by Tessa Layne
As much as he wanted to wake her with kisses, he should let Haley sleep. They’d both been short on z’s lately. Haley’s confession three weeks ago had been a turning point for them, and now they were spending all their time making up for ten years of lost time. Only it was better than when they’d been kids in college. Deeper. Axel wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, but he liked it. Felt closer to her than he’d ever felt to anyone. Although a part of him was still a little bit scared to trust it… trust that she wouldn’t bolt at the first sign of difficulty. He couldn’t let himself think about what might come next. Or what he’d do if she decided that she was going home at the end of her assignment.
“Hey there, handsome,” she called sleepily from the bed. “Where you headed today?”
“Taking the interns to learn some more from Hope. She got back from Cali last night.”
She stretched and yawned. “Sounds good. I need to get online and look at the overnight weather balloon soundings. There was talk about putting us in the risk zone today. Can you be ready to go out this afternoon?”
He nodded as he crossed the room in three steps, and sat on the edge of the bed. “You going to try to intercept?” Someone from her team had brought the repaired drone back the other day, and it was back in the car waiting for deployment.
“Someone will. It depends on how the setup looks.” She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat, sheet falling to her waist. Axel’s attention dropped to her full breasts. He brushed a finger across the satiny top, enjoying the goosebumps that flared in its wake. “You sure know how to distract a man,” he said gruffly.
“Mmmm,” she purred, looping her arms behind his neck. “I could say the same for you.” She pulled him in for a kiss, tongue teasing across his lower lip. “Sure you don’t have a few more minutes?” she murmured as she rained little kisses across his jaw.
His cock had more than a few minutes. He groaned as she ran a hand up the inside of his thigh. “Later. I promise. Gunn’s already been ribbing me for being late to chores these last few weeks.”
“I know. A man’s work is never done,” she teased.
“In bed, or on a ranch.” He grinned remembering how this exchange had been a running joke with them years ago. He pressed a kiss into her temple, inhaling her sweet scent of floral shampoo, and that extra something uniquely Haley. “See you sometime after lunch?”
She nodded, giving him a little push on the shoulder. “Get outta here before I tackle you and pin you down.”
“Promise?” He waggled his eyebrows at her and stood to leave. At the door he paused and turned. “Oh, ma sent down a package you ordered from Amazon. It’s out there on the table.”
“Thanks. And Axe?”
She smile she gave him lit him up to his toes. “Yeah?”
“Have fun. You’re great with those kids.”
Her praise warmed him from the inside out. Couldn’t it be like this always? Good morning kisses and words of encouragement? A partnership based on love and mutual respect? He felt like a better man around Haley. More confident, more capable. Able to do anything he put his mind to, including talking to his dad about implementing some of Hope’s training tactics with their new horses.
Axel stepped out into the warm morning air with a spring in his step. A little breeze danced and teased as he made his way to the training pen where Hope and the interns were waiting for him. But it wasn’t enough to slake the sweat which had begun to run down the back of his neck. Yeah, it definitely felt like the type of morning that would morph into afternoon storms.
By the time they broke for lunch, everyone was covered with a fine layer of sweat and dirt. He’d need a shower before he left with Coop to intercept any storms that developed. His mouth curved at the thought of getting her into the shower with him. Just the other morning they’d lingered so long there, the water ran cold.
“That’s the smile of a man goofy-eyed for his lady,” Hope teased as she looped the lead line through her hand.
So. Busted.
Was it that obvious to everyone?
Or was it just that Hope was newly married and in love? “Why do you say that?”
Hope rolled her eyes. “For starters, it’s not often – as in ever – that I see my big brother staring off into space with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.”
Oh.
“It’s nice to see you happy for a change, Axe.”
“But I’m always happy.”
“Not like this you aren’t. You’re downright giddy.” Hope shot him a grin over her shoulder as she gathered the other small obstacles scattered around the pen. “It’s sweet.”
