Art for Art's Sake: Meredith's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  They acted as if nothing was wrong in front of Mikey, but besides this small semblance of friendship for Mikey’s sake, they had barely spoken to each other during the entire week. For whatever reason, Dani still sat next to Meredith during their art class, but Meredith had coldly suggested that Dani ask Mrs. Levine for help.

  Meredith was sure that creating distance between them was in Dani’s best interest. Dani surely understood this, because Dani had gotten a small dose of how it felt to be Meredith when her supposed friends Ben and Sarah turned on her. If Meredith kept her distance then Dani wouldn’t get the kind of teasing Meredith got on a regular basis. Yes, it was better to simply do the history project together and then be out of each other’s lives for good. Meredith couldn’t help feel a bit of loss, though, because Dani was the first person that had made even the slightest overture at friendship.

  Meredith snuck a peek at Dani out of the corner of her eye as they traveled down Center Street. Ignoring Dani wasn’t going to be easy, because Dani had found a way to get beyond Meredith’s outer layer of protection.

  Meredith figured that she could easily find another subject to paint for the AP Art portfolio. Well, maybe not so easily. That stung a little bit, too. She snuck another guilty glance at Dani’s profile and then looked out the passenger window at the stores going by. They passed the bakery that Dani had taken them to for hot chocolate the weekend before. Mikey always said he hated rainbow sprinkles, but when Dani gave him some on his whipped cream, he loved them and asked for more. Mikey would definitely be disappointed when Dani didn’t come around anymore. She sighed. Her sigh must have been audible because Dani cleared her throat.

  “Meredith? I, uh, called Hudson Pines, and we’ve got someone to talk to about the old house. A Mrs. Randall, I think.”

  Dani kept the conversation confined to the project. Good. She must understand that friendship between them was not an option, but why did it feel so horrible?

  Meredith tried to keep her voice even. “Okay. It’s good to have a lead.”

  “Yeah.” They lapsed into silence again.

  Meredith knew she should apologize and at least get that behind them before they went into the senior center. As Dani pulled the truck into the crowded parking lot, Meredith was amazed at how popular the center seemed to be on Saturdays. Dani pulled the truck into the only open spot she could find. She turned off the engine, but didn’t make a move to get out of the truck. Neither did Meredith.

  “Dani—”

  “Meredith—”

  They laughed when they said each other’s names at the same time.

  “Go ahead, Meredith. What were you going to say?”

  “I...,” she wasn’t sure how to begin. “No, you go ahead.”

  Dani hands remained locked onto the steering wheel. She smiled at Meredith with closed lips as if afraid to begin. “Okay. Meredith, look, I’m sorry for coming across too protective the other day. You know, acting like your bodyguard or something.”

  Meredith looked down at her hands slightly embarrassed.

  “But,” Dani continued, “I can’t sit by and listen to my jerk friends make fun of you. They don’t even know you. I mean, I hardly know you, but in the short amount of time I’ve spent with you, I think you’re really nice. Mikey and your parents, too.” Meredith looked up and caught a pleading look in Dani’s eyes. Meredith held her gaze, but didn’t say anything. “Meredith, I just want to be your friend, but you make it kind of hard.”

  Meredith felt her own cheeks color, but not from the cold creeping into the cab of the truck. She looked down at her hands again and took a deep breath. “Dani, I...Thanks, first of all, for being so nice to my brother. And…” she hesitated for a moment before adding, “and to me, too. I’ve had such a hard time fitting in here. I don’t know why.” She picked at a loose thread on her gloves.

  “I know why. It’s because you hide. You hide behind your hair. You walk through the halls with your head down. You never make eye contact with anyone.”

  “I know. I know. It’s just that Whickett is such a big school and when I got here, I didn’t know how to fit in. I’m kind of shy, in case you haven’t noticed. You guys have all been together since kindergarten and when I tried to make friends, no one seemed to want to know me.”

  “Why not? They’re crazy.”

  “Well, maybe...”

  Dani waited. When Meredith didn’t continue she asked, “Maybe what?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe my insecurity turned them off. I had really bad acne when I first got here, so I felt ugly and freakish and insecure about it.” She was a little embarrassed admitting this to Dani, but it felt good to let some of it out. “And, I don’t know. I wasn’t—I’m not very outgoing, I guess.”

