by Korry Smith
Shaking my head to clear those thoughts, I decided long ago: The streets were my home.
"I don't have a family," I said a lot sadder than intended.
Alex was gnawing on his lip ring, deep in thought, and I wondered what it would be like to kiss him. I bet he was a good kisser. He’s got that rough look, and so passionate when he speaks. I’m sure that translated through his lips, tongue, and only God knows where else.
"Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do." He slammed his hand down on the plastic piece of his steering wheel column, causing it to snap back into place. "If you won't go home, then I have no choice but to take you home."
The car roared to life when he put the key in the ignition. A shrill of panic shot through me.
Home?
He was going to take me home?
No, that can’t happen.
I grabbed the door handle and lifted at it, frantic and out of my mind. I needed to get out of there before Alex could make good on his word, but he locked me in. I was stuck. What was I going to do now? Scream, kick, or succumb to my misfortune?
I chose to freak the fuck out.
"No, don't do that. Please. Let me out. I can't go back there!" Screeching and thrashing, I was on the verge of tears. "I'll just run away again."
"Jesus Christ." Alex reached out and cupped my cheek. “Will you please just fucking relax?"
The warmth of his touch and sternness of his voice had a calming effect on me.
"Look," he continued, "we're going to get you something to eat.”
The prospects of food made my stomach growl. I covered it with my arms to make it shut up. Alex smiled at me in such a way that my face got hot with embarrassment.
“Then I'm taking you home."
My eyes widened, and I shook my head, instinctively reaching for the door again.
"Hey!” He grabbed my arm, instantly stilling me. “I'm taking you to my home, all right?"
“Your home?”
“Yes. That apartment up there.” He pointed out towards my right. “Okay?”
I wiped away my snot. "Okay."
God, I was a tragic, blubbering disaster. How mortifying. There was no hope of Alex seeing me as more than just a kid now. I'd officially ruined my chances with all the crying and hysterics.
I decided to stay quiet after that.
As we cruised down the streets of Phoenix with the windows down and music up, I noticed an aura that surrounded Alex. There was something unusual about the way he presented himself. On the one hand, he seemed sweet and friendly, but then again, there was a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Like at any minute, he would kill someone for looking at him the wrong way.
I saw this before at the zoo, and Alex was the lion. A beautiful, mysterious, and intimidating being, but underneath all that mane and pretense of a docile kitty was a predator, dangerous and volatile.
I was bracing myself for that day when he turned on me.
Hunger was a funny thing; it clouds even the simplest of judgments. My focus had been on food, and I hadn't cared about much else. It had driven all my decisions up until that point, throw in my lack of sleep, and it was one deadly combination.
It wasn't until we were pulling into Alex's apartment complex, with my stomach full, that fear, and doubt arose. The precarious situation that I'd gotten myself into was staring me in the face again. It was asking me all sorts of things: where did I grow up? How did I get out in Phoenix?
They were straightforward and innocent questions, but with my brain finally recharged with nutrients, everything was taking on a sinister quality.
I was nervous again, but this was more along the lines of, ‘Hey, I might die if I don't get out of this.’
When we got out of the car, I stood frozen by the door. Alex brought me back to the scene of the crime. I could figure my way out of there. I’d even scouted out a bus stop that was less than a block from the apartments. If I could run faster than he could shoot me, I might survive another day.
I hoped.
Alex stopped in mid-step, turning back, and seeing that I hadn’t moved an inch. My leg muscles were tightening and getting ready to bolt, but I still hadn't decided on what direction.
"Don't you think it's a little late to be rethinking your decisions, kid?"
I didn't answer him; I kept my eyes due north towards the busy street.
"Whatever. Suit yourself.” Walking up to me, I flinched at his proximity, and he let out a tired sigh. "Take this." I glanced down and saw there was a wad of cash in his hand. I looked up at him confused. "It should get you a motel room for a couple of nights and some food."
The bills that he was shoving into my fists were at least three hundred dollars, if not more.
"Um, thanks," I mumbled.
"Keep yourself safe out there.”
“Okay.”
"And lay off the car thieving business.” Alex smiled as he pushed his black hair back away from his eyes with both hands. He did this repeatedly, but it made it more unmanageable. “You suck at it. Go work at McDonald's or some shit."
I laughed nervously. "For sure."
“All right,” he said and gently pushed me towards the street. “Now get out of here before I change my mind.”
My feet moved reluctantly, and I kept looking over my shoulder and back over at him as he crossed the courtyard. He didn't walk fast or slow, he moseyed. Like he was just a guy walking in the park. It was smooth and effortless for him.
Maybe I should stay…I thought and glanced down at the hundreds and twenties lumped together in my hands. It was more than enough to keep me afloat for several days, but then what?
Money was bound to run out just like it did before. I knew what was in store for me if I left. If Tommie didn’t find me, somebody else would, and I’d be back to sleeping out on the cold concrete, freezing, and starving, and slowly counting down the days until I die.
And since I refused to go home to my uncaring mother and deviant stepfather, I decided to take my chances with a stranger. It was stupid and risky, but the two alternatives of where my decisions would lead me if I didn't stay were terrifying.