Axel picked up a large crate and started for the small shed he’d constructed for Hope’s training tools. Hope followed, arms full.
“What I want to know,” she said when she caught up with Axel at the shed door, “is what you plan on doing about it?”
That was the million dollar question Axel didn’t have an answer for. He leaned back against the wall while Hope bustled in and out, placing her equipment on the hooks and shelves inside. “So tell me something. How did you know Ben was the one?”
Hope gave a little laugh. “When I kept walking into walls every time I thought about him.”
“Be serious. How’d you know?”
Hope’s expression grew sober, and she leaned back against the door jamb. “When it no longer mattered what you or anyone else thought about us being together.”
“Wait. So you worried about what we thought?” She’d always seemed so sure of herself where Ben was concerned. Even when they’d had a serious misunderstanding, Axel could see she still loved him.
Hope let out an exasperated groan. “Duh. You might make my life a living hell at times with your teasing, but jeez, Axe. Our two families had been feuding until a year ago. Of course I was worried. But ultimately, I realized that it was time for me to make my own family. And you would either support that or you wouldn’t. And if you wouldn’t, then all the mumbo-jumbo you men spout about family being forever was just a bunch of hooey.”
Axel kicked at the ground while that sank in. They’d grown up with the idea that family was forever, no matter what. But he’d never tested what that meant the way Hope had. He’d always been too afraid to find out.
Hope continued. “It really hit home after I fessed up about getting kicked out of school. You know how Pops cares so much about our impeccable reputation, and I felt like I’d brought so much shame to the family name. I was convinced he’d disown me.”
“No way.” Shock ricocheted through him. They’d all been stunned when Hope had confessed why she’d been kicked out of her veterinary program. And Pops had been fit to be tied. But after the initial surprise had worn off, they’d all rallied around Hope.
Axel hadn’t even considered for a second that Hope should somehow be cut off. In fact, he was thrilled she’d stuck around Prairie and now lived a stone’s throw away on the Sinclaire spread. He loved being able to see her nearly every day. Those years she’d lived in Kentucky… a little part of him had been lonely for her.
“Way.” She cocked her head, studying him intently. “You know, I think Haley’s good for you. You’re more… you.”
“You mean more of an asshole?”
“Shut-up and be serious for half a sec. You carry yourself differently. With more authority. I can see it in the pen too – the way the horses respond to you. You’re more… connected.”
The urge to confide in his sister overwhelmed him, and before Axel had a chance to reel the words back in, he blurted out. “Pops expects me to be his ‘yes’ man. Just take his orders without question. I-I feel like with the interns I’ve had a chance to be my own man. Figure out some things I’d really like to change around here.”
Hope’s eyes grew soft. “Where do you think you’d be today if you’d implemented your idea about raising Iberian Pigs?”
“You remember that?” It had been a passing idea he’d tossed out in a Christmas con
versation four or five years ago. “Given the price of imported Iberico, and with all the acorns in the river bottoms…” He shrugged, making a quick calculation. “Using the contacts the Sinclaires have with high-end restaurants, and promoting natural, humane methods of raising livestock… hard to say.” He shot her a grin. “I don’t think I’d be a millionaire, but I’d be doing okay. Better than okay with additional income streams.” The weight of that admission sank in. Maybe he should have pushed harder. “But I’d’ve had to leave the ranch… and I wasn’t ready. I love the ranch. It’s my home.”
“You know Pops is old fashioned. I think he needs to be challenged on his B.S.” Hope took a quick breath, hesitating. “He needs to retire from ranching. Even Gunn knows it. Gunn’s as anxious as you are to take the stables in a new direction.”
Axel fisted his hand against his thigh. “Gunn’s always been the golden boy. I’m sick of feeding my ideas to Gunn and having him run interference.”
“You think he likes that any more than you do?” Hope’s expression hardened. “It’s time for you to take the bull by the horns, brother dear. No more letting someone else fight your battles for you.”
