ‘You feel okay?’

  ‘I feel like I just got out of hospital. And I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.’

  ‘Right. But I meant “what now” in the bigger sense. Like, what’s next?’

  ‘I told you. A bath and a beer.’

  ‘And after that? What about next week? Next year?’

  ‘Next year? I don’t know. Try and get a work visa, I suppose. And insurance. They kind of let that drop at the hospital, didn’t they?’

  ‘I took care of it.’

  Lynsey looked across in surprise. ‘You did? How?’

  ‘I offered to pay cash. They tend to back off when they know they’ll get the money.’

  ‘Oh, hey, thanks. But that must have cost a fortune.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it, I’m loaded.’

  ‘You are? I’ll pay you back. I just need to find out what’s happening with Serena now that, well, you know…’

  ‘Now that she’s no longer beautiful?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Like I said, don’t worry about the money.’ He waved away a hefty bill with a sweep of his hand and Lynsey wondered how much estate agents earned. ‘So how was she?’ he said.

  ‘Not great.’

  She had left Serena behind in the hospital, promising to visit and trying to convince her that everything would be okay. But that was unlikely. Justice had already been on the phone. They called under the pretence of offering condolences but were unable to resist mentioning the programme. The question of what would happen next lingered. Serena wouldn’t be working for a while and without ten per cent of Serena, Lynsey would be broke. Thinking about it made her feel unbelievably selfish but it had to be confronted.

  Melanie would probably keep her on, maybe not as an act of loyalty but certainly because finding another assistant would be inconvenient. If Lynsey could get their professional relationship back on track maybe Melanie would write a glowing reference and she could pick up similar work elsewhere from another frazzled star without the time or inclination to deal with the mundane details of normal life. But that would take a while. And a work permit.

  ‘I think maybe I’ll just have to go home,’ she said.

  But where was that again?

  33

  Justice waited until the day Serena left hospital before officially terminating her contract. It was Max who made the call.

  ‘I’m real sorry, kid,’ he said to Lynsey. ‘We all are. Give her our best wishes. Do you know if she got the flowers?’ Lynsey could hear somebody shout something to him in the background. ‘No,’ said Max. ‘Muffins, apparently we sent muffins.’

  ‘She got them,’ said Lynsey, although really she had no idea. ‘She’s very touched by everyone’s concern.’

  ‘It’s a damn shame,’ said Max. ‘And how about you? You okay? How’s it working out? Any new hot clients I should be poaching from you?’

  It was unlike Max to start a personal conversation. Instinctively Lynsey knew this was leading somewhere.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said, curious.

  ‘Happy?’

  ‘Always.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll cut right to it.’

  ‘I wish you would.’

  ‘We had a call from the IRS. Then immigration. They want to know where you went to. You see, they don’t have you down as leaving the country.’

  ‘Right,’ she said. Her heart sank like a lousy sequel.

  ‘They might call round. There was nothing I could do. Your address was on file.’

  ‘Max, I don’t expect you to protect me.’

  ‘Listen, kid. You may have left home but you’re still family. Besides, I think you have an eye for talent. And that could mean business. If you manage to get over this little setback you can really make something of yourself here. Be someone.’

  Who was she now? A nobody?

  It was expensive to bribe the motel manager. For three hundred dollars he agreed to say that she’d moved on if anyone should come around asking for her. Meanwhile, she was trying to run a business from this address. For the first time she started to think that perhaps she might have made some bad choices along the way.

  Serena was discharged on the proviso that she came as an outpatient every other day to have her dressings changed. Her leg was covered in plaster from her ankle to her thigh and her scars remained red and angry.

  Fabien was there to collect her and threw his jacket high around her shoulders to shield her from the press pack waiting outside.

  They drove home in silence. Fabien was torn between breaking the speed limit to shake off the chasing paps on their mopeds or driving slow so as not to scare her. In the end he kept barely within the limit.

  Serena gazed out of the car window and tried not to feel an itch on her leg beneath her plaster cast. She would have to think about moving. It was too expensive now that she was unemployed. It was small enough not to be lonely, even though Bobby had returned to school in Maine, but the location pushed the price up.

  When they got there she thought about how much she would miss it, the first place that had ever felt like home. With luck and judgement the money she had saved might last a year or so.

  Fabien made sure that she was comfortable and sat beside her.

  ‘I’m okay, you know. You can leave,’ said Serena.

  ‘You can hardly walk. You’re going to need some help getting changed and things.’

  Serena blushed visibly beneath her fading bruises. ‘Not from you.’

  ‘Come on. Don’t be shy.’

  Serena willed herself not to cry. Fabien had been so sweet. She couldn’t have managed without him, but whether it was out of pity or guilt she didn’t need any more of his attention. ‘I can manage.’

