Fast Forward

by Celeste O. Norfleet

  To tell the truth they weren’t all that bad. They made me laugh, mostly when they were driving Courtney crazy, which was all the time. She was forever yelling and threatening them. At times I actually made it worse by provoking them like now. I made another face at the bowl of mashed brains.

  “I don’t wanna eat this no more. It looks nasty,” Jr. said.

  “Me, too. No more. It’s nasty,” Jason said.

  “Y’all eat y’all food now,” Courtney snapped.

  They looked at me. I winked, and they broke up laughing. Courtney snapped her head up at me. I smiled nicely, and she rolled her eyes. The thing was, the boys listened to me more than they listened to her, and that always pissed her off.

  “So are you ready to tell me what you talked to Tubbs about?”

  “Freud mostly,” I said.

  “Who’s Tubbs?” Courtney asked.

  “Kenisha’s counselor at school set up an appointment for her to talk to a friend of hers. He’s a psychoanalyst.”

  “Wait, we’re paying for her to see a shrink now?”

  “I’m paying for my daughter to speak with a doctor,” James said pointedly.

  “Same thing. First she gotta go to that expensive private Hazelhurst Academy for Girls that cost a damn arm and a leg, then she takes dance classes in D.C. and now she gets to see a shrink. How much is that costing us?”

  “It doesn’t matter how much it’s costing me, Courtney.”

  “Hell, yeah it matters. What if I want the boys to take dance lessons or soccer or swimming lessons?”

  “Then they will—later—when they’re ready.”

  “See, that’s just wrong,” she complained raising her voice. “What you need to do is send her back down to D.C. with her grandmother so that we can get back to our lives. I’m tired of this half stepping you doing around here. She gets everything she wants, and now she got the boys not eating.”

  “How did I get the boys not to eat?” I asked.

  “You did something,” she accused. I looked at the boys and winked. They broke up laughing again.

  “See? See what I mean?”

  “Kenisha stop it. Courtney, chill,” Dad said. “She winked and made them laugh. What’s the big deal? They’re her brothers. They’re getting along. What’s wrong with that?”

  “You never see things my way anymore,” she complained.

  I winked again. The boys laughed and fell off the chairs. My dad and Courtney looked at me. “Sorry. Starburst, Skittles, sit upright and eat your stuff,” I said, exerting my control of the boys. They immediately sat back in the chairs and started eating again.

  “See, she got them to eat. That’s good, right?” Dad said.

  I tried so hard not to laugh. Courtney looked like she was ready to blow steam out of her ears. This was so much better than the first time I walked in and saw her playing queen of the manor in my mom’s house. I slapped her then, but I found a better way to piss her off. I was being nice.

  Courtney was pissed, but it had nothing to do with me or Tubbs or the boys not eating. She was mad ’cause she knew that more than likely my dad was stepping out on her with her girlfriend. My mom had been there, done that. So the argument started. She was yelling about money and how much she didn’t have, my dad was going on about how he gave her enough and my two half brothers were tossing spaghetti mush at each other. As usual I just watched the drama until I’d had enough, then went to my bedroom. Seriously, that was the best spaghetti dinner I never had.

  four

  No Big Surprise

  “When you make four right-hand turns, you wind up in the same spot you were in when you started. Okay, now what? I’ve been running so far and so much, faster and faster, that I found myself running in circles.”

  —MySpace.com

  Of course nothing ever turns out like we expect. After I left the hot and heavy argument between Courtney and my dad, then Courtney and the kids, then Courtney and my dad again, I studied then crashed. I dreamt about my mom and woke up almost late for school. I was in such a rush that I forgot to grab my trig book. Crap. I guess staying after wasn’t gonna happen.

  So first thing in the morning I’m sitting there with just my notebook without a clue. I’m usually really good at math, and algebra wasn’t bad at all. I actually understood it. Then I passed calculus with a B+ last year, but trig and the study of triangles was kicking my butt. Maybe I just wasn’t seeing it right. Sine, cosine, tangent, perpendicular, hypotenuse, adjacent. Get real, it’s a triangle. At least calculus had speed and motion. Whatever. Ninety minutes later, I breezed through U.S. history. No big deal.

