[Cutthroat Business 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set

by Jenna Bennett

  “I was hoping to have more time,” Todd said again, more to himself than to me, “but if he’s back...” He shook his head, then looked up. Reached across the table and took my hand. And squeezed it until I looked at him.

  “Oh, God,” I said faintly.

  Todd smiled. “I’m sure you’ve guessed what I’m going to ask you, Savannah. I’ve loved you since we were teenagers. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  Chapter Eleven

  I’m not sure how I got out of there, although I’m pretty sure I got out without committing myself. I know I didn’t say yes. And I don’t think I nodded or smiled. I managed to stammer a thank-you and tell him how honored I was, but that I needed to think about it. That’s how we were told to handle unwanted proposals in finishing school in Charleston. And Todd probably knew it, because I watched his face congeal when I didn’t immediately jump up and throw my arms around his neck.

  “Is it Collier?” he asked.

  “How could you even think that?”

  “I don’t know, Savannah,” Todd said. “I used to think I knew you, but lately I’m not so sure. You’ve made some choices that I do not understand and frankly cannot condone.”

  My voice would have trembled if I’d let it. I refused to. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not entirely sure what you’re talking about, but it sounds like I’ve disappointed you, and if that’s the case, I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not disappointed, Savannah,” Todd said, looking disappointed, “I’m just worried. About you. And about the choices you’ve made. The people you associate with. The fact that you’ve chosen to stay in Nashville on your own instead of coming home to Sweetwater to your family, where people love you and will protect you and care for you.”

  “I’m twenty seven years old,” I said. “I’m not going to move back in with my mother!”

  I remembered, a second too late, that Todd had moved back in with his dad. It was a totally different situation, though. Todd had divorced the unsuitable Jolynn and moved back to his hometown, where he had a great job as an assistant D.A. and no need at all to feel ashamed of himself and his accomplishments. I had failed my husband, who had sought solace elsewhere, and I would have had to crawl back to Sweetwater with my tail between my legs, to live on charity in my mother’s house and probably go to work for Audrey, since I’d never finished my education and had nothing to fall back on. It wasn’t the same thing at all.

  “Move in with me,” Todd said.

  I smiled, trying to make it a joke. “You, me, and your dad? I don’t think so.”

  “Dad can move in with your mother,” Todd said. “They’re together half the time anyway. Or maybe she can move in with him, and we can take over the mansion.” His eyes turned excited at the idea of owning the Martin mansion.

  “Mother is never going to leave the mansion. And what do you mean, she can move in with your dad? How can they...” And then lightning struck and I gaped at him. “My mother and your father are involved?”

  “For a while now,” Todd confirmed.

  “I had no idea.” Although it surely did explain a few things. Like that night a couple of months ago when I’d seen them have dinner right here, at the Wayside Inn, and then it had looked like Mother’s bed was never slept in. I’d explained it to myself as my mother just being obsessively neat and having put it in apple-pie order the next morning, but now that I knew...

  “Never mind that,” Todd said impatiently. “I want to marry you, Savannah. I want to love you and cherish you and take care of you—”

  ...and wrap me in cotton wool and put me on a shelf.

  “I told you,” I said, “I have to think about it. I’m not sure I’m ready to get remarried.”

  He looked like I’d kicked him, and I reached across the table to put my hand over his for a second. “It isn’t you, Todd. If I were going to marry anyone, I’d be marrying you. It’s just that I don’t know if I’m ready to marry anyone yet. It’s only been two years, and being Bradley’s wife was...”

  “I understand, Savannah,” Todd interrupted, without—I thought—understanding much at all. In fairness to him, he couldn’t; I hadn’t told him any of the details of my marriage. He knew that Bradley had fallen in love with Shelby while he and I were still married, and I’m sure Todd had guessed that Bradley might have been unfaithful, but I’d never told him anything about the other problems we’d had. “A failed marriage is always a difficult thing. I know; I went through my own with Jolynn. But this would be different. I love you.”

  “Didn’t you love Jolynn?”

