Kid

by Korry Smith

  It was hard to put into words how he treated me. His demeanor was cold and unaffected. There was zero eye contact between us—which I missed dearly. If a situation forced him to talk with me, he would, but again, it was with the short, one syllable words: Sure. No. Yeah. So.

  It was seven weeks into my hell, and the family was throwing a party over at Sawyer’s apartment. It was a tactic they used to lure in new customers and keep the ones they had strung out. Nyx argued with Alex about inviting me. He was dead-set against it. I listened for a good fifteen minutes as he went on and on about how he was stuck having to take care me, why should he take me everywhere he goes too? Nyx only won due to the fact I couldn’t stay in his apartment by myself.

  “What if someone comes over, Alex?” Nyx pointed out. “Do you want to take that chance of her getting caught up in your shit?”

  There was a long pause from him before he conceded with a frustrated groan. “Fine! But she’s your responsibility tonight.”

  Then he stormed out of the apartment.

  Nyx soft tapping on the bedroom door came a moment later. “Madison? Can I come in?”

  Tossing the book, I’d been trying to read as a distraction, to the side, I got up from the bed and let her in. She walked in slowly, studying my face, and looking for any signs of distress. The way he treated me was painful, I couldn’t lie about that, but I came from a household where that behavior was status quo.

  “I’m okay. Honestly. But why are you pushing Alex like that?” I said in a huff. “The last thing I want to be is some sad puppy dog annoyance to him. I’m fine here by myself.”

  Nyx went to talk several times but kept cutting herself off short.

  Finally, she threw up her hands and sighed. “I don’t know why he’s acting like that towards you. If you were such an annoyance to him, he would toss your ass out on the streets, and not give you a roof over your head and feed you.” She glanced behind her and closed the door. When she spoke again, it was a whisper. “Do you know he has a jar for you?”

  I gave a slight shake of my head. “No, what is that?”

  Nyx held up her finger to silence me, and walked back to the door, pressing her ear against it. She listened for a minute, and when she felt the coast was clear, she took a step towards me and said, “I’ve only seen it once, and he moves it around the house every few days, to make sure nobody finds it, but it’s a savings jar.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Huh?”

  “I know, it sounds silly, but Alex’s old school that way. It’s a decent sized jar, and it’s labeled Madi’s college.”

  “Bullshit!” I laughed. She was pulling my leg now. “It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up, but I don’t…”

  “I’m going to prove it to you,” Nyx said, and exited the room.

  I stood there chewing on my cuticles, debating on following her. Alex was going to be pissed if he came home and caught us snooping in his house.

  God, he’s such a hot-headed asshole sometimes, but I feared he would kill Nyx.

  After two minutes of her opening cabinets and drawers, my curiosity got the best of me, and I rushed out of the room to help her. Who knew how long we had? I ran to the living room window and pulled back the blinds. The Chevelle was gone. That was good, and it meant that Alex left the complex. My anxiety eased some, but I locked the front door to give us that extra two seconds.

  Turning on my heel, I dashed to help Nyx in the kitchen. The spaz had moved on, but the evidence of her tornado left in the wake. All the drawers and cabinets she left opened and looked like a scene from The Sixth Sense.

  I slapped my hand to my forehead. How would Alex not know something happened while he was gone? My job now wasn’t helping her find the jar but cleaning up after her.

  “Ah ha!” Nyx yelled out.

  I sprinted out of the kitchen as she ran out of Len’s room and we met each other in the hallway. She had a shit-eating grin and a massive mason jar in her hand. Stuffed with some ones and twenties, about a quarter of the way filled, and labeled as she said, ‘Madi’s college.’

  Alex even spelled my name right.

  “See! What did I tell you?”

  There was a tightening of my chest. I didn’t understand any of this. “Why would he do that?”

  Nyx was bragging now and fluffed her colorful feathers. “Because he cares about you. I don’t know why he’s acting like such an asshole all the time, but I’m guessing there’s more to the story.”

