Trying Not To Love You

by Megan Smith

  I turned on the stool I was sitting on to face Bentley, "I'm going to go look for Dominic. He should have been back by now." Bentley put both his hands on the tops of my thighs, and I froze.

  "No, uh…," he looked over my shoulder, and then back at me, "You'll never find him with all the people in there. Plus, you don't know your way around. I'll go get him. You stay here, just in case Hailey shows up looking for you."

  He released my thighs and walked past me. I let out the breath I did not realize I was holding. That was strange. I followed Bentley with my eye, and that was when I saw what exactly was holding Dominic up. Some girl was grinding herself all up on him, and kissing his neck. Being nearly tipsy from all the refills Bentley gave me, I stormed over to where Dominic was.

  I shoved his shoulder. "What the fuck was that Dominic?"

  He tried to grab my hand, but I yanked it back. "Baby what are you talking about; I was just telling her I had to go find you."

  "Kenzie, what's wrong?" Hailey asked from behind me. Now she shows up.

  "Stop the bullshit Dominic. I saw you dancing with her, and she was kissing your neck. You just left me in the fucking kitchen, waiting for you to come back." I looked back at Hailey, "I think I have had enough fun for one night. I'm leaving."

  "Baby…," he started to say something, but I cut him off by grabbing Hailey's arm, and pulling her towards the front door. After what we just did outside, how he was doing this to me? What happened to the Dominic that made me feel as if I was his whole world?

  Hailey pulled her arm, causing me to stop walking and turn around to look at her. "Kenzie, wait a second. I was just coming to find you to tell you I was going to stay with Logan for the night."

  "Shit! Hailey, you just met him and you are already going to spend the night with him? Do you think that is such a good idea after you have been drinking?"

  Looking past me over to where Logan was standing, she gave him an I'm sorry look, and then she nodded her head at me. "Okay let's get out of here."

  I knew we both had not made many friends here at school since we had only been here a week. It was not fair to Hailey for me to guilt her into coming home with me tonight.

  "No, no it's okay Hailey. You stay here and have some fun. I'm going to go out front and call a cab to come pick me up. Send me a text in the morning when you wake up, and please, be careful."

  She gave me a hug, "Are you sure? I know he'll understand. We both have been drinking pretty heavy, so we were just going to stay here anyway. Logan knows Bentley, and he said we could take the extra bedroom for the night."

  I gave Hailey a kiss on the cheek. "Yeah I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

  I was upset, and on the verge of breaking down in tears. I needed to get out of here. I opened the front door, and ran right into a hard chest. Groaning to myself for not paying attention, I mumbled, "I'm sorry," and tried to move around him. He kept blocking my path so I could not move past him. I looked up, wondering what the hell this guy's problem was. I started to tell him to get the fuck out of my way, but was shocked to see that it was Hunter.

  I was frozen in place by his piercing blue eyes. "W-what are you doing here? You're a little late for the party."

  He broke eye contact, and looked me up and down, "I live here CC. Where you off to by yourself, and where the hell is Hailey?"

  The beer was starting to catch up to me. My words were slurring. "Dominic and I got into a fight, Hailey is going to stay here with Logan and I'm going home. If you could move out of my way now, I need to go out front and call a cab to come get my ass."

  Hunter put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. "First, you're not calling a fucking cab. Second, you aren't going anywhere. You can stay here tonight, in my room. I'd take you home, but I'm too damn tired, and I don't want you to stay by yourself like this."

  Hiccupping, I said, "I can call a cab. You don't need to take me home. I'm a big girl." Damn Bentley, and the way he kept refilling my cup!

  Hunter did not respond, and I did not have the energy to fight anymore. I knew I was going to lose this battle. Hunter guided me up the stairs to what I assumed was his bedroom. Once he unlocked the door, he flipped the light on, pulled me inside and then locked the door behind him. He walked to his dresser, put his keys down, took out his wallet from his back pocket and placed that on the dresser as well.