  “I thought I did,” Todd said, “but I’ve never truly loved anyone but you, Savannah.”

  He gazed at me soulfully across the table, reaching for my hand again. I felt like a giant millstone was being tied around my neck.

  He loved me.

  Well, of course he did, I told myself. That’s why he wanted to marry me. He loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Marriage made sense.

  It made sense to me too, if it came to that. Like I’d told him, if I wanted to marry anyone, I’d marry Todd. Who else could I marry? The only other man in my life was Rafe, and even if he miraculously did want to get married, which he didn’t, it wasn’t like I could marry him.

  I just wasn’t ready to say yes to Todd.

  “I need to think about it,” I told him again. “It isn’t you. I swear. And of course it isn’t Rafe. You can’t seriously believe that I’d want to marry Rafe Collier. Or that I’d pick him over you.”

  Todd didn’t answer.

  “It’s me. It’s all me. I just need some time to think. To make sure I’m ready.”

  “Take all the time you need,” Todd said. What else could he say, after all? But I could tell he was disappointed. I’m sure he’d expected, or at least hoped, that I’d be overcome with emotion and if not say yes on the spot, at least tell him I loved him too.

  I couldn’t blame him for the disappointment. I couldn’t in good conscience say the words, though, when I wasn’t sure I did. I wasn’t sure I even knew exactly what it meant.

  I wasn’t brought up to consider love as a particular requisite of marriage. When Bradley proposed, I’d said yes because he was young, handsome, Southern, able to take care of me, and because it was the first proposal I’d gotten. I was twenty three and not getting any younger. And I wanted an excuse to drop out of law school, because I wasn’t enjoying myself. I didn’t really have a reason to say no. Marrying Bradley—or someone like him—was what I was supposed to do. It was what Mother had done when Dad asked her. And I’d never doubted that my mother and father loved one another. She had told me that they did. That love came after marriage, from a lifetime of being together. Of being committed to one another, to building a life together, to the same values and beliefs.

  We’d all been brought up the same way, all three of us. Catherine and Jonathan seemed happy enough, I thought, as did Dix and Sheila. Catherine had been quite enamored with Jonathan when they first met, but of course he was a Yankee, so things were a little different for them. Dix and Sheila were more of the traditional Southern couple: two young, healthy, attractive people from two old families getting married and living happily ever after; without a whole lot of passion, perhaps, but with what seemed like a perfectly nice relationship. They got along well, they didn’t argue, they had two beautiful little girls...

  And if I married Todd, I would have the same thing. A comfortable, comforting relationship with a man who loved me, and who would provide for me and protect me and love me and cherish me. A man whom I liked in return, and whom, if I didn’t feel like I loved him right now, I would grow to love in time.

  So was it wrong for me to wish for more than that? A little passion? And maybe some clarity? Because if I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I loved him, surely I had no business thinking about marrying him.

  We’d arrived at the Inn in separate cars, Todd directly from Chattanooga, and he walked me to mine. O
nce there, he took me in his arms and kissed me. His mouth was warm and soft, and his arms tight around my body. His lean body was hard under the tailored gray suit, and I leaned in and kissed him back, doing my best to put some feeling into it.

  When he let me go, Todd was breathing faster. “I’ll be waiting, Savannah.” He gave me one last long look before he turned on his heel. I watched him walk away. And then I got in my car and drove out of the parking lot and onto the Columbia Highway.

  I wasn’t thinking too clearly, or I would have gone back to Mother’s house for the night. Or at least to pick up my suitcase and the rest of my things. I didn’t. I got in the car and started driving. Once I hit Interstate 65, I turned north and drove some more, through the dark and silence. It wasn’t but an hour later that I saw the lighted twin towers of the Batman building above the trees in the distance. Downtown Nashville. Home, sweet home.

  The driveway of 101 Potsdam Street was empty, although the porch light was turned on. I tried not to feel like I was standing in a spotlight when I knocked on the door and waited. Feeling like an idiot in my satin dress and strappy silver shoes. Wondering if I didn’t look like one, as well.