  Friday morning English lit class, I was sitting there trying to act like I read the assigned chapters of Lysistrata. But having surfed and checked out Wikipedia, Spark-Notes, CliffsNotes and talking about it with Diamond and Jalisa, I got the general idea of the book. So I’m sitting there listening to the discussion and even answering a few questions when Chili walks in. I swear, everybody turned around to look at me. I ignored all the drama and just waited for class to be over.

  When the bell rang, I was the second one out the door. I dumped my history book in my locker, rolled my eyes at Regan and her girls then headed to lunch. I found Diamond on the way, and Jalisa was already in line getting her food. We sat together. I told them about trig, and they said they’d help so that was tight. After lunch, we sat outside chilling.

  “So what are you gonna do for your sixteenth birthday Sunday?” Diamond asked. I shrugged. I didn’t exactly forget about it. I just pushed it aside for the time being. “We can hang out,” she offered.

  “Why don’t we hang out at my house? I’ll get my mom to grill, and we can just sit out and chill—maybe check out a movie afterward.”

  “I don’t know. My dad might be doing something. I’ll let you know.” Actually I had no idea what I was going to do, or if my dad was even planning something. He didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. Since I’d be over at my grandmother’s house, I assumed he’d stop by there. At any rate, I didn’t want to talk about it.

  But before I could change the subject, we looked up as Chili Rodriguez walked by. We couldn’t help but see her baby bump. Yep, she was definitely showing now. Nobody said a word. Of course she wasn’t the first to get pregnant at sixteen, but I guess it was different when you actually know the person. I just looked at her. I couldn’t even imagine what she was about now. We hadn’t actually talked since the day I heard her leave a message on LaVon’s answering machine about him stepping up and taking care of his responsibilities.

  Man, that was some serious drama, but I handled it. Truth was, I was about done with him anyway. His drama had played out. All he wanted was to get with me, and I wasn’t ready for all that. When I called him on his crap, he swore that Chili went after him and that the baby wasn’t his. She wanted him to step up ’cause of his NBA prospects. It was like a daytime soap opera up in there. But I wasn’t about to be in their continuing saga. I left that alone quick.

  Later, I heard that both their parents were involved. Everybody was tossing accusations around. They had lawyers and doctors and even a DNA specialist. Crazy stuff. I’m just glad he and I never got together like that. Ruining my life over a minute of ohh-ahh is definitely not worth it. Beside, didn’t they ever hear about STDs? No way, hell, no, I’m waiting, period.

  So Chili walked by and eyed us, but we didn’t even go there. We just started talking about English lit class and Lysistrata. We were laughing about how the Greek men must have been shocked to come home to the ultimatum. Then the conversation shifted a few more times. When we started talking about going to Freeman for dance class Saturday morning, the bell rang. We split up and headed to class.

  French class was next for me. I knew it would be a breeze. Since the day was just about over, I figured all I had to do was chill and coast into the weekend. I was standing at my locker getting my stuff and looking for the French assignment I knew I completed last night when I heard Chili talking behi
nd me. I ignored her. She just wasn’t worth it.

  “What did you tell LaVon about me?” she asked again.

  Yeah, I knew the voice. Nobody had that baby voice like Chili. It was nerve-racking, slow with an almost lisp because she pouted her lips when she talked. She thought the guys liked it. Maybe they did. I always thought she sounded like Minnie Mouse on crack. But that’s just me.

  “I know you hear me talking to you, Kenisha. What did you tell LaVon about me?”

  “Chili, you and I have nothing to talk about,” I said, continuing to go through my locker looking for my French assignment.

  “He told me that y’all getting back together again,” she said.

  I rolled my eyes. I seriously didn’t need this drama, so I just kept doing what I was doing. I could tell that other students were stopping and waiting, expecting me to do something. But they’d have a hell of a wait ’cause I was going to just ignore her.