  "I have my own bathroom over there." He pointed to another door. He opened his drawer, pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and handed them to me. "Here, you can sleep in this, because you sure as hell can't sleep in that."

  I grabbed the clothes he handed me and made my way to the bathroom to change and wash my face. As I walked out of the bathroom, I saw Hunter grab a pillow, and a blanket from the bed and place them both on the couch that was up against the wall.

  "What are you doing?" I asked.

  He turned to look at me as if I asked a stupid question, "I'm sleeping on the couch. You can take my bed."

  I shook my head, "No, I'll take the couch. I'm smaller than you."

  "CC, no, just take the bed. I'm fine on the couch."

  "Fine, I'll take the bed, but only if you sleep with me. I can't have you giving up your bed for me."

  He looked at me for a minute before he grabbed the pillow and blanket off the couch, and put them back on his bed. I climbed in while Hunter stripped down to his boxers, and then he climbed in too. After laying there for a few minutes staring at the ceiling, I looked over at Hunter, who was also looking at the ceiling.

  "Thanks for letting me crash here. I hope this isn't going to be weird for you. I can go sleep on the couch. I really don't mind."

  Turning his head, he looked at me with a painful expression. "This isn't weird CC. It's not like we've never fallen asleep together before." He grabbed an extra pillow that he had thrown at the foot of the bed and positioned it between us. "There, just like we used to have it."

  Sighing, I said, "It's too loud out there; I'll never be able to fall asleep like this."

  Hunter reached over, careful not to touch me, and grabbed the remote to turn the radio on. The radio stared playing Trying Not To Love You.

  When he laid back down, I looked over at him and whispered, "Thanks." Then I flipped to my other side to try to get some sleep. I was thoroughly exhausted from the events of the night, and just wanted to shut my brain off for a while. I would deal with all the other problems tomorrow.

  I heard Hunter mumble, "Nice fucking song," to himself and that was the last thing I remember.

  When I woke up the next morning, Hunter was still sound asleep on his stomach, turned in my direction, with his right hand tucked under his face. He looked so at ease. Despite having a hangover, I had one of the best nights of sleep in a long time. I laid there for a little while watching his back rise and fall with every breath he took, but nature called. I got up as quietly as I could and went into the bathroom. While I was in there, I looked in his cabinets for some pain reliever to help with my slight hangover from the night before. After I took some, I made my way down to the kitchen to get something to drink.

  I walked down the stairs, and I could not believe my eyes when I reached the bottom. The house was a mess, and there were people passed out everywhere. I looked across the living room to the couch, and just about died at what I saw. Two girls were duct taped to it. I shook my head and mumbled to myself, "Looks like they aren't getting up anytime soon." I made my way toward what I was hoping was the kitchen. As I approached, I saw a guy duct taped to the bathroom door. I mumbled to myself again, "What is it with people being duct taped to shit?" Walking back down the hallway, I passed a guy asleep on the floor. Someone had taken black marker and had drawn all over his face, arms and legs. In the kitchen, there were still a few people playing poker. I grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge, and headed back upstairs. I walked past a huge window at the top of the stairs, and looked outside. I noticed the picnic table had been set on fire at some point during the night, and there was a guy
and a girl sleeping on an air mattress in the pool.

  Shaking my head at the mess left behind, I opened the door quietly to Hunter's room, hoping that I wouldn't wake him up. I was surprised to find Hunter sitting up and running his hand through his hair.

  "Damn it CC, I thought you left." He was pissed.

  As calmly as I could, I said, "Relax Hunter, I just went to find something to drink."

  "Fuck! I'm sorry. I thought you had left me." He pointed towards the fridge that was in the corner of his room. Somehow, I had missed that earlier. "There's water and orange juice in there."

  I sat on his bed and pulled the covers over my legs. "Sorry, didn't see that over there. I wish I had though," I started giggling. "You don't want to go out there. Your house is trashed."

  He looked up to the ceiling. "I'm not surprised. Every time Bentley throws a party at the beginning of the year, this shit happens. He hires a cleaning company to come clean all that."