  “It must be hard being so shy.”

  “You’re not shy.”

  Dani laughed. “Not really. I don’t know how you can let them pick on you.”

  “Dani, c’mon. I’m the new girl. It’s easy for everyone to pick on me. You saw how that kid pushed me in the hallway. And Ben. He’s your friend and even he picks on me.” Meredith cringed. She hadn’t meant it to come out so scathing.

  Dani just rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure I can claim him. He’s his own person, you know?”

  “I guess. And then there’s...” Meredith paused. She wasn’t sure if she should finish her thought out loud.

  “What?”

  Meredith took another deep breath. This, especially, she had never admitted to anyone. She looked up at Dani, and searched for the trust she hoped she would find. She needn’t have worried because the look she found in Dani’s eyes made her heart melt. Compassion, caring, understanding. This time she didn’t think about capturing Dani’s expression for her AP Art portfolio. No, this time she wanted to keep those feelings all to herself. She blinked hard to stave off tears. She was losing the battle so she looked away quickly.

  “Meredith, what? And then there’s what?”

  “Mikey.”

  “Mikey? My dude? What about him?”

  “People can’t deal with things that are different. People that are different.”

  “No kidding.” Dani nodded as if she had experienced being different.

  “He and I took a lot of harassment that first year we got here. People always stare at him. They still do. You heard those kids call me names like ‘retard.’ I’m not blaming my troubles on him. Don’t get me wrong, okay? I love my Mikey Bikey, but he’s just one more thing to add to the list that makes me different.”

  “But if people could just meet him—”

  “I know. You know it, now, too, but admit it, you were a little uneasy that first time you came over.”

  Dani shifted in her seat. “Yeah, I was. But that was just because I didn’t know what to expect. I’d never met anyone with Down syndrome before.”

  “You survived, right? Most people don’t even try like you did. Most people are scared, I guess, and they use insults to deal with their fear.” Meredith sighed. “It’s just easier to be invisible.”

  “You can’t be very happy.”

  Dani hit a major nerve, which started a sudden flow of tears. Meredith cried quietly behind her hands for a few moments, but when she tried to get herself under control, a sob escaped.

  Dani flung off her seatbelt and slid across the bench seat. She put a hand on Meredith’s and pulled her toward her. Meredith resisted at first, but then let herself be consoled. She cried into Dani’s shoulder, while Dani rubbed her back. Meredith finally managed to catch her breath. “Oh, God, Dani. I’m sorry.”

  “No, I’m the one who should apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

  Meredith sat up and pulled a tissue out of her coat pocket. She dabbed at her nose. “You didn’t hurt my feelings. You just hit a nerve. I’m not happy. Not really.”

  “Can I ask you something?” “Okay.” “What was it you wanted to ask me in Mrs. Levine’s class?” “Oh. Well...” Dani flashed a smile. “C’mo
n. I said you can trust me.” “Okay. I made a sketch of you one day, at the last senior class meeting.” Dani smiled. “You did?” “Yeah, and Mrs. Levine thought it was really good. She thought I should ask you to pose for me, for my AP Art portfolio.” Actually Meredith had come up with the posing idea, but just in case Dani turned her down, she didn’t have to take too much of the hit. “But you can say no,” she added quickly.

  Dani looked surprised. “I, uh, don’t know what to say. Of course, I’ll pose if you want me to. Can I see your sketch?” “Sketches.” She emphasized the plural. “More than one?” “Uh, yeah. I’ll show you when you drop me home later.” “Cool. What do I have to do to pose?” “Well, I’m concentrating on facial expressions and the emotions they show. Your part would be easy. All you have to do is sit. Sit still. Think you can do that?” Meredith teased.

  Dani laughed, “I think I can handle that. I’d be honored to pose for you. And the emotion I’m expressing now is probably embarrassment.”

