Unexpected Dreams: Dream Series, Book 4

by Isabelle Peterson

  “Carter,” I said calmly. “Are we going to be okay?”

  Carter worked to calm his breathing, and shrugged. “Yeah, sure,” he said clenching his jaw.

  “Listen,” I tried again. “This wasn’t easy for me to say. But I respect you enough to have flown all this way to talk to you, face-to-face…man-to-man. This is important to me, and I hope you can see this doesn’t change how I feel about you. I still love you. You’re still my son. Same for your brother and sister. And know that I still love your mother, just not in a married way.”

  Carter stood and cleared the small table. I could see him seethe under his attempt at a cool exterior.

  “Carter. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s just different. It’s change. Of all people, you as an anthropologist should understand that change isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s the better thing.”

  “Yeah. Right, I know. It’s fine. I just need time to sort this out. But, I really have to get to the site and take care of something before tomorrow,” Carter insisted.

  I knew my middle boy was always the one who always needed more time than the other two. He never liked when Elizabeth changed brands of bread, or tried new recipes. He usually came around, but was usually rocky at the start.

  “Okay. I’m here until tomorrow night.”

  Carter nodded and opened the front door ushering me out and down to the street. He quickly hailed a cab, and opened the door.

  “I hope to hear from you. I’ll be heading to the airport around seven,” I said before stepping in. I opened my arms for a fatherly hug. Carter simply extended his hand. My heart broke. I shook Carter’s hand and got into the cab.

  The next morning was a long one. I got out of bed late, and walked around downtown Naples, keeping in mind all the crime that Carter had warned me of. I found a coffee shop and sat for a couple hours, the staff trying to get me to try all sorts of dishes using their half decent English. I was nearly depressed with the reaction I’d gotten from Carter. I knew it wasn’t fair for me to feel so down. I couldn’t expect Carter to take on this news with a flip, ‘Okay. Cool!’ In fact, I’d expected everyone to take my revelation the way Jim and Carter had. I’d been beyond blessed and lucky that I’d found such incredible support in Aaron, Elizabeth, Marc, and Joseph.

  I was further bothered when I thought of Bradley. Clearly, Brad hadn’t shared his lifestyle with Carter. I really feared that when Carter learned about Bradley with Zach, there would be a break between the brothers. Perhaps that Bradley was ‘at least bi-sexual’ would be a saving grace, but I doubted it.

  I thought about walking around to look at a couple sites that Carter suggested I visit before heading home, but my heart wasn’t in it. My heart was heavy. Back in my hotel, with room service for dinner, I watched the clock. It was already six-thirty. I knew Carter’s day at the excavation site was done around four. If Carter was going to come by and see me, he probably would have been here by now. With a heavy heart, I collected my suitcase and started to the door and head downstairs to check out.

  When I opened the door, I saw Carter sitting on the floor, knees propped up, his arms hanging on top of them, his head resting on his arms. Carter lifted his head and looked at me. He looked so conflicted.

  “Hi,” I said, overwhelmed with hope. “How long have you been sitting here?”

  Carter shrugged. “An hour or so.” He got to his feet and cleared his throat. “So. First, I need to apologize. I didn’t handle yesterday well. So, I’m sorry. And secondly, I need to say thank you for respecting me enough to come all the way to Italy to tell me this. And I’m sorry I didn’t give you the respect you deserved.”

  “Wow. Thank you,” I said, nearly speechless.

  “A friend helped me see things I wasn’t able to understand.”

  “You talked to someone about me?” I wasn’t mad, just surprised.

  “She’s a really good friend. I trust her.”

  I nodded, wondering where this was all headed. It seemed to be going in a good direction, but I didn’t want to jump the gun.

  “So, anyway. What did you say his name was?” Carter asked.

  A grin hit my face, and my eyes watered. “Tanner,” I said in practically a whisper.

  Carter nodded. “So, well, I… um… wish you and Tanner the best. Does Mom know?”