  "Thank God, because it's going to take forever to get that shit cleaned up. You should see the people duct taped downstairs."

  Groaning, he looks over at me. "Are you serious?"

  I shook my head at him. "There is some guy that was colored with a Sharpie all over. That shit is going to take forever to clean off."

  "At least the police weren't called this time." Hunter got up and adjusted his boxers. "I'm going to jump in the shower, and then I'll take you home."

  "Ok, sounds good. I'm going to go back to sleep; wake me up when you're ready." I laid down, pulled the covers up to my neck and watched Hunter walk across the room to the bathroom. God, he was a sight to look at. He has one of the nicest asses I have ever seen. One of my favorite tattoos was on his upper right arm, praying hands holding Rosary beads and above that, it said Only God Can Judge Me in old English lettering.

  He must have sensed me staring, because he turned around and winked. I pulled the blankets up to my nose, trying to cover that fact that I was blushing because he caught me, but I could not tear my eyes away. When he closed the bathroom, I kicked my feet and squealed like a little girl. I could not believe I actually spent the night with him, alone, and in his clothes.

  A while later, the sound of my phone buzzing woke me up. Rolling over on my side, I picked it up off the bed. There was a text message from Hailey asking me where I was. I checked the time. Christ, I was asleep for two hours.

  I could not help but wonder where the hell Hunter was, and why he didn't wake me up. I sat up and jumped in surprise. He was sitting at the foot of the bed watching me. "Damn you scared me. Why didn't you wake me up?"

  He shrugged. "I like you sleeping in my bed. You looked so relaxed."

  "Have you been watching me sleep the whole time?" God I hope I did not talk in my sleep.

  "No, after my shower I tried to wake you up, but you weren't having it. I went for a run, and just came back and took another shower."

  "Well, thanks for letting me sleep in."

  He went over to his dresser. "Do you want a pair of sweat pants to put on for the ride home? I don't think it's a good idea for you put that dress back on."

  I did not answer him. There was no way I could go back to campus wearing his clothes. Dominic would flip his shit. I took off the t-shirt I was wearing, threw it in the corner with the rest of his dirty clothes and stood in only my bra, and his boxers. I heard him gasp. Since I now had his attention, I decided to throw a little flirting back at him. I picked my dress up off the floor and slid it on. Then, I reached under my dress and slowly started pulling the boxers down; I glanced back and saw him watching me intently.

  Smirking at him, I winked and asked, "See something you like?"

  He shook his head at me. "You have no idea." He mumbled just loud enough for me to make out what he said. "We have to get the hell out of here." He grabbed his keys, hat and wallet and opened the door, saying over his shoulder, "I'll meet you downstairs, so hurry up."

  After running into the bathroom and throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I met Hunter downstairs. I was still laughing at the chaos that was all around when I asked him, "So, how did you become roommates with Bentley?"

  Hunter ushered me out the front door, "I uh, helped his sister out last year."

  I did not like that answer and was content to drop the conversation, but he continued as he opened the truck door for me. "It's not what you think CC. Bentley had a party here last year. Things got a little out of hand with a football player. He wasn't taking no for an answer from her, so I taught him a lesson."

  "Where is his sister now?" I certainly hoped she did not live there with him.

  "She dropped out of school and moved back home."

  Thank God!

  "She was ok though, right?" I asked, wondering what he meant by the football player not taking no for an answer.

  "No, not at first, but she is getting better."

  Hunter shut the door, got in the driver's side and we drove back to campus. He dropped me off and said he would call me later on to check up on me. I walked into my room and Hailey was lying on her bed watching TV.

  "Where have you been? You never texted me back last night."

  "I ran into Hunter as I was leaving. He wouldn't let me go by myself so I stayed with him last night." I sat down on my bed and kicked my shoes off. "When did you get back?"

  "Last night. I felt bad about you coming home alone after what happened at the party. Now I wish I hadn't."

