by Tessa Layne
A soft sigh escaped her. “More.” Her hand came to his head.
He licked again, going deeper this time, tasting more of her sweetness, and making curling motions with his tongue as he swept up. When he reached her clit he sealed his mouth over it, applying suction as he lapped at the hardened bud.
Haley’s fingers clenched in his hair. “Yessssss. Oh Axe. That feels so good.”
Truth.
He couldn’t get enough of her silky, sex-slicked folds. The taste of her filled him. So much better than the preview he’d enjoyed at the restaurant. He curved his arms under her knees and pulled on her hips, widening her. When he began again, he used the flat of his tongue, moving in slow concentric circles. Her hips began to undulate with his movements, and her legs trembled.
He slipped one, then two fingers into her slick, tight heat, scissoring as he slowly pressed in and out. Haley’s head fell back and she let out a little tight moan giving his head a squeeze, and then shattered, crying out. He continued his movements, helping her ride out the waves as her breathing slowed. He couldn’t not tell her. His feelings were too big.
Turning his head, he kissed the inside of her thigh and sat back on his heels, releasing the buttons on his shirt. “Haley, before we… I want to tell you this so you know it’s not just the heat of the moment.”
She raised her head, eyes glazed pools of arousal. “You keep calling me Haley. You’ve never done that.”
She was right. Somehow it had started slipping out. “Because you’re so much more than ‘Coop’ to me. I love you, Haley. I think a part of me never stopped. So it was easy… to pick right back up.”
His pulse thrummed at rocket speed. She stilled, staring at him intensely.
“I love everything about you. The way your laugh sounds like music, the way your eyes light up at a joke. I love touching you – tasting you. The way you feel when I’m inside you, and the little noises you make right before you come.”
There.
He’d said it.
Whatever happened between them now, at least he could look himself in the mirror and know he hadn’t shied away from letting her know how he felt from the get-go.
Silence hung between them.
Her face softened, but her eyes… Her eyes told him she was struggling with something. He reached for her, stroking up her thighs. “Sweetheart? What is it? Did I say too much?”
She gave him a sad smile and shook her head, cupping his cheek. “I love you, Axe, you great big softie.”
Delight burst inside him, launching butterflies of joy in a thousand different directions. But she bit her lip, looking totally unsure of herself, and concern washed over him. “Whatever it is. I swear, we can fix it.” No matter what it was, he’d make it right for her.
She shook her head. “You can’t fix this, Axe… can’t fix me.”
A little tendril of fear hooked through him. “Just tell me, Haley. Please.”
The look she gave him shredded him. Bleak eyes and a face contorted in pain. “Axel, somebody died because of me.”
CHAPTER 19
What?
Somebody died because of her? “I don’t understand.” Haley wouldn’t hurt a fly. Sure, she was crazy, and sometimes reckless. But only with herself.
She took in a shaky breath, blew it out, and gave him a weak smile. “I guess since we’re getting confessional…” She scrunched her eyes together so two vertical lines appeared above the bridge of her nose. Haley looked so fragile and alone, sitting there at the edge of the bed.
“Here.” Axel stood, toed off his boots, then crawled onto the bed, propping himself against the headboard. “Come here.” He patted the spot next to him.
She scooted over and nestled herself into the crook of his arm, avoiding his gaze. He drew the back of a finger down her cheek. “Whatever it is Haley, you can tell me.”
She took another deep breath and fisted her hand against his jeans. “I’ve never told a soul, except my therapist.”
Therapist?
Holy shit.
A knot of worry tightened just beneath his sternum. “When did you see a therapist?”
“About a year after I got my Ph.D., the Moore tornadoes hit, and I started to have panic attacks.” She glanced back and shrugged. “Kind of a bad thing for a tornado scientist to develop.”
Axel gave her a little squeeze, at a loss for words.
“So, I was a foster kid in Moore in ’99. When the first round of Moore tornadoes hit.”
Oh.
