Wild Cards

by R. C. Stephens

  “Okay,” she agreed and turned to walk inside. I followed her into the lobby or at least a small room with a front desk. The place was old, dusty, and smelled like dirty socks.

  I followed her past a narrow hallway with a staircase, the place looked grungier the deeper we got. I followed her up the stairs. I didn’t like her staying here, it was awful and she was too perfect. We reached a door and she fiddled in her purse for her keys. When she retrieved a key, she turned it in the rusty knob, and the key jammed. Every bone in my body wanted to ask her out, I had to see her again. I didn’t want this to end now, but how would I ask her out? Dr. Davies told me I should date, the fact that I was thinking of Dr. Davies in this very moment was crazy enough. The old me would have never thought twice about this. I was overwhelmed by the need to keep her safe, even if it meant from me.

  She turned her head to face me, my palms were sweaty, this was it…. “Why are you in New York, Luc?” she asked with sad eyes, throwing me completely off. I thought she was going to say good-bye and thanks for the ride, but it was open game.

  “I wanted to start a new life and I ended up in this city, it’s complicated like you said, but it’s been home for two years.” My lip tugged up at the corner. I was not sure if my answer even made sense.

  “I guess life is just complicated, no one promises you as a kid that life will be free sailing, it is what it is,” she answered sadly. My heart twisted. This girl was in a lot of pain. I knew what it was like. I had been there. I was still struggling.

  My thumb brushed the side of her cheek gently, I wanted to console her; I was more than surprised that I touched her without overthinking it in my head a hundred times. She reveled in my touch and rubbed her cheek against my hand. Her soft skin sent awareness to every part of my body. Every part of me that had been put to sleep for the past two years was slowly coming to life. I took a big gulp of air. Her green eyes bored into mine and I could see that she wanted me to kiss her perfect red lips. I wanted to claim every part of her, but I maintained the control that I’d worked so hard to build. I didn’t give in. It wouldn’t be honest of me to do that. I was a man that learned from his mistakes.

  “Goodnight, Vicky,” I said, forcing myself to pull away from her.

  “Wait,” she said, looking at me with the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.

  Despite her request, I took a few more steps backward. “I have to go, Vicky. Trust me, I’m a monster; it’s better off this way. You take care.” I knew I needed distance between us or else I would possess her body in less than ten seconds and that couldn’t happen. Her lips turned down and she closed the door without another word. The loss of contact washed over me and I hated myself in this moment, for being me, for being a monster, for living the life I had lead. I walked back out to my bike feeling crushed, knowing that there was a woman who could still take my breath away, and knowing that I could do nothing about it. The hopelessness I had been feeling for an eternity washed over me like a fresh blanket. All I could do was get back on my bike and drown in my sorrow.

  Chapter 5

  Vicky

  The moment the door shut, I turn the deadbolt. As brave as I tried to be, this place did freak me out. Holding onto Luc as he drove through the streets of New York, inhaling his scent, and finally having him walk me to the door, made me feel things that I didn’t want to be feeling. My heart beat fast and I felt alive, but it wasn’t welcome. I wanted to feel numb, I was used to my solemn loneliness and there was no room in my life for love. Just thinking the word love made me cringe. All the relationships I’ve ever had, all those that I have loved have only lead to disappointment. I didn’t see a reason to put myself through something like that again. I’m not a masochist, a loner maybe, but not a masochist. I can’t handle pain. It is something that I learned the hard way when I suffered the consequences of a guy beating me and raping me two years ago, but I was in a bad place then. Not much has changed, only that back then my situation was still fresh and I was still adjusting. I still had nightmares about the man. His dark eyes, the horrible things he did to me, but they were more spread apart now and I worked hard to think good thoughts before I go to bed, so my mind doesn’t drift back to the demon who shattered the last bits of me. It also took months for my back and my ass to fully heal. I still have the scars to remind me about what a mistake I had made leaving the sex club with a cute sophisticated stranger. I learned about cruelty that night. I learned what it meant to be a monster and Luc didn’t fit the description.

