Discovering Beauty

by Robyn Peterman

Guiding him to me, I felt the head of his cock enter me. Gasping in pleasure, I lifted my hips and silently begged for more.

  “Tell me what you want,” he rasped into my ear.

  “You,” I moaned. “I want you.”

  “You’ve got me, baby,” he said as he thrust into me, burying himself to the hilt.

  His hands moved to my ass so he could hold me exactly where he wanted me and I was totally on board. He made me feel so good I was having a hard time keeping my heart to myself. I was ready to hand it to him on a platter. I knew he didn’t want my heart, but he already had it. I felt whole with this broken man and it was more erotic than the sex act itself.

  “So fucking perfect,” Carter ground out as his hips began a lazy rhythm of filling me and teasing me.

  I was falling apart in the best way possible and I tried to memorize every single moment.

  “I’m close,” he said as his eyes went unfocused with lust and the speed of his thrusts increased. “Come with me, Georgia.”

  He didn’t have to ask twice.

  My back arched to meet his body, thrust for gorgeous thrust. His muscles were taut and his lips were pressed together in concentration.

  “Kiss me,” I begged on a gasp.

  And he did. My insides contracted in an orgasm so powerful I thought I might faint. Carter swore as his body went rigid with pleasure.

  “Jesus Christ,” he hissed as he continued to come.

  I held him like a vise inside me and wanted this moment to last forever. But all good and beautiful things must come to an end.

  “Never in my life,” he mumbled as he buried his face in my neck.

  Our bodies were slick with sweat. Little aftershocks rolled through me as he stayed inside my body.

  “Perfect,” he whispered.

  His lips found mine and he pressed little kisses all over my face. For a badass, broken killer, he was as soft and as romantic as they came.

  “Nope. You’re perfect,” I said with a giggle.

  “Noooo, you are,” he shot back with a wide grin, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. “How about we take a little water break and then try that again?”

  “Seriously?” I asked.

  His smirk of pure male ego was almost as sexy as his foreplay skills. “Very seriously. Completely and totally seriously. Deadly serious.”

  Holding up my hand to stop his serious talk, I laughed. “I’m in.”

  “I was hoping you would say that.”

  “And tomorrow I’ll bake you a cake,” I promised.

  “I’m in,” he shot back with a wide smile.

  “I was hoping you would say that,” I repeated his words and then squealed when he grabbed me and tickled me. This was the best night of my life and I was going to savor every single moment.

  Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed, but tonight was.

  It was the hardest decision I’d ever made in my life, but it was also the easiest.

  Watching Carter sleep in the predawn hours was something I would carry with me to my grave. He looked so innocent and carefree in slumber. No signs of his painful past. No evidence of the hurt he’d endured in his life.

  What I really wanted to do was crawl back into the bed and fall asleep in his strong arms, but I was in love with him. And because I loved him, I had to leave.

  I went into the mode of methodical, super soldier killer freak that I’d been trained to be as I silently searched the house and found what I needed. The most important was the landmine remote, but Nancy had left it on the kitchen counter. Pocketing it, I found my laptop, duffle, and a few remote cameras I borrowed from Caleb. After gathering my stash, I went back to Carter’s room. It was lucky that Caleb hadn’t blown the vehicle sky high yet—also good I knew how to hot wire a car considering we hadn’t borrowed the keys.

  If Carter woke, I could say I was indulging in my addiction to Candy Crush and then remake my plans, but it was very clear he was a heavy sleeper. Part of me wished he wasn’t—wished that he would wake up and stop me from what I was about to do. But most of me was grateful that he would live to see many more days in his life—even if they were without me.

  Tex having problems getting us out of the country was very telling. Tex never had problems from what I knew about him. The fact that he did meant the government surveillance for us was enormous—and therefore as dangerous as hell on fire. I comforted myself with the thought that Carter was with people who loved him and whom he loved back. He would be okay… I hoped. Honestly, I had no clue if his feelings matched mine. While I wanted him to have fallen for me as well, it would be far better if what we had shared had only been sex for him.

