by Brandy Ayers
“Yes. I need you inside me, now.” Harper reached up in an effort to pull him down onto her. She longed to feel the crushing weight of his body pushing her into the hard mattress.
Before she could even touch him, he caught her wrists in his hands and pinned them above her head, his body hovering over her but not allowing it to touch her yet. It drove her mad being so close and yet not being able to feel his skin against hers.
“Gotta get something clear first, darling.”
Harper scrunched her brow up, looking at him with uncertainty.
“I haven’t been with a woman in months, and I know I’m clean. I didn’t bring a condom with me because I never want anything between us. When I’m inside you it will only be my skin against yours.” He lowered himself enough to run his nose along the column of her throat, sending sparks straight to her clit.
Harper had never been with anyone without using protection. But the idea of doing it with Jax didn’t make her nervous at all. If anything, it made her hotter.
“I want to come inside you, have a part of me stay inside you even when we aren’t together. I’m going to flood your sweet pussy with so much of my cum you’ll be feeling it inside you for days. And even when it’s gone, I’ll just fill you up again. Because that’s where my cum belongs, inside you. That’s where I belong.”
Jesus Christ. Never had anything sounded so fucking good in her life. Harper lifted her hips, desperately trying to feel him where she needed it the most. “Yes, Jax, I need that too. I’m on the pill, I’m clean, haven’t been with anyone in years.”
Jax growled against her neck. “And I’ll be the last man you’re ever with.”
His mouth crashed down on hers in a flurry of lips and tongue, eating at her mouth the same way he had her pussy, starved and desperate.
Jax shifted his hands so that one held both her wrists in place above her head, then he broke their intense kiss to lean back a little. He gripped his cock in his now free hand and rubbed it up and down her slit. Every time it grazed her clit, Harper bucked, trying to force him to enter her.
He chuckled under his breath. “So eager. You ready for me, Harper? I’m going to love watching your face as I feed my dick into your sweet hole, inch by inch. You want that?”
“God damn it, Jax, yes. Stop fucking around and get the hell inside me, now.” Harper couldn’t believe the absolute urgency surging through body. It felt as if going another minute without his big cock inside her would break her sanity.
“Say it again, my dirty girl.” He brought the tip of his cock to her opening, but only circled it around the rim, not pressing into her heat yet. “Tell me you want my cock inside you, only mine.”
A tear of frustration rolled down her cheek. “Yes, Jax, I need your cock inside me, only yours. There will never be another inside me. Please.”
Jax smiled, seemingly satisfied with her declaration. As promised, he slid himself inside her at an agonizing pace. Harper gasped as his flared head entered her. They never looked away from each other as he continued to push deeper. Pain and pleasure mixed at his intrusion. It had been so long since any man had been inside her, and Jax was larger than the average man. A deep groan rumbled in his chest and heat flared in his eyes the deeper he went. Every time Harper thought he must be fully seated, he advanced still further. Then, with one swift thrust, Jax buried himself inside her, his balls slapping against her ass as he bottomed out. The whole time he studied her face.
Harper threw her head back, screaming in sweet relief to finally be filled with this man who had so captivated her. His size had registered while she had her mouth on him of course, but having his cock filling her core to the brim couldn’t compare. He stretched her to the point of agony, but she never wanted him to leave that space.
Jax held still, letting her become accustomed to him inside her body. Slowly, Harper opened her eyes, finding and locking onto his right away since they had never left her face.
“You’re sweet cunt is gripping me so tight, Harper. It knows who it belongs to.” He flexed his hips, withdrawing barely an inch before shoving his way back in to the hilt. “Look down baby, I want you to see where we’ve become part of each other. Because just as much as I’m inside you right now, you’re inside me too. In my soul. And I’ll never let you leave.”
Harper did as he asked, shifting her gaze to take in where their bodies connected. She whimpered as he pumped several small thrusts inside her throbbing core. The vision of his cock glistening with her arousal, disappearing and reappearing inside her, made desire sweep through her at a level she had never experienced in her life.
The next time he slid from her pussy he left only the tip inside. Her juices dripped from his cock and Jax growled at the sight. “Damn woman, I almost want to eat you again so I can taste all that honey. Seems a shame to let it go to waste.”
“So help me god, Jax, if you take your dick out of me I will murder you.” Harper narrowed her eyes at him and flexed her hips, trying in vain to get him to bury himself inside her once more.
“Such a greedy girl.” He leaned down, taking her lips with his again, sucking on the bottom one first before switching to the top and then pushing his tongue inside her mouth for a slower kiss. “Is it so bad I wish I could taste you and fuck you at the same time?”
“Let go of my hand.”
Concern painted his face. “Am I hurting you?”
“No, just let go for a second. I want to do something.”
