Hopeful

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  Besides, he’d decided long ago that he would bear the responsibility of tending to Kaylene’s needs.

  Mary Kate had a whole class of students to look after. Though he was disappointed about her efforts so far, Junior knew he should give her another opportunity to do everything he’d hoped she would.

  And if she didn’t? He supposed he would once again push aside his own interests and concentrate on Kaylene’s. One day, he knew, she would be grown up and wouldn’t need him to fight her battles anymore. But for now? She deserved the best he had.

  chapter seven

  Mary Kate waited a full twenty minutes after Kaylene and her brother left, then quickly got her things together and locked up. She had to get out of her classroom or she was going to feel like the walls were closing on her. Being in a one-room schoolhouse for eight hours could do that to a girl.

  That said, she surely did not want to go straight home to her apartment. Things were too empty there. And quiet.

  But, unfortunately, she had few other places in mind to go. Even though she’d been in Sugarcreek almost two months, she still felt as if she didn’t fit in.

  She would have thought things would have been better by now.

  So far, her only really good friend was Miriam Zehr. And though Miriam was wonderful, Mary Kate would have been lying if she said that she was used to having only one girlfriend.

  Back in Millersburg, things had been a lot different. She’d been close to her parents and all of her friends. She always had a busy social calendar. Often, her mother would chide her for never making time for her chores. Or for not taking time to simply enjoy the day.

  Now, she had too much time to do both.

  The streets of Sugarcreek were busy. Kids were riding bikes and walking down the sidewalks. The ones from the English schools wore big backpacks heavy with textbooks. Mothers were walking with them, or window-shopping. Other men and women—both Amish and English—were darting in and out of buildings, obviously trying to get their errands done in an efficient way.

  In the center of it all was the Grabers’ store. Mrs. Graber was standing in the doorway talking to some customers. When Mary Kate drew near, the lady motioned her over just as the customers departed.

  “Good day to you, Mary Kate. How was your day at the school?”

  “Eventful,” she replied with a smile.

  “Kinner have a way of keeping things bright and busy for sure.” She smiled, though the light didn’t quite reach her eyes.

  “Is everything all right?”

  “Me? Oh, jah.” After glancing into the doorway, she sat down on one of the rocking chairs that were displayed on the porch.

  Mary Kate sat down, too. “Are you sure?”

  “I apologize. It’s just that . . . well, we’re experiencing a bit of a hardship in our family. My daughter Judith just had a miscarriage, you see.”

  “I am truly sorry.”

  “Me, too,” Mrs. Graber said with a sigh. “Usually, I wouldn’t be mentioning such things, but I’m terribly worried about her.” She looked at her more closely. “And, if you don’t mind me saying so, there’s something about you that makes me think that maybe you’ve experienced hardship a time or two.”

  “Jah. That is true. I’ve, ah, had my share of difficult times.” Mary Kate didn’t want to disclose what had happened to her in Millersburg. After all, she’d come to Sugarcreek to try to forget everything.

  “Have your troubles passed?”

  “For the most part.” Mary Kate had a feeling Mrs. Graber was looking for a bit of reassurance, for a way to remind herself that the troubles her daughter was facing would one day soon pass onto happier times.

  For herself, Judith’s tragedy was a good reminder that she wasn’t the only person with pain in her past. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “What could you do?”

  “Do you need help in the store? I could help out on the weekends if you’re shorthanded.”

  “That’s mighty kind of you, but I think we’ll be all right. I’ve got a lot of kinner, you know. If we need help, I’ll ask them to lend a hand. But I do thank you for the offer, Mary Kate.”

  After sharing a smile, they both stood up. “Well, I suppose I’d best get back inside. But thank you for visiting with me, dear. I feel better now that I got some of my worries off my chest.”

  “I’m glad you trusted me. And don’t worry, I won’t mention this to a soul.”