  Hacking into the CIA’s main board was easy. Tex was good. Caleb was good, but I was outstanding. I knew I could end the careers of Sabrina Wenbo and Don Jarred. That would be easy and most certainly a kind of living death for the egomaniacal monsters, but I wanted more.

  I wanted to end their lives and if I died in the process, so be it. If they had me, I was sure they would leave Carter alone. Plus, if I was out of the picture it would be easier for Tex to get Carter safely out of the country.

  Uploading all the damning material, the test results and the death count of the innocents who had been murdered at the hands of Wenbo and Jarred took me all of ten minutes. It was going straight to the top. Even if I died before I could kill the bastards, it would be over for them. I was sure the CIA would handle the punishment severely—not as severely as I would—but I still accomplished my goal of stopping the atrocities.

  My next move was riskier and I had to figure out a safe unpopulated place to put the rest of my plan into motion, but after a few tries I’d hit pay dirt. It would take the monsters about two hours by plane and then another forty-five minutes by car. And just because I was nice, I booked their plane tickets and rented their car—with their own personal credit cards. Hacking freakin’ rocked.

  While I was at it, I emptied their many legal and illegal bank accounts into a list of underfunded charities for children and smiled as I did it. I was sorely tempted to dig into Carter’s past to understand more about him, but I didn’t need to know what had happened before. I knew him right now and I loved the man he had become. He might look in the mirror and see a monster, but I could see him clearly. He was as beautiful on the inside as he was on the outside. If I’d given him hope of living a somewhat normal life, then I could die a happy woman.

  I also dumped all of my bank accounts into Carter’s. Dead women didn’t need money and mine was spread all over the world. But now it was deposited into Carter’s account. That made me happy in the midst of my heart being torn to sheds.

  Focus. No time for emotion.

  It would take me an hour and a half to reach my destination by car. I’d get there in plenty of time to have it ready for my guests. Alerting them to the plan and stipulations was kind of fun. They’d run my life for two horrific years. It was time for me to be the boss.

  I’d specified they had to come alone. Although it didn’t really matter one way or the other. They were done. I just hoped to see their faces when they realized it. However, there was a very good chance they’d arrive alone. Their sense of entitlement and ego and the fact the CIA was unaware of their barbaric practices gave me hope that I could have an intimate meet, greet and kill with the two people who had turned me into an animal.

  Was I even an animal anymore? Even without the fangs and claws, I would always be an abomination. But Carter had made me feel like a beautiful, desirable woman—not an atrocity and for that I would always be grateful. I knew now that arousal didn’t cause the change anymore, but I wondered if extreme, dangerous circumstances would…

  Only time would tell me that.

  I could feel my heart tearing as I watched his chest slowly rise and fall in sleep. Carter’s outer beauty was obvious, but his inner beauty was what I’d fallen for. For a small moment, I was paralyzed and almost started to panic, but remembering why I was doing what I was doing gave
me peace.

  I had two more things to do before I left—steal a vial of poison from Nancy’s lab and write a note to the beautiful killer that had permanently stolen my heart.

  There were no happy endings for beasts. I just prayed that there would be a happy ending for my Beauty.

  Chapter Eleven

  Carter

  “God damn it,” I shouted as I picked up a chair and threw it across the room, smashing a lamp, vase, and painting in my fury. “She was supposed to make me a cake today.”

  I sounded like a lunatic, but I was so unhinged I couldn’t see straight.

  “Stop it,” Nancy snapped as she righted the chair and tried to make sense of all the broken pieces of glass and pottery scattered on the floor. “Being a jackass is going to get you nowhere fast and it’s pissing me off. What did the note say?”

  I paced the room and tried to tamp down the rage that was threatening to consume me. I wasn’t winning. “How could she be so fucking stupid? I can’t protect her if I can’t find her,” I snarled.