  Even with his own fear and uncertainty in his eyes. I could have sworn there was an attraction between us. The electricity jolted my numb body to life as his eyes landed on me and devoured me with his stare alone. I was drawn to him in ways that I never knew existed. When he walked me to the door, I found myself practically begging for him to kiss me. He looked like he might have wanted to for a moment. He slightly leaned forward and I felt myself salivating waiting for his touch, but then he declined and his jaw began to tick as if he were suddenly repulsed by something. I understood, he was a rich guy bringing me home to this shithole. I bet he thought he could do a lot better than me.

  Just as I was about to give myself a large dose of self-loathing, loud moaning sounds reverberate from the room across the hall causing me to cringe. What was I thinking coming to this damn city? I call Nessa, hoping that a conversation with her will distract me from the overachievers across the hall.

  Two rings later she picked up. “Vick, OMG, are you safe, is everything okay?” she asked gasping into the phone.

  “Do not tell me that you’ve picked up the phone in the middle of sex Nessa because I swear….” I trailed off.

  “Vick, give me some credit. I’m cleaning the bar for Ed. We just closed so I’m huffing and puffing away. I have to cut back on smoking. I’m only twenty-two and listen to me,” she chuckled with a throaty cough into the phone.

  I wanted to tell her she shouldn’t smoke because of what happened to her mom, but I know that statement won’t faze her. Instead I feel the need to tell her about Luc. “I met someone tonight,” I said hesitantly into the phone. Nessa is my partner in crime for sex parties. Monogamy didn’t fit into our lifestyle of choice nor do relationships. What I was confessing went against every moral we believed in.

  “Vick, wow, I knew the day would come, but you’ve only been in New York for less than a day,” she cackled.

  “It’s not like that Nessa. I went to a party, I met him there but there was something about him…” I trailed off. I knew I my voice sounded a little dreamy but Luc was dreamy.

  “I’ve heard that one before, but really Vick, developing a crush on a guy that attends parties probably won’t end well.”

  “I know, Nessa, it’s nothing…I don’t even know why I mentioned it,” I chided myself. What was I thinking telling Nessa, the queen of unchasteness?

  “Well, guess who came into Ed’s tonight?”

  “Who?” I asked, not having a clue whom would be of interest.

  “Jamie,” she said with challenge in her tone. Great, what did he want? “He said he heard you left town and he wanted me to tell him where you were. He said he loves you and wants to bring you home.”

  “You didn’t tell him where I am did you, Nessa?” I asked, hoping that she didn’t tell my scum bag of an ex-boyfriend where I was.

  “I didn’t say a word, Vick. Relax. The boy is determined though…he gave me a whole spiel about making a mistake and he is what you need,” she said, repeating his words with a hint of sarcasm. I nervously played with my hair while the sting of his lack of loyalty resonated.

  “Damn, it’s been over two years, why can’t he just let us go?”

  “You’re unforgettable, Vick, do you even need to ask?” She laughed and began to cough again.

  “Well, thank you for not telling him. I don’t want to stay on the phone long with the long distance charges. I just wanted to let you know I am okay. Thanks for not giving me up to Jamie. If he comes ba
ck don’t cave, okay?”

  “Well, honestly, Vick, the boy is super hot but I get that he screwed you over. I won’t tell him. I miss you though. Is tomorrow the big day?”

  “Yeah, tomorrow’s the day,” I responded letting out a breath. “Goodnight, Nessa. I will be in touch and let you know how things go.”

  “Thanks, Vick, you take care.”

  “Bye, Ness.”

  I pressed the end button of the call and exhaled a long calming breath. Tomorrow is a big day I needed get some sleep.

  Luckily the overachievers across the hall had simmered down. I slipped out of my red dress and lingerie, feeling completely defeated and dug my hand inside my duffle bag in search of pajamas.