Axel didn’t pay much attention to the news, but even he knew about the devastating tornadoes that had ripped apart Moore, Oklahoma, when he was a teenager. “Okay. So what happened?”
“There are a few things you need to know before I tell you. You know that my childhood was… rough.”
“Yeah.” She’d mentioned in passing one night that she’d aged out of foster care, and he’d gathered that she’d been bounced around a bunch. But stupidly, he’d never dug deeper than that. Trusting instead, that she’d volunteer information if she wanted to talk. “Haley, I’m sorry. I should have–”
“Shhh. Stop.” She shook her head. “I never talked about my childhood with anyone. By the time I was twelve, I’d been in fifteen foster homes in six years, and I’d already tried to run away twice.”
Axel’s stomach sank like a stone. It wasn’t hard to imagine her as a skinny twelve-year old with a pinched face and suspicious eyes. No wonder she was tough as nails. At least on the outside.
“When I was twelve, they sent me to a woman named Mama June. Mama June was a big lady. Heavy set and tough. She didn’t fall for any of the usual foster kid tricks. The first week sucked. I was miserable. I’d never been in a home where people cared what I did or how I behaved. But then we had a breakthrough. She sat me down after I’d been particularly awful one afternoon and told me how special I was. How I could be whatever I wanted, but I’d never get there with a giant chip on my shoulder. She… showed me how to be better. And she gave me hugs every day after that.”
Haley’s shoulder’s hunched and when she spoke again, her voice wavered. “I always hoped she’d adopt me… keep me.”
A giant lump lodged at the base of Axel’s throat, making it hard to breathe. He couldn’t imagine life without his large, crazy, loud family. They could have been that family for her. Should have been that family for her. But he’d been a dumbshit and his father had been so closed.
“I wasn’t the only kid Mama June looked after. At the time of the tornadoes, there were two other little girls with us, aged four and five. When the sirens blew, Mama June sent me to the bathtub with the girls, who were very afraid. Mama June went to stand on the porch to watch the sky.”
Haley stopped, taking another deep breath, clearly lost in the memory. Axel rubbed her back reassuringly, not sure what else to do and not wanting her to stop telling her story.
“A few… a few minutes before we got hit, I looked down and realized I’d forgotten to grab our sneakers, and I hopped out of the tub. I ran down the hall and Mama June stopped me. Yelled at me to get back with the kids. She’d grab the shoes. The sky was so dark, we could hardly see. I could hear the tornado coming. It was deafening. Like screaming banshees. She gave me a push and said she’d be right there and to shut the door behind me.”
Axel’s stomach lurched sickeningly. Haley didn’t have to say what happened next. He already knew. Her shoulders started to shake and he pulled her onto his lap, folding her into a tight embrace. “She didn’t make it did she?” he asked quietly, and she shook her head against him, letting out a half sob.
“Right after I got in the tub and covered the girls, the house blew apart. The roof collapsed on us and we were trapped in there for over six hours. They found her in the hall.” She raised her head and looked at him, eyes red and swollen, tears on her cheeks. “It should have been me, Axe. Nobody needed me,” she cried, voice thick with grief.
She buried her head again, tears wetting his chest a
s the sobs shook her body. Axel’s throat squeezed tight. “Don’t say that. I need you, sweetheart,” he murmured into her hair.
He’d never felt so helpless in his life. Haley never cried. And to see her like this hit him like a two-by-four to the chest. He squeezed her and murmured in her ear, talking to her like he would a scared filly. It was the best he could do, but he wasn’t sure it was enough. She’d spent nearly half her life blaming herself, and nobody had been there for her to help her pick up the pieces. No wonder she’d been crazy in college. And he hadn’t helped. He’d encouraged her wild behavior in the name of fun. Fuck him.
After a while, the shaking stopped and she lifted her head again. “Way to ruin the mood, huh?”
Haley’s face was splotchy and red, but he’d never seen anything more beautiful. She was soft and vulnerable. Completely unguarded. She’d given him a huge gift, trusting him like this. He’d do his best not to fuck it up.