  At first I didn’t think anyone would answer. Maybe Rafe had done the smart thing and taken himself and Mrs. Jenkins off somewhere safe, until whatever was going on blew over and Marquita’s murder was solved and the Hispanic man had moved on to another victim. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering with a mixture of cold and nerves, and considered leaving. Considered where I might go, with Officer Slater presumably still in my apartment.

  The office? A motel? Back to Sweetwater? It was only ten thirty; I could be back there and in bed by midnight.

  I was just about to turn and retrace my steps to the car when the door opened. Soundlessly. Seemingly on its own.

  I swallowed. “Rafe?”

  No one answered. The door stopped moving, halfway open. I peered into the darkness. “Mrs. Jenkins? Anyone?”

  There was still no response. I moved a little closer, my heart thudding in my chest. “Hello?”

  And then I lost my breath when an arm shot through the opening, grabbed me, and yanked me inside. The door slammed shut as I tumbled against a hard, male body.

  For a second neither of us moved. Then...

  “Have you lost your mind?” Rafe asked, his voice rough as he set me upright. “What’re you doing here this time of night? Dressed like that?”

  I tried to fill my lungs, but couldn’t quite manage. Between the surprise and fear—fading now—the tight dress and the nearness of him, I was feeling lightheaded.

  “C’mon.” He led the way down the hallway toward the kitchen, moving like a cat through the darkness. I stumbled after.

  The light was on in the kitchen, and it felt homey and friendly. A small TV was playing on the counter—basketball—and a bottle of beer was open on the kitchen table next to a bag of salted cashews. He glanced at me. “Hungry?”

  I shook my head. “I had dinner.”

  “Course.” Those dark eyes moved over me. Snagged here and there on the way. My hair, my mouth, the pulse beating at the base of my throat, the top of the dress, the bottom of the dress, and then lingering in the same places coming back in the other direction. He ended by looking into my eyes, his own flat and black, giving nothing away. “Date with Satterfield?”

  I nodded.

  “Nice dress.” He turned away. Grabbed the bottle of beer and lifted it. When he put it down again, it was empty.

  I tore my eyes away from the movement of his throat, the muscles in his upper arm, tight under the sleeve of the blue T-shirt. “I bought it this morning. Thinking it might make him propose.”

  For a second I wasn’t sure he’d answer. Then he did. As usual not by responding to what I’d said, but what I had taken care not to say. “Yesterday morning scare you that much?”

  Trust him to hit the nail squarely on the head.

  I shrugged. Yes. And no. Considering that while I was trying the dress on, I’d also been thinking about him taking it off me.

  And what on earth was wrong with me, that I could be thinking about Todd proposing and Rafe undressing me almost in the same breath?

  He went to the fridge, pulled out another beer. Held one up with a question on his face.

  I shook my head. “I had wine with dinner.”

  He nodded. Put one of the bottles back and closed the refrigerator door. Then he opened the other bottle and poured half the contents down his throat before he asked, “So how did it go?”

  “What?” I had to refocus my eyes again. “Oh, dinner? Fine.”

  “He propose?”

  “He did. Yes.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “I didn’t say yes.” Of course, I didn’t say no, either.

  “Why go to all the trouble if you were gonna turn him down?” He gestured to the ‘trouble’—my dress and hair—with the bottle.

  “I didn’t know I was going to turn him down until...” I hesitated, “he asked.”

  He put the bottle on the table and folded his arms, long legs in snug jeans crossed at the ankles. The pale blue T-shirt had a washed-out Corona logo on the chest, and it had been soft when I fell against him earlier. Almost as soft as the skin underneath. The skin I’d had my hands on just a day and a half ago.

  I looked away, but not fast enough, because I could see his lips curve.

  He didn’t comment, though. “What happened?” he asked instead, his voice almost warm.

  His eyes were warm too, and a little amused. “I came to my senses,” I said.

  “Meaning?”

  “Marrying Todd because I’m afraid of you seems rash.”