  “She’s happy. I mean, sure… we both wish we’d known, but we’re still happy that we have you and your brother and your sister. We don’t regret that we married and had you three.”

  Carter thought on that for a moment, then nodded. “Me too.”

  “Listen, I still have about a half an hour until I have to get to the airport. Want to grab a beer?”

  Carter smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  I headed to the front desk of the hotel and was grateful Carter was there. Carter had chanced a glance at the bill and noticed charges that were inflated and bogus. In smooth Italian, Carter practically bullied the guy into correcting the billing.

  Carter and I crammed a lot of talk into the next twenty minutes. When I asked Carter about any new love interests, since he and Lindsey were no longer an item. “Yeah. But it’s complicated. Not in the ‘I’m-in-love-with-a-guy’ kind of way, though,” he joked.

  We both laughed. It felt great to laugh. We would get there…Carter and I would be okay, eventually.

  “But yes, I’ve found someone. The one. And she’s incredible,” he said.

  “Really? Tell me more. I wish I had time to meet her. Do you have pictures?” I asked.

  Carter’s face twisted up; half in an ‘I’m in love’ and half ‘what the fuck-am-I-going-to-do’ kind of way. “I’d love for you to meet her, but it’s complicated.”

  “Oh, I know complicated. But what do you mean? Is she married? Is she jailbait?”

  “No, none of that. I…It’s just…I really can’t say anything right now. I’ll fill you in when I can. Please. Trust me?”

  He pleaded with his eyes, and I let it go…for now.

  “Well, if I can help in any way…even if it’s just to listen. And I promise, I won’t judge. But it’s not good to keep secrets.”

  Carter smiled at me, just the way he did when he was younger. “Thanks, Dad.”

  When we said goodbye, I felt like the king of the world when I’d stuck my hand out for Carter, who shoved my hand away, and pulled me into a hug.

  “So we’re good?” I asked?

  “I’ll get there. You certainly put up with a lot of shit from me in the past,” Carter said. “Hell, you’re still are,” he laughed.

  “It’s okay. I unloaded a huge bomb on you. It’ll take a while. I understand. It’s okay. I’ll take what I can get.”

  “Like I said…I’ll get there. I just wasn’t expecting that…this. My head knows what’s right. My heart will get there. You and Mom raised a good kid, I promise.”

  I hugged my son again and agreed that Carter’s mother had done a good job raising our children.

  CHAPTER 46

  Visiting Phoebe again was a joy. She was now in the seventh month of her pregnancy and was even more beautiful than when I had seen her last. I was comforted in knowing that Charlie was certainly taking very good care of her. And I was further relieved to hear that marriage still wasn’t on the near horizon. Phoebe said the adoption couple she’d chosen, had backed out last minute when they became pregnant on their own, and she was back to interviewing couples.

  “So, that’s my drama. What’s yours?” she asked we walked along in Central Park—well, I walked, Phoebe waddled.

  “What makes you think I have drama?”

  “Um let’s see. When I asked Mom if you were okay because you seemed so different when you were here last, she said that you had some big things going on and would tell me when you were ready. I got a nutty call from Bradley asking me to call him as soon as you came up to talk to me. And Carter emailed me asking me to do the same. And now you’re back here just to visit me without a birthday
or any other reason. I mean, I know you said you were done being an absentee father on your last visit, and you were going to work harder, but with Bradley and Carter’s messages, there has to be more to this. So. Drama. Spill it.”

  I was grateful that Elizabeth and the boys respected my wishes to let me be the one to tell everyone.

  “Where to start…” I mused. Somehow telling the boys was easier. This was my baby girl. My baby girl who was about to have a baby. That still had me feeling rather emotional.

  “Start with answering this question. Are you terminally ill? Are you dying?”

  “Oh God! No!” I replied, stunned that her thoughts would be so dark.

  “So, anything else is not bad news. It’s just news. It’s all about perspective. I choose to enjoy the roses on the thorn bushes, rather than dislike the thorns on the rose bushes. Abraham Lincoln had a quote about that, you know.”