Jax complied with her request, because the fact was that even though he had taken the position of power, Harper held all the cards, and he knew it. Once he released his grip, Jax planted his hands on the bed next to her head. Harper reached down between their bodies with one hand and wrapped it around his shaft while the head of his cock still rested inside her. Slowly she dragged her hand up and down his length, jerking him off while he remained inside her. Her hand followed the line of his cock to where it merged into her pussy, then swirled two fingers in the creamy product of her pleasure.
Bringing her fingers back from where they joined together, Harper trailed them around Jax’s lips, spreading her nectar over them. “Suck, handsome. And for the love of all that is holy, fuck me.”
Jax opened his mouth, drawing in her coated fingers. His satisfied moan almost set Harper off on another orgasm. Never before had a man showed so much need for her flavor. Immediately he began pistoning his hips in and out of her pussy, no longer taking it slow and gentle, but driving into her with an inescapable force that thrilled Harper. The combined sensation of his hot tongue cleaning her fingers as he fucked her like a man possessed brought her to the edge faster than she ever expected.
She pulled her legs up, wrapping them around his hips and meeting each of his thrusts with one of her own so that they slapped together in the middle. The hand that wasn’t held hostage inside his needy mouth gripped his tight ass, urging him to move faster, harder.
With a pop Jax released her fingers, but immediately brought his empty mouth to her tits, biting and sucking at her tingling nipples. She brought her now clean fingers to his hair, gripping it so she could push his mouth harder against her chest. Every sting of his teeth on her pebbled peaks got soothed away with reverent licks before he switched breasts and repeated the process.
Lightning surged through Harper’s body, setting every nerve ending on fire. It had to stop at some point; her pleasure couldn’t just keep building and building without tipping over the edge. She panted and screamed, biting her lip trying to prevent the crazed sounds. Finally, after climbing so high she lost all concept of time, Jax brought one hand down between them, pinching her clit between his thumb and finger. At the same time he tilted his hips up so that he hit some magical spot inside her that Harper had been sure romance novels lied about. Just like that, Harper’s entire being splintered. Sparks of color flew behind her eyes. Her nails dug into Jax’s ass. The entire world seemed to center on the sweet explosion wrecking her body.
As
the most intense orgasm of her life began to ebb away, Harper opened her eyes to find Jax staring at her with hunger in his eyes. “Again.”
“No. Couldn’t. Possibly,” she panted out as best she could in her weakened state.
“Yes, you fucking can. And you will.” Jax shifted on his knees, gripped her legs and brought them over his shoulders. In that position his cock hit directly on the spot inside her that had sent her flying. He splayed his enormous hand onto her belly, pushing down to increase the contact as he pummeled the bundle of nerves inside her core, over and over again. His thumb stayed buried between her lower lips, pressing down on her clit.
It should have been impossible after already coming so hard that she saw stars, but Jax apparently knew her body better than she did. Within a minute of his renewed assault, a second, even more intense orgasm ripped through Harper. She screamed a string of nonsensical words and syllables, gripped the sheets until her fingers stung with pain.
Jax grunted; his hips moved in increasingly irregular thrusts as he chased his own release. With one last push he buried himself inside her to the hilt, gripping her hips so tightly Harper knew there would be bruises there the next day. She couldn’t wait to see them blossom on her pale skin, evidence of their perfect mating.
The pulsing of his cock inside her as he bathed her pussy with his hot cum sent her into another small orgasm. Before he lost control of his body, Jax lowered her legs, wrapped her in his arms and flopped to the side, bringing her to rest on top of his chest.
They both panted and sucked in breaths as their intense orgasms gradually receded. Jax trailed his hands up and down Harper’s sweat covered back. But Harper couldn’t even find the strength to move her fingers. She simply lay with her ear pressed against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart as it returned to a normal rhythm. A sense of peace she had never known in her life overcame her. At that moment there was no doubt in her mind; she had found her home. But it wasn’t a place; it was a man.
***
Harper’s mind wouldn’t quiet, even after the multiple orgasms Jax had given her. Her swirling thoughts had abated for a little while after their impossibly intense sex. But now that the pleasure and adrenaline had seeped from her body, the thoughts snuck their way back in.
Dancing at The Beanstalk the night before had been close to torture. Now that she knew what it was like to have Jax’s hands, mouth, and cock all over her, she wasn’t sure she could go back. But she didn’t have a choice; she had a little girl to care for.
“Hey, what’s going on in that head? You were all loose and relaxed a minute ago. Now your muscles are bunched again.” He brought his lips closer to her ear, whispering in a husky voice. “Do I need to make you come again?” His large hands ran up and down her back, soothing the tension in her body slightly, before sliding down to grip her ass.
Even with her worried mind, she couldn’t help but giggle at his ravenous ways. Next to her thigh draped across his legs, his cock stirred, hardening and lengthening again despite their hours of intense fucking.
Reaching down, Harper trailed her fingers over the growing organ. She had no real goal in mind, simply enjoyed the feel of his hard muscle covered in soft skin gliding against her palm and fingertips. She’d always been a fidgeter, and it was there begging to be played with, so she didn’t even try to resist the strange compulsion.
