Wood, Stone and Bone

by Ian Rodgers

  And eventually the tide started to turn. Startled by the blood, most of the herbivores trying to escape the Dullwilds began to swerve to avoid the wagons and the blood-stained stretch of road we were on.

  However, some of the more predatory beings were driven into an even greater frenzy by the scent of gore.

  Yorrik had to put away his bow and drew his two swords as a massive, bipedal flightless owl charged out of the woods.

  ~Such an impressive specimen of an Owlbear!~ Tara exclaimed as Yorrik clashed against it, the magical beasts’ claws collided with reinforced steel and the Ranger began a deadly dance with the monster.

  ~Could you ask Yorrik if you get some talon clippings? Owlbear claws are a component in a strength boosting potion I think you’d enjoy brewing.~

  “I’ll get right on that afterwards,” I muttered. Katherine shot me a confused look and I waved her off.

  “Don’t mind me, just talking out loud.” I then quickly Sharpened her daggers and she dove back into the battle.

  ‘Any other components you’d like?’ I inquired, using telepathy this time.

  ~Powdered stag horn is a nice potion thickener. Useful when you want to brew in bulk but don’t want to lose too much quality.~

  A beaver lunged at me, and I twisted to the side, avoiding its buckteeth. It scampered off, too afraid to attack anyone. It was soon replaced by a mass of large grey toads the color of dirt that tried to hop past.

  ~And if you could, try to keep the eyes and tongues of those Grand Terra Toads intact. They can be used to make an antidote for petrifaction if Grey Fever or Rockbane herbs are not available.~

  After picking off a few of the magical amphibians per Tara’s request, I hurled a glob of acid at a massive spider with a spiked red abdomen that was approaching far too quickly for my liking. It hissed at me as the purple-green goo ate away at its face. I dodged a spray of toxins it spat at me in retaliation, and fired a Stone Shot at its legs, the earthen projectile tearing its front left limb off with a spurt of greenish ichor.

  “From the depths, rise! The world is a weapon! Earth Spikes!” I called, and the earth below the Blood Silk Spider erupted straight up as three sharpened spears which punctured its body. It twitched before falling still, its legs curling.

  ~Ooh, and if you can harvest some silk from that Blood Silk Spider we can use it to stick runes into your robes for added protection!~

  ‘This is just one big buffet of loot for you, isn’t it?’

  ~Of course it is. Free stuff is free stuff. And the Guild is clear on the rules for claiming spoils of war from slain monsters. By the way, there’s a Mooncalf incoming at Three O’clock. You may want to kill it before it gets too close to the horses.~

  I glanced over towards the area Tara pointed out to me and winced at the hideous beast that was approaching.

  The Mooncalf looked vaguely like a cow, but with tentacles instead of legs or tail, no head, and where its udder should have been a snapping, slavering maw drooled.

  The livestock around us had already started to panic thanks to the monster’s magical aura which drove hoofed mammals insane.

  I aimed my hands at the Mooncalf and chanted. “Render my foes down to nothing! Melt the flesh, melt the bones! Dissolving Lance!”

  Droplets of purple acid congealed in front of my outstretched palms and quivered as my mana filled them and shaped them into a three-foot-long spear of melting death.

  It fired with the speed of an arrow and struck the Mooncalf head on. The Level Four spell went clean through the beast, splitting the monster in twain, and eventually lodged into the trees behind it, melting a hole through the bark. The corpse collapsed wetly onto the ground and slowly dissolved into a puddle of bubbling goo.

  A dozen or so more creatures rushed out of the Dullwilds before a nervous silence fell on the group. Everyone looked around uneasily, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  When no more creatures emerged sighs of relief went through everyone and the adventurers drooped in exhaustion.

  The stampede had only lasted around fifteen minutes, but it had created a path of devastation around the road, and had worked the convoy’s defenders hard to keep the worst of the frenzied beasts at bay.

  Now that the danger seemed to have passed people began to wander around the battlefield collecting trophies from the fallen animals.