  I still marveled at how mature and smart Phoebe had become.

  I was still nervous about telling Phoebe. The boys, well, one was easier than the other, but how would Phoebe take it? She seemed really okay with her mother’s involvement with gay charities. Then, there’s Phoebe’s physical, and potentially emotional, condition with being pregnant. Would this be best handled after she had the baby?

  “Dad,” she said. “There’s nothing you could say that would make me love you any less. And just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t handle life.”

  Again, I was in awe of my daughter. At her strength and that she had the same ability as her mother; to read me so plainly. “You are a wonder,” I said. “Okay. Here it goes. I’m involved with a man.”

  “Holy shit!” she blurted and stopped walking to turn to face her dad. “Sorry for swearing, but … Shit! Wow,” she said, thinking over what I had just said. “Gay. You. I did not see that one coming. Hmm. I need a second.”

  I couldn’t decide how Phoebe was taking this. I pulled her gently to a bench nearby, half fearing she would faint.

  “Gay. Hmmm. I mean this isn’t good or bad. Well, no, I guess I mean that this isn’t bad. It’s good. It explains a lot. Right? But—hmmm. Wow.”

  I was stunned. I pulled her into a hug, and Phoebe hugged me right back.

  “Did I ever tell you my history teacher Mr. Del Vecchio was gay?”

  I smiled at her. “I think I knew that somewhere along the line,” I said, recalling meeting Mike and his partner John at Oxbow Market.

  “What did Mom say?”

  “You know something… she’s being so amazing.”

  “Well, we are talking about Mom, here. And her work with GLSEN probably has had something to do with her understanding. Oh! And Jack’s best friend is a lesbian. He and mom hang out with Becca and Rita all the time. But still… You. Wow. So, are you seeing someone?”

  I couldn’t help the smile that popped on my face and the thump-thump in my chest. “His name is Tanner.” Phoebe looked a bit shocked by the fact that not only had I, her dad, just revealed I was gay, but that I was indeed seeing someone. “We’ve been seeing each other for about two months now.”

  Phoebe’s bright blue eyes grew wide. “So, did you know, you know…before? Is that why Mom came to New York back in April?”

  “No. I didn’t even have an inkling until August. Your mom knew things weren’t right between us. I had left her unsatisfied and I was too involved in the world I’d created for myself, over-involved with work, and then starting Fairchild and Dolan.”

  “Wow,” she said again. “But wait! You used to be against gays having marital rights. How does that happen? Wow. This is just. Wow.”

  “Yeah, well. Needless to say, I fully support any and all gay rights, now.”

  “You should come to the gala Mom is organizing. It’s in January. You have to come! Bring Tanner! Omigosh! That would be awesome! I know she would want to have you there. Wow. This is just. Ohh!!!” she exclaimed, and put her hands on her belly. What have I done? “I think the little mister is trying to give you a high five. You excited for this news too?” she said to her belly. “Wanna feel?” she asked me, beaming. “He’s really moving in there.” She carefully placed my hand on her belly. “He’s gonna keep his mom and dad busy, that’s for sure. Maybe a soccer player, or something.”

  The thought made me laugh, as I thought about everyone referring to an active baby in utero as a potential soccer player. “You know, Tanner is a soccer player.” Phoebe looked at me strangely. “Yeah, he is. A professional soccer player for the Chicago Smoke. He’s retiring and taking a job with a new team getting started in Sonoma.”

  Her face broke out into a dazzling smile. “That’s really cool, Dad.” Phoebe watched my face. “You look really happy.”

  “I am.”

  “And I’m happy for you.”

  Elizabeth and I met up just before I had to head to the airport. She invited me to her and Jack’s place. I was nervous as I knocked on the enormous, shiny, black door with a giant brass lion knocker. The door was only one intimidating factor of the home. Even from the outside, it was clear that Jack was loaded. This wasn’t news, but somehow seeing his townhouse, in the heart of New York, was a whole new ball game.