  The lock on the front door clicked over, and my eyes widened in sync with Nyx’s. I pushed her into Len’s room as I slid back into the kitchen. My heart was hammering in my chest, and it made it hard to hear the footsteps in the hallway, but I held my breath and listened.

  It was Alex.

  I knew the shuffle of his boots. He stopped short of the kitchen. My room door was open. Was he looking for Nyx or me? The shuffling continued, getting closer and closer until he was on top of me.

  “Madison?” The deep rumble of his voice was unexpected and something I hadn’t heard in forever.

  I grimaced and looked up. “Hey.”

  Alex was wearing his St. Louis Cardinals baseball hat. I’d forgotten how cute he looked when he wore that cap and how much it made his eyes pop. It was sad how quickly he could turn me into a pile of crushing, girly mush.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, his head tilted to the side and eyeing me with suspicion. I had my whole body pressed up against the wall as if I was hoping to flatten myself out of existence.

  How do I talk to him now? I know the secret he’s been hiding.

  “Um, I was…getting something to eat,” I said, pushing myself off the wall and going to the refrigerator.

  I smiled at the shelves stocked full of my favorites: Dr. Pepper, string cheese, and Snack-packs. They weren’t the best nutritional wise, but when he first took me in, I was rail-thin. I’ve put on ten pounds since then, and now my boobs and bum were fuller.

  The little things he did weren’t only essential to my survival but a huge deal.

  He followed me, still skeptical, and watched me pop open a can and nervously chug it. “And where’s Nyx?”

  I gulped down the last drop and played dumb. “Who?”

  That set Alex off, and he glanced back towards the closed door of Len’s room. I wanted to whistle or give her a heads up, but it was too late. He was charging her way. I cursed under my breath and scampered to my room. The last thing I wanted to do was bear witness to her murder.

  Flinging the door closed behind me, I threw myself to the bed and hid under the covers. I listened for the yelling, but it never came.

  Ten minutes later there was a knock, and Nyx’s voice was soft and mumbled by the door. “Don’t worry. We’re cool. I’ll see you at the party.”

  Devlin came over an hour later with bags of clothes and makeup. I didn’t own a dress or anything girly, and I couldn’t remember the last time I put on blush. Nyx learned this about me and sent the word out that I was in dire straits.

  “There’s going to be guys at this party,” Dev said when I tried to refuse her generosity. “You need to play up your God-given assets.”

  I smiled, but her reasons depressed me. The guy I wanted to give all my assets to was complaining in the next room. I could hear the flick of his lighter as I zipped up the black mini-skirt Dev threw at me. The top she gave me was a deep burgundy lace-like body suit. On the hanger, with its turtleneck and flaring long sleeves, it looked hideous, but once it was on, it wasn’t half bad. The see-through material was a little revealing and a far cry than my usual tom-boy attire, but I was desperate for Alex to see me as a woman.

  Dev dabbed my lips with some gloss tussled my hair and pushed me out of the room. “We’re ready!”

  “Finally,” Alex grumbled. He grabbed his keys off the coffee table and stood up. He turned to me with indifference but did a double-take. His eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped, figuratively hitting the floor.

  “My work seems fin
ished here,” Dev said as she sashayed past me and went out the front door.

  We were alone again. A situation Alex worked tirelessly to avoid. The weight of his eyes on me was overwhelming and exhilarating. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but his stare spoke more than he’d ever say out loud.

  “What did you do?” he asked.

  I bit down on my bottom lip, getting a taste of strawberry on my tongue, and shrugged. “Nothing.”

  He twirled his keys on his finger and walked towards me. “Doesn’t look like nothing.”

  Suddenly feeling naked and bashful under his scrutinized gaze, I pulled on the bottom hem of the skirt, but the damn thing had little fabric and came down to mid-thigh. “Dev said there was going to be guys at the party.”

  Alex kept advancing and backed me into the wall. He fisted the keys mid-twirl, and with his other hand, traced the top border of my black bra underneath and followed it down to my cleavage. “And this is for them?”

  He expected me to say it was all for him, and it was, but why should he get what he wanted all the time?

