Christmas Bride for the Boss

by Kate Hardy

  ‘Well, sweetheart, that’s a bit tricky, because the presents I give are all wrapped up, and I can’t wrap a person up,’ Santa said gently.

  ‘Daddy had a big fight with Sophie and she went away,’ Sienna said.

  Jamie wanted the earth to open up and swallow him.

  ‘I love Sophie, and she loves me.’ Sienna’s bottom lip began to wobble and a tear rolled down her cheek. ‘I want her to be my mummy. My mummy’s in heaven but Sophie isn’t. And I love Sophie.’

  Jamie dropped to his knees beside her and put his arms round her. ‘Don’t cry, darling. And I don’t think Santa has time to talk about this right now.’

  ‘Oh, Santa always has time,’ Santa corrected, giving him a speaking look, and Jamie felt about two centimetres tall. ‘Tell me about Sophie, Sienna.’

  ‘She came to look after me when Cindy, my nanny, broke her leg. Sophie’s lovely. I love Sophie. My grannies love Sophie.’ Sophie swallowed a sob. ‘Everybody loves Sophie.’

  ‘Does Daddy love Sophie?’ Santa asked gently.

  ‘I don’t know. But I think Sophie loves Daddy.’

  How? Jamie wondered. How could Sophie possibly love him, when it was his fault that Sienna’s mother was dead, he was a rubbish father, and he’d pushed Sophie away without letting her have a say?

  ‘I think,’ Santa said, ‘you and Daddy need to talk. And sometimes it’s hard to say the right words, so I’m going to give you a very special teddy bear to help you. A black and white teddy bear.’

  ‘Like a penguin?’ Sienna asked.

  He smiled. ‘Just like a penguin. What you do is sit with Daddy and you tell the teddy bear what you want to say to Daddy. And then things will work out. I can’t give you a mummy for Christmas, sweetheart, but that bear will help you.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Sienna accepted the wrapped present gratefully. ‘Thank you, Santa.’

  ‘Merry Christmas,’ he said.

  ‘Merry Christmas,’ Jamie said. ‘And thank you.’

  Sienna clutched the bear tightly as they left Santa’s grotto.

  ‘Would you like to go for a milkshake?’ he asked.

  She shook her head.

  He had a pretty good idea what his daughter wanted to do instead. ‘Let’s go home and talk to the bear,’ he said. ‘Though maybe we should get him a Christmas hat first.’ Because that was what he was pretty sure Sophie would’ve suggested.

  They bought the Christmas hat for the bear and headed back to their house. Ellen was there, waiting for them; she smiled and was kind, but she just wasn’t Sophie. And the house wasn’t home without Sophie, either.

  They ate lunch, though Sienna didn’t eat much, pushing her food around on the plate because she was clearly too upset to eat. Then, finally, they sat down with the bear. Jamie knew that this was going to test him to his limits; and he also knew that, whatever happened, he was not going to let his little girl down.

  ‘Why did Daddy fight with Sophie, Bear?’ Sienna asked.

  ‘Because sometimes Daddy gets things wrong, and Daddy needs to learn to listen,’ he said.

  Sienna looked thoughtful. ‘Does Daddy love Sophie like I do, Bear?’

  He owed her honesty. ‘Yes, I do.’

  She turned to him, the bear temporarily forgotten. ‘So can Sophie be my mummy?’

  That was the key question. The one he couldn’t answer without Sophie.

  ‘It’s not just up to me, darling,’ he said. ‘I need to talk to Sophie. And you know sometimes when you have a fight with a friend, it takes a little while to make things up?’

  She nodded solemnly.

  ‘I promise I’ll try to make things up with her. But it might take a while.’ He paused. ‘Would you like to draw a picture of your bear?’

  ‘For Sophie?’

  He nodded. If need be, he could always photograph it on his phone and text it to Sophie—or maybe ask Eva to play postman for him, if Sophie was ignoring him.

  When Sienna was settled, he took his phone, ready to text Sophie.