His breath came hot and heavy. “That’s horse shit, Hope. No one’s fighting my battles.”
She raised an eyebrow and cocked her chin. “You sure?”
Was he?
How many times had he gone to his father with some idea or another only to be shot down? But how many more times had he just bypassed Eddie and gone straight to Gunn, pushing him to talk to their dad? Not once had he ever given Pops heavy pushback on an idea. He’d just rolled over and done what he was told in the name of keeping the family peace. Because deep down he’d rather be here and unhappy, than shunned and alone. But what if he was looking at it all wrong? What if Eddie had been waiting for him to push back this whole time?
CHAPTER 21
Haley’s hands shook as she reached for the dipstick she’d laid next to the sink in the bathroom. Her heart hammered against her ribs while her stomach kicked like a rabbit in a net. She was on the pill. This was just a precaution. Right?
Squeezing shut her eyes, she picked up the stick.
Sucking in a deep slow breath she counted. One, two, three. Then she breathed out, opening her eyes.
Two pink lines stared up at her from the space where only one was supposed to be. She blinked, checking again.
Still there. Two pink lines.
Pregnant.
A tiny little thrill of excitement skittered through Haley before being replaced by a tidal wave of panic.
Shit.
Shitshitshitshit.
She wasn’t supposed to get pregnant on the pill. Her hand skated to her belly.
“Oh my God.”
This complicated things. What was she supposed to tell Axe? She’d assured him she was on the pill. She put the stick back down by the sink and walked numbly into the living room, sitting on the couch.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. She couldn’t be a mother. She had no safety net. No family, except Axe’s. And knowing Axe, he’d offer to marry her tomorrow and ask her to stay here on the ranch. And she couldn’t do that. No matter how much she loved Axe.
Her whole body trembled. How could she be a good mother when she didn’t know the first thing about how to take care of another person? With the exception of Mama June, her life had been a series of parenting disasters. She barely remembered her own parents, and only dimly the various aunts and uncles before she’d finally been placed in protective care, most of which had been just as bad.
She stood, pacing in front of the mantle, shaking her hands and trying to slow her rapid breathing. A fierce protective sensation rushed through her, tingling her fingers. She’d never subject a child to the life she’d had. She’d figure this out the way she’d figured out every other difficult situation in her life – with guts and imagination.
She could do this. Heck, Mama June had been a single parent, more or less. There was daycare, and she knew CPARC had decent maternity leave.
And she’d make sure to bring the baby to the ranch. She wouldn’t leave Axe out of the equation. Unless he wanted to be left out.
Her stomach dropped to her toes at the thought. What if he kicked her out of the bunkhouse? What if he never wanted to see her again? Oh God… what if he sued for full custody? Haley pinched the bridge of her nose trying to rein in her out of control thoughts. This baby was going to have one, maybe two parents who loved it. And no matter what Axe felt when he found out, she would never regret this. Not for a second.
For a heart stopping moment, terror gripped her.
In spite of that, a little seed of something that felt a lot like hope took root in her heart. She was going to be a mother. And no matter what happened in future years, she could assure this being that he or she had been conceived in love.
Haley rubbed her hand over the lowest part of her belly again, a bubble of giddy laughter tumbling up her throat. She needed to go find Axe.
She skipped out the door and into the sticky heat. She’d start at the barn first. Someone was sure to be in the barn, and if it wasn’t Axe, whoever was there would know where to send her. A ripple of anxiety corkscrewed up her spine, and she glanced up at the sky as she made her way through the trees. She’d need to check the morning soundings once she sorted this out with Axe. The chatter all morning among the CPARC teams had been about which team to deploy for intercept and which for scouting. The front boundaries were converging just west of Prairie. There was enough fuel in the atmosphere today that the storms would be severe. The question was always where – or if – a tornado would drop. All they could do was guess and be ready to move.