"Alex!" I ran after him. "Wait up!"
He jerked his head back at me with a puzzled look on his face. "Did you forget something?"
I held my hand out to him. “Here.”
"No. I gave that to you. It's yours. Take it. You need it."
"I don't need it. I changed my mind."
I was still trying to give the money back, but he was unwilling and took hold of my shoulders instead.
"What are you talking about?"
"I…" I was stalling now. What if he changed his mind about giving me a place to stay?
"You what?" He tried coaxing a sentence out of me.
"I want to stay with you."
Alex stared at me with a blank expression until my words registered with him. "Fuck, kid." He laughed and waved me forward. "Come on, then."
"Here," I said, trying again to give all this money back.
"Keep it." He pushed my hand away and glared. "I'm not going to tell you again. You got me?"
“I got you.” I shoved it into my back pocket of my jeans as I followed behind him.
Alex's apartment was on the third floor and overlooked a crystal-clear pool. He said it was like having an ocean side view. I laughed. Other than Big Surf, this was as close as Phoenix can come to having crashing waves.
Stopping at apartment 323, he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. The music from inside was blaring, obnoxiously so, and I covered my ears as we walked in.
"Yo, Alexander!" A booming voice shouted. There was a man on the couch with his hair buzzed down to the scalp. He had large brown eyes and a scar above his lip. The guy was cute and about killed me with dimples when he smiled, but his massive, muscular build was intimidating.
I found myself hiding behind Alex.
"Turn that shit off, Len. Do you want our neighbors to call the cops again?" He scolded as a father woul
d.
Sniffing the air, I got the distinct trace of weed, and at once searched the room for its origin. There on the coffee table, in a purple pebbled ashtray, was a massive joint.
Well, that's not surprising.
"Fuck the police," Len said and flipped off no one. "Let the pigs come."
"Yeah. You say that shit now." Alex rolled his eyes and walked over to the stereo to turn it off.
The silence was lovely, and Len seemed unfazed as he picked up the joint and took a big hit off it. He held his breath; cheeks puffed out and filled with smoke as he gave it over to Alex. They were both sitting on the couch, passing it back and forth between each other. Len stoned out of his mind, still hadn’t noticed me, and I was standing two feet away from his face.
That wasn't awkward at all.
"So, you've been gone for a while. Did you kill the person who was stealing your car? Did you chop them up and bury the pieces in the desert?"
Alex blew out smoke and smiled up at me. "Nope. I decided to bring her home."
“Her?” Len looked over at me now, his eyes popping out of his skull. He pointed. "What's that?"
"That's Madison," Alex said.
"What's a Madison?"
"Madison is a shitty car thief," Alex answered, biting that lip ring again.
Man, what was he trying to do?
Len narrowed his blood-shot eyes and scowled at me. "What the hell is she doing here?"
"She needs a place to crash," Alex said blowing it off, acting as if my need of a home wasn't a huge deal or anything.
"Oh. Cool." Len grinned, and just like that, I was no longer the unwanted guest. "Hey there, little Madi. Do you smoke?"
They had been talking about me like I wasn't there for so long that I didn’t know how to respond when someone addressed me.
"Um..."
"Don't give her that shit. She's a good girl. You shouldn't be trying to corrupt her," Alex said, grabbing the joint away from Len's hand.
I frowned.
Not only did this guy see me as a kid but a good girl as well? It was all too much, and in response, I ended up acting like a child. The one thing I tried so hard to prove that I wasn't.
"Would a good girl try to steal your car?" I shot back, stomping over to them, and snatching the joint out of Alex's mouth.
I'd smoked weed a few times in my life, so I was familiar with the inhaling and exhaling part.
However, in my attempt to be badass, I overcompensated.
It backfired. Badly. I ended up bent over hacking my lungs out, feeling like I was going to die from the burn engulfing my chest.
Alex laughed and grabbed the joint from my failing fingers. "Sit down before you hurt yourself, kid."
I fell back into the chair behind me, feeling the effects of that one hit. One hit. Talk about biting off more than I could chew. My vision was getting blurry, and I could feel my buzz coming on. I closed my eyes, feeling waves upon waves of a heated sensation in my limbs.
Shit...I'm such an idiot!
The last thing I needed to be doing was lower my inhibitions around two strange men. Hadn't my mother taught me anything? It was too late now. I was high, and I couldn't do anything but wait it out. I hoped that I was alive and still a virgin in the morning.
The guys were talking to each other, laughing, and joking around and ignoring me again. Ten minutes passed, well, it could've been longer, time stopped in my world, and they lowered their voices to hush whispers. It was all secret like, which in turn, made me pay closer attention to what they were saying.
"What do you plan to do with her?" Len asked.
I stayed still and pretended to be asleep.
It must have been believable because, after a minute or so, Alex answered.
"She needs someone to look after her."
"Bullshit!" Len snorted. "You want to bang her."
"Come on, man. Don’t be an asshole. She's seventeen."
"So?"
"I'm twenty-eight. That's..."
"Perfect."
"It's illegal."