  “Yes.” I kept my eyes locked on his; never wavering. “Dev told me there would be plenty of rooms at Sawyer’s to hook up.”

  That was a lie, but I spoke it so effortlessly, I doubted Alex knew the difference. The point was to make him jealous and show him I wasn’t going to wait around.

  “So…” He leaned in close and put his mouth to my ear. “You’re all grown now?”

  Fuck was the only word going through my head as he moved his hands down my body to examine my womanly curves. My breath hitched when his fingers got to the top waistband of my skirt. I throbbed with anticipation of how far he would take things. One finger slipped underneath, and then two. He was finally caving, and I was finally getting what I wanted. So why I did what I did, I’ll never know.

  “I will be!” I pulled his hand out and glared. “But not for you.”

  The reaction I didn’t want but caused by my stupidity was his coldness. The sparkle in his eyes faded until they were nothing but flat, dark, and distant orbs.

  “You’re right.” He backed up and did a grand swoop of his arm towards the door. “After you, kid.”

  Sawyer’s party was in full swing by the time we arrived. Dev searched Len out in the crowd of people and jumped into his arms. They found the nearest couch to make out. Alex stayed in front of me as he pushed bodies aside to make a path. Everywhere I looked, eyes were narrowed and trained on us, and followed our route without a break. It was hard to decipher who the attention was going to. My skirt was short and raised higher with every step I took, but Alex was Alex. Everyone craved his attention and fought to be near him.

  We found Nyx in the kitchen lining up shots on the counter. She smiled and waved us over. Before I could even reach her, Alex did a beeline back to the living room and disappeared. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye.

  “Hey!” I shouted at her over the loud music.

  “Hey! Damn, you look hot, girl!” Nyx slid a shot glass over to me. “Here. Bottoms up.”

  I didn’t ask questions, hesitate or anything; I just downed it. Flipping the glass over, I gave a heads-up for round two.

  “All right, turbo,” she said, reluctantly giving me another one. “But pace yourself. The last thing I need is you getting shit-faced. Alex will kill me.”

  Even hearing his name gave my heart a jolt and made my body weak. I’m head over heels for the jerk, and for what? The handful of times he’s been kind to me, and that damn jar didn’t outweigh the bad. I slammed down the second shot to stop these stupid thoughts.

  “I don’t care what he thinks,” I said, lying through my teeth.

  Nyx smiled knowingly, but there was sympathy there too. She patted the stool next to her. “Why don’t you help me mix drinks.”

  An hour into the party, I had a decent buzz. I hadn’t seen Alex since he ditched me, but Len and Dev have been frequent visitors. They were keeping me busy and distracted. I’d made it no secret that I had the hots for their friend, and unfortunately, the feelings weren’t mutual. Whatever business he had going out there, they didn’t want me to see, and Dev did her best to wave over some random guys. They were all nice at first, but as soon as they realized we weren’t going to make out or sleep together, they lost interest and wandered off.

  I didn’t care.

  What I did care about was the family keeping me confined. I tried to go to the bathroom on my own, but conveniently, there was a guest bathroom attached to the kitchen. It’s why they chose this spot. Nyx made a deal with Alex to keep tabs on me while he was out there in the other parts of the house being himself and doing God knows what.

  I had to escape.

  For about two hours, I worked my captors and convinced them I was content in my cage. They let their guard down and felt safe enough to leave me unattended. Nyx went to the bathroom while Dev and Len went off to partake in illegal activity. I seized my window of opportunity and walked through my invisible borders. The crowd wasn’t as large and had dispersed a bit. I quickly found Dev and Len on the couch, surrounded by people and a haze of smoke. They looked in my direction, but I quickly ducked into the adjacent hallway.

  There were four rooms, and all those rooms occupied by couples, or even trios, having sex. Alex wasn’t in any of them. I sighed with relief, knowing full well catching him with someone else would’ve crushed me. But now it made me more desperate to find him. Call it glutton for punishment, but I needed to know for sure. My first scan of the living room came up empty, but as I headed towards the front door to check if he was outside, I found him in the far back corner, and he wasn't alone.