  Crawling into the grungy bed, I quivered. I leaned over to check my phone as I do every night before I fall asleep. I hoped that Joe, my older brother, would finally answer one of my text messages but he never does. I haven’t seen him for a year and a half. He took off without a trace. I know we all deal with pain differently, but I was disappointed that he abandoned me, he had always watched out for me when we were younger. It was out of character for him, but after what happened to us, I knew we would never be the same again. The only thing that gave me some sort of calm was the fact that his messages turned up as read. It meant he had gotten my messages but was not willing to respond.

  As I lay staring at the yellowing ceiling, I cultivated a plan of how I would introduce myself to Bryce Andrews, the business tycoon. It wouldn’t be easy to get an appointment with him, and that was assuming that he would even agree to see me.

  I reached over to my purse and read the letter I have been reading for the last two years before I closed my eyes each night.

  After reading her words and allowing them to penetrate my soul once more, I folded the letter back up and placed it in the same inner pocket of my purse. I thought when everything got shot to hell that it would take time and I would return to school, but I never went back to finish my engineering degree. I promised myself that one day I would finish, but that day hadn’t come yet. It was hard enough waking up in the morning, let alone forcing my sorry ass to study.

  As exhaustion overwhelmed me I gave in to sleep.

  ***

  My cell phone buzzed after what felt like a brief moment. I looked at the screen realizing it was my alarm and it was morning. I trudged out of bed and put on my flip-flops, not wanting to touch the grungy floors still. I slipped into the shower and began to ready myself for the purpose of my trip to New York City – to meet Bryce Andrews. We had some unfinished business to hash out and maybe I would find some peace along the way. I had to shower fast, not wanting to breathe in the mold growing along the grout. I knew enough to understand how unhealthy that was. I used the same towel as last night thankful I brought a towel from home. I wrapped my hair up and headed over to my duffle bag. I brought church clothes for my meeting. I figured I needed something nice and professional to walk into that building because from what I read online he owned an empire.

  I slipped on the dark grey pencil skirt and button up my fitted short sleeve white blouse. I don’t have the fanciest of wardrobes. After brushing out my dark straight hair and putting on some light pink gloss, I was ready. As my nerves went into overdrive my shirt stuck to my skin, as I imagined the very different reactions Bryce Andrews would have. With my heels on, I gazed into the hazy bathroom mirror to see how I looked. Then I chided myself for caring.

  ***

  It’s a relief to leave the motel and breathe in some fresh air, although the New York air is definitely not as fresh as Thunder Bay. It was a grey fall day, and the wind was blowing as I walk down the sidewalk in search of the bus stop or maybe a cab. My stomach gurgled as I smelled the sensuous smell of fresh bread wafting out of a nearby store window. I entered the small bakery and purchased a warm croissant. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate. Yellow cabs swiftly buzzed by and I contemplated how I could snag one for myself. Paying closer attention to others catching a cab, I followed their routine of stepping out and hailing one down. I must be doing something wrong because they continued to zip by, not understanding my gesture.

  “Here Miss, you gotta do it like this.” A young handsome guy wearing a suit and overcoat came up behind me and waved his hand. A cab stopped in front of him instantly and he stepped inside the backseat. I crossed my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes at him, big help he was.

  “Where are you headed?” he asked with a smirk.

  “Manhattan,” I replied.

  “Get in, so am I.”

  I figured it would be okay. He looked professional. I entered the cab feeling very much out of my element.

  “I’m Brent Barron by the way,” he said extending his hand and holding a briefcase on his lap.

  “Vicky Molino,” I replied curtly.

  “Nice to meet you, Vicky,” he smiled kindly. He was good looking with short brown hair and brown eyes. He was clean-shaven and his suit looked snug, revealing a fit body.

  “Thanks.”

  “So where in Manhattan are you headed?”

  “I need Tyson Towers please,” I said to the taxi driver in the front seat. He nodded looking back at me in the rearview mirror.