  I went around picking out the items Tara had requested while also passing out personally brewed Minor Healing Potions to all the adventurers.

  “Thanks, Jellik,” Yorrik said gratefully as he took the offered vial. He uncorked it and drained the salmon colored substance in a single draught.

  “Do you have any idea what in the Hells that was?” I demanded, staring out over the field of animal carcasses. “Rosa said they felt afraid of something, but she wasn’t sure as to what it was.”

  “I agree with her assessment that they were running from something, but I, too, am at a loss as to what could possibly evoke such a reaction,” the Ranger replied. He kicked the corpse of the Owlbear that was at his feet.

  “These feathered creatures are one of the top predators of the Dullwilds. Not to mention a freaking Mooncalf was driven out as well. Both of them are B-ranked magical creatures, yet they were so utterly terrified of whatever was chasing them that they didn’t even bother to dodge or use their unique abilities. They were just operating on pure primal instincts in their desire to escape.”

  “Hey, do you mind if I grab some of those talons?”

  “Oh, sure, go ahead.” Yorrik stepped aside, allowing me to reach down and shear the thick claws off with a carving knife Katherine had been kind enough to lend me.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, but these are top quality alchemy reagents and it’s hard to find them on the market,” I stated apologetically. The B-ranker just nodded his head in understanding.

  “It’s fine, I’m rather excited as well. Owlbear feathers are used in upscale dresses and I plan on getting some for my girl. She’ll look lovely with them.”

  “Oh, in that case, why not take some of the Blood Silk Spider silk?” I offered, gesturing towards the butchered arachnid. “It’s easily enchantable so it’s used in protective garments. And it breathes like a dream. Already took the amount I needed, but there’s still a lot left.”

  “Thank you, Jellik, that’s very kind of you,” Yorrik said, and he headed over to check it out.

  I sensed Katherine approaching from behind and waved vaguely in her direction.

  “Glad to see you’re alright. Find any good loot?”

  “Just some venison,” the dwarf said happily. “Now we can have some cooked steaks for dinner. I don’t really need anything else.”

  “Not even some hides to make leather out of? Plenty of decent quality furs too. I’m already picking out my winter coat.” I shivered at the thought of the snow and ice that would soon descend upon the world. “I hate the cold. Hate it to death.”

  “Valen was the same. Couldn’t stand cooler weather. One time, he nearly froze solid when he was on a stakeout and became a Slime-cicle.”

  “Not sure that would sell very well. Unless it was a frozen Berry Ooze. Those taste like a fruit cocktail,” I mentioned.

  “You’ve eaten Oozes before?” the secret thief asked incredulously. I shrugged, then stood up and slipped the Owlbear’s talons into my Dimensional Pocket.

  “A few times. I try not to make a habit of it. Once was to save Princess Liliana from some Poison Oozes which had been released into the palace, another time was a mercy kill. The poor critter’s core had cracked and it wasn’t strong enough to mend the damage. I let it die with dignity,” I explained sadly, thinking back to that event.

  That was also the incident that led to my ‘discovery’ back in Norhelm. I shook my ‘head’ to clear the dreary thoughts away.

  “Trying to clear your head of bad thoughts?” Katherine asked. I nodded and she folded her arms as she looked me over. “That was a surprisingly humanoid gesture
for you. Valen and the others didn’t have much trouble with gestures and the like thanks to possessing ‘muscle memory’ of sorts thanks to the souls used to make them, but I’d have expected you to have a bit more trouble with regular body language.”

  “I’m trying to blend into society, and learning to perform certain gestures like handshakes for greetings or head movements for assent or rejection are vital for that,” I stated.

  She shrugged and looked around the field. “Are you going to bury the bodies with your magic?”

  “That or melt them. Don’t want to create any diseases or zombies with so many corpses littering the area,” I claimed. I turned to face her. “Do you have any idea what caused this?”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve never heard of anything like this happening before.”

  I sighed in annoyance. ‘Tara, see if you can find anything at all. I have a feeling this was not the end of our woes.’