  "Sorry, I should have texted you." I really did not want to know but asked anyway. "What happened after I left last night?"

  "I don't think you want to know Kenzie." She looked over at me then continued, "You really need to open your eyes, and see what is going on. He's not the same guy he was when you first started dating."

  "Just tell me what happened? I feel him changing too, but I need him. I know you don't understand."

  "That girl he was dancing with…" When I nodded at her, she continued. "He stormed off with her after you left. A little while later, they came back."

  I gazed over at the picture of Dominic and me on my desk, remembering all the fun times I had with him. "Do you think he cheated on me?"

  "Kenzie look at me." I turned towards her, tears on the verge of spilling. God, I hope he did not. "No, not that I saw anyway, and don't you dare cry. He isn't worth the tears. I mean it."

  After talking with Hailey, I took a long hot bath. As I was relaxing in the bath, I checked my phone since I had not checked it since this morning. I had two text messages. One from my mom, making sure I was coming home for Thanksgiving. She wanted to plan Chloe's baby shower for that weekend, since that was when we would all be home together before she had the baby. The other one was from Dominic this morning, asking if we could talk.

  A few hours later, I was getting hungry. I decided to text Dominic to see if he wanted to grab some pizza, and come over to talk. He responded back saying yes, and that he would see me soon.

  About an hour later, he knocked before he came in. "Baby?"

  I sat up in bed and pulled my ponytail tighter. "I'm here."

  He put the pizza down on my desk, and came to sit next to me, "I don't know exactly what happened last night, but we need to figure it out. I can't lose you because of a misunderstanding."

  I scowled at him. "You sure didn't seem too concerned about it last night; you and that bitch were fucking dry humping each other. How could you do that Dominic, ten minutes after I gave you a blow job?"

  "She's my roommate's girlfriend babe." He reached over and put his hand on the back of my neck. I pushed his hand off. "Remember the girl that came over the other night?" I nodded, remembering exactly whom he was talking about. "That was Brittany; she's no one, no reason to get upset."

  "She sure didn't seem like she is a no one. Not to mention, you made me look like a complete fool in front of your friends. You didn't even come after me when I tried to leave. I ran into Hunter, and he made me crash in his room because I was a little too drunk to go home by myself.
"

  "No one thinks you're a fool. He made you crash in his room? Where the fuck did he sleep?" He stood up and started pacing in front of me.

  I knew I was being spiteful. I could not help but gloat at my payback for his acting like an asshole, so I told him the truth. "Where else would he sleep, but in his room, with me."

  "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He yelled.

  "Maybe you should have been the one to make sure I was ok to get home, instead of worrying about that skank."

  "I'm sorry Kenzie. I acted like a fucking idiot. I drank too much. I love you, and only you." He came over and cupped my face.

  Sighing, I said, "I'm scared Dominic. I feel like you are changing, and I'm going to end up getting hurt."

  "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Come on; let's eat before it gets any colder." He kissed my head, then put a slice of pizza on a plate and handed it me.

  While we were eating, Dominic mentioned that he was not going to have a lot of time to spend with me, now that football was picking up. I told him I was going to look for a part time job to keep me busy. He agreed that would be a good idea, and offered to let me borrow his car to go job hunting. Times like this, I wished I had brought my own car. Dad had suggested I leave it home, since I really would not be using it. He figured that Dominic and Hunter would be here to help me out if I was stuck. Dominic stayed and watched a movie with me, and then he went back to his room to sleep since he had to be up so early in the morning.

  Later that night, when Hailey came back, I asked if she wanted to go out with me tomorrow and look for a job. She agreed, saying she could use some money with the holidays coming up. She could not rely on her mom to help her out, since she was already helping her so much with school.

  The next afternoon, Hailey and I got all dressed up and went out looking for jobs. Dominic had slid his key under the door as he said he would. We applied at a few local coffee shops that were within walking distance, and they all said they would get back to us. We stopped at a few places at the mall too, which were not too far from the dorm.