  “What did the note say?” Nancy ground out through clenched teeth as she moved her laptop to safety. “Any clues to where she went?”

  “None,” I growled, wanting to take the house down with my bare hands.

  “And?” she pressed, ignoring my rage.

  I paused and closed my eyes. “She said she loved me,” I answered my sister in a hollow tone that sounded dead to my own ears. “That she loved every broken and fucking beautiful piece of me. Why would she do this?”

  Nancy leaned against the wall and pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose. “It’s right there in the note. You just answered your own question. She’s letting you go because she loves you. If you want my opinion, Georgia’s as fucked up as you are.”

  “I don’t want your opinion,” I snapped feeling like the world was dropping out from under me. Was this was love was supposed to feel like? If it was, it was fucking awful. “And that is the stupidest goddamned reason I’ve ever heard.”

  Why in the hell hadn’t I told her what I was feeling? Would she have stayed if she knew? Why hadn’t I trusted her with my cold dead heart? I didn’t deserve her love and God knew she shouldn’t want mine, but I’d be damned if I was going to let her walk right into her death.

  “There’s a vial of poison missing from your lab,” Caleb informed Nancy as he joined us in the den. “And the SUV you stole is gone.”

  “Borrowed,” I corrected him with a muttered curse.

  “How did she get through the landmines?” Nancy asked, perplexed.

  “Georgia is a fucking super soldier,” I yelled and kicked a leather ottoman across the room. “She’s been trained not to miss anything. She probably saw you reset the mines with the remote.”

  “That was from three hundred yards away,” Caleb pointed out.

  Nancy shook her head and sighed. “I forget she’s been enhanced. Even though the ability to shift has probably left her, her senses are still off the charts. Sabrina Wenbo and Don Jarred fucked with her DNA to the point of no return.”

  “What about her lifespan?” Caleb asked.

  Nancy shrugged. “I’d have to do more testing to figure that out. Actually,” my sister said thoughtfully, “she might just accomplish what she’s set out to do.”

  “And she might not,” I said, pacing the den like a caged tiger. “I have to find her.”

  “Why?” Nancy demanded. “She left you because she loves you and wants you to live. You’re not going to respect that?”

  “Fuck no.”

  “Why?” Nancy challenged as Caleb’s eyebrows shot up at her persistence. “Why won’t you respect that?”

  I wanted to deck my sister. I would never lay a hand on her in violence while I had life in me, but I really wanted to kill her right now. Instead of acting on my base instinct, I ripped the flat screen TV off the wall and hurled it out of the bay window.

  Caleb watched my violence with interest and dismay. “Shit,” he muttered. “That was a great TV.”

  Ignoring him, I turned on my sister. She stood her ground and stared at me with her arms crossed casually over her chest and waited.

  “Because I love her,” I said so softly she had to lean in to hear me.

  “What was that?” she pushed.

  “I said, I love her,” I snapped. “I’m the worst thing in the world for her, but she is the best thing in mine… I love her.”

  “That’s all I wanted to know,” Nancy said, putting her arms around me and hugging me tight. “Go get her.”

  “I don’t know how—don’t know where the fuck she went,” I admitted, breaking the embrace, dropping to the couch and letting my head fall to my hands.

  “Actually you do,” Caleb said.

  I glanced up at my brilliant brother and narrowed my eyes. “I do?”

  “She was with Tex for a couple of weeks. Right?”

  I nodded, not following.

  Caleb smiled and walked over to where I sat. “I’m gonna put money down that Tex chipped her for location. It’s something he does to keep the ones he cares for safe.”

  I barely waited for Caleb to finish talking. I was on the phone to Tex so fast it made my head spin. My smile grew as Tex confirmed what Caleb had surmised.

  “Bingo,” I said, showing my brother and sister. “I’ve got her.”

  “We’ve got her,” Nancy said. “Or rather, we’ve got your back if you want us.”

  I stared at my siblings—the two people who looked so much like me it was eerie. I’d always worked alone… maybe that was my problem.