  Where did he start?

  They’d both been in the wrong. But saying that was maybe not the most tactful opening.

  In the end, he sent the simplest message he could think of.

  Please can we talk?

  If she ignored him or said no, he’d have to try a different approach. But the most important thing right now was re-establishing contact.

  There was no answer. She might be busy, he told himself. Her phone might be stuffed in her handbag, in a different room, and she might not have heard it signal an incoming message or seen the text.

  Or she might do what he’d done when she’d tried to call him earlier in the week and just ignore the message.

  He hoped, for all their sakes, her silence was just because she was busy.

  ‘Ellen, would you mind looking after Sienna for a few minutes for me, please?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course I will, Mr Wallis,’ she said.

  ‘Are you going to see Sophie?’ Sienna asked hopefully.

  ‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘I need to wait for her to answer my text first.’

  She looked deflated. ‘You’re going to work.’

  No, but he didn’t want to burden her with where he was going. ‘Yes,’ he fibbed. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’

  He grabbed his coat and headed to the florist round the corner to buy flowers, then walked to the cemetery.

  Suitably, it was raining.

  He took out the old flowers from the vase on Fran’s grave and put the new ones in their place. ‘Hi,’ he said. ‘I miss you.’

  And of course she didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I let you down. If I hadn’t eaten that stupid fish curry, I wouldn’t have been ill and it would’ve been me scratching myself on the coral reef, not you. You would still have been here to see our daughter grow up.’

  And he’d let her down there, too. He swallowed hard.

  ‘I’ve made a real mess of it, Fran. I’ve been a coward and an idiot, and I’ve hurt Sienna. I’ve hurt your mum. I’ve behaved like my mum.’

  The rain came down a little bit harder.

  ‘I want to make it right,’ he said. ‘With Sophie, I was getting there. She showed me how to be a proper dad to Sienna. How to be human again instead of a block of ice.’ He sighed. ‘Except I overreacted and I pushed her away.’

  And he didn’t know if she was going to give him a second chance. He didn’t deserve one, not for his own sake. But surely Sienna deserved a chance?

  ‘I love you,’ he said to Fran, ‘and I always will. But Sienna’s growing up and she really needs a mum. And I need someone to—well, manage me, I guess. Someone I can love, the way I love you. Because love doesn’t just fit in a little box. It expands.’ He dragged in a breath. ‘I want to be a family again. And it feels right with Sophie. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you any more. And I’ll never forget you. I’ll remember you every time I hear our daughter laugh. And I want to hear Sienna laugh a lot, Fran. I don’t want her to grow up like I did, a kid who was seen but never heard. I want her to have a normal childhood. To feel loved. So I’m going to ask Sophie to forgive me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to persuade her to give me a second chance—to marry me and be a family with me. I hope you can understand that.’

  And maybe he was just being fanciful: but right at that moment the rain stopped, and a ray of sunlight caught the droplets of rain on the flowers he’d put in the vase in front of Fran’s grave.

  Was it Fran giving him a push and telling him that life had to go on, and she wanted him to find happiness?

  He hoped so.

  It certainly made his heart feel lighter.

  He rested his hand on her grave. ‘I love you, Fran. I’m
sorry we didn’t get the chance to grow old together. But I’ve met someone who’s taught me to love again, someone who’s taught me to reconnect with our daughter. And I hope we’re going to have a happy life.’ He swallowed hard. ‘I just need to get her to forgive me, first.’

  Just.

  Funny how he could negotiate difficult contracts and do megabuck deals without turning a hair. But this emotional minefield... He just had to hope that Sophie would talk to him and give him the chance he’d been too stupid to give her.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Please can we talk?

  SOPHIE STARED AT the screen. Given that Jamie had ignored her phone calls last week and had made it very clear that he didn’t want anything to do with her, this was the last thing she’d expected—to the point where she’d left her phone in her handbag and hadn’t bothered checking it, so the message had been sitting there unread for a couple of hours.

  What did he want to talk to her about?