  “I’m headed over to Tyson also,” Brent said with his eyebrows arched up. “What are you going there for?” He caught me off guard with that question and I didn’t respond, I thought to myself that I had better come up with a story. “Okay, well then.” Brent shrugged his shoulders when I didn’t respond. “I’m Director of Accounting for Tyson Pharmaceuticals,” he explained and I tugged my lip up on one side. This is awkward. Fuck. I’m starting to shake.

  The cab stopped in front of Tyson Towers; there was a huge stone sign in front of the building with the name. I reached into my purse to give the cabbie half the fare.

  “Don’t worry about it, Vicky, we had the same stop,” Brent said with a soft smile.

  “Thanks.” I shrugged, feeling like I should give him a full wattage smile now that he’d saved me the cab fare.

  “You really are stunning,” he said while fixated on my face. Then he flinched a bit and said, “Here maybe I can direct you, you don’t seem like a New Yorker and this place has two connecting towers.” That would be great, Brent, if I knew where I was going.

  “Oh, thanks,” I responded, feeling my stomach flipping on me. My jaw dropped as I gazed at the towers and I started to get cold feet. Maybe it was a big mistake coming here.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Brent asked with a concerned tone. “You look a little pale.”

  “What, uh, uh…” I took a deep breath and steadied myself knowing that I must have turned green. “I’m fine, thanks.”

  His brows met together as the air between us grew more uncomfortable by the second. “Where did you say you were headed?” he asked again. I’m not even sure what he was still doing here standing with me, he must think I’m crazy. I don’t answer half his questions and I’m disoriented.

  “To Bryce Andrews' office,” I replied, squaring my shoulders.

  His mouth dropped open, I didn’t think he was expecting that. “He’s the boss, you know that right? He usually doesn’t meet with just anyone. I’ve been working here for three years. I head one of his departments, and I just met him last year for the first time,” he explained sympathetically. I could tell Brent was a nice guy, he meant well, and he had a good job. He was clearly interested in me, but I had nothing to offer to a nice hometown boy like him.

  “I know, I need to interview him,” I said wondering where that lie erupted from. Brent shrugged his shoulders and said, “Follow me.” I followed him into the tower on the right. There were two young women working at a front desk and they smiled at him. We both passed through security together. I got stopped a moment longer when the security guard riffled through my purse. I followed him to the elevators, and I waited beside him as my eyes fixated on the numbers lighting up as the elevator made its way down to the ground level. There are forty
floors in the building. Holy fuck. I tapped my heel nervously, when Brent looked down to my foot then back up to my face I realized what I was doing, so I stopped.

  “Oh, sir.” Brent turned around to a tall man. He was over six foot with dark brown hair and grey eyes. He was wearing a very expensive dark navy suit with a red tie. If I didn’t know whom the president was, I would think this guy was him because his aura leaked power. The man nodded at Brent in return.

  “Vicky, this is Bryce Andrews,” Brent explained motioning to Bryce with his hand. I’m caught off guard. I’m not ready yet. This was not how I pictured meeting him for the first time. My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat. Get your shit together, Vicky, you have one chance and this was it. He looked different in real life than he did on the Internet.

  “Very nice to meet you, Vicky,” Bryce said with a genuine smile, extending his hand politely. I extended my hand in return but I’m tongue-tied, not a word left my lips.

  The elevator door dinged then opened up and we all walked into the elevator. Brent looked over to me warily. “Do you actually know him?” Brent whispered quietly.

  “It’s a long story,” I whispered back. Fuck I needed to calm down. Bryce was standing off to the side and a few more people had entered the elevator, all of them addressing their boss as they entered. Brent gave a knowing nod. He got off the elevator on the fortieth floor along with Bryce and I. Bryce walked past his secretary, a young blonde with long hot pink nails typing away at her desktop. She smiled at him seductively then continued her work.

  Brent motioned for me to follow him, so I do. The floors were all white marble, the walls pure white with mahogany wood trimmings and planters lined against a wall with a quaint waterfall. The place had a feng shui feel to it.

  “Hello,” Brent said smiling to the beautiful blonde secretary. She smiled back to him with the same seductive smile she gave Bryce a few moments before.