  ~Got it, Jelly.~

  As Tara began to shift through her extensive collection of knowledge I joined Katherine in a walk back towards the caravan.

  I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me and laughing, and a dark suspicion formed in my mind that this was somehow the work of my stalker.

  I steeled my nerves. I refused to let this man push me around and harass me. Sooner or later he would show up, and I would put him down!

  Chapter 16: Night-time greetings

  “Hey, Katherine, can you keep watch over my tent tonight? Make sure no one disturbs me?”

  “Uh, sure, I guess. Why, though?”

  We were setting up camp for the night near a fast-flowing stream. Everyone was smiling as we finally had a chance to wash our blood-stained garments. Trudging several miles covered in filth was not pleasant, even more so for people who could not turn off their sense of smell like I could. Not to mention it had been a while since anyone had had a bath.

  As it stood the adventurers were in good cheer as we put together a laundry detail and prepared to wash ourselves as well as our clothes later that evening.

  Katherine was beside me as we brought our own dirtied clothes to the pile. I was dressed in a ratty old grey robe to replace my gore spattered one, and Katherine was in a rather fetching pair of casual clothes. Despite being a tunic and trouser combination, the outfit had a distinctly feminine cut to it, and it looked good on her.

  “I plan on visiting my owner tonight. I haven’t had a chance to do so this entire trip, mostly because I was a bit concerned about people finding out my secret. And your previously antagonistic attitude compounded my unwillingness to see her.”

  “How can you visit the princess in a single night? Isn’t she living in Manatrem right now at the Academy?” the dwarf questioned before a gleam entered her eyes.

  “Do you know how to teleport? Or maybe Astral Project yourself?”

  “Yes to the latter, though I use Astral Projection in conjunction with a copy of myself to basically move from one body to another. I call it Astral Takeover.”

  “That’s… actually quite odd,” she claimed, looking at me with a critical eye. “You’re a very unusual being. Valen and the rest couldn’t do half the things you can.”

  “I’m a Royal Ooze, the top of my species’ food chain so to speak,” I explained. I dropped my dirty clothes in the pile near the stream and wandered off with Katherine trailing behind after she turned in her laundry and giving a stern warning to the poor sap on duty that if he mishandled her unmentionables she would do terrible, unmentionable things to him.

  “Royal Ooze are exceedingly rare, and we possess far more magic than even most humans,” I continued once we were some distance away from the bulk of the group. “It’s why I can cast so many spells, and high-level ones at that, despite being only three and a half years old or so.”

  “So you’re a super toddler, got it,” Katherine said dismissively. “Back to your original question, sure, I can make sure you have a nice evening with your lady. Be sure to ask her not to send any assassins after me for uncovering your secret the way I did. It would be rather awkward to have to fight off someone I know from the Dark Guild.”

  “I imagine so,” I retorted dryly. “But I promise Liliana will only know as much as necessary.”

  The dwarf maiden nodded thankfully and with more than a little relief before wandering off to find someone to cook up the game she’d scored from the stampede. I felt a glimmer of anticipation come to life at the thought of a nice venison steak.

  It would be nice to have something edible for once that wasn’t a stew of some kind. Not to disparage the skills of the convoy’s cook, but even an Ooze gets tired of ‘creamed something-or-other’ after two weeks.

  .

  My vision slowly returned, and I felt around with my senses. Yup, I was definitely in my clone, and relaxing in its glass tank.

  “Hello? I’m here for a visit!” I called out as I created some tendrils and hoisted myself out of the transparent container.

  I looked around, not seeing anyone in Liliana’s room. I hopped onto her desk, careful not to nudge any of the papers scattered about. As I examined the contents of the desk I noticed that one of the stacks was all the class work that had piled up for me. I heaved a heavy sigh and reached out for a quill and some ink.

  That was how Liliana, Kine, and Clarabel found me when they walked inside.

  “Jelly, you’re back!” my owner cried as she scooped me up into a squishing hug.