"What? Fuck that. Our whole operation is illegal. This weed is illegal. That gun in your pants is illegal."
"I don't care. It's not right to take advantage of the situation like that. Madison's a kid."
I was really starting to hate that word.
"Fine. Whatever. But know that I'm not babysitting for you."
"Fuck off," Alex said, and from what I could tell, he was punching something, Len's arm, the table, I didn't know. He groaned. "Look, she’s my problem, all right? I'll take care of it."
It went silent, and I wondered if I'd fallen asleep.
"You're going to get burned with that one.”
“Yeah.” Alex chuckled, but then there was an undeniable sadness in his tone. “Don’t I fucking know it.”
Chapter Two
The next time my eyes opened, it was morning, and I was in a strange bed. It was low to the floor, but the mattress was soft, and the pillows smelled of Axe Cologne and Dove Soap. I pulled it to my nose and rolled over to my side. I could live there forever, but the sun was flooding in through the vertical blinds and made it too bright and hot in the room. When I relented to waking up, my vision wouldn’t cooperate. It was still fuzzy and unfocused, and I’d about rubbed my sore eyelids to the point of being raw.
Sitting up on my elbows, I glanced around in hopes to remember what happened last night. I was in a boy's room. That was for sure. It wasn’t a mess, and surprisingly clean, but every hue was either gray, dull wood, or black. My heart dropped into my stomach as my memories came rushing back to me: Tommie and the debt. Alex and his car. The weed, and the unsolicited, yet candid, conversation.
Throwing the blanket off me, I’m relieved to find the only item of clothing stripped away were my shoes. The heavily worn Converses were neatly sitting next to the bed on the floor. It’s an odd thing to notice, but the care a person would have to take to make sure those were right there for me when I woke up was thoughtful and not something I would have done. That’s how I knew it wasn’t me who removed them. I’m a kick them off and fling them across the room kind of gal.
“Ugh!” I groaned.
My head was throbbing with a migraine and reminding me of my bad decisions. Things were slowly falling into place, but a few details were foggy. I'd been up for about twenty-eight hours the day before, and I was bound to crash somewhere at some point.
Slipping on my shoes, I rose from the bed and walked over to the door. I pressed my ear against it and listened for any movement on the other side. There was a faint sound of a television, but nothing else. That was comforting, and the normalcy gave me temporary relief. However, like everything else in life, it can be deceiving. I had a good idea of where I was, but I didn't know what was waiting for me out there, and there’s a good possibility that I might have to stab somebody.
My screwdriver! I patted my jean pockets.
The money was still there, but my weapon was gone. It was in Alex's car, where I’d fucking left it—like an idiot.
Whatever.
I didn't get the feeling that I was going to need it. That sense of unease wasn't there, and I couldn't figure out why. I didn't know these guys. It was a little too soon and ignorant of me to put all my trust into a gun-toting stranger and his pot smoking friend.
Opening the door and poking my head out, I had a partial view of the living room. Nothing scary there. I glanced down the hall to my left, noticing another bedroom, a bathroom, and the kitchen, but there wasn't a soul in either place. The only sign of life was the cast of Seinfeld. That lessened my apprehension just a little bit more and gave me the courage to step out of the bedroom.
I tipped out to the hallway and into the living room. I stopped short of the couch and gasped as my eyes fell on a shirtless Alex.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, and then quickly covered my big-fat mouth with my hands.
Sleeping deeply and with his body relaxed, Alex looked younger, almost boyish. Tho
se long legs of his were hanging over one end of the couch, and the dark jeans he was wearing rode low on his hips, not leaving much to the imagination. I swallowed my spit as my eyes narrowed in on his boxer briefs, and my fingers twitched to tug them down, but he stirred.
I stood motionless, and thankfully, he didn’t wake up.
Taking another, quiet step closer, I studied the tattoos on his chest. They were a lot more extensive than I initially thought, and interpreting them would be pointless. They were too chaotic in their complexity, but below the ink was a lean and robust body.
Alex wasn't overly muscular like his friend, but he had some definition. This gawking led me to the discovery of his other piercings. If I thought the lip ring was hot, it was nothing compared to his nipple rings. My eyes wandered down his torso, pondering the possibility of another piercing, somewhere hidden below.
My fingers twitched again.
Damn it.
What was it with this guy? Alex was hot; I understood that, but he was also a bad boy, and those types were the worst. They did what they wanted, when they wanted, and you couldn’t tame them. The girl always ended up broken and alone.
I knew what this crush meant for me, but it was too late.
"Drool much?" A raspy and womanly voice whispered in my ear.
I nearly jumped ten feet into the air, my heart pounding out of my chest. I turned around and saw a tall, statuesque woman with long black hair leaning against the wall. The Arizona sun gave her a golden-glow, and her skin shimmered. She was stunning. I tried to hide my embarrassment of getting caught panting and slobbering over a sleeping Alex, but her beauty intimidated me and caused another round of hot, red flushes to my cheeks.
“Um, it’s not like that.” I glanced away and stammered. "I was trying to figure out what his tattoos say.”
"Sure, you were.” She held out her manicured hand, and I shook it. "I'm Dev."