Jax covered her hand with his, stopping her lazy ministrations. “Babe, as much as I love your hands on me, I want to know what is in that big brain of yours.”
“I’ll tell you. I just always think better when I do something with my hands.”
He chuckled, releasing her hand. “Please, don’t let me stop you. I’m here to help in any way I can.”
Harper resumed her gentle toying, closing her eyes to gather her thoughts before trying to explain. “I have no idea what this thing is between us. I know I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”
“Neither have I, Harper.” Jax kissed the top her head. “But I think this is what it’s like when you start to fall.”
“There’s so much you don’t know about me. And I know next to nothing about you. But when I think about any other man seeing me naked right now, it makes me want to throw up.”
Jax’s body stiffened beneath her for a moment, but then he relaxed and Harper thought perhaps she had imagined his reaction. “That’s because you know you belong to me. We may not know everything about each other yet, but I know your heart. I look into your eyes and I can see the depth of your beauty. Not just what you look like on the outside,”—he ran his hands up and down her arms and back—“but how you are inside. You try and shut it off. I see you locking down your emotions every night at work. But I also see it for the act it is. That girl up there on the stage isn’t you. That’s just the place you’ve found yourself for now.”
Harper’s heart lodged firmly in her throat at his beautiful words. For such a gruff man, he moved her more than she thought another human ever could. She shifted so that her arms crossed over his chest and she rested her chin on her hands, gazing up at his captivating face. With his dick now out of reach she switched to fidgeting with his beard, running her fingers through it and twisting sections together. The memory of those coarse hairs abrading her thighs just hours ago made her blush and blood start pumping to her clit again. As much as she wanted to climb on his lap and welcome him into her body again, they needed to talk. Get things in the open.
“As crazy as it sounds, I do know I belong to you. My body knew it the moment I saw you. I’ve felt like I was dead inside and out for years, Jax. But when we first talked I felt myself again. My heart, my stomach, my clit, they all reacted to you instantly, even as I tried to rationalize those reactions away in my head. But you knew.” Harper closed her eyes, wishing she didn’t have to tell him about her dark past, desperately wanting to stay in the light with him and never consider those days gone by again.
Keeping them closed, Harper gathered her strength and started in on the story. As she told him about how she grew up, her mother, dead father and sister, and the little girl that she lived for, his hands stilled on her back, and his body grew tight beneath her. She could feel him closing down and pulling away, even as they stayed pressed together.
A tear formed despite her attempts to hold it back, and rolled down her cheek to pool on his chest. She cried not because of her history; she long ago exhausted all the tears available concerning her circumstances. No, she cried because she had no doubt in her fucked up mind that her history would cost her their future.
Chapter 11
Jax
There were things Jax had done in his past that he took no pride in. Innocent people he’d manipulated in the name of a case. He’d killed in the line of duty during his time in the Army Special Forces. Beaten men to prove his standing in criminal organizations while undercover. But despite not being proud of those things, he never felt guilt over them. A greater good was at stake. You did what you had to do to protect and serve your country.
For the first time, guilt seized him and wouldn’t let go. He lay beneath the woman of his dreams and let her pour out her heart, tears tracking down her face, and he could say nothing. He knew her story. Knew what she had sacrificed for that little girl. Knew the demons she faced day in and day out. But he couldn’t tell her that.
No matter how many times he reminded himself that in less than a day he could tell her the truth, it didn’t help the sour feeling in his stomach at deceiving the woman he had fallen so quickly for.
He could do one thing though; keep her safe. And he made an oath at that moment that his life from that day forward would be centered on making Harper Ryan safe and happy. Every day he would make up for the pain she felt now. No matter what.
The apartment fell silent as she finished her story. Jax struggled with how to respond. Everything that came to mind felt like a lie, and he couldn’t stand lying to her any more than he already had.
Abruptl
y, Harper rolled off him and sat on the edge of the bed, looking around the apartment for something.
“What are you doing?” He sat up, watching as she walked to their hastily tossed aside clothes and reached for her panties.
“Listen, I get it. I’ve got a lot of baggage, and I understand if this is all too much for you. At least we found out now before anyone got hurt.” The stubborn woman kept her back to him as she pulled on the baggy shirt with the name of some sci-fi show Jax had never heard of before.
But he recognized when she shut down. He’d been watching it happen almost every night for two weeks. This shit would not happen with him.
“Hey, stop.” Jax stood from the bed, and padded over to keep her from bending to pick up her jeans and put them on.
“It’s fine, Jax. But I have to get some sleep before work tonight. As you now know, I have a little girl to take care of.” Harper turned, surprising Jax with the abrupt move and the plea in her eyes. “Just do me a favor and don’t mention Rose to anyone at the club. Only Kandy knows and that’s only because we grew up together. I don’t want them to have something to hold over my head.”