  Nodding slowly, I bit down on my bottom lip. “Are you sure? This could get seriously ugly.”

  “Ugly is good,” Caleb said, grinning from ear to ear. “Let me grab some explosives and my laptop.”

  “I want to get an antidote to the poison Georgia grabbed. I have a bad feeling about this,” Nancy said sprinting from the room.

  I refused to think about losing. It wasn’t acceptable. Arming myself to the teeth, I grabbed the keys to Caleb’s SUV and centered myself.

  “Georgia from Georgia, you are in big trouble,” I whispered. “After I kiss you senseless, I’m going to yell at you for a few days—or weeks—or years. You’d just better stay the fuck alive for me to do it.”

  A song came to my mind as I made my way to the truck.

  Love hurts.

  Love scars.

  Love wounds and marks.

  But it also was something I’d realized very recently I didn’t want to live without—no matter how badly it hurt.

  Chapter Twelve

  Georgia

  The enormous barn was empty and the surrounding area was deserted. It was perfect for what I needed. I expected the monsters within the half hour. Strapping my weapons securely to my body and making sure the poison and the camera remote were safely tucked in my pocket, I looked around for items that would pass for chairs. I wanted my guests to feel like I’d gone to a little trouble to make them feel welcome.

  It was an old, long abandoned tobacco warehouse. The dust was thick and the rotting wooden tobacco stakes littered the dirt floor. About five thousand square feet of filthy nothing—very appropriate for the meeting. It reminded me of an enormous version of my cage.

  Looking down at the black combat pants, long sleeved black t-shirt and incredible shit kickers I was wearing, I felt a small twinge of guilt. I had borrowed Nancy’s clothes, but I’d left a wad of cash in her closet to replace them. I’d chosen black on purpose. No longer was I the prisoner in a dirty white hospital gown. I was now the woman in black—a trained, CIA fucked up killing machine. A monster.

  Whatever.

  I’d made it all the way here and there was no backing out now.

  Thinking of Carter made me physically ache, but what I was doing was important and right. Right wasn’t always easy. Sometimes it hurt. This time it was devastating, but I smiled through the agony knowing he would live and I was about to stop the fuckers who’d destr
oyed me from hurting anyone else. What I refused to think about was what Carter did when he realized I was gone, but that I would never know. Although it did make me smile a little to think there might be a few more holes in the wall.

  Sitting down on a grimy wooden crate, I placed my back against the wall. Didn’t matter if they entered from the door at the south end of the building or the door at the north. I would see them.

  “Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do,” I whispered and then began to softly sing The Lonely Goatherd. My yodeling sucked, but no one could hear me. Amazingly, it calmed my nerves and made me feel closer to Carter. It still boggled my mind and would always delight me that The Sound of Music was the movie he’d chosen to numb his mind from pain. I wondered who his favorite character was and regretted not asking him. I would hazard a guess that it was the Captain.

  My other regret was not knowing his horrible middle name. I knew it had to start with an N. Maybe it was Ned or Nate… no, those were too normal, if Caleb’s middle name was anything to go by. Norman was not good—at all.

  Sunlight peeked through the dilapidated slats in the barn, creating a flickering hazy light. It would be enough light for Wenbo and Jarred to see. I had no problem. My vision in the darkness was almost better than my vision in broad daylight thanks to my vicious benefactors.

  My body tensed and I closed my eyes for a brief second as I scented them. Their fear smelled putrid and sweet—like three day old garbage from a bakery on a ninety-degree day in August. I pictured Carter in my mind and blew a kiss to the air hoping he would know how much I loved him and how sorry I was to leave him.

  They entered through the south end of the building, and just as I’d suspected, they’d come alone. Fine by me. I’d had time to set up cameras that I’d borrowed from Caleb all throughout the barn. They were hidden well and the video set to be delivered to the CIA and Tex when I pressed the remote in my pocket. Caleb was a very smart guy, and I would have loved to play with his toys, but this would have to do.