  “Yeah, I’ve seen that one before.” Meredith smiled. “And, thank you.” “No problem.” “No, I mean, thanks for sticking by me. I was mean to you on Monday in Mr. Dalton’s class. I guess I forgot what having a friend was like.” Dani smiled. “Friends. Yes. I would like to be friends.” Meredith looked at her. “Being my friend is gonna be hard.” “Why?” “A lot of people don’t seem to like me.” “I kind of know the feeling.” “You? No. No, you don’t.” Dani just smiled and said, “Well, I’m going to be your friend anyway. I can handle it. Meredith, I gotta tell you, it was killing me not talking to you during art.” “Yeah, me, too. I’m sorry. I really do want to help you understand art. On Monday, I promise we’ll start over, okay?

  I’ll be the best art tutor you’ve ever had.”

  “Deal.” Dani looked at her watch. “I think we’d better get inside because I’m starting to freeze out here. Somebody cried all over my jacket.”

  Meredith feigned a hurt look, and then she said, “Mrs. Randall, whoever she is, is probably waiting for us.”

  They signed in at the front reception desk with a tall African-American attendant named Rudy who pointed them toward the convalescence wing. They passed a couple of other Whickett students in the hallway. Dani nodded to them, but Meredith ignored them completely.

  They walked the maze to, according to Rudy, the somewhat-tricky-to-find wing. Dani said, “Meredith? Did you see just now, when Mark and Kevin passed us?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you see how I looked them in the eye and nodded to them?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I want you to do that next time we pass somebody. Don’t hide. Keep your head up. It shows people that you’ve seen them. It just, I don’t know, shows them that you’re equal. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but we’ve got to find a way to make you lose that invisibility cloak you’ve had on for the past year and a half.”

  “I don’t know if I can.”

  Dani looked at her softly. “You’ll just do what you can, okay? You can’t beat shyness overnight, right?”

  “I guess.”

  They reached an intersection in the hallways and Dani pointed left. “How about this? When we get to Mrs. Randall’s room, you introduce yourself first. Okay? I did all the talking to Rudy back there, so now it’s your turn.”

  “All right. But wait.” Meredith pulled her hair into a bundle and held her wrist out to Dani. Dani smiled because she knew what to do this time. She pulled the rubber band off and handed it to Meredith.

  “Thank you.” Meredith finished tying back her hair and took a deep breath. “Ready?”

  “Let’s go.”

  They rounded another corner and found a microscopic sign indicating the Rose M. Rothschild Memorial Convalescence wing.

  “This is it,” Dani said. “Okay, look for room 129.”

  “Here.” Meredith pointed to the room coming up on their left. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, but she sensed that having Dani in her life was going to mean big changes. Dani wanted her to take charge? Fine, she had three seconds to figure out how to do that.

  Meredith knocked lightly on the propped-open door of room 129 and saw three people in the room. The woman in the bed had snow white hair and looked to be in her seventies. This was, presumably, Mrs. Randall. A cute guy with rust-colored hair sat on the edge of the bed. He wore a dark blue suit, crisp white shirt, and a striped blue tie. He looked to be in his mid-twenties. Another woman, who also looked to be in her seventies, sat in an overstuffed armchair on the other side of the bed. This woman had silver hair and wore a long-sleeved red flannel shirt with dark blue jeans.

  The woman in the bed looked up and said, “Oh, hello girls. Are you from the high school?” When they nodded, the woman said, “Come in. Come in. What are your names?”

  Meredith went in the room first. She kept her head up and nodded to the rusty-haired man and then to the woman seated in the armchair. She held out her hand to the woman in the bed and said, “I’m Meredith Bedford, and this is my friend, Dani Lassiter.” Friend. She liked the sound of it. Meredith shook the invalid woman’s hand gently and stepped aside so Dani could reach in.

  The woman in the bed had the whitest hair Meredith had ever seen, like the color of fresh snow. Her complexion was pale, but the sparkle in her eye made Meredith smile.

  “Girls, this is so nice of you to visit. Rudy said some children from the high school might come by today.” She smoothed her covers and said, “This is my nephew. Well, I guess you’d call him my grandnephew, right Millie?” She consulted with the woman in the armchair who nodded. “This is my grandnephew, Gregory. My sister Bernice’s grandson.”