“You’re beautiful.” He kissed her on the nose. “Even when you ugly cry.”
She laughed a little, mouth curving slightly. “I’m a total buzzkill.”
“Nope. It’s possible you made me love you more.”
She looked worried again. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Shush.”
Haley shook her head, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Look at me. I’m thirty-two and terrified. I don’t know how to be with anyone. And I’m terrified to risk it because I can’t take a repeat.”
“What would your therapist say?”
Wonder and admiration flashed across her face. “Since when did you get all wise?”
“Since I’ve lived the last ten years of my life on a pretty surface level and it’s gotten me nowhere, and nothing that I want.” Her eyes registered surprise at his admission. He framed her face with his hands. “Haley. Don’t shut me out because you’re afraid. Don’t miss out on the rich life I’m sure Mama June wanted you to have because of a misplaced sense of guilt.”
Pain flashed in her eyes again. “It’s because of her, you know,” she murmured softly. “Why I work so hard. I don’t want anyone to go through what I did.”
Axel nodded, and kissed her softly. “I know. And I promise you, we can just enjoy this… being together. No strings.”
Ha.
That might have been a huge whopper, but it was what she needed to hear. He had so many strings wound up in her, he’d never get free. But he was willing to wait. One thing he knew for certain – if he had any say at all, Haley wouldn’t be walking out of his life a second time.
She reached up, running her palm across his jaw, eyes soft, dark orbs in the dim light. “Thank you… for this.” She kissed the corner of his mouth, and he canted his head to meet hers on the second one. Love for her burned brightly in his chest.
She shifted, straddling his legs, and capturing his face between her hands, deepened their kiss, her tongue teasing lightly at his lips. He groaned low and opened his mouth to her, sliding his tongue against hers and letting the sensation twist through him to settle in his balls. How could he resist her when she was soft and sweet like this? Why would he want to?
And then she caressed his cock through his jeans. He rocked into her wanting to feel it again, that ache, that tightness that only she gave him. Her fingers struggled with his belt, then the button, and something in him finally unraveled when she pulled down the zipper and slipped her hand under his waistband to fist his cock.
He moaned into her mouth and thrust through her tight grip, growing harder with each upward stroke.
“You make me so hot, Axe,” she murmured into his mouth. “Crazy hot.”
Her words acted like gasoline on fire, and with a grunt, he thrust his hips up, lifting them both and pushed down his jeans. Her hands were there with his, helping him. And when he settled them, he fit her wet pussy right on him. She wriggled against his cock, slicking him with her arousal.
He found the hem of her dress and slipped his hands under, tracing the soft curves of her ass as she moved against him, working up her spine until he reached the barrier of her bra. No barriers tonight. Tonight they bared everything – body and soul. He released the bra with a flick of his fingers, brushing it out of the way so he could slide his hands across her ribs to cup her full, heavy breasts. “You’re so soft. So perfect,” he muttered, sucking on a spot at her collarbone that had her gasping for more. He rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, giving a little tug and then a pinch.
“Oh yes, Axe. Do that again.”
It would be so easy to thrust into her. Bury himself in her heat, but he wanted more of the sweet torture of anticipation.
“I said, do that again,” she panted. He did one better, thrusting his hips through her wetness as he pinched both nipples. “There’s so much I want to do to you,” her breath was coming in short puffs as her hips moved with him.
“Do it, baby. I’m all yours,”
She lifted her head, eyes dark and glazed with lust. And then she grinned. A slow, sexy, ‘be careful what you just asked for’ grin. The kind of grin that made him go all hot and gooey inside. She raised herself onto her knees, hitched up her dress, then slowly pulled it off, presenting herself to him.
Her gorgeous full tits were right at eye level where he could see her rosy buds, pink and puffy from his attention. His cock twitched against his belly as he reached to cup her again. Axel leaned forward to feast. Sliding the flat of his tongue over her nipple, then around it, before licking to the valley between them. She braced herself with one hand against his shoulder, making a noise in the back of her throat. He licked her again, this time closing his mouth around the stiff peak and grazing it with his teeth before suckling it, hard.