  Elizabeth opened the door and warmly welcomed me into the home and led me into the very masculine surroundings. Over coffee, we talked about how my reveal had gone with the kids. I shared that the boys were doing well, and that Carter didn’t take the news as well as Bradley at first, but came around. Under strict confidentiality, I did not tell Elizabeth about Bradley. Bradley requested that he be the one to talk to Elizabeth. It was a fair request. Elizabeth and I also talked about Carter’s cryptic relationship with someone, and Elizabeth shared that this was news to her.

  Elizabeth and I had a good laugh over how Phoebe took the news. “But she’s absolutely right. You and Tanner should come to the gala. It’s January tenth. Do you think you would be able to make it?”

  “I’d have to see. As you know the beginning of the year is usually pretty hectic at the office, but I’ll see what I can do. I probably have a free flight or two after all the flying I’ve been doing these past few months. Thank you,” I said, then added. “For everything.”

  As I boarded the plane, I was excited. Telling the kids for the most part, went well. Carter was a bit rocky, but when I considered that I thought all hell would break lose with every disclosure, the fact that one out of three wasn’t thrilled with the situation, it was all good. And beyond the kids, I was excited to be heading back to Napa. Tanner was moving to town next week.

  CHAPTER 47

  The final walk through and closing for Tanner’s house was on Thursday, October twenty-fourth. Tanner would only be in town for two days because he had to head back to Chicago for the Easter Conference Semifinals the following week.

  As the twenty-fourth neared, I was nervous as hell. Not because Tanner was moving to town, or that we would be going out, and seen in public. Not even because of how Jim might behave. After the past few weeks of talking to my kids, and telling them about Tanner, things were clearer than ever in my mind and I had something ‘up my sleeve.’

  A quick call to Tanner’s realtor, Julie, who was more than willing to help me out, and the ball was rolling.

  Thursday morning, Tanner had his walk through, then headed over to his attorney to sign all the papers and officially own the property. He’d called and asked if I wanted to come along, but I explained that I had a bunch of files to attend to since I was taking Friday to help him move into his new place. But as soon as Julie and Tanner left the walk through, Julie texted me, and I headed over to Tanner’s new house. I slipped in through the back door that Julie left unlocked for me, I got busy, and then I waited.

  It was about three in the afternoon, and I got a text from Tanner.

  3:02pm

  Well, it’s official. I now

  own property in CA!!

  Can you meet me at my

  new place after work?

  I grinned from
ear-to-ear as I looked around his place.

  3:05pm

  Congrats!

  Wouldn’t miss it. Be there

  around 5:15p.

  About a half an hour later, I heard the keys in the front door and my heart started to race. I quickly lit the candle on the table and my mind flooded with questions. What would he think? Too mushy? Too romantic? He’d lit the bedroom with candles for our first night in Chatham. But the mantle? The table?

  I’d made it into the living room by the time Tanner stepped in through the door and I actually got dizzy. I think it was from the blood all rushing from my overactive brain to the mid-section of my body. It had been four weeks since I had laid actual eyes on actual Tanner. We had spoken every day, except for the few days I was in Italy. We’d Skyped often, but to see him in the flesh was a horse of a different color.

  “Greg! What are you doing here?”

  “Welcome home,” I said, standing on the shakiest legs without the aid of an earthquake.

  Tanner shoved his keys into his pocket and walked up to me, kissing me tenderly on my mouth, his hands cupping my jaw, my arms wrapped around his waist. He moaned. I took that to mean that he had missed me as much as I had missed him.

  “I thought you were…” he sniffed the air. “Is that a… a roast?”

  “With potatoes and carrots, but it still has to cook for about an hour and a half.” Tanner’s mother had told me that Tanner’s favorite meal was pot roast when we were in New York. If I’d had Tanner’s mother’s number I would have called her, but instead I called Elizabeth, who graciously shared with me her most awesome pot roast recipe. I had put the roasting pan together at home, and started cooking it as soon as I arrived, then I had gone about with the rest of my set up here at Tanner’s new home.