  Mrs. Graber looked at her shrewdly. “I never imagined you would, child. To me, you seem like the kind of girl who can keep a secret. Come back soon, Mary Kate. It’s just about caramel-apple season. Next time you stop by, we’ll save one for you.”

  “Thank you. And don’t forget to ask me to work if you need help.”

  “I won’t. You reminded me that it’s only right and good to ask for help. I sometimes forget that.”

  “I sometimes forget that, too,” Mary Kate murmured to herself as she walked on. She felt lighter, too. It was amazing how offering to help another person was just what she needed to brighten her day.

  She was still thinking about that when she noticed a few teenagers leaving the new ice cream store in town, The Sugarcreek Scoop. Making a decision, she walked in and ordered a cone.

  Helping others definitely did brighten her day. But ice cream helped, too.

  Miriam had never liked working on Saturdays.

  Beyond her obvious difficulty with getting up in the mornings, the Saturday morning crowd at the Sugarcreek Inn was rarely made up of locals or regulars. Instead, most of the customers were tourists, some who were eager to spend more than an hour enjoying a leisurely breakfast . . . and others who wanted their food as quickly as possible so they could explore Sugarcreek and shop. Miriam was constantly attempting to either encourage diners to depart a little faster . . . or to deliver food as quickly as a server at a fast-food restaurant.

  The unevenness of it made her a little crazy.

  However, to her consternation, she seemed to be the only one who minded the scattered weekend crowd. Mrs. Kent was always simply happy for the customers. And the other girls didn’t much care who they waited on, as long as they left a decent tip.

  As she went to take the order of a man sitting by himself at one of the back tables, she paused. He seemed to be nervous, twiddling his thumbs, and glancing around in an uneasy manner.

  As she strode over to his booth, she found herself curious. He was Amish, but she’d certainly never seen him around town. Clean-shaven and blessed with slightly wavy light brown hair and matching eyes, his posture was what set him apart, at least by her estimation. He was straight and tall. Almost regal-like. Or like a soldier, she decided.

  Yes, he had a certain way about him.

  “Do you know what you’d like for breakfast?” she asked a little hesitantly once she approached his table.

  He pointed to the most popular choice on the menu, the Sugarcreek Inn Special. “I’ll take that.”

  “What kind of eggs and toast?”

  As he told her and she wrote it all down, she couldn’t help but notice that he was starting to look even more upset.

  She liked to think that she could handle most anyone with ease. “Sir, are you all right?” she asked. “Is anything the matter?”

  “What? Oh, jah. It’s just that I was looking for someone I thought would be here.”

  Ah. Now it all made sense. “Did you need another menu? Or, would you like me to wait on your order?”

  He looked like he was going to consider it for a time, but then abruptly shook his head. “I don’t think so.” His voice hardened. “I thought she would have walked by, but I guess I was wrong. I’ll go ahead and eat now.”

  His anger, just brewing on the edge of his voice, brought back her slight sense of unease.

  So much so, she was tempted to ask who he was looking for. But of course, that was none of her business. “I’ll be right back with your breakfast.”

  He nodded before turn
ing back to the window.

  There was a story about this man, Miriam decided as she walked back to the kitchen. She hoped the woman he was waiting for showed up soon. She’d love to see what kind of woman would have a man like him on pins and needles.

  After delivering another table’s breakfasts, the man’s order was ready. She picked up his plate in the kitchen, then approached him again. When she was about halfway across the restaurant, he turned and watched her approach.

  His lips curved slightly when she placed the plate in front of him. “This looks delicious.”

  She smiled back. “I hope you will enjoy it.”

  “I bet I will.” When he caught her eye, his gaze warmed and some of his discontent seemed to lift. “What is your name?”

  “My nohma?”

  “Jah. I mean, you have no name badge.”

  “It’s Miriam. I mean, I am Miriam.”

  “Miriam, thanks for your smile. You’ve made a difficult morning a whole lot better.”

  His direct stare brought her up a bit short. She was so used to being overlooked and, still smarting over Junior’s visit, her self-confidence had reached a new low.