  The fact he’d started with the word ‘please’ was a good thing; it sounded as if he really was prepared to discuss things instead of going off at the deep end. And she’d been so miserable without him and Sophie in her life. Even throwing herself into work hadn’t helped much; she was too aware of how much she missed them.

  Okay.

  Monday, half-past twelve?

  That question mark made all the difference: it meant this was a suggestion, not a demand.

  Fine. Suggest somewhere neutral?

  The café opposite your office? Or do you know somewhere better?

  Café’s fine. See you at twelve-thirty.

  See you then.

  * * *

  Sophie found it really hard to concentrate at work on Monday.

  ‘You’re twitchy,’ Eva said.

  ‘Because I’m meeting Jamie at lunchtime,’ Sophie admitted. ‘He wants to talk.’

  Eva smiled. ‘See? Told you so. All he needed was some time to calm down.’

  ‘Maybe. But I have absolutely no idea what he wants to talk about.’

  ‘He’s probably working out how to apologise because he knows he’s in the wrong,’ Eva said. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’

  ‘I love you dearly for offering,’ Sophie said, ‘but it’s fine.’

  ‘Where are you meeting him?’

  ‘At the café across the road from here.’

  ‘Then text me if you need me and I’ll be straight over,’ Eva said.

  ‘I will.’ Sophie hugged her. ‘Thank you.’

  She walked into the café at twenty-nine minutes past twelve. Jamie was already there, and was sitting at a table where she could see him easily from the door. He raised a hand as she scanned the room. That tiny hint of vulnerability in his smile melted her heart.

  But he probably wanted to discuss business, she warned herself. This wasn’t going to be personal. Maybe he wanted her to talk to the new nanny about some of the things she’d done with Sienna. So she wasn’t going to let herself remember how it had felt when he’d held her hand and kissed her. That was in the past and it was staying there.

  She walked over to him. ‘Hello, Jamie.’

  ‘Thank you for coming, Sophie,’ he said. ‘Can I get you some coffee?’

  ‘Thank you. That’d be nice.’

  He gestured to the chair opposite his. ‘Please sit down. I’ll be back in a minute.’

  Her nervousness increased as she waited. He’d still given her absolutely no idea what he wanted to talk to her about, and she couldn’t tell a thing about his mood from his polite formality.

  He returned bearing a mug of coffee just the way she liked it.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said.

  ‘I’m glad you agreed to meet me.’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ She’d already decided to let him do most of the talking, so she waited to hear what he had to say.

  ‘First of all,’ he said, ‘I owe you a massive apology—I went off at the deep end, last week, and I shouldn’t have taken out my worries on you.’

  She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Or sacked me, when you weren’t technically my boss.’

  ‘Or asked you to leave,’ he said, ‘when you’d done so much to make Sienna’s life better—and mine.’ He sighed. ‘I’m an idiot.’

  ‘I’d kind of already worked that one out for myself.’ Her resolve to let him do all the talking vanished in a rush of curiosity. ‘But what made you see it?’

  ‘Would you believe, a stuffed panda?’

  Sophie stared at him, not understanding. ‘A stuffed panda? How?’

  ‘I took Sienna to see Santa. He asked what she wanted for Christmas,’ Jamie explained. ‘And he said he couldn’t do what she wanted, but he gave her a bear and said if she used it to talk to me I might be able to sort things out.’

  That was amazing psychology on Santa’s part, she thought. ‘What did she ask for?’

  He winced. ‘There’s no way to prepare you for this, so I’ll tell you straight. Sienna wanted you to be her mummy.’

  Sophie stared at him, completely floored by what he’d just told her. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

  He lifted a shoulder in a resigned half-shrug. ‘You don’t have to say anything.’

  ‘What did you say?’ she asked.

  ‘To Santa or the bear?’

  ‘Both.’

  ‘Thank you to Santa. And to the bear...’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘That was one of the toughest conversations I’ve ever had. I said that it wasn’t just up to me. That I needed to talk to you. And sometimes when you have a fight with a friend it takes a little while to make things up.’