  “You always want what I got, always going after my leftovers. That’s why nobody like you now. You knew me and LaVon was tight. That’s why you jumped on him from the start. He wanted me, but you stepped up in his face. So what are you gonna do now?”

  I started laughing. She was talking fast, and I doubted anybody could even understand her. When she got excited or nervous, she’d talk a mile a minute. But, whatever, I had no intention of playing her game. The first warning bell rang, and I found my French assignment in my U.S. history notebook. I grabbed it, stuffed it in my class book and slammed my locker.

  “Don’t be laughing at me, skank. This shit ain’t funny.”

  I turned around and stared her up and down. She was just too pathetic. And I swear I couldn’t believe what she was wearing. Hazelhurst Academy for Girls had a strict dress code, but she was stepping out with her skirt hemmed up to her butt and a white shirt too tight and two sizes too small that made her fat boobs stick out like a couple of honeydew melons.

  “Your stupid girls ain’t here with you now, so you ain’t got nothing to say. Yeah, look, heifer, that’s right. I’m pregnant with LaVon’s baby, and he gonna take care of me all the way to the NBA. When he signs that contract, I’m gonna be right there with him.”

  “Look Chili, you want LaVon. I told you before, he’s all yours. Talk about leftovers. Take him, ’cause I sure don’t want him. And as for him signing that NBA contract right out of high school, I’d check that box later if I were you. He’s not getting anything. So the best you’d better hope for is to watch him playing basketball on the corner.”

  “You just mad ’cause I slept with him and you didn’t.”

  “Yeah, like I’m really mad about that,” I said sarcastically. A few of the girls standing around started laughing at that remark. “See, I still got my whole life ahead of me. No drama, no diapers, no baby and no LaVon. I think I got the better deal out of all this,” I said, then turned and walked away.

  “You are such a skank, Kenisha. That’s why your papi dumped your ass and you moms killed herself,” she snapped nastily. I felt my body stiffen but I just kept walking. I knew she was just trying to provoke me. But I wasn’t having it. I could hear the other girls really talking now. Everybody knew that my mother died over the summer, but it wasn’t out there exactly how it happened. “Yeah, that’s right chica. Your moms killed herself to get away from your ass.”

  I heard the security guard call out from down the hall. I kept walking, and a lot of the onlookers scattered and hurried to class. I figured all I had to do was get to class. I’d be late, but at least I wouldn’t have to deal with her crap. She was not going to get the best of me. I was stronger than that. My mom made me stronger than that. Just then I felt a push on my back. I stumbled forward then turned around and glared at her. I glanced over her shoulder seeing the security guard running toward us. I did not need this.

  Chili had the nerve to be standing there with her hands on her hips looking at me. “Yeah, I pushed you, skank. What you gonna do about it? What you gonna do, Kenisha?”

  I turned and kept walking. I was not going to ruin my chance here because of her drama. I got to my French class and opened the door to enter. Just as I did, she pushed me again. I stumbled and dropped my books. Everybody in the class looked up. “You just like your moms, a scared-ass bitch who can’t hold on to a man. Why don’t you go do what she did?”

  It might have been wrong to whip on a pregnant girl, but she went too far and I went off. No, I didn’t need a hoodie to tear her ass up. We were both pissed, so we were getting as good as we were giving. My French teacher intervened, and the guard showed up. The fight broke up almost instantly. Ten minutes later, I was sitting in the dean’s office with the security guard standing next to me. Chili sat across the room nursing her lips and crying about her baby and how I tried to kill her.

  Please. I heard her, but all I was thinking was how I could fast-forward this drama and get it over with. Forty-five minutes after that, I was cleaning out my locker when my girls, Diamond and Jalisa, showed up. They stood on either side, eyes wide open in shock. “They kicked you out, didn’t they,” Diamond asked. I nodded.

  “Damn, ain’t that some crap,” Jalisa added.

  “So what happened?” Diamond asked. “What did they say?”

  “I got expelled.”