  She should be feeling pleased that a man as handsome as he was showing her any interest.

  But there was something about him that made her wary. And because of that, she stepped backward, nodded politely, then turned away. Perhaps she was being silly. Perhaps her imagination was working overtime. Maybe he was nothing unusual.

  But there was something about him that felt that way.

  She spent the next half hour taking orders, bringing checks, and refreshing coffees. All the while, the stranger by the window ate methodically, most of the time staring out at the groups of pedestrians walking by.

  Every once in a while, he would glance her way. His gaze would turn piercing and she would feel a little flattered. Such vanity embarrassed her, but she supposed her reaction was only natural.

  When he set his silverware down and leaned back, she checked in on him again. “I hope you enjoyed your breakfast?”

  “It was gut.”

  Setting his check on the table, she said, “You pay up front.”

  “I’ll do that. Thank you again, Miriam.”

  “You’re welcome.” Mainly for something to say, she said, “Maybe I’ll see you again soon.”

  “Oh, I’ll be back. I’m sure of that.” He met her gaze. This time, there was no hint of a smile in his eyes. Instead, he looked at her intently, almost as if he knew a secret that she didn’t.

  Any pleasure she’d felt from his attention vanished. He was a bit too strange for her to feel comfortable around. Strange enough that she hoped he wouldn’t return anytime soon. She had enough problems without wondering about his.

  chapter eight

  After Miriam got off work at two in the afternoon, she gathered up the stack of magazines she’d picked up at the library and walked down Main Street to Mary Kate’s tiny apartment above the old Ace Hardware store. It had closed six months ago.

  When Miriam had first realized Mary Kate lived there, she’d commented that she would be a little afraid to live above a vacant store. In addition, the building was tucked away from everything. The easiest way to get to Mary Kate’s apartment was to walk up the alley from Main. The alley was narrow and run-down.

  Most folks in town figured that the alleyway was the reason the store hadn’t done too well . . . and why no one had opened up another shop since.

  Mary Kate had laughed at her suspicions, though, saying she liked the privacy.

  After catching up for a few minutes, they sprawled on her floor, sipping Cokes and flipping through old issues of Better Homes & Gardens.

  The two of them loved looking at the magazines, at photos of their dream kitchens, and reading the travel section of the magazine and imagining the kinds of adventures they could have one day.

  Supposedly, they were looking at gardening and cooking ideas. What they were really doing, though, was relaxing after a long week.

  “Aren’t you so glad it’s the weekend?” Mary Kate asked.

  Thinking about Sunday’s lunch, where she was going to have to find a way for them to sit with Junior Beiler, Miriam shrugged. “Jah. Though I really haven’t had much of a weekend yet. I always work on Saturday mornings, remember?”

  “Sorry. I’m just so glad to have a break from that classroom. Some days, it’s all I can do not to start counting weeks until I get off for Christmas. I really need to get away.”

  “Come now, your school year only started a few weeks ago. And you told me you spent a few weeks in Indiana before you moved here.” Mary Kate had gone to visit her married sister in Shipshewana, Indiana. They’d visited the famous flea market, and spent long, lazy afternoons piecing together a quilt. The idea of having such an amount of time to relax had made Miriam jealous.

  “It wasn’t long enough.” Closing the magazine she was reading, Mary Kate sighed. “I don’t even know if Christmas vacation is going to be a long enough break.”

  Miriam studied her friend, noticing for the first time that she was looking serious. “Teaching school can’t be that bad. I thought you liked it. Most women would.”

  For a moment, Mary Kate looked like she was considering how to respond. “I like the kinner, but I am learning that teaching in a one-room schoolhouse is not where my heart lies. I always feel like it’s not my calling. That there’s something else that I should be doing, but it’s just out of my reach.” She paused before continuing. “Sometimes I’ve found myself looking out the windows of the schoolhouse and counting the hours until the end of the day with as much anticipation as the students.”

  Miriam winced. “That’s not good.”