  She tried to stand, intending to show him to the door, but she misplaced her crutch and almost tumbled to the floor.

  Fabien leapt up, taking her arm and helping her to regain her balance.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said.

  ‘Now you’re just being stupid,’ said Fabien.

  ‘Don’t!’ Serena brandished her crutch like a weapon. ‘Don’t you dare call me stupid.’

  She had tried to be brave. She had tried to face this uncertain future with the same determination she applied to everything else but it was too hard. It was too hard to pretend that she was grateful to be alive when she felt as if her life was over.

  ‘It’s a shitty world we live in,’ she said. ‘I’m a good person. I’ve worked hard. I have never complained and I have been nice to everyone I’ve met since the day I first crossed the state line. I thought I was doing everything right.’

  There were mirrors on almost every wall; she used to love catching an unexpected glimpse of herself to remind her that she was special. Now her cracked reflection mocked everything she had
tried so hard to achieve.

  Serena paused for breath, trying not to lose control. ‘Everyone thinks it must have been easy for me looking the way that I do, like I don’t even have to try. Well, I do. I had to try twice as hard because it’s all they see. But now…’ She gestured towards her face and caught the sob in her throat before it escaped.

  ‘Why do you think I’m here?’ said Fabien.

  ‘Honestly? I don’t know.’

  ‘I like you. I want to help you.’

  ‘You don’t like me,’ said Serena.

  ‘I do,’ said Fabien. ‘I think you’re a fine and feisty girl who broke into the hardest world there is. That takes guts and talent. And brains.’

  ‘A girl,’ said Serena.

  ‘Yes, a girl. A girl who’s going to be one hell of a woman.’

  ‘Look at me.’

  ‘If your face is that important to you, there are steps we can take, people we can call, we’ll fix it.’

  ‘We?’

  Fabien sighed. ‘Look, Serena. You and me, it wouldn’t work. Trust me, I’m not the kind of man you want.’

  ‘But, I love you,’ she said, because she still did. His rejection burnt her when she thought about it, but she still adored him.

  She knew that she was expected to forget how she felt about him. She was supposed to accept that she had misunderstood his intentions, to recognize that this was a teenage infatuation. She was supposed to move on. But her feelings were stronger than ever. He had shown her another side of himself, a side that she knew could love her too.

  Fabien looked into her hopeful eyes. He could see that she meant it.

  ‘I break hearts, Serena, that’s what I do. You’re far too young to ruin yours.’

  ‘It’s because of my face.’

  ‘No. Don’t be…’ He caught himself. ‘You’re wrong.’

  In the end she let him stay a while. It was dark by the time he left and she lay back in bed and thought about him.

  In the hills, to his immense surprise, Fabien thought about her too.

  Over the next couple of weeks Fabien made a habit of stopping by to see her at least once a day. He brought her books he thought that she might like to read and movies that he thought she might like to watch. More often than not they watched them together.

  Fabien located one of the best plastic surgeons in the world and bribed him to take an immediate all-expenses-paid trip to California to assess Serena as a patient. He had been hopeful that her beauty could be restored.

  ‘You’re lucky,’ he’d said. ‘Your immature skin has enough elasticity to heal. A few more years down the line and it might not be possible.’

  For the first time in her life Serena was glad she was just a kid.

  And when Serena mentioned finding someplace local to finish high school it was Fabien who made the necessary enquiries and Fabien who persuaded her that it was a good idea.

  ‘There’s so much you can do, you know?’ he said.

  ‘I know,’ said Serena. ‘I’m lucky.’

  ‘So what are you thinking of doing?’

  ‘Don’t laugh?’

  Fabien crossed his heart. ‘I promise.’

  ‘I think I might be a doctor. I know it takes a long time but I have plenty of that. And if I focus on a goal early I can make sure I work towards the best college. I’m still young, remember.’

  ‘You know sometimes, Serena, I do forget.’

  ‘So what do you think?’

  ‘Truthfully? I think you’re incredible.’

  ‘You don’t mean that.’

  He looked down at the broken face that was shining with hope and thought how happy he could be with someone who looked at the world the way Serena did.

  ‘If you and I are going to start something then you need to learn how to take a compliment,’ he said.

  ‘Are we? Going to start something?’

  ‘I think so,’ he said. ‘Don’t you?’ He bent down and kissed her softly on the lips.

  *

  Lynsey knew that something had happened to Serena the next time they met. Her eyes were dancing and Lynsey could tell from the way she darted around the room and wouldn’t sit down that she had something to tell.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ said Serena.

  ‘It might sound ridiculous, but I don’t think you’ve ever looked better.’

  It was true. Despite the vicious scars Serena radiated happiness.

  ‘I think I’m falling in love,’ she said.