  “Ah! Watch the quill, there’s still ink on it!” I warned as she cuddled me close to her chest.

  “Sorry, sorry, it’s just been so long since you’ve stopped by,” she said with a dusting of red on her cheeks. She carefully lowered me back onto the desk. I proceeded to put away the assignments I had finished in an orderly fashion before turning back to the trio of young women.

  “So, it’s been a while. And hello, Clarabel. Haven’t seen you around recently.”

  The granddaughter of Cathedral City’s pontifex nodded mutely, clearly uneasy being around me. I didn’t blame her, though.

  I had been tricked by Tilda into engaging with the noble girl in a prank war of sorts my first year at the Academy. The incognito vampire had played the two of us against each other in order to cover her own operations inside the Academy which culminated in Liliana being kidnapped and me killing her aunt who sought to use the princess of Roan in a magical ritual.

  I had not exactly made a friend out of Clarabel, nor had I really tried to patch things up with her afterwards before I left. But I did act politely and avoided making her uncomfortable whenever we were together. She was friends with my owner and Kine now. Rather close friends with the latter, if rumors were true.

  “So how are things going? Is the researching going well? I got your notes from Tywood, but have you observed anything new since then?”

  “Yes, there was an interesting event some time ago,” I began, and retold the story of when I’d drained my magic and gotten nursed back to health by a gathering of Oozes.

  While impressed and excited about this new information I did receive a harsh scolding from Liliana about reckless endangerment. Kine just looked disappointed in me and that cut even deeper than my princess’ words.

  “Anything else happen? Meet anyone interesting?” Liliana asked after her tirade was over. She sat down at the desk while Kine and Clarabel sat on the bed.

  “Well, I did meet a B-ranked adventurer. Yorrik ‘Twin Fang’ Vastonne is travelling with me,” I mentioned. While I spoke I returned to my tall stack of homework. My multitasking skills were highly honed by this point so talking and writing were simple enough to do at once.

  My owner’s expression became excited and she leaned in. “Really? What’s he like?”

  “Kind,” I said after thinking it over. “Not unlike an older brother. He’s put up with my stand-offish nature better than some of the others. Plus, he’s got loads of adventuring experience and is happy to share it.”

  “T
hat’s great, Jelly! I’m glad you’ve made a friend,” Liliana said cheerfully. “Does he know about your true form?”

  I wobbled side to side to emulate a shake of the head. “No, he doesn’t.”

  The princess pouted in disappointment. “You’ll never make close friends if you don’t trust each other. Tell me: do you really think this man would think less of you for being an Ooze?”

  “I think he would be more annoyed that I hid the truth for so long,” I guessed.

  “Think about doing so. At the end of your quest, at the very least,” Kine suggested and I sighed before bobbing up and down.

  “Alright, I’ll consider it,” I said. “I suppose having two people know wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

  “I’m proud of you for trying to overcome the trauma of Norhelm,” Liliana said joyfully. “I have to admit, I don’t know if I could recover so easily from it, but the reason Kine, Rosa, and I keep pushing for you to come to terms with the event is because we only want you to be happy with who you are, not what other people may think.”

  Her heartfelt relief at my slow but steady recovery filled me with inner peace and tingles of joy.

  I put down my quill and hopped into my owner’s lap and let myself be petted. I caught a glimpse of Kine’s jealous face and decided I would let her pet me later.

  “I have some questions,” Clarabel said, her right hand raised as if it was a classroom. Such a dutiful girl.

  “What are they?” I inquired in between rumbling purrs as I was stroked and rubbed.

  “First, what exactly was this ‘Norhelm’ incident anyways? You keep mentioning it as something that traumatized you and made you unwilling to trust people with knowledge you are an Ooze.”

  “It’s not a pleasant memory for me, but long story short, I was passing by a village in the north of Varia early on in my days traveling alone and they needed help. They couldn’t afford a request from the Adventurer’s Guild so I helped them out for free. But, in the process of saving them, I was found out to be a monster by a villager.”