  “You mean detention, like before, right?” Jalisa said.

  “Nope, I’m expelled. I’m supposed to clean out my locker and report back to the office. I’m out of here as of today.”

  “Wait, they expelled you for what, fighting Chili? I heard she provoked it.”

  “That’s right. That means it wasn’t even your fault. I heard that the security guard said Chili provoked it, too. Seriously, Chili is a skank with drama. Everybody knows that.”

  “I knew we should have all walked to class together,” Diamond said.

  “Yeah, we could have jumped her ass,” Jalisa hissed.

  “Nah, you guys need to stay out of this mess,” I said.

  “What if we tell them that we saw her hit you first,” Diamond whispered as she moved closer.

  “Yeah, and that you were only defending yourself,” Jalisa added moving closer, too. “They’ll believe me, I’m class president, and Diamond has been on the honor roll since kindergarten.”

  “Nah, y’all can’t be getting in trouble like that. I’m fine, for real. Besides, the guard already said that. He saw her push me twice. But then he also saw me punch her in the face. You know, I’m just tired of all this drama here anyway.”

  We stopped talking and turned around. Chili walked by smirking at us. She was red and bruised, and her lower lip was puffy and split.

  “I should beat her down some more, but the last thing I want is for everybody to think I was doing it because of LaVon. I wasn’t.”

  “Girl, we know that.”

  “Don’t nobody think that. Everybody know she’s just a wannabe poser.”

  “She’s just jealous—always was, always will be,” Diamond said.

  “But seriously, I’ve never seen her look better. Her split lip and bruised face looks so much better that all than makeup she usually wear,” Jalisa joked. Both Diamond and I burst out laughing. All this drama coming down on me and I’m standing in the hall with my girls laughing my head off.

  “Seriously, LaVon dumped her butt anyway. I heard he’s gonna get a DNA test ’cause that ain’t even his baby,” Jalisa said. “That’s probably why she’s so pissed at you.”

  “Whatever, I’m not stressing over that. They deserve each other. I just don’t want it said that I was fighting her ’cause of him.”

  “You still going to Freeman tomorrow?”

  “I doubt it,” I said thinking about all the times I couldn’t wait to get to Freeman and dance. That was my thing. I loved to dance and I was good, seriously good. Hell, I even danced with Gayle Harmon. But that seemed like a long time ago. But, for real, it was only last month. A lot happened in a month.

  Jalisa and Diamond helped me take the stuff
out of my locker. Then we took the long way back to the main office. School was over for the day, so there was hardly anybody in the halls, but still, no sense rushing. Hazelhurst Academy for Girls was where I spent my life since kindergarten. Now it had turned its back on me just like everything and everyone else.

  five

  Commercial Interruption

  “It’s not like I didn’t know it was coming, so I wasn’t all that pressed when it happened. Freedom is something you desire but never get. It’s intangible, illusive and always just a step away from my reality. Hey, anybody seen my freedom?”

  —MySpace.com

  I swear if I could scramble my DNA I would. I’d change who I was, where I was and how I was. Instead, I sat at the dining room table listening to my dad go off on me all night. Courtney, sitting there smiling, was loving it, of course. All she kept saying was I told you so. And my dad was all over that.

  “I gave you everything, and this is what you do in return? I told you not to get into more trouble. The school warned you no more trouble and what do you do the very next day, you get into a fight. Now the only way to get back in is to take the admissions exam in October. What is wrong with you?”

  “Nothing is wrong with me,” I said in my defense.

  “I don’t know what the hell we’re gonna do now. You can’t go back this semester. That means you need to get yourself enrolled someplace else until the new year.”

  “It wasn’t my fault,” I said, still pissed that I had to pick up the pieces of my life because of Chili’s stupid drama.

  “I’m through with this, Kenisha. That excuse is running thin with me. Nothing is ever your fault. You fought a pregnant girl. What’s wrong with you?”

  “Did it ever occur to you that she started it, and I was just defending myself? The security guard was right there. He saw her push me twice.”