  Lynsey had her doubts. Hadn’t Serena thought she was falling in love once before?

  ‘It feels totally different to what I expected,’ said Serena. ‘That’s how I know.’

  ‘Different how?’

  ‘Like I’ve found my way home.’

  Maybe that’s where your true home was, with someone to love; maybe it had nothing to do with where you happened to be in the world. Maybe Lynsey had been looking in the wrong places. She was happy for Serena but it felt wrong, the notion of only being able to find your way home when you had someone beside you. Lynsey worked best alone, it had taken her a long time to figure that out, and she wouldn’t fasten onto the next man she saw just because Serena looked so damn content.

  ‘I hope he doesn’t hurt you, that’s all,’ said Lynsey.

  ‘He won’t,’ said Serena and she looked so completely certain of it that Lynsey believed her.

  34

  The next day Riley called early. Lynsey reached for the phone thinking it would be Melanie. Recently Melanie had taken to calling before breakfast.

  ‘Did I wake you?’ he said. ‘I thought you would be glued to the television set by now.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘Nominations day. The second most important day in the Hollywood calendar.’

  She kicked off her bed sheets and flicked on the television. She had to thump it twice to get a decent picture. She’d have to mention that to the manager.

  ‘Has it started?’

  ‘No,’ said Riley. ‘They’re just going through who won last year.’

  They watched for a while. Surprised that they’d already forgotten some of the winners.

  ‘It makes you think,’ said Riley, after they’d both unsuccessfully tried to remember who’d won best director. ‘If you and me, a film hack and a fan, have forgotten this shit already does it really live up to the hype?’

  ‘It is the hype. There’s not meant to be any substance to it.’

  ‘Don’t tell that to Melanie.’

  ‘Do you really think she has a chance?’

  ‘To be nominated, sure. Although I think the bad press has harmed her. She won’t win it.’

  ‘And who’s fault is that?’ said Lynsey.

  ‘Not mine,’ said Riley.

  ‘That’s right, you’ll never take any responsibility.’

  ‘Lynsey, I say what I see. If Melanie had dealt with things differently then there wouldn’t be a story to report. And I’m not just talking about the baby. I’ve heard what she’s like on set. A lot of people have. Shit sticks.’

  ‘Okay, okay.’ She knew that he was right. Which probably meant that as one of the people closest to Melanie she was responsible too. ‘Shut up now, it’s starting.’

  It took for ever to get to the good stuff. Davey Black missed out on best original screenplay and Myanmar was conspicuously absent in some of the other categories.

  The nominations were being announced by a one-time winner on a small podium buried in so many microphones it looked in danger of collapse. He started to read the nominations for Best Actress in a Leading Role. Lynsey held her breath.

  Five names.

  And not Melanie’s.

  At first she thought she may have heard it incorrectly.

  Five names.

  Not mine.

  As the first four nominations were read she had been sizing them up as potential opponents. Now she wasn’t even in the game.

  Five famous faces filled the scre
en. All were wonderful actresses and they all deserved to walk away with the golden statuette that she had already imagined in her hand. She had felt the weight of it crushing all her problems, she had felt the cold metal extinguish her fiery thoughts of unfocused revenge and she had felt the smooth lines that promised a fresh start.

  And everyone had said. If she had a dollar for everyone in the last few months who had come up and made some joke about Oscar gowns then she’d have enough to buy the shoes she’d been planning to wear.

  Now she wouldn’t even be invited. She was just another face on an ensemble television show whose movie got good reviews and unimpressive returns. She had plenty of company.

  And later she had to go to work. She would have to accept everyone’s sympathy in good grace and pretend that she never expected it for a moment. She knew that everyone would be talking about her. And not in a good way.

  The telephone rang. And so it begins.

  Lynsey didn’t bother to call. She went straight round.

  ‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘I know you’re gutted. You don’t have to pretend.’

  Melanie thought about keeping up her nonchalant facade but it was far too much effort.

  ‘Everyone said!’

  ‘I know. I’m surprised. This whole town will be surprised.’

  ‘They’re all going to feel sorry for me.’ The thought of a town full of pity was repulsive. Now she would be famous for yet one more distinctly unpleasant reason. As the one who missed out.

  ‘Would you rather they didn’t care?’ said Lynsey. ‘Because that’s all it means, you know, when someone feels sorry for you. That they share your disappointment. That they care.’

  ‘Ha! They’re all just thankful that it wasn’t them. It’s pity, not kindness.’

  ‘So that’s why I’m here, is it? Pity?’

  ‘You’re here because I pay you to be here.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ said Lynsey. ‘That’s not true at all.’ But she was hardly even able to convince herself.

  ‘Face it, Lynsey, I screwed everything up. Look at this picture. A single mum in a hotel room with a baby next door.’