  He was sitting in a recliner with some slut on his lap. I didn’t even know what she looked like because all I could see was his thumb hooked in the back waistband of her hooker shorts. I watched way too long as he lazily caressed her skin with that thumb. He was talking and looking at ease.

  She giggled, hugged him, and pressed her overly inflated boobs into his face. “Oh, Alex. You’re so funny.”

  He leaned back in the chair and smiled. It was genuine. It was sweet. It was only for her.

  That’s what took the air from my lungs, and I collapsed, having just the wall behind me to break my descent into Hell.

  Alex could ignore me. That was fine. I was living in his house. He came back to me each day. We ate dinner together. And as far as I knew, I was the only girl in his life. My denial and isolation led me to believe such a lie. But now, I couldn’t expel the truth. There were other girls. They got to laugh with him and kiss him. He touched them and made them feel special.

  Thick, sour bile quickly rose and lodged itself in the back of my throat. “I’m going to be sick.” Picking myself up, I swung around to go back to the hallway bathroom; I cursed loudly. “Fuck!”

  The line had grown exponentially. I couldn’t wait. The balcony and fresh air were less than ten feet away, but I would have to pass Alex and his hussy to get to it. Damn it! And we were two stories up. I wasn’t about to jump out a window and break my legs to escape a situation—not even for Alex!

  “Hey, ma. What’s your name?”

  It took me a second for my eyes to focus on the guy standing in front of me. He was tall and well dressed. The face wasn’t half bad either. He had dark eyes and dark skin, and when he smiled, I pretended it was just for me.

  “I’m Mad. What’s yours?”

  Maybe it was my buzz, or the fact Alex was close to making out with that girl, but I pushed my body up against this stranger. My message to him was clear: I was available for whatever.

  He said his name, but I wasn’t listening. My focus was on his hands and how they moved down to my hips. “You with anybody?”

  “Nope.” I covered his hands with mine and walked us back into the living room. The music was blasting a slow song, but more importantly, I needed an audience.

  My eyes flashed over to Alex. That girl still had him wrapped up and not paying mind to much else,
but Len noticed. He nudged Alex on his shoulder. I couldn’t hear what they said, but whatever it was, it brought Alex’s attention towards me. There wasn’t indifference anymore. I smiled as he hushed the slut on his lap and shot daggers my way.

  The song ended long ago, and the room was now eerily silent like someone turned the stereo off, but we kept dancing, grinding against one another.

  I was overselling it, laughing, and acting obnoxious. The guy didn’t care. He told me how sexy I was and how bad he wanted me. His large hands touched me everywhere. He cupped my breasts. He gripped my waist. He squeezed my ass. It was painful at times, but I wasn’t going to tell him to stop. My need to show Alex that the kid he ignored had grown up into a desirable woman overshadowed my unease and discomfort.

  I snuck a glance over at him. The girl on his lap was gone. He was sitting forward in the recliner with his hands clasped so tightly together his knuckles were turning white, but it was his stare that made my heart skip a few thousand beats. Len panicked and had to grab Sawyer to talk into his ear, but I knew Alex well enough to know that he wasn’t listening.

  I was getting underneath his skin.

  That encouraged me.

  Rising to my tiptoes, I barely got face to neck with the guy. “Kiss me.”

  The second I said those words, I regretted it, but I was already in too deep and committed. My dance partner took a firm grasp of my face and went in for the kill.

  Closing my eyes, I pretended he was Alex. I was tipsy enough and might not notice the significant differences. My nails dug into his biceps as the wisp of his mouth brushed against mine, but as quickly as it was there, it was gone.

  The next thing I knew, someone ripped me out of the guy’s embrace.

  “Handle him.” A voice that made my heart go pitter-patter, usually smooth, was now deeper, throaty, and seeping with rage.

  My eyes opened to a blur of chaos: Alex was dragging me out the front door, and the family surrounded my dance partner, all hands-on deck to hold him back. He was a big guy too. It shocked me to see they were successful.