She cried out, slipping a hand between her legs.
Oh fuck, that was hot. Haley getting herself off while he brought her to the brink. He brought a hand to hers, following her fingers with his own, spreading her wetness through her folds, while moving his mouth between her nipples. He gently rubbed over her clit, first going slow and light, then flicking and pressing. “Jesus, you’re wet,” he murmured.
“You do that to me.”
And then she seized. A shudder wracked her body, and she cried out throwing her head back, as another spasm shook her. The ache in his own body was profound, but seeing her come undone was the biggest turn-on.
She let out a shuddering breath and raised her head, eyes heavy and glassy in the aftermath of her release. “You weren’t supposed to do that.” She gave him a satisfied smile, clearly not complaining.
Axel grinned back, fighting the urge to thump his chest in pride. “Sorry, not sorry.”
She licked her lips hungrily. “It is so your turn.” Haley pressed her palms against him, rubbing up and pushing his shirt off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it, bare to her.
She ran her tongue along his collarbone, giving a little nip at the hollow in his throat, before kissing her way to his nipple and catching it between her teeth. The jolt sizzled all the way to his balls, and he shuddered.
“You like that?” she breathed, setting goosebumps across his skin.
He grunted something incoherent in response, so she did the same thing to the other one, sending another jolt sizzling through him. Need for her spiraled through him. She was like oxygen for his heart. It couldn’t function without her. In the most elemental way, she completed him.
She licked down his middle to the soft part of his belly, to just above where his throbbing cock bounced on his pelvis. She gave a little sigh of satisfaction as she bent her head, her silky dark hair lightly brushing his belly sending goosebumps cascading down his body. Haley positioned herself between his legs and stroked the insides of his thighs, pressing and pulling the flesh, and bringing her mouth to the sensitive spot at the top of his leg. She kissed and licked, avoiding the place he wanted her mouth most. He palmed her head, letting her soft tresses flow over his fingers. And then, she cupped his balls, pulling gently. “You’re kill
ing me, Coop.” The strangled sound that came out wasn’t his voice.
Her answer was a husky laugh and another pull. He rocked his hips, groaning. That movement tugged deep inside of him, winding him up to a fever pitch. When he thought he couldn’t take it any more, she traced a finger around the plump head of his cock, smearing the drops of pre-come, and sliding back down his rigid length. “Like that?”
“Hell, yes,” he answered through gritted teeth, loving and hating how she was drawing this out.
Then she swiped her tongue over the same place, doing with her mouth what she had just done with her hand. “Haley…” He was so close to losing it.
This time, she took all of him into her hot little mouth, moaning with delight as he bumped the back of her throat, and sucking lightly. Stars needled his eyes. With a groan and a heave, he pulled her up and flipped her on her back, straddling over her. Her eyes were bright with laughter.
“Not this time,” he said roughly. “This time we’re fucking.” He positioned himself at her slick, swollen opening and thrust hard and fast, burying himself in her heat. She cried out, squeezing his hips with her thighs.
“Yes, Axe. I love it. Love you.”
Her words spurred him on and he thrust and pulled, bracing himself on his elbows and lacing his fingers with hers. Fire raced up the back of his legs, swirling tight in his gut, then spiraling to his head and bursting in a million bright lights. He shouted her name with a roar as wave after wave ripped through him. Shattering him. Her cries mixed with his as she followed him over the edge, moving against him as they tumbled into sweet oblivion.
CHAPTER 20
Axel paused at the door of the bedroom. Haley lay half twisted in the sheets, a long silky limb peeking out. Awareness stirred in his bones. God, he’d love nothing more than to crawl back into bed and tumble her under the covers. But this morning he was taking the interns to visit with Hope again. She’d just come back from another natural horsemanship training and was eager to share what she’d learned.