  ‘Good answer,’ she said. ‘You didn’t make any promises you can’t keep and you were honest with Sienna.’ Though had she just compounded her past mistakes? Was this like Joe and Dan all over again and Jamie only wanted her for what she could do for him, not for herself? ‘Is that why you’re talking to me now?’

  ‘For her sake? Partly,’ he admitted. ‘But also for mine. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, the last few days. The house doesn’t feel right without you.’

  ‘In other words, you don’t like your new temp nanny?’ she asked wryly.

  ‘Ellen’s lovely and she’s going to stay with us until Cindy’s back,’ he said. ‘It’s not that at all. It’s you. I miss you.’

  Could she trust him? Did he mean it? She’d been here before.

  Though Jamie wasn’t Dan or Joe. It wasn’t fair to judge him by her past mistakes.

  ‘The last month, things have been different,’ he said. ‘You made me look at my life and I didn’t like what I saw. And then I panicked when I found you’d taken Sienna swimming.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’ll be honest with you. Feelings make me twitchy. I like being in control. Emotions—well, I was panicking and refusing to admit things to myself, and I guess I used the swimming as an excuse to push you away. Which was unfair of me and wrong.’

  And it had hurt her deeply.

  ‘I like the person I am when I’m with you,’ he said, ‘and I want to keep being that person. I want you back in my life, Sophie, but not as Sienna’s nanny and not just as my business partner.’

  She didn’t quite dare to hope. ‘So what are you saying?’

  ‘I know I messed up, and I know you’ve been hurt before—but I’d never cheat on you like Dan and Joe did, and I won’t ever lie to you like they did.’ He looked earnestly at her. ‘Just as you’ve shown me that I can be a better person, I want to show you that you can trust me.’

  ‘How do I know you won’t go off at the deep end again, the next time I do or say something you don’t like and I can’t read your mind?’ she asked.

  ‘Because,’ he said, ‘you’ve taught me to talk. You and the bear that Santa gave Sienna. Plus you
were right about the counselling. I talked to a friend who trained as a GP, and he recommended someone who happens to have a cancellation this week. So I’m going for the first session tomorrow.’ His eyes narrowed for a moment. ‘That Santa isn’t related to you, by any chance, is he?’

  ‘No. I have no idea who that particular Santa was, but I’ve arranged having a Santa at events before now, so I know the kind of training they do,’ she explained. ‘They’re taught how to deal with it when small children ask them to make a terminally ill person better or bring someone back from heaven.’

  ‘Or ask them if someone will be their mummy,’ he added, wincing.

  She nodded. ‘And the way your Santa handled the situation sounds perfect.’ Particularly as it had made Jamie sit down with his daughter and really communicate with her.

  ‘So will you give me a chance to make it up to you and see how this thing works out between us?’ he asked.

  ‘No promises to Sienna,’ she warned. Just in case it went wrong again.

  ‘No promises,’ he agreed. ‘I just want to spend time with you. And I don’t mean for Sienna’s sake. For me, too. Dating you properly as well as spending family time with her.’

  Dating you properly. A thrill went down her spine at the idea. ‘Okay. And it might be nice to meet your new nanny.’

  He gave her a wry smile. ‘Why do I get the feeling that you’re going to tell her to ignore that file?’

  ‘More than that, I’m going to rip that file into little pieces and jump up and down on it,’ she said. ‘And then I might put all the pieces in a puddle and jump up and down on them all over again.’

  ‘I’ve kind of got the message,’ he said.

  ‘Good.’

  ‘Will you come and have dinner with us tonight?’

  ‘If you’re cooking,’ she said.

  He nodded. ‘Chicken parmigiana?’

  ‘And banana penguins. You’ll need Sienna’s help for that.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ he said.

  Then, to her shock, he leaned across the table and kissed her. His mouth was warm and sweet, and every nerve-end in her lips tingled.

  ‘That wasn’t part of the deal,’ she said.