  “I know.” Mary Kate’s green eyes turned shadowed. “I wish I felt different about my job. I’ve been praying about it, too. Surely God wouldn’t have blessed me with this job if he didn’t want me to succeed, right?”

  Miriam wasn’t sure about that. Lately, she’d actually begun to stop looking toward God to answer all her questions. She was tired of all her unanswered prayers about His plans for her life.

  “Well, the Scripture does say that we’re supposed to give all our worries to him,” she murmured. Then, feeling bad about feeling lost herself, she said, “Actually, I’ve been having a lot of those same thoughts about my job at the restaurant.”

  “Truly?”

  Miriam nodded. “I’ve been working at the Sugarcreek Inn for five years now. Though I like most everything about it, sometimes I yearn for a break.” Flipping the pages of the magazine some more, she added, “I just wish I had a long vacation to look forward to like you do.”

  “I could help you plan something. You should take some time off, too.”

  “I would, if I thought I could.” But she couldn’t, of course. Her cousin Amanda’s wedding was coming up in November. Just the other day, her mother asked her to consider taking the whole week off for Amanda’s wedding. Though it was hard, Miriam had stayed firm in her decision to work instead. If she took time off, she knew what would happen. She would become the wedding’s worker bee, sewing this, organizing that.

  Amanda would have been very appreciative, but Miriam also knew her efforts would be mostly overlooked in the midst of all the excitement.

  After the wedding was over, the reception wagon had gone back to the rental company, and the food had been eaten, Miriam knew she would return to work no more rested than when she’d left.

  And probably even a bit depressed, too. It was hard seeing so many of her friends and family find love, get engaged and married, all while she was waiting for the Lord to finally decide that it was her turn.

  As she glanced at Mary Kate, she swallowed hard. Maybe the Lord had given her a real friend and she hadn’t even seen what a blessing Mary Kate had become in her life. Mary Kate was her age and single, too.

  For the first time in a long while, Miriam was able to simply hang out with a friend and not feel like a third whe
el. That was how she usually felt with her friends who were married.

  Flipping open another magazine, Mary Kate pointed to a vacation picture. In it, a pair of English girls were sitting on beach blankets next to a swimming pool. They were sipping iced tea and wore oversize sunglasses. “Look at this pair, Miriam. When the school year is over, I might go to Pinecraft.” Brightening, she said, “You ought to come with me. Just think of how much fun we’d have at the beach!”

  It did sound tempting. Sort of. “You’re not afraid to go so far away?”

  She shook her head. “Florida isn’t that far away. Sometimes I don’t even think it’s far enough.” Reaching out, she squeezed Miriam’s hand. “Please think about coming with me. We could stay in a little condo on the beach. It would be wunderbaar.”

  “Maybe.” But as she imagined staying in a vacation condo with her vivacious friend, Miriam wasn’t so sure it would be the best time for her. Mary Kate was very pretty. Though she supposed she shouldn’t worry about her vanity, sometimes Miriam feared she looked even plainer and chubbier when standing next to her lovely friend.

  “Only maybe?” Her brows rose.

  Not wanting to admit her private insecurities, Miriam said, “You sound as if you already know you will have a good time. Why is that? Do you have friends there?”

  “No. I . . . I am just anxious to leave Ohio.”

  Anxious? Miriam’s interest was piqued. “Why are you so anxious? You just got here!”

  “No reason.” Her shadows returned. “Well, there is a reason, but it’s nothing that I want to talk about.”

  “Are you sure? I’m a good listener.”

  “I’m positive. Besides, I’d much rather talk about you.”

  “Me? There’s nothing to say about me.” Besides, she’d just been brushed off rather ungracefully. She wanted to know more about why Mary Kate would be so anxious to leave the area.

  “Are you sure?” Pushing the magazine to one side, Mary Kate gazed at her with concern. “You forget that I know you pretty well. There’s something going on, isn’t there? Something happened and you’re not happy.”