  Something moved in his eyes. “Why are you afraid of me?”

  “Because you—” ...do things to me, and make me feel things, that no one else does. You make me question everything I’ve always known to be true and make me want things I know I can’t have.

  I couldn’t tell him any of that, though, so I just shook my head. “I’m not. Not the way you think. And it isn’t really about you. It’s about Todd. I looked at him sitting there, across the table, and I just... couldn’t.”

  Rafe nodded. “I know the feeling.”

  “I’m sure you do.” There must have been dozens of women up through the years who had wanted him to commit, when he didn’t want to. “And that reminds me, I’ve seen a couple of your old girlfriends recently. Elspeth Caulfield today. And Yvonne McCoy yesterday. She said to give her a call sometime. She gave me her number to give to you, but I left it in Sweetwater.”

  “On purpose?”

  “Of course not. Why would I do that?”

  He smiled. “Did Elspeth tell me to call her, too?”

  “I didn’t mention that I’d seen you,” I said. “She’s weird. I met her in your old bedroom in the trailer in the Bog.”

  Both brows shot up this time. “My bedroom?”

  “The one with the green rug and the naked girl on the wall, right?”

  He nodded. “I don’t recall her being naked. Totally.”

  “She might as well have been, considering the size of the... fabric scraps she had on.”

  “Not too different from the fabric scraps I imagine you might have on under there,” Rafe said, with another look at my dress. Before I could react, he’d continued, “What were you doing in my bedroom? Both of you?”

  “I don’t know about Elspeth, but I was curious. The door was open, so I went in.”

  He stuck his hands in his pockets. I wondered if he was fighting an impulse to shake me until my teeth rattled. Or some other impulse. “What were you doing in the Bog in the first place? Not your kinda place, is it?”

  “Hardly. I wanted to see where Marquita’s car was found.”

  “Playing Nancy Drew again?”

  I shrugged.

  “Find any clues?”

  “None. Unless the naked girl on your wall is a clue. Or Elspeth.”

  “I would
n’t think so,” Rafe said. “The naked girl’s been on my wall since I was sixteen. And Elspeth—”

  “She’s been hanging around since you were sixteen, too. Or close to it.”

  He smiled. “Can we go back to Satterfield for a minute? I wanna make sure I understand something. He asked you to marry him, and you turned him down?”

  “Not exactly. I didn’t say no. Although I didn’t say yes, either.”

  “Why?”

  “I already told you. Marrying him because I’m...”

  “Yeah, we covered that. Except you’re not afraid of me. Or so you say.”

  “I’m not.” Not the way he thought.

  He shifted his stance. “I just can’t wrap my head around this, darlin’. Satterfield’s gainfully employed, well-off, polite, pure-bred...” He was ticking items off on his fingers as he listed them, “and he knows what fork to use at dinner. He’s just the kind of guy a nice girl like you’s supposed to marry, ain’t he?”

  “Maybe I’m not such a nice girl,” I said. Muttered, rather. When he didn’t answer, I snuck a peek at him under my lashes. He quirked a brow.

  “You trying to tell me something, darlin’?”

  I hesitated. “I’m not sure what I’m trying to do,” I admitted eventually. “I just know that I looked at him, and I couldn’t go through with it. See, I did what I was supposed to do when I married Bradley. I was twenty three, and I thought I knew how life worked. I bought into the whole fairytale, the one about ‘gainfully employed, well-off, polite’... I did everything I was supposed to do, and look where it got me. I’m divorced, I’m alone, I’m terrified of trying and failing again. I’m afraid that if I marry Todd, it’ll be more of the same.”

  “Satterfield won’t cheat on you,” Rafe said. “He worships the ground you walk on.”

  I nodded. “He says he loves me. And I don’t know why that should sound like a prison sentence, but it does.”

  The words were just pouring out, and I had no idea how to stop them. “I’m afraid he’ll use it as an excuse to suffocate me. From the very best of intentions, of course. He wants to keep me safe, so he’ll try to keep me from doing anything, just so nothing happens to me.”