The barn door stood open and Haley slipped in, taking a moment to adjust to the dimmer light. Eddie’s voice boomed through the space. “When are you going to let go of this harebrained notion? I already told Gunn, you need to be spending time on cutting costs, not coming up with more schemes.”
Oh dear.
Haley couldn’t see the men, but she was sure Eddie was arguing with Axel.
“Are you saying that what Hope’s doing is harebrained? I doubt she’d take kindly to that.” Axel’s voice bounced off the walls.
She should slip out before they noticed her. Axel wouldn’t want her here. But her feet refused to move. Axel spoke again, his voice full of excitement and passion. “Pops, you’ve always admitted Hope was the best trainer of the three of us. And no one in the region is offering the kind of training she is. It makes sense to contract with her to teach us, and join forces with her. We could bill ourselves as the only full service stable in the region employing natural horsemanship training.”
“What we need,” Eddie shot back. “Is more horses. This is the smallest our herd has been in over a decade.”
Axel’s voice was tight with frustration. “Yes pops. Because no one is buying horses. Our industry never recovered from the recession. We don’t change, we die. And look.”
There was a silence.
What was he up to?
Haley strained to see where they were, but couldn’t see without moving or bringing attention to herself.
Axel spoke again. “Look. I mocked up a page here. See how you can navigate everything from the phone?”
Haley’s pulse zoomed in her ears. This must be the webpage she’d seen Axel working on the other night. He’d been building mock-up webpages that were compatible with mobile devices. “No one’s carrying a laptop to the barn,” he’d said. “Everyone’s looking at everything on their phone.” He had a good point. And Haley secretly thought he was right about people wanting to retrain the animals they had. Horses were expensive, and much of the work on a ranch could be done with an ATV or other four-wheelers. Sure, there would always be a market for gentle horses that made good family pets, but the market was glutted. She’d been shocked and saddened when Axel had disclosed how many horses were killed every year simply because no one wanted to care for them anymore.
Eddie’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Enough of that marketing mumbo-jumbo. We don’t need to paint ourselves up.”
“We’re not–”
Eddie’s voice cut off Axel. “Hansen Stables has always had a stellar reputation. That’s enough.”
“Not when our business is down,” Axel shot back.
“If our business is down, then it’s up to you to cut costs.”
“Not if you want to grow, Pops. You need to reinvest strategically.”
Eddie’s voice grew cold. “I’ve successfully supported this family for decades. Put three kids plus a niece and nephew through college. And Maddie’s college wasn’t cheap. We’ve supported three families with this property. Don’t tell me I need to change what I’m doing. When you have that kind of success, then you can boss me.”
“Why am I still having to prove myself? My worth?” Axel exploded. “Fuck, Dad. I’m thirty-two. Quit trying to box me in and force me to be something I’m not. When was the last time you sat down and really looked at the books? We’ve been steadily losing money for a decade. I have good ideas. I’ve had good ideas for years. If we’d implemented even half of my ideas, our books would be a lot better and we’d be well on our way to supporting the next generation of Hansens. But no. I’ve kept listening to you. Doing it your way and keeping my mouth shut.”
Haley could tell by the tone of Axel’s voice, that he was on a roll. Letting out years of frustration. Pride surged through her. She knew how much it took for him to confront his father this way. Axel would never admit it, but he worshipped his father. Wanted his approval more than anything, and she’d always felt more than a little bad for him that he’d never received it.
Axel spoke again. “Hell, I let the love of my life walk away ten years ago because you told me she was just a hothead and would come back. That if she loved me she’d settle down and be a good ranch wife. Work beside me and support me the way ma supports you. And you know what?” His voice grew thick with emotion. “She didn’t.”
“Then she’s not the woman for you. You know your place is on the ranch. It always has been. And if you know what’s good for you, for us, you’ll let go of your crazy ideas and step up like Gunnar has.”