  Gregory nodded at them and stood up. “Aunt Esther, I’m going to head out. It’s a long drive back to Pearl River.” He leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. “You take care of yourself, okay? I’ll be back up next weekend to see how you’re doing. And, uh, think about what we talked about.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Tell everyone I’m fine, and I’ll be up dancing a jig any time now.”

  Grandnephew Gregory turned and nodded curtly toward the woman in the armchair. The woman in the armchair barely nodded back. He seemed nice enough, but Meredith got the distinct feeling that the woman in the armchair didn’t like him. She made a mental note to ask Dani later what she thought of him.

  “Oh girls, I’m so sorry. I’m Esther Randall, and this is Millie Bradley.” She gestured to the woman in the armchair who bounded up out of the chair and shook hands vigorously with first Dani and then Meredith.

  “Girls, good to see you.” The woman named Millie seemed genuinely glad to see them. She turned to Esther and said, “Glad he’s gone.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Millie, c’mon. He’s family,” Esther scolded.

  “He’s your family. Not mine. And what’s with the suit? I don’t trust him for a second.”

  “Millie. We have company.”

  “Okay, okay. Sorry, girls. Carry on.” Millie sat back down in the armchair and opened a crossword puzzle book Meredith had not seen earlier. The woman looked back up abruptly and said, “Oh, girls, Rudy brought in a couple of folding chairs for you.”

  Dani grabbed the chairs in an instant. She opened one up and gestured for Meredith to sit first. She then opened up the other and set it down next to Meredith.

  Meredith took the lead. She had to. She had promised. She cleared her throat and said, “Thank you so much for seeing us today. We, uh, we’re doing a school project about the history of Whickett, and I—we—thought that you might be able to tell us something about the old Victorian house on Center Street.”

  Esther’s eyes lit up, and she exchanged a quick glance with Millie. Esther said, “The old painted lady. Right, Millie?”

  “Yup, that’s her all right.”

  Meredith was perplexed. “Painted lady?”

  Esther looked at Millie and said, “They’re too young, aren’t they, dearest?”

  “Yup.”

  Esther look
ed back at Meredith and said, “Sometimes Victorian houses were called painted ladies because of the pretty colors used to paint them.”

  “Rose,” Meredith said.

  Dani shot a questioning glance her way.

  “Oh, I noticed the color the other day when I took Mikey to taekwondo.” Meredith turned back to Esther. “That shade of rose, leaning toward pink, is just lovely.”

  “I do love it. The paint’s all chipping and peeling now. Isn’t it, Millie?”

  “Yup. Been a long time since I’ve been able to do any work on her.”

  Meredith looked at Millie. “Do you own the house?”

  Millie laughed a hearty laugh. Meredith suddenly got a crazy mental picture of Millie sitting in a rocking chair, smoking a pipe, and telling tall tales of days gone by. She shook the thought out of her head and wondered where such a warped idea of this sweet old woman came from.

  “Me? Own the house?” Millie leaned her head back and laughed again. “Not me.” She nodded her head toward Esther in the bed.

  Meredith turned toward Esther. “Mrs. Randall? Do you own the house?”

  Esther scowled. “No and yes. No to the Mrs., but yes to owning the house.”

  Meredith didn’t quite know how to interpret her response. Millie seemed to pick up on that and said, “My Esther here isn’t married. Well, not in the legal sense anyway.”

  “Millie!” Esther scolded her again. Meredith got the feeling that Esther scolded Millie often.

  “Okay, okay. Sorry. I’ll just sit here and do my puzzle.” Millie leaned back in the armchair. Meredith smiled when she pictured the pipe and rocking chair again.

  “Oh, girls, don’t mind her.” Esther flipped her hand in dismissal at Millie. “She’s just crazy bored sitting here all day while my hip heals.”

  “How rude of us, Miss Randall. How are you feeling?” Meredith was careful not to use the word Mrs.

  “Oh, I’ve seen better days, my dear, but they tell me my hip wasn’t fractured too badly. It’s not broken all the way through and should heal pretty much on its own. Rudy told me they’re going to start me on physical therapy next week. I can even get around a little with that walker. Hate using it. I’m not old enough for a